Illusion's Folly
Chapter 17
Of Curses and Kisses
(a) (a) (a)
Phase One of the Kakashi Revenge Scheme was in effect. Iruka had spent three days with the Hokage working out the plan. It had involved lots of scrolls, paperwork, and sake. He didn't think he would drink again for quite some time after that. They had devised a plan that would keep Kakashi away from Iruka. It wasn't very hard. All Tsunade had to do was keep the Copy Nin busy with various little missions and Iruka could do his training in peace. But he doubted that Kakashi would be fooled for very long. He gave it a week before the man figured it out. It had been four days since he left the Hokage's apartments and had come home to find his things laying on the couch. Bastard.
Two days into to his new training routine with Gai and Asuma, Iruka was treated to the cigarette smoking Jounin's Chakra blades. Not wanting the two to hold back on him as he sped through the training field, he had missed the brief flare and was nearly decapitated as Asuma chucked the blades at his neck. He hadn't thought the blades were close, but after a second of pained surprise he had felt blood trickle down his shoulder. Not letting the cut paralyze him, he had used a simple medical jitsu to staunch the flow of blood and kept running. Three more times Asuma threw his blades and three more mysterious cuts appeared.
After the three men sat panting under a huge oak, Iruka was told about the Chakra infused weapon. Taking the critisism with good grace, Iruka let Gai heal the wounds, as Asuma lit up and took a drink from his canteen.
"You're getting better at dodging, Iruka," Asuma said after exhaling. "Pretty soon, I won't be able to knick you." He smiled at the faint blush staining the smaller man's cheeks.
"If I hadn't ducked that last time, I would be in the hospital. Or dead," Iruka laughed, rubbing his shoulder. "I need to work on my tracking. I barely registered the flares." He frowned. "But that bothers me. I've normally been able to sense the flares and where they originate."
Gai, finished with his treatment, sat back on his knees. "It's from the stress you've been under, Iruka. No one can blame you for losing your focus."
Asuma agreed. "You've only just come back. Give your nerves time to adjust to your situation and then you won't have a problem tracking the flares or the person."
Iruka thought about it for a moment then smiled at the two men. "I guess you are right. I haven't had a chance to really relax." Standing, he grabbed his shirt and canteen. "I'm going to take a day from the training and laze about. I need to check on my yukata and do some shopping."
"Yukata?" Asuma asked, blinking his eyes.
"Yeah. The Spring Festival?" Iruka prompted. "Don't tell me you've forgotten, Asuma? Kurenai will have your balls if you have."
The large man paled and laughed nervously. "Actually, I did." Gai sighed, as did Iruka. "What? I haven't had time to think about it!" he flared, tossing the burned out cigarette away.
"Well, you better be finding a yukata for it. It's in a few days, you know," Iruka teased. He danced away from a swinging fist. "See you guys in a couple of days!" He ran back to his apartment, leaving the two Jounins to smile after his retreating back.
"Do you think Kakashi will meet him at the festival?" Asuma asked the silent Gai.
"Probably," Gai answered simply. "What gets me is why that crazy man hasn't tracked Iruka down yet."
Asuma raised a brow at the simple language. Maito Gai hardly ever talked simply. This must be serious. "From what I hear, Kakashi's been working his ass off. The Hokage has been sending him left and right of the village and hardly has any time to eat or sleep." He lit a cigarette and watched the blue smoke rise for a few seconds. "I wonder why she's been riding his ass like that."
Gai shrugged. "Who knows what our esteemed leader thinks. She's female. She's kuniochi. She's the strongest shinobi that I never want to cross." He turned to Asuma and grinned, his white teeth glinting in the afternoon light. "Besides, Kakashi's always being disrespectful of Hokage-sama, calling her obaa-chan."
Asuma choked on the smoke leaving his lungs and spent the next few minutes fighting Gai's minstrations to regain his breath.
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Iruka sped through the village to his apartment. He felt a lot better, but he smelled. He doubted the shop owner would like to have a smelly man trying on the yukata. He quickly showered and used his lemon-basil shampoo to wash away the grime and sweat. Now he needed to eat and relax. He would go to the shop early and while he was out, take his laundry. After wolfing down his re-heated ramen and a pot of sweet orange tea, he toppled into bed.
