A/N: Hey!! Thanks for all your reviews!! Here comes the second chapter!!!
Disclaimer: I… I… I do not own Naruto!!!! (runs away with precious diamond-like tears flowing from my eyes)
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Recap:
Okay… this is it… Please make it a negative sign… He peeked a little and snapped his eyes open. Two perpendicular lines… no…it's… a… positive sign…
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
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Chapter 2: What to Do
"Yeah! I'm the first one to arrive!" Naruto grinned.
"Dobe, you think so?" Sasuke suddenly appeared from the shadows of the trees.
"Oh, Sasuke, ah…" Naruto blushed, remembering about what happened to them.
"Something caught your tongue?" Sasuke mocked in his ever stoic attitude.
"No, nothing…" Naruto replied.
"Hi, guys!!" A loud, yet sweet voice called.
They turned to see who's calling.
"Ah! Sakura-chan!!" Naruto answered in his overly-sweet voice that's only meant for the pink-haired kunoichi.
"Sasuke-kun!! How was your sleep last night?" Sakura, being scatterbrained over Naruto's greet and sweetness, went over to Sasuke.
"Sakura…" Naruto's eyes were filled with hurt-tears.
"Anyway, where's Kakashi-sensei?" Sakura asked.
"Doing his usual habit… being late…" Sasuke replied.
After an hour…
"Darn!! Where the hell is he?!" Sakura blurted out.
'Poof!'
"Sorry, guys! I'm late!" The silver-haired man grinned under his mask.
"For once in your life be on time!!" Sakura yelled.
"Hehe, sorry."
"So, what's today's mission?" Sasuke asked.
"Oh, yeah, today's mission is ranked D. We will be looking for the cat of Mr. Inoue."
"What…?" Naruto and Sakura both asked.
"What are the details?" Sasuke asked.
"Well, it's a fat, white, furry cat with some black spots on its back."
"Alright." He said setting off.
"Sasuke-kun! Wait for us!!"
After a few hours…
Imagine the hottest day in a decade. Well, on that day, you would want to be in the coldest part of the earth, right? You would want to be work-free. You would want to be relaxing. Sadly, for three genins, they have a mission of searching for a missing cat. That would be pretty annoying, right?
"WHAT THE HELL!! WHERE'S THAT (censored) CAT!?!?" Naruto burst out.
"Naruto, keep your cool or else you're gonna scare the cat away!" Sakura shushed even though her inner-self was 10,000 miles deeper than Naruto's hell.
"Oh, I'm so tired!" He pouted as he sat on the ground.
"C'mon, Naruto, don't be lazy!" Sakura said as she tried to pull Naruto up. "Hey… that cat's fat, white, furry and has black spots on its back… … … IT'S THE CAT!!!"
Suddenly, Naruto jumped from his sitting position and started to chase the cat. Too bad the cat noticed it and ran really fast away from him.
"COME BACK HERE YOU (censored) CAT!!" Naruto yelled.
After several minutes…
What the heck, doesn't that cat get tired?! Naruto thought. And, hell, it's so hot I can feel the heat absorbing all my energy!
Suddenly, Naruto felt really woozy and fainted. Good thing Sasuke was there to catch the cat and Naruto.
"Naruto… are you alright?" Sasuke asked with a slight trace of worry in his voice.
Then, Sakura and Kakashi came.
"Hey! Naruto! Naruto!!" Sakura shook him.
-At the hospital-
"How's Naruto?" Sakura asked Tsunade.
"He's better now. He fainted maybe because of the extreme temperature."
"Erm…" The blonde grunted.
"Naruto!" Sakura went by his side. "Are you feeling better now?"
"Oh, Sakura, yeah, I'm better now… Um, where's baa-chan?"
"I'm here, Naruto." Tsunade replied.
"Um… guys? May I please talk with Tsunade-baba for a moment in private?"
Everyone nodded in agreement.
"Thanks."
"So, Naruto, what do you want to talk about?" Tsunade asked.
"I… well… promise me first that you won't freak out and that you won't tell a soul."
"I promise."
"I… um… I'm pregnant…"
"You're… what… but how?"
"Well, it's a kind of a long story. Do you mind?"
"Sure, go on ahead."
"Okay, here it goes…" Naruto took a deep breath before continuing. "A few weeks ago, I activated my Sexy no Jutsu because I was kind of curious about how females feel just for a day. So, I went here, there, etc. And then the last place I went to was the club, there I saw Sasuke by the bar. Then, I drank a few bottles of red wine and got drunk. Sasuke, at that time, was already drunk, too. I asked him to make out with me, but I was just joking. To my surprise, he agreed. And so, we made out. That morning my Sexy no Jutsu was already off. Good thing Sasuke was still asleep so I was able to sneak out of the room. And then…"
"Then?" Tsunade asked.
