Chapter 30

"Crazy?" Clark asked with wide eyes. "What would give you such an idea?"

Shrugging, Lois walked to the pool of blood on the floor and stared at it. "I just keep thinking to myself that this is not real, that somehow all this danger you and John talk about doesn't exist."

"But it does."

"I know," she responded with a sigh. "I never truly believed that we were alone in the universe, but I never suspected that there were things out there beyond my comprehension." She crossed her arms as she walked around the chair. "I fancy myself a pretty open minded person, but this is almost too much Smallville."

Clark frowned and put a hand on her shoulder. "I know its hard Lois, but things are never as easy as you want them to be. Even I have come to know that."

She spun around and held his forearms. "I know that too, but all of this is hard to swallow. There's a certain affection, maybe even adoration to having an alien for a boyfriend, but knowing that there are agents out there that wish you nothing but harm is very unsettling."

"Nothing is going to happen to me," he reassured her as he hugged her tight.

"You say that, but look at what happened earlier. You almost got yourself killed."

He pushed her away just a little and held her shoulders. "If that's the price I have to pay to keep everyone safe, then it's just. I am just one man, Lois, but I have the ability to save the lives of many. My sacrifice of life would mean that so many more people got to live."

Lois searched his eyes to see if he was lying, but she knew better than to doubt him. She was simply frustrated and nervous. "You sound like you'd gladly give up your life in a heartbeat."

"If that was the only way, yes, but unlike John, I always believe there is a choice, no matter if the consequences are severe. I don't want to die; I just know that if the ultimate sacrifice has to be made, I won't hesitate. You wouldn't either, and I think you know that." He smiled at her as her lips parted slightly.

"Now you're starting to sound like that alien friend of yours." She swatted him playfully on the chest.

"I guess some things have rubbed off on me. I don't know what it is, but J'onn has the personality that a hero must have. Sure, he's sometimes a little prickly when it comes to the details, such as the little argument we had there with the memory wiping, but he does what needs to be done. I just hope one day I can do the same."

Placing a hand on his cheek, Lois look right into his eyes and said, "Smallville, there is no doubt in my mind that you'll be the greatest hero the world has ever scene."

"Greatest?" he asked as he removed her hand and played with her fingers. "I don't know about greatest. I just want to help."

"And you will. You always have."

Clark smiled wide and nodded. "I guess so."

"Yep, but now you don't have to brood about your abilities after."

"What?" he asked with a chuckle.

"Oh come on Smallville, you know full well what I'm talking about."

"I do," he replied, bending down and kissing her softly. She was right; he did know exactly what she was talking about. He had spent many of his years lamenting his abilities and how much they held back his emotional development. What he knew now was that he really only needed the unconditional love of a woman to make him feel good about himself. Every time he thought about Lois, he couldn't help but draw comparisons to Lana.

His former next door neighbor made him doubt himself, doubt his existence and even his purpose for helping people. Lois on the other hand found it endearing, even though it was potentially dangerous. She held no reservations about him keeping secrets either. Sure, he was quite certain she didn't like it, but she understood that he had solid reasons. There was an understanding between them, even if they had never spoken about it.

"Smallville?"

Clark looked back down at her. Her face was drawn in concern as her eyebrows arched downwards. "What?"

"You had a far off look."

He smiled. "I was just thinking about how lucky I am to be with you."

"Aww, you big softy," Lois drawled, her cheeks bulging out in a big smile. "I get the feeling you're the hopeless romantic in this relationship."

"And you're not romantic," he asked with a raised brow.

"Oh, I am, but I'm not quite as sappy as you are."

He rolled his eyes and let go of her. Within a few seconds he had the blood on the floor mopped up and the chair crushed to pieces. He put the towels and the wood inside a large garbage bag and stood in front of her. "Where should I put this?"

"Honestly? I have no idea. Maybe you should ask J'onn," She used the Martian's real name to emphasize her sarcasm.

"Ha! Ha," he snorted back and disappeared in a flash. It wasn't five seconds later he returned with nothing in his hands.

"Where did you put it?"

"Home."

"Home? As in Smallville?"

"Yep. I threw it in the burn bin. I'll burn it when I get back home again."