Waking to a bright sun, Iruka shook out his hair. Brushing the shoulder length mass, he pushed it back on his head and wrapped his headband around his head, foregoing his usual ponytail. Spotting a clean pair of jeans and a brown t-shirt with an orange whale on it, a gift from Naruto, he quickly dressed and gathered his laundry together. He looked around his apartment and grimaced. Another job to do when he got back in. Hefting the large sack of laundry over his shoulders, he closed his door and headed off for the laundry and his yukata.
He entered the little shop a few minutes later, calling out to the little man. A muted shuffle answered him as the little man hurried from the back of the shop. Smiling at the little man, he let himself be taken into the changing room.
"I hope you like your gift, Iruka-sensei. I've been working on it for the past two weeks," the owner chirped, shoving Iruka into the fitting stall. "You strip on down and I'll bring the yukata out for you." He disappeared around the curtain. Iruka chuckled to himself and stripped to his skivvies. The old man came back in with an armful of beige silk. He set it on a small table, taking a silvery blue silk belt and looping it over his arm. Smilng he shook out the dolphin embroidered yukata and helped Iruka settle it over his shoulders. Taking the belt he tied it around Iruka's waist and stepped back. "Perfect!"
Iruka smiled back and turned to the mirror. The beige fabric glowed against his dark skin, the dolphins patterned across the whole seemed to move in front of his eyes. The belt caught the light and seemed to be made of dolphin skin. It was perfect indeed. He could feel the crest riding in between his shoulders. Turning, he caught sight of the crest and blinked. Done entirely in the same silvery blue as the belt, a dancing dolphin spun around a field of ivory silk, with turquoise waves lapping at it's fluke. He turned to the old man and smiled hugely.
"You've outdone yourself, oji-san!" he exclaimed, stepping over and giving the man a hug. "I love it!"
The old man laughed. "I'm glad you like it too." Stepping back, he motioned to the white pile of cloth on the table. "There is the under robe and Chisa at the shoe shop has your sandals and tabi waiting." He waited as Iruka disrobed and handed him the yukata carefully. "I'll go and wrap these while you dress."
After thanking the old man profusely, Iruak stopped by Chisa's and picked up his footwear. He almost laughed when he spotted the geta and the white tabi waiting on him. There would be no way that he would wear the tabi with the raised sandals. He would just run around without the tabi. If they became a problem, he could always wear his old sisal sandals. Thanking Chisa, he backed out of the shop and made his way home. He wanted to get the yukata up on the hangar and set out the small trinkets he would wear with his new aquisition. He would have to find the small turquoise fan his mother used to use during the festivals and his father's silver hair tie. He would wear his hair in a traditional que with the silver tie holding it in place. A simple leaf charm would hang from his sword hilt. It may be a simple festival but the Konoha ninja never attended without thier weapons. It was an honored tradition among them.
Grimacing as he came into his messy apartment, he set about his business. A few minutes later, he started on the kitchen. Washing and drying the dishes didn't take as long as he feared, but the floors were another matter. They would have to be scrubbed from his hands and knees. Not a chore he enjoyed, but it would have to be done. He had a few hours before his laundry would have to be picked up and he still had to air out the bed, dust the furniture, and scrub his bathroom. Really, how had he let it get this bad?
You threw a bitch fit.
I'm not talking to you.
To late.
Shut up!
Iruka ignored that inner voice of his as he powered through the scrubbing of the floors and his bathroom. He continued to ignore it as he removed his futon from the raised platform in his room. He should have taken the bedclothes to the laundry too, but he hadn't thought that far ahead. He could wash them himself and hang them out with the futon. With the last of the chores only dusting, he set about washing his bedclothes in his once clean bathroom. After pinning the last of the sheets to the drying poles, he went back in to mop the soaking floor of his bathroom. He inhaled the lemon scent still lingering in the air and smiled to himself. He was still smiling as he dusted the last of the speakers in the wall unit.
