My wonderful beta, Mlle.Fox, is asking for the assistance of my readers. Please visit her profile for details, but she has a very unique idea and would like the help of as many readers as she can get. Let's give her our expert opinions and help her quest along.

I was really hoping for more reviews on the last chapter; but I shall venture onward. Thank you, to those of you who did take the time to post a review.

This story is turning out to be quite long, so bear with me as we take this journey together.

How many of you caught Gerry's appearance on the Tonight Show Friday night...it was the best interview he's done (of course, I say that about every one of them!!!)

He's on The Late, Late Show with Craig Ferguson tonight (or tomorrow morning) at 12:35 am. EST!!! I'm going crazy with anticipation!!

Enjoy!!

DARK SIDE OF THE GLASS

CHAPTER 5

Letter from Erik Lacroix to Annette Giry.

January 17, 1873

London England

Dear Annette,

England is a wretched country. I never believed it until now. I have been here for a total of eleven months, and I do believe it has rained every, single day and the fog is so thick that I could wrap myself in it and use it as a cloak.

I was pleased to receive your letter; I would not have blamed you for ceasing our acquaintance, especially after my asinine attempt to woo Christine. I do hope, in time, that you will be able to forgive me for all that I have done.

The Italian Opera House has become my new haunting grounds, so to speak. I am staring things out a little differently here; they have all seen my disgusting face and have gotten the chance to ask questions and view it openly and freely.

At first, I was terrified, fearing that everyone would attack me and haul me away to some God-forsaken institution or another freak show. Thankfully, that did not happen and they eventually got used to it. Some of them even seek out my company – imagine my surprise when that happened.

Hammond Lambert is the manager and financier of the opera house and he is a shrewd and intelligent business man as well as being a connoisseur of the arts. He has made himself my conscience, and constantly mends my ways – poor soul.

I am not happy , I doubt I shall ever be – but I am satisfied - for the time being.

The love I had for Christine is fading and I presume that my heart will eventually stop aching – or just stop beating – either way, it will be an improvement. Someday, I hope to be able to look her and Raoul in the face and apologize for my idiotic behavior; but I doubt they will ever allow that to happen. I have finally come to a point in my life where I can wish them both the best and hope that they realize what a blessing it is to have each other.

As for Firmin showing an interest in you, that is certainly not unexpected, from my point of view. You are an attractive woman with a strong intelligence and great wit; any man would be honored to have you on his arm. You have a life, Annette, live it; Henri has been gone a very long time.

Well, I have certainly rattled on about things that may or may not interest you. I bid you farewell, for now.

Erik

Reply letter from Annette Giry to Erik Lacroix.

March 23, 1873

Paris France

My Dear Erik;

Your letters are a highlight in my life; do not ever think that I do not wish to hear from you. Meg is doing wonderfully, they have reopened the Opera Populaire and she is back to dancing – something about it being in her blood – or some such nonsense.

I told her about you, Erik, as much as I could without betraying your trust. She already knew a great deal, she is a very enterprising young woman; I only reiterated what she had already found out on her own.

I am glad to know that you have settled in and are working at what you love to do. It sounds as though you have some great people in London. Most of all, I am thankful that your name is getting credit for the music you write, the designs you make, and your art; you deserved that long ago.

Firmin is a constant bother; the man just will not stop pursuing me. I think he is a fine man and all, but his lack of musical knowledge and his idiotic partner are enough to drive any women to drink! I shall consider being courted, but that is all.

The opera house was not as damaged as was originally thought, the managers had it assessed and the damages were repaired in no time. The family de Changy continues to support the opera and we are thankful for that.

Erik, you need to know; Christine and Raoul married a couple of weeks after that night. She has tried to remain active in the opera productions, but she does not like the current material that is being performed – nothing is of the quality it was when you were here.

I am glad you have moved past your love for her, she is not what you need; she does not have the spirit and fire that you need. But you must know that she cares about you very much, and probably always will.

I miss you, do not think that I do not. The opera is suffering in your absence; I think all have realized just how much you were involved in the productions. Your work was never appreciated until you were no longer here – now they know just how many of the productions were written, choreographed, designed, and composed by you.

Well, I must go for now, I will await your next letter with an anxious heart.

God speed, Erik.

Annette

Letter from Erik Lacroix to Annette Giry.

September 13, 1873

London England

Dearest Annette,

I find myself amused at my own transformation. It is my belief that you would hardly recognize me for I have become quite civilized. Hard to believe, isn't it?

The unbelievable has happened. A young wisp of a girl has captured my heart – do not panic, Annette, I am not in love with her, nor she I – she tells me that she thinks of me more as a brother rather than a father; but either way, I do love her.

She is an orphan from Ireland and we just seem to have bonded. I trained her to be the new diva in the Italian Opera House where I have gained acceptance and recognition as a composer, designer, and artist. Her voice is like none I have ever heard.

She never feared me, although I gave her plenty of reasons. I was a bitter man when I found her wasting her talent in a tavern in the middle of Dublin. I barely gave her a choice when it came to coming with me; but she saw the opportunity to better her life and came willingly.

I have poured myself into her, molding and fashioning her into the star that I know she can be. However, I know that she is an individual and needs a life outside the opera house, so I make sure she has a social life – I will not make that mistake again.

I have not asked of late, how are things going with the bothersome Mr. Firmin? Have you allowed him to court you or do you have your female eye upon another?

And no, Annette, there is not – nor will there ever be – a love in my life, I have learned my lesson where matters of the heart are concerned; I shall not push myself upon another.