Lois sized him up and squeezed his right bicep. "So you're faster now too?"

Clark nodded with a big grin. "Faster than I could have ever imagined." He looked at her hand on his arm and his smile disappeared. He still couldn't feel her, his heart sinking just a little in his chest.

"Still can't feel me?" she asked with a sad face.

"No,"

"How about now?" She leaned up and kissed him, making sure to bite his lip.

"Yes, but I told you before that my lips seem like the only part of my body that have their regular senses. My fingertips tingle sometimes, but other than that it's just a dull nothing."

Lois tapped his lips with her finger as she pulled back. "Well, as long as I can kiss you, I think you can wait for the rest of your feeling to come back."

"That's not really it. I'm afraid I could hurt you."

"We've already spoken about this."

"I know, I just-."

She cut him off by placing a hand over his lips. "Don't worry, it's fine, I will willingly put my life on the line to be with you. Sure, I might need a bag of ice every once and a while until you gain it all back, but I can handle it."

He shook his head and laughed. She had the uncanny ability to make him smile when he was feeling down. "I'll do my bet not to crush you."

"There, that's what I wanted to hear. Just keep that in mind and I'm sure everything will be fine." She winked at him and smirked. "Now, I'm pretty sure Perry is wondering where we are, so I think we best get back."

"No, I have to get you and everyone else out of here like John said."

Lois laughed suddenly, but was only greeted to a hard stare. "It's almost nine; we can't simply force everyone out of here."

"But-."

"No buts," she interjected. "We're still going to have a talk about me leaving, because I won't." When he was about to say something in his defense, she pointed a finger at him. "No, I won't hear of it now. There is a function downstairs that we have to attend and we've already been gone for too long. We'll speak about this in the morning. Tonight, I just want to enjoy myself as much as I can and let you take all my worries away."

"Um, aren't you the one who does that to me?" Clark asked with a frown.

"Hey, this isn't a one way street bub, you have to lift your own weight." She grabbed him by the arm and dragged him into the bedroom.

He managed to pick his dress coat off the bed as she pulled him along at a quickened pace.

It took only a few minutes to get back down to the convention room, but Clark's thoughts were presently elsewhere. Getting everyone out of the hotel was dominating his present state of mind. Everyone's safety dwarfed anything else around him. John had specifically told him to do so, but he was delaying.

As they reentered the room, he leaned over and whispered to Lois. "We shouldn't be doing this. We have to get everyone out of here."

She looked at him and arched her eyebrows down. "And how do we do that without creating mass hysteria? There are almost a thousand people in this hotel alone. Plus with the town so close to the resort, there's no way we could do it."

"But you heard J'onn."

"Of course I did, but that doesn't mean we can do it."

"We have to Lois,"

"I know," she replied with a weak smile as they mingled themselves within the now boisterous room. The presentation was over and everyone was jumping from table to table and introducing themselves. The noise was almost unbearable, but Clark managed to locate a Perry.

For the next few hours they wine and dined with some of the most influential people in journalism.

-

After nearly four hours on her feet, Lois finally gave in and allowed Clark to take her away from the now sparse crowd of people in the convention room. There weren't many left who were sober, except Perry. Otherwise, the few remaining people were thoroughly drunk or somewhat unable to stand.

Perry had explained that there were a group of journalists that had covered Desert Storm and were particularly fond of their alcohol. The now sober ombudsman was a part of that fraternity, but he was the only one who wasn't staggering. It seemed that once all professionalism from the major heads of the nation's newspapers left, the convention always turned into a drinking contest of sorts.

Lois found it odd, but she understood that it was a once a year engagement that old friends could catch up and partake in a little bit of fun. It was also relieving to know that that the field wasn't full of stuffy nosed people who weren't hospitable. Perry's group of friends were influential people who had a spice for life that she hadn't expected.

Clark walked over to Perry as Lois stood at the back of the room with Chloe and Jimmy. The young photographer had drunk a little more than his fair share and had a drunken arm around his girlfriend for 'loving support' as he put it.

"Perry," he said as walked up and shook the man's hand once again.

"Leaving already, Kent?" Perry grinned.

"It's almost two in the morning."

Perry checked his watch and his eyes widened. "I guess time flies when you're having a good time. I hope we didn't disappoint you?"