Checking the time, he hurried from the apartment to the laundress, paid, and strolled back home. He detoured to Ichiraku's for lunch, the smell of their famous pork miso floating around the little ramen shop. Taking a stool, he placed his laundry on the stool next to him and chatted with the man himself as he prepared his meal. They discussed the kids from this year's academy screw-ups, the courses that Iruka's class were taking, and even the dreaded break down that had taken place a couple of months back. Paying for his lunch, Iruka left Ichiraku's happy and satisfied. All he needed to do now was sit back and enjoy the rest of the day. He would worry about his supper when he got hungry again.
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Panting, Iruka dropped to his knees in the dirt. Gai fell down beside him and groped around the base of the tree for his canteen. They had been chasing each other around, trying to get a hit on one another, but so far neither one had been able to accomplish that feat. Iruka gladly took the canteen from Gai and guzzled a mouthful of the tepid liquid. He made a face and handed it back.
"I don't think I could do that again if I tried," Iruka breathed, his pulse starting to slow.
Gai laughed and slapped the teacher on the back. "You are getting faster. Even I am having trouble keeping up with you!"
Iruka laughed and rubbed his back. "Thank you, Gai."
"Think nothing of it. We have to have you in top form when it comes to those little imps," he winked and grinned, his white teeth flashing in the waning afternoon light.
Iruka smiled back weakly, muttering under his breath, "If I ever do go back."
"Don't say that, Iruka-kun," Gai boomed. "You'll go back. Never doubt that!"
"Al..alright, Gai," Iruka stammered, shuffling back from the man's uplifted arm. "I have to get back home. I'm meeting the Hokage for dinner."
They said thier goodbyes and made plans for a training session in two days. Iruka made his way home slowly. His muscles were screaming, but not as loudly as they had when he first started to train under Gai. For the past two and a half months, Gai had been chasing him around the training fields, the forest, and half the village. Every once in a while, Asuma or Genma would drop by to train with them. Iruka had become a little bit more limber, faster, and had learned that it wasn't wise to trust the visible blade of your opponent. With those sessions, he had walked away with no fewer than five new scars. His leg barely pained him anymore, but it twinged when he put to much stress on it. Hopefully, that would go away as time went by.
An hour later, Iruka made his way to the Hokage's apartment. He could already see the night devolving into a drunken mess, but he guessed that was the price one paid for scaring the living daylights out of your students. He was smiling as he came into Tsunade's office, but was nearly run down as Shizune blew past him with a harried expression on her face.
"Close the door, Iruka-kun," Tsunade rapped out, her platinum head propped on her hand. She swirled her brush a few more times, the lay it down. She turned her amber eyes on him and raised one finely arched brow. "Well?"
"Well, what, Tsunade-sama?" Iruka asked, puzzled.
"How did you like your yukata?" Her eyes were bright with mischief.
Iruka smiled, knowing where the material had come from now. "I love it, Tsunade-sama! It's the most perfect thing I own!"
"I'm glad you like it, Iruka-kun. Now, how has our plan worked so far?" She leaned forward and nearly fell out of her robe.
"Spledid. I haven't seen him all week." He stepped close to the desk and leaned a hip against it. "The only indication he was near me was the return of my gear."
Tsunade steepled her fingers. "Well, I can tell you he's been to busy this last week to even think about coming near you. The poor kid's been run ragged and I think the Festival will be a good break for him." She stood and motioned for Iruka to follow her deeper into her apartments. "I'm giving your little group a couple of days off for the Festival. Do what you will with them."
Iruka grinned at her. "Thank you, Tsunade-sama! I'm sure the others would love to have the time off."
She threw herself down into her pillow-nest and wiggled until she was comfortable. "Now, the only problem will be on how to keep that brat in line and to suffer at the same time."
Iruka chuckled nervously and replied, "But what if he catches on? I don't want to have him chasing me through town again." He rubbed his jaw in memory. "I'll be wearing geta and I'm not to balanced on them."
Tsunade laughed and patted a pillow beside her. "You'll get the hang of them. Jiji doesn't have a problem with them."
