See Part One for disclaimer and details. A big thank you as always to everyone who has reviewed. Please keep it up, as not only am I a feedback junkie (praise or flames), there aren't going to be too many more chapters in the story after this one.
Part Six: The Sound Of One Hand Clapping
Osbourne residence, California
March 25th, 1999
Willow and Oz were in bed together due to a unique set of circumstances arising in this brave new world, circumstances which involved the jock known as Percy West getting exactly what he deserved. Even Principal Snyder had been unable to save him, not after Percy had threatened Willow if she didn't do what she was told in a conversation overheard by Wesley.
In his role as a guidance counselor, Wyndam-Pryce had told Snyder in the presence of faculty witnesses what he'd learned, and that had pretty much been all she wrote for the basketball player.
The witch and the werewolf were at Daniel's house, as they couldn't have sex at Willow's place. At least, not without Ira trying to kill Oz with a shovel if he ever discovered what the guy was doing with his daughter nowadays. Oddly enough, despite her friendship with Tara Willow hadn't fallen in love with her this time around. Given how the thought of cheating on Oz AGAIN was anathema, and the two femmes didn't see each other all that often, anyway.
"Hey. What's wrong?" Oz murmured as he gazed at Willow's distracted face.
"Nothing, I..." The young woman caught Oz's look and sighed. ( Darn. Guess I can't fool him about anything anymore. ) "It's Xander."
Oz nodded, unsurprised. "What he said two nights ago, it really got to you."
There was no point trying to deny the obvious. "I just never thought...Xander actually loves Cordy now? So much that he's willing to leave Sunnydale in order not to lose her, once she goes off to college? I never thought he'd do that."
"Guessing what that really means is, you never thought he'd be willing to leave YOU in order not to lose his girlfriend," Oz said softly with great insight.
Somewhat reluctantly, Willow nodded. "Xander and me, we've known each other for almost as long as I can remember. We always shared everything, Oz, and growing up, it was me, Xander and Jesse against Cordelia and all her groupies. I was the president of the 'We Hate Cordelia' club, Jesse was the secretary and Xander was the treasurer. But now Jesse's dead, and Xander...he's, he's defected to the enemy team!"
"People change as they grow up," Oz said, so amused that he almost made an expression. "And high school's gonna be over in a few months. Thinking that could have a played a role in his recent decision."
Willow looked unhappier than ever upon hearing this. "I guess. Well, I don't suppose you could be a good boyfriend, and, like, cheer me up somehow?"
Oz dived under the covers, and Willow soon gasped in unbridled pleasure.
There was a big difference between true love and being under a love spell; and at that moment, if anyone had asked her about the undead guy who had been her first, most likely Miss Rosenberg would have dazedly replied, "Spike who?"
Weatherly Park, Sunnydale
April 13th, 1999
The weeks passed and the days grew longer as the hot California summer slowly approached. The Sunnydale High students' lives were a mix of college applications, sports, homework and, on occasion, near-death hijinks as well. In the background Tara Maclay noticed her high school friends fret and wonder both about life after graduation, and just what sort of apocalypse they could expect Sunnyhell to serve up before the end of the school year.
After all, that there would be an apocalypse was as certain as the spring and fall equinoxes.
Buffy was on patrol with Faith, Angel and Wesley tonight. A short distance behind the Slayers, the British man was telling the Irish vampire that Drusilla had been terminated under his orders last year, but both females were too busy with their own conversation to hear Wes say it.
"B, you've got that look on your face again," Faith said warningly. Her Slayersense was on the lookout for any signs of trouble in the background.
"What? What look? I don't have a look, I'm look-free. Aren't I?" Buffy asked, her own Slayersense twitching.
"Can't fool me, y'know. You're thinking about the stud again, ain'tcha?"
Buffy released a small sound that was a combination of annoyance, frustration and despair. "It's just, I-I-I don't understand. How the hell did things ever end up like this? How did it get to the point where Xander would choose Cordelia over Willow and me?"
( Oh, yeah, this should be good. And what the heck were you expecting after that 'I just don't want you to get hurt' speech? ) Faith half-grinned to herself at her mystical sibling's concern.
"He ain't a puppy, B. And this isn't some kinda lameass competition thing you've got going against that girl, is it? I mean 'cause to the casual observer, it looks like you're thinkin' that she's stolen someone that belongs to you," Faith smiled wickedly.