Clark smiled and nodded. "I received a fair share of war stories from you friends here to keep me entertained."

Leaning in, Perry whispered. "They're almost all lies."

"Hey!" another reporter said loudly, his speech slurry significantly. "We do not lie!"

"Shut up Harold, you know full well you exaggerate everything."

"It's what the public wants," he slurred, then turned his attention back to his bottle.

"Sure," Perry replied as he rolled his eyes and turned back to the young man in front of him. "Well, I'd say have a good evening, but maybe a good morning since it's only a few hours until sunup."

"Thanks, Perry, for everything."

"Don't mention it kid. I still owe you one, remember?"

Nodding, Clark said. "About that, I think I'd like to cash in on that."

"Oh." Perry's eyes lit up. "So soon?"

"Yes,"

"Then come over here lad and we'll discuss it." He pulled Clark aside.

Lois watched from the door as Jimmy wavered on his feet, the stench of alcohol emanating of him. "Chloe, does your boyfriend not know how to drink?" She didn't look at her cousin; instead her eyes were glued to Clark, who was off in a corner and talking to Perry. She almost jumped when Perry peered around Clark's head and smiled at her. The grin he gave her was unsettling, but there was warmth to it, and she smiled back. Clark shook the older man's hand a second later and came walking back to them.

"I'm sorry, Lois, Jimmy doesn't have as much practice with liquor as you do." Chloe smiled evilly as Jimmy almost fell to the ground.

"Apparently," Lois replied as she giggled at the young photographer. "He's downright plastered."

"I am not drunk," Jimmy hollered, his words almost incomprehensible. "I only had a few beers."

"You were drinking champagne," Lois mocked as she rolled her eyes.

"Whatever, I'm just feeling a little sick is all."

She laughed even louder when Chloe dropped Jimmy into a chair by the door, unable to be his crutch of support for a minute longer. "Chloe, I think you need to teach him that drinking takes practice."

"Not everyone has a liver like yours," Clark said as he walked up and shoved his hands into his pockets.

"Smallville, there you are, I was wondering when you'd get back to us." She kissed him lightly and smiled. "Not that I missed you of course."

"Liar," he replied with a grin, grabbing her hand in his palm. It was natural motion, but unlike before, he could feel her hand just a little, his own tingling slightly at her touch.

"What did you and Perry talk about?"

"I thanked him for the tickets and for the opportunity to attend."

"And now you're out of his debt?"

"Yep." He smiled as he began to lead her out of the room. They were about to exit when he heard Chloe from behind.

"Clark?"

"Yeah?" he asked as he turned around. Chloe was desperately trying to get a groggy Jimmy to his feet. "Need a hand?" He smiled ruefully as Chloe nodded. With one smooth motion, he walked over and slung the half conscious photographer over his shoulder.

When Clark didn't say anything, Chloe put her hands on her hips. "Aren't you going to warn me about letting him get drunk?"

Frowning, Clark shrugged his shoulders and said. "I'm sure Lois has said enough for both of us."

"And you're going to let my cousin speak for you?" She smiled wide as Lois glared at her.

"Only when it seems appropriate, I'm sure there will be times that her mouth will get her in trouble, wait, I can guarantee that, but she has a good head on her shoulders."

"Oh, thanks for the kind words, Smallville!" Lois said without betraying any sarcasm.

"You're welcome," he bantered back, smiling and heading through the doors with Jimmy now fully unconscious on his shoulder.

"Maybe we should take him to the emergency room?" Chloe asked as they entered the hallway and towards the elevator.

Lois shook her head and pressed the button. "He's just drunk Chloe."

"And you're the expert, aren't you?" she mocked.

"In fact, yes I am."

Chloe shook her head from side to side and pursed her lips.

"Hey, don't worry; by the time we get to our floor, he should be vomiting. Elevators are a drunken person's worst nightmare."

"Really?" Clark asked as he stepped inside with the others. He pulled his head back and looked a Jimmy more closely.

Seeing his worried eyes, Lois reassured him. "Don't worry, we'll get him away from you before he vomits all over that brand new suit of yours."

Nodding smugly, Clark waited as the elevator closed and they began to move upwards. It wasn't a few seconds later that Jimmy started to groan loudly. "Already?" he asked as he was about to drop the man from his shoulder.