"… And, then, yesterday I went to your office, and got a little dizzy with the smell of the coffee you were drinking. Then, when I got home I ate ramen, which is what I'm always eating, and then I vomited. That's when my suspicion aroused. So, I went to the nearest drug store to buy a pregnancy test, and I tested myself… And then… and then… it was a positive! I tried again and again, but I just got the same result!"
"Oh, kami… So, you mean Uchiha's the father?" Tsunade asked in disbelief.
Naruto nodded.
"But… how? I mean, I've never encountered something like this before. Look, you're a boy, and you don't have an ovary, neither do you have an umbilical cord that will connect you to your child. That can be pretty impossible!"
"Yeah, that's what I'm confused about…"
"Oh! I know! Maybe someone has placed a curse upon you!" Tsunade said with her eyes looking so scary.
"Oh, shut up. That's… impossible… maybe…"
" 'Maybe'? Haha, see! You're not even sure! Let's go see Mr. Mushi, the witch doctor!"
"Mr. Mushi? Oh, the mushroom-freak guy, right?"
"No, he's the mash-potato-freak guy."
"But you're the one who told me that he's the mushroom-freak guy."
"Oh, really? Well, anyway, he has many sidelines. So, let's go."
"Wait, I haven't agreed yet to your stupid idea!!"
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"Are you really sure?" Naruto whispered at Tsunade's ear while his eyes wandered around the place that looks like a cult's with lots of candles.
"Yeah… He's the number one witch doctor around Konoha even though it's only his part-time job. He even healed me last week when I was cursed with two humongous boils… one on every cheek…" Tsunade frowned at the memory.
"But you're the best medic-nin here in Konoha; of course, you'll get those boils out of your face."
"No! I tried every, single knowledge I had, but still it didn't work. He said that a certain white haired man with red marks on his face placed the curse upon me. I figured that it was Jiraiya. Thus, I asked him out, and he really did stutter. So, I beat the crap out of him."
Oh… so that's why he's still in the hospital until now with bandages all over his body… Better not mess around with baa-chan… Naruto sweat-dropped.
"Hello, my guests… Oh! Hokage-sama! I didn't expect you to be here! Oh, and who might this boy be?" A man with shamanic clothes and a long white hair tied into a single bun behind his head approached.
"Hey, Mr. Mushi. This boy here is Uzumaki Naruto."
"Hello, Mr. Mushi." Naruto greet with a weak, scared smile.
"So, what brings you here?" He asked as he sits down with them.
"Um… Naruto here has a serious problem which is very… top secret… We suspect he's pregnant, but he's a boy. Is a curse placed upon him?"
"Hm… first let me do my ritual." He stood up and started some strange, unknown dance accompanied by some giber-ish kind of language.
"I really think this is a bad idea…" Naruto whispered more to himself, but Tsunade heard him.
"Just be quiet and trust him!"
He continued the strange dance and the murmurings until, "HAH!"
"Hm? So, is there a curse?" Tsunade asked.
"Hm…" His eyes still closed.
"Mr. Mushi?" Naruto called.
"I see no curse upon you." He opened his eyes.
"But… how can it be? A curse is the only possible way that he can be pregnant!" Tsunade can't believe what he's hearing.
"Sorry, but that's all I can do. I can assure you that it's no curse, but just a natural thing."
"What!? So, you're saying that me being pregnant is just natural?!" Naruto snapped out.
"Exactly."
"Oh, c'mon, baa-chan, we must not be wasting our time in this stupid place." Naruto said as he stood up and started walking away. Tsunade followed after him, but was stopped by Mr. Mushi.
"Um, Hokage-sama, the talent fee, please."
"Oh, yeah, right." She said as she handed over cash and followed Naruto.
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"So, what are you planning now, Naruto?" Tsunade asked as they were walking.
"Actually, I don't have an idea… I don't want this! I regret giving in to my curiosity! I regret making out with Sasuke! I regret getting pregnant! I don't want them to see my belly going abnormally big! I don't want them to find out that I'm pregnant… especially Sasuke!"
There was silence…
"Aha! I have an idea!"
"Hm? What is it? Tell me!"
"It goes like this…" Tsunade whispered to Naruto her plan.
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"Yo, guys!" Kakashi appeared out of nowhere.
"You're two hours late, Kakashi-sensei!" Sakura glared at him.
"Hehe, sorry." He sheepishly said.
"Where's Naruto? It's not his habit to be late like you." Sasuke said in his usual monotone voice.
"Um, actually, the Hokage sent him to an A ranked mission which will last for approximately 9 months… all by himself." The silver-haired man said, scratching the back of his head.
"WHAT!?"
TBC…