Buffy shook her head, misunderstanding the subtext. "I don't feel that way about Xander, you know how Angel's the only one for me. But why can't he see how Cordelia is all wrong for him? Like, it's never gonna work out between those two. You mark my words about that, it's only a matter of time before they finally have one fight too many. Xander should be with...well, I dunno, someone better."
"Like who?" Faith's grin got even wider. "Me?"
Buffy glanced at the other Chosen One. "Well, he always did have a thing for Slayers. And I remember how Xander started drooling over you the first night we all met at the Bronze, especially with your naked alligator story. Just my opinion, but you'd have been perfect for one another."
Faith lost the smirk, becoming serious as they padded along. "Yeah, well, I've thought about it myself, ever since he said no to my little offer. But stealing him away from the cheerleader? I'd say it's too late for anything between us now except a bit of fun teasing him."
"It just strikes me as kinda funny, is all. You've been here in town for what, seven or eight months now? And none of the guys you've met in all that time were worth more than, y'know, a bit of fun?" Buffy asked.
Faith shrugged. "We're the Chosen Two, girl friend. Built-in expiry date, remember? We'll be damn lucky to make it anywhere near twenty-five. I'm not seein' any fat grandchildren in either of our futures, so I say we gotta get our fun while the ride's still going."
"Yeah, but-"
"In the name of Lord Balthazar, DIE!" one of El Eliminati screamed, the leather-clad and uniformed vampire rushing out of the shadows with his sword held high and a squad of his brethren right behind him.
Buffy grimaced as the battle began and she staked her first Eliminatus of the evening. These guys had been like weeds lately, expanding their numbers in the absence of a Master vampire to maintain the traditional sort of control over the fledglings and minions. Spike was around, granted, but the Scooby gang didn't know that. He was keeping well out of sight with his underground search for the Gem, so much so that the undead Englishman wasn't even doing his own hunting. William the Bloody was making do with bottled blood deliveries to maintain operational secrecy.
Thus, Balthazar remained the focus of Team Slayer. As far as Buffy was concerned, the commandant of El Eliminati definitely needed a major lesson in what it meant to annoy the Chosen One; and as soon as they could find his new lair, Miss Summers looked forward to teaching him personally.
Sunnydale High School Corridor, Sunnydale
The next day
"You shoulda seen it, Will," Buffy said excitedly. "It was awesome! So we're there in the park, and Faith has three of them coming at her at once. She totally kicks their asses, and Angel stakes one of the bad guys. Then Wesley comes in with this huge fighting axe and decapitates one of 'em, whoosh! Dust everywhere. Then this couple of scabby-looking demons show up behind him. Angel, Faith and I finish off the bloodsuckers, while Wes slices one of the mouth-less demons in half! Then I took care of the other one." Miss Summers scratched her wrist. "Itches a bit where I got splashed, though."
"Are you okay?" Willow asked as they stopped at her locker.
"Yeah. No big, just another problem for the good people at Lubriderm." Buffy looked down the corridor. "Uh-oh, here comes trouble..."
"Harmony, for God's sake. There's less than six weeks left till Graduation and the end of high school, and I'm sick and tired of maintaining appearances with the popular crowd. Come on, what does it all really matter now?" Cordy asked hopelessly as she, Xander and Harmony arrived within hearing distance of the Slayer and the witch.
The busty blonde's eyes were instantly huge. "Your popularity will spiral right back down the gurgler again. Cordelia, how can you even say something like that?"
"Because it's true?" Xander replied, his arm curling protectively around his girlfriend. "So just deal with the situation, Harmony. Or else."
( Was that a threat, you stupid pea brain? ) the natural blonde thought to herself. But before she could say anything, the girl was treated to the sickening sight of the social reject kissing her best friend. Even though it had been over a year, Harmony still couldn't stomach watching this. ( Ack! No!!! )
"Hey, Xander," the basketball player named Hogan Martin said from behind Harmony.
"Hogan. Great play the other night," Xander said politely after breaking the kiss.
"Thanks. So you're gonna be watching tonight's game, right?" Hogan asked.