"Not yet," Chloe said as they reached the top floor and exited.

"How do you know?" he asked.

"Remember, Clark, I've had practice with this sort of thing." She glared over to Lois.

"Hey, I held my own hair plenty of times."

"Sure, Lois, and I ended up having to brush out all the dried vomit from your hair in the morning."

"You enjoyed every minute of it," Lois shot back with a sneer and a laugh. Chloe only grunted in response as she unlocked the door and led them inside.

Clark walked into the main room and over to the Chloe and Jimmy's bedroom. He gingerly laid a still groaning Jimmy on the bed and exited. "Do you need a hand?" he asked Chloe as he met her at the doorway.

"No, I think I'll be fine. He'll vomit a few times and then feel sick in the morning."

He took a glance back at the bed as Jimmy was hunkered in the fetal position. "I find myself envying him. How strange is that?" he said with a smile.

Chloe smiled back and placed a hand on his arm. "I think I understand."

"You always have," he replied as she walked into the room.

Lois walked over and leaned on the door frame. "Goodnight you two," she said with a large grin. When her cousin gave her a stupid look, her smile turned into a smirk and she shut the door for the two of them. She would have shut the light off too, but she wasn't that cruel.

"Alcoholics," she sneered with a chuckle. She turned around to see Clark sitting at the kitchen counter on a stool and his head buried in his arms as he leaned over. "Clark?" she asked with a soft tone as she went over and laid a hand on his back. When he lifted his head to stare at her, she could have sworn he looked like he was about to drop dead.

Seeing her face etch in concern, he smiled, but failed miserably. "I'm just tired."

"No you're not. The weight of the world is on your shoulders and it's consuming you."

"So, what if it is?" he said with a sigh, dropping his head back into his crossed arms. Everything seemed insurmountable, and it ate away at him like acid to a pair of jeans.

"Let's just go to bed," Lois said as she put her other hand on his left elbow. He nodded solemnly and got up.

Feeling as if talking might dull the overwhelming feeling of responsibility, he said. "It's not just about Brainiac."

She didn't say anything as she led him into the bedroom and helped him out of his suit. It took longer than she thought it might, but he was a big man and was apparently very tired. "Then what is it?" she finally asked as he slipped of his pants.

Clark responded as Lois wandered to the other side of the bed and changed. He would have normally given her privacy by turning around or leaving the room, but he didn't feel as if he had the energy to. "It's everyone else. No one except the people in this hotel suite and J'onn know what's really out there. What we know is more shocking than anyone else could fathom. If Brainiac makes himself known, how in the world do we keep everyone else safe?"

Lois smiled weakly and shrugged. She went into the bathroom and washed her face, removing the makeup she had on. Drying her face with a small towel, she flicked off the light and entered the bedroom once again. "I don't know how to keep them safe. And I know you won't like hearing this, but J'onn entrusted that responsibility to you."

He nodded his head as he sat on the end of the bed in only his boxers. "I know he did, but that's so much responsibility. I don't know if I can do it."

She came over in her flannel pajamas and sat beside him, taking his hand in hers and rubbing the back of it with her other. "Don't start doubting yourself, it won't do any good. I know you can do this. Actually, we can do this. All we need to do is get some sleep and I'm sure we will come up with something in the morning."

Clark almost nodded, but guilt was seeping its way into his heart. "It's my fault that Candice died, and anyone who is going to die."

"Shhh," Lois whispered as she continued massaging the back of his hand. "It's not your fault Clark."

"Yes it is, and anyone else who should die in the future will be my fault too."

"You can't save everyone," she replied as she squeezed his hand tightly. When he looked over at her with tears in his eyes, she could have sworn she could see right into his soul. The guilt, the pain, it all showed in his eyes.

"But I can try, can't I?"

"Of course you can," she smiled weakly, kissing him lightly and pulling back. "The Clark Kent I know wouldn't do anything less."

He adverted her eyes and suddenly stood up. "Sometimes I feel as if I'm not the same Clark Kent you think I am. Sometimes I feel that what I've dealt with as a teenager is nothing compared to what I will come up against in the future."