As for Christine caring about me, I think you are mistaken; the child feared me; especially after she found I was a man and not an angel or ghost. My ugliness prevents anyone from truly caring about me, I know this. Therefore, I take whatever feelings people manage to have for me.

I draw this letter to an end. I hope the coming Christmas season will be a good one for you. I will be celebrating my first Christmas in thirty years; not since the years with my mother have I had a reason to enjoy this season.

Yours,

Erik

Reply letter from Annette Giry to Erik Lacroix.

March 11, 1874

Paris France

Dearest Erik,

I realize that it has been a few months since my last letter; there has been so much happening around me – much of it has been difficult to take in.

It is with a bittersweet heart that I relay the following information to you. With it comes the knowledge that I, and many others that I know, have done you a great injustice. I have come to realize that you had no idea there was a warrant out for your arrest for the murder of Bouquet. You were probably as confused by our actions as we were by yours.

It has also come to our attention that you did not murder Piangi that night; for he has been found, alive and well; living not far from the opera house with Carlotta and their son; whose name seems to have escaped me.

What I am trying to say, and seem to be unable to blurt it out, is that I want you to come home, Erik. Paris has been your home for several years and I know that you miss it. You are a free man and I, for one, would really like to have you back. The opera in Paris has become dull and lifeless without you. You were the life blood that pumped through it.

There is much more to the story concerning Piangi, but I will not take the time to write it in this letter. I would much rather speak to you in person when you come back. You are coming back, yes? Your efforts on the night of the big fire have been heralded as heroic; for they now know that you saved the lives of many, as well as Christine's life.

There is so much that needs to be resolved between us – meaning you and many of the others that are awaiting your return. Forgive us for our narrow-minded grasp on reality, and come home Erik, please.

Always yours,

Annette

♠♥♣♦

Erik read the last letter with mixed feelings. How would he respond to that? He knew they had thought he murdered Piangi, but Bouquet? There was no way he could have traveled from the back of the opera house after calling Carlotta a toad and demanding box five be left empty, to the rafters over the stage to murder that swine of a man.

He had thought about it, the man was the lowest of the low; but murder was not part of who Erik was; he had killed many times in his past- had a great deal of blood on this hands – survival had been his top priority; but murder, that was different.

He wanted to tell Annette about Tarrah and his role as her guardian, but he did not want to lead her to believe that he was coming back to Paris, there were just too many bad memories associated with that city.

He needed to tell her other things, as well; however, she would expect an answer concerning his return. Erik laughed mockingly at his own uncertainty, he was allowing the part of him that he feared to take over, he had never allowed his fears to dominate, and he would not start now.

His eyes lifted from the letter to watch Tarrah enter the room and smile at him.

"News from Paris?"

Erik leaned back in the chair and stretched his muscles. His long legs were not accustomed to being folded under a desk for hours on end, but he was in the middle of a tremendous composition and he had only taken a break to read the letter from Annette.

"Yes, they request my presence…it seems the Phantom has been deemed a dark hero."

He did not sound overly enthused and Tarrah picked up on that quite quickly.

"Then why the wrinkled brow and scowl?"

He smiled lazily, a more common occurrence since Tarrah had come into his life. She seemed to look beyond the disaster that was his face and see the soul that rested within.

"I do not think I can go back there, Tarrah, there is just too much pain that still pulls at me when I think about what a fool I was and how close I came to giving into the darkness completely."

Tarrah rolled her eyes, went around to the back of him, and put her hands on his broad, tight shoulders. She leaned over and hugged his neck, giving him little chance to resist her embrace.

"You are such a pessimist and you make yourself appear older than you are…will you stop talking like you will never find love…it is really getting old."

Erik chuckled and put his large hands over her much smaller ones. He relished these moments of closeness; she touched him without revulsion or fear – he still wasn't used to it, but he yearned for it.

"Your vision of me is unique, Tarrah." He turned his head to look up into her dark, deep blue eyes. "And, just to clear things up, I am old."

"You are only as old as you feel." She remarked, rubbing her cheek against his lightly bearded cheek.

Erik reached up and tweaked her nose with his index finger.

"Then I must be a hundred and two!" he teased. "Besides, I do not wish to fall in love again, it just causes me pain."

Tarrah removed her arms from around him and sat precariously on the desk, swinging her legs like a small child.

"We do not have a choice about these things, Erik…" she hopped off the desk and started out the door, "…rest assured, doubting Thomas, there is love out there for you, and it will find you."

She left and Erik just shook his head with a curious smile on his face, she never failed to call him beautiful in some way, his exposed features, his muscular, lean form; his music, his eyes, his hands, his mind – it did not matter, she always found beauty in him.

He picked up his pen and began his reply to Annette…she would not be happy.

April 23, 1874

Annette,

Your letter was indeed one of good news; to be found innocent of crimes I never committed in the first place is quite an accomplishment on my part. Thank you for telling me. However, I will not return to Paris

I have made a life for myself here, and have taken on responsibilities I never thought to have; to leave them would be another failure among many in my life – I will not do it.

It is best for everyone involved if I stay away, we both know this. I am no longer in love with Christine; I forced that ridiculous notion out of me. Moreover, I can honestly say that I am no longer angry with Raoul – for the best man won her heart – the only man, really; for I doubt the world will ever see me as such.

There is little in my life for which I am proud, but in England, I have felt this unfamiliar stirring in my stone cold heart. There may be some reason in the future that will draw me back to Paris; but for now, I shall remain here.

Your friend,

Erik Lacroix

TBC