"Wouldn't miss it, championship and all. Besides, I wanna be there to support our head cheerleader," Harris sent a brief grin to said brunette, who gave him a dazzling megawatt smile and light shove as well.
"There's a victory party planned for afterwards if we win. You're both gonna be there?"
"Of course!" Cordelia said at once. "Like that was ever a question!"
"What she said," Xander added.
"Cool. I'll tell the management committee," Hogan nodded. He quickly walked off after saying goodbye.
"Now that's a guy who's got some hops!" Xander commented.
"Jealous?" Harmony asked nastily.
"Swimming is more Xander's thing, actually," Cordelia answered in the same vein. "I thought you knew that. What with the way you used to drool over that picture of the junior year swim team that's stuck in your gym locker."
Harmony stalked off, her cheeks burning. Not far away, Willow and Buffy looked at one another in despair, having overheard the entire conversation and figuring that Xander Harris was now truly forever lost to the dark side of the Force.
Sunnydale High Lounge, Sunnydale
April 15th, 1999
"Can you believe it? Right at the buzzer! Three points for the win," Willow said excitedly as Oz, Tara and Faith followed the redhead into the student common area.
"It was intense. And I'm not even into basketball," Tara nodded. She had come along to the game by invitation and today she was here to see if she could borrow some books from Giles and Wesley, including their copy of "Hume's Paranormal Encyclopaedia". Miss Maclay also kept her eyes averted from Willow; Tara didn't want her to guess how she had fallen in love with Miss Rosenberg.
Some things were so inevitable that not even the Belial siphon spell could alter them.
"Sorry I missed it. Most fun I had last night was watchin' B mistake a dog for some kinda four-legged demon," the Slayer chortled.
"Man, I've never seen anyone jump like Hogan Martin. They should call him – the jumper," Willow suggested.
"That's already an article of women's clothing, Will," Oz told his girlfriend gently.
"Hey guys," Buffy joined the group. The others all gave greetings to her as well, and Willow noticed the blonde furiously scratching her hand. Miss Summers noticed her noticing and said, "Yeah, I know. I've seen Giles about it, but he's still looking into things."
"Gotta say, that whole aspect of the demon thing sucks," Faith added.
"What?" Tara asked in confusion. She was quickly brought up to speed on how the demon from the other night in the park could infect others with part of its being, and felt very shocked. ( Oh my God. Is that possible with me too? I just, I really wish I knew what sort of demon I'm eventually going to turn into. ) "Uh, I have to go. I, I'll see you all later..." The college freshman quickly turned around and left after saying her hasty goodbyes.
Cordelia's exasperated voice could subsequently be heard as she and Harris headed towards the Scooby gang. "Xander, I'm telling you for the last time. People were not staring at you during the party!"
"Well, it sure felt like it last night," Xander replied with a grumbling tone.
"I promise, they were all too busy celebrating the team's victory. I mean, that was an incredible game! I've never cheered so hard in my life! Last night was amazing. I still have all those marks on my back." Off his look, she quickly added, "From the pyramid, you dummy, not afterwards!"
"Hey, you two," Faith called out. The others apart from Oz were all looking too grossed out to say anything.
"Hi, Faith," Xander immediately replied. Cordelia just sent her a glance and a slight nod though. ( Damn it, Cordy, when are you and Faith ever going to become friends? ) Harris thought to himself with a mental sigh.
"Well, maybe you could try the double-date thing? That might help," Buffy replied distractedly. She had gotten over some of her issues with Cordelia after her talk with Faith in the park the other night.
The others all looked at her. "What?" the Summers girl asked, realizing she was the target of their stares.
"What are you talkin' about, B?" Faith asked curiously.
"Well, Xander said..." Buffy trailed off, quickly sensing something amiss. "You know, he was sorta wondering what he could do to make Faith and Cordelia become friends," she said uncertainly.
"No, he didn't say that," Willow said in confusion as Miss Chase sent a 'look' to her significant other.
"Yeah, but I thought it. Man, it's like you read my mind," Xander said curiously.
Summers residence, 1630 Revello Drive, Sunnydale
Later that night
That was, in fact, precisely what had happened. The whole mind-reading power slowly but surely began to increase in scope and ability as Miss Summers heard the thoughts of other people all around her. Unfortunately though, the demonic trait grew and grew until the point came where Buffy was overwhelmed by it and Giles took her home. Later a terrified Joyce could only watch helplessly as her baby girl became completely bed-ridden, all the voices in her head turning into a howling din of noise.