Still sitting on the end of the bed, she watched as he turned around and looked at her with the most helpless expression she had ever seen. It tore her heart apart.

"How am to fight what's coming when I have no idea what I can do. Everything is changing, yet I seem to be a step behind. I possess strength beyond imagination, yet I have no idea how to control it. I have to make sure I don't hurt you when I touch you, but what should happen if I accidentally hurt someone else, or god forbid it, accidentally kill someone because I can't control myself?"

There was a point where she was getting fed up with his constant worries and fears, but she knew deep down that he was going through the most traumatic part of who he was. He was Smallville after all, he wouldn't be who he was if he didn't get scared and worried. It was what made him human. She also knew that she was the only one who would ever see this side of him, and in the end that put such a solid conviction to his soulmate theory that it made her smile.

She gently rose and walked to her side of the bed. Crawling in and pulling the covers back over herself, she positioned herself and stared at him. "Just get in bed Clark."

"What?" he asked with a suddenly frowning expression.

"Did you not hear me the first time?" She asked with smirk. "I said get in bed." He hesitated a few seconds before he finally relented and crawled in as she pulled back the blankets for him. Quickly covering them under the sheets, she scooted closer to him and put her arm around his neck and her nose to his.

"Lois, I'm not really-,"

"Shh," she whispered again and placed a finger on his lips. "Just hold me Clark." He once again frowned, but when she smiled warmly, he nodded and brought her into his embrace, engulfing his arms around her. "Just hold me," she whispered one more time as she let him release all the pain inside him. Sometimes words weren't enough.

Clark held her for what seemed like an eternity, letting out all his sorrow and pain in the arms of the woman he loved. It took only a few seconds, but for some odd reason all his senses came back to him. Suddenly he could feel her, her hot body against his warm skin and her hair tickling his chin. A smile split his lips as his heart began to beat furiously.

A small tear trickled down his cheek and dropped into her hair as her head was snuggled conveniently into his neck.

It wasn't a few minutes later that she was asleep. He would have likely done the same, but his excitement at being able to feel her took hold and he didn't want it to end. If he could feel her, he wouldn't let her go.

As if some person was playing a cruel joke on him, it all went away in an instant. His eyes closed and he let out a heavy breath as it disappeared completely. He did take solace in the fact that for the briefest of moments he could once again feel everything around him. Even the sheet lying on top of his skin had made him smile. He underestimated how much it all meant. It reminded him that he was human and that he could be touched, loved.

As Lois's calm breath hit his chest over and over again, he stared at the wall in the moonlit room. He was about to close his eyes and try to sleep when he almost crushed Lois in his arms. He had it, he knew what he had to do.

Gently, and with as much care as he could, he removed his arms from her and crawled out of the bed. She mumbled something, making him stop dead in his tracks. When she made no further movements or audible sounds, he quickly sped into a fresh pairs clothes and slipped on his boots. He had been incredibly tired, but his vigor had just been bumped up ten notches. He knew exactly what had to be done. He wasn't alone in all this, neither was Lois, Chloe, Jimmy or J'onn. With a smile, he turned the knob to the door leading to the hallway. Exiting the room, he took one last look at Lois's sleeping form and closed the door.

He lacked a coat, but it was completely unnecessary. As quickly as he could, he vaulted up the stairs to the top of the hotel and walked out onto the snow covered roof. Walking to the edge, he looked around for anyone who might be watching. When he saw no sign of anyone, he hopped up onto the ridge and dropped heavily to the ground. With one knee on the ground and his fingers in a five point flex like and offensive lineman, he looked around to once again make sure no one had seen him. With a satisfied grunt, he got up and took at a speed no human eye could possibly detect.

-

He stood guard, his eyes dropping every couple of seconds from the lack of sleep. It was his turn at guard, yet it really wasn't his preferred position. The duty was incredibly boring, and in the middle of the night there was no one around. Once more his eyes dropped and he almost fell asleep.

A sudden tap at the window brought him fully awake. He rubbed the fog from his eyes and peered at the tall individual in only a t-shirt. "Yes?" he asked directly, his hand falling below the counter of the heated room and resting on his gun. "Can I help you?"

The dark haired man with the red shirt simply nodded and said. "I'd like to see the General."