"Jiji?" Iruka asked, blinking confusedly.
"Jiraiya, you dolt," she barked, smiling to take the sting away. "So tell me what you'll be wearing with that handsome yukata."
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Kakashi fell face first into his futon and groaned. He was so tired. Fifteen missions in one day, all of them B and C ranked. He was bushed. He needed a drink, food, a shower, and sleep. Not all in that order either. He felt a dip in the futon and a wet nose pressed against his exposed face.
"Kakashi, you need to eat and then sleep," Tomodachi whined, concern lacing his words. "You should really have a word with the Hokage about these missions."
Kakashi rolled onto his back and sighed tiredly. "She's just mad at me about something again. She'll get over it sooner or later."
Tomodachi snorted. "It's been like this since you came back, Kakashi. I don't think she's going to 'get over it', as you said."
Kakashi flapped a white hand at his nin dog and closed his eyes. "I'll have a talk with her when the Festival is over. It's in another two days and I've been given two days off to enjoy it."
"You wearing that yukata again?" Pakkun's gravelly voice rang out.
Kakashi groaned and sat up, his back twinging in protest. "As a matter of fact, no. I'm not going to wear it."
Pakkun huffed and padded over. Sticking his nose into Kakashi's face, he narrowed his eyes. "You will wear that yukata and the Fang. It's tradition and you have no excuse for not wearing them. You have the time off."
"Not going to do it, Pakkun," he grumbled, pouting.
"Don't you want to see what Iruka-kun will be wearing?" the small pug cajoled. "I bet he'll be wearing full regalia."
Kakashi got a vision of the teacher in a yukata with a sword swinging by his lithe frame and his soft brown hair pulled back in a que low on his head. He was drooling before he was half finished with the image. Wiping the drool from his chin, Kakashi shot a glare at the two lauging dogs and headed for his wardrobe. There in the bottom was the old yukata. He would have to let it hang for a few hours to get the wrinkles out, but it would pass. He really needed to have a new one made.
As he was hanging the yukata up, a knock came at his door. Sighing, he went to open the door and blinked his eyes at the small man standing there.
"Yes?" Kakashi asked.
"Hatake Kakashi, I have a package here for you," the small man said, smiling up at him. "It's from the village." He handed the large box to Kakashi and went on his way.
Kakashi stared after him for a moment, shook his head, and closed the door. Why would the village give him anything? He hadn't done anything important for the last few weeks. Shrugging, he took the package into his apartment and set it on the futon, the table being to small for it. What could be inside? Carefully, for he wasn't sure if this was some elaborate joke that Genma was playing on him, he opened the box. Inside, atop a black expanse of tissue paper, a simple message card glared at him from it's seat.
Have a great time, brat.
T
He grinned as he recognized the brush strokes. He wondered what she had sent him. He peeled the tissue paper back and breathed in a quiet gasp. There on the black background was a beautiful silver and white yukata, golden koi swimming across the panels. A simple black belt of silk lay to the side as well as the white under-robe. It was an exact copy of his old one, but it was made to fit his frame. He lifted it from the box and turned it around. There centered between the shoulders was his family crest. The old one hadn't had it, but he could kiss the old hag for adding it to his new one.
He felt something warm sliding down his left cheek. Obito, you crybaby.
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A/N: Gah! It took me long enough. Well, during this entire time, I've been raising a foundling kitten. He was only 2 weeks old when I found him in a parking lot. How mean! Now he's doing fine and sleeping at my feet.
I'll have two chapters for you next week. They should be quite an interesting read...and maybe a hot one, too. But more mystery and mayhem will be joining our two favorite idiots.
For all my Reviewers:
Icy Sapphire - You might get your wish.
lo - Arigato guzaimasu!
Kanemoshi - Close, but no cigar.
Ritsu Yameyake - Spazztasitic and you get your wish...later.
Anime Siren - Glad ya do! I like it too.
BlackMystic - Me too.
snow887 - You have no idea.
Lotus Aia - For the life of me I can't remember either, and no you can't have Kakashi to hide. I need him.
And to all the others that have reviewed...
Arigato!