Drowning Buffy in pillows and extra blankets accomplished nothing but to get her arms tired. Fortunately for her sanity Joyce didn't know that Wes and Giles had learned how a man in Ecuador had recently suffered the same fate, said individual now in complete isolation and unable to communicate with anyone to prevent the telepathy from overwhelming and finally killing him.
Finally, after sunset Wesley and Angel arrived at the house together. "What's HE doing here?" Joyce demanded, staring at the one vampire she despised with all her being.
"Angel's here to help. Invite him in please, Mrs. Summers, we don't have much time left," Wesley said firmly as he barged into the house. "Or should I say, your daughter doesn't have much time left."
The Englishman's attitude grated on her nerves just like it had ever since day one, but the concern for Buffy took precedence. "I invite you in," Joyce said stiffly to the ensouled vampire.
Angel entered the house the moment he was able to and rushed upstairs to Buffy's side, his features drawn and haggard. "It's even worse than I thought," he muttered thickly.
The others, who had all followed him close behind, didn't disagree with that sentiment. "How do we fix this?" Joyce demanded.
"The good news is that there is a cure. But it involves obtaining the heart of the demon that infected her, or at least one of the same species, and essentially feeding it to her as a potion," Wesley replied, ignoring the mother's 'yuck' expression. "Unfortunately, however, both demons we encountered that night were killed, and there's no telling where we can find another one in the time Buffy has left before insanity or death sets in."
"So what do you suggest?" Joyce asked weakly.
"A stop-gap measure, for now anyway. Buffy can't hear Angel's thoughts according to my information. Therefore he'll have to take her some place far away, with no human contact until the Council informs me where another of those demons can be found-"
"Out of the question!" Joyce snapped out. "Buffy is not staying anywhere alone with HIM!" she gestured at Angel vindictively.
"Mrs. Summers," Wesley's voice grew hard and cold, attracting her attention. "Either we do this, or your daughter will die within the next day or so. Do you really want me to make the arrangements with the one of the local funeral parlours?"
"You unfeeling bastard, that's my little girl you're talking about!" Joyce screamed at him.
"Then wake up, you fool woman!" Wesley yelled back at her, startling the middle-aged female. "You know the truth about this world now! You know how magic and demons and curses are all real. They're NOT something that'll go away, no matter how hard you care to pretend otherwise. And now your child's life is in deadly danger. We've no time for your prejudices in this matter, and if necessary I'll order Angel to take Buffy and leave. Do you understand? I swore an oath to safeguard my Slayers to the best of my ability, and I'll be damned if I let you get in the way of that!"
Joyce stared at him open-mouthed, and Giles touched her on the shoulder. "I'm afraid he's right," he told his ex-lover sadly. "I'm sorry, Joyce, but there really is no other option. Not right now, anyway."
Joyce began to cry, tears leaking from her eyes. But the blonde woman said through her sniffles, "All right. Take her."
"I know a place in the Sierra Nevada," Angel spoke up. "It's way out in the middle of nowhere; if I hurry, we can be there before sunrise-"
"Tell Mr. Giles where it is. He'll be accompanying you both, at a minimum safe distance of course," Wesley interrupted him after making a command decision.
"What?" the other three chorused.
"As stated, we've no other choice in this matter. But that doesn't mean I trust you alone with Miss Summers any more than her mother does," the Watcher said to Angel with brutal honesty. "Past history is not in your favour, so you'll report to Mr. Giles every twelve hours during this crisis. Failure to do so even once will be taken as a de facto announcement that you've lost your soul again. Under such circumstances, you'll become persona non gratis and eventually be taken care of. Have I made myself clear?"
Angel just stared at the Watcher, then he nodded silently. ( Joyce was right about you, you cold-hearted sassenach. And don't think I've forgotten about Drusilla either. That duty was mine alone. )
"My job at the school..." Giles started to say hesitantly, then he shrugged. "...is completely irrelevant, right now."
"Indeed. I'll inform Principal Snyder of your 'family emergency' first thing in the morning, and take over your duties in the library until you get back. Hopefully, the evil hobgoblin can be persuaded not to simply fire you out of hand," Wyndam-Pryce shrugged as well. ( It shouldn't be too hard for me to act as both the school's librarian and guidance counselor for a while. Or at least I hope so, anyway. )
"We really should get going," a worried Angel looked at Buffy again. "We're burning moonlight even as we speak."
There was nothing left to say, really. Joyce quickly packed a few things for her child, then Buffy and Angel left in Wesley's car as Giles' Citroen followed them five minutes later. Wesley and Joyce watched him leave, before the Watcher politely said good night and headed back towards his own home on a newly purchased motorcycle.
Sunnydale High, Sunnydale
April 16th, 1999
Xander was feeling troubled that lunchtime. Wesley had informed the entire group early in the morning that Buffy had left with Angel and Giles in order to save her life, and that it might be a while before she returned. The telepathy thing had become so deadly that only the vampire's presence could be tolerated anymore.
The reactions had been rather varied: Willow had been shocked at losing her best friend like this; Oz had been similarly shocked, even though no one could tell from the look on his face; Faith had looked worried about the white hats losing two of their heavy hitters (two and a half if you included Giles), and that the Slayage was now all completely up to her. But Cordelia had merely accepted the news calmly and honestly stated that she hoped Buffy got better soon, despite some looks that had earned her.
( That's my girl. Despite the way we still fight now and then, Cor never ceases to surprise me, ) Xander thought to himself fondly as he headed for the cafeteria. ( And yeah, I hope Buffy gets better soon too. I just wish that Deadboy wasn't hiding out alone with her like that. I'm pretty sure that if it was me and Cordy under those circumstances, we'd have gotten naked together less than thirty seconds after the front door slammed shut. )
Weeks of regularly getting laid had definitely had an impact on the young man's thought patterns nowadays, that was certain. In fact things were so serious with his girlfriend that, not long ago, Xander had met with Cordelia's parents. Just like Oz with the Rosenberg's Xander had expected to have to defend himself against a lot of questions, like what sort of future a guy like him could offer their daughter, as well as a possible assault charge. Harris had also anticipated a lot of ass kissing in order to get those two not to simply reject his presence in Cordelia's life out of hand.
But strangely, during the meeting both Mr. and Mrs. Chase had acted nervous and distracted instead. There had been no police interrogation, no subtle cutting remarks about the Harris family reputation and about him personally. Later in private Cordelia had been overjoyed, thinking her parents were finally treating her like an adult and respecting her ability to make her own choices. But somehow, the pessimist in Xander Harris couldn't believe that.
Something was up with Cordy's mom and dad. Most likely, something not of the good.
At that moment, Amy Madison bumped into Xander. As he righted himself from the slight collision, the high school senior was shocked by her appearance. The brunette witch looked like she was completely stoned. "Amy?"
"Xander," she purred. Amy took a big sniff. "You smell gooood."
Unfortunately, the young woman had cast a 'my will be done' spell on herself last night, and her eyes now crackled blue for a second. Her magic then unleashed the hyena's sense of smell, a leftover from the Primal spirit possession Xander had undergone back in sophomore year.
Michael Czajak quickly came up and grabbed Amy away from Harris. "Sorry about this, I'll take care of her-"
"Amy, are you doing drugs?" Xander demanded of the brunette girl, his question startling Michael enough that Miss Madison was able to lurch away again. So he focused on the warlock, "'Cause I've seen that look before, pal. What is it, speed? Angel dust?" Xander's eyes narrowed. "You're not giving her roofies, are you?"
"She's not on drugs!" the other male teenager snapped. He fought down the urge to use his powers on Xander, which had significantly increased thanks to Rack and a number of mystical rituals Michael had performed on himself. "Amy's...uh, it's complicated."
"So, I'm listening," Xander replied, while watching Miss Madison slide down a nearby wall to collapse on her ass.
A sigh. "There's this guy called Rack downtown; I took her to his place a while back. He's a warlock, he knows lots of spells. Powerful ones that last for days. But Amy's been going there on her own a lot lately," Michael confessed, his white painted face and black lipstick not hiding his inner worry. "I, I think she's become a magic addict. And I'm not sure what I can do to help her."
"Sweet mamalooshin! Uh, okay, talk to Willow and Tara about this, and when he gets back, Giles too," Xander said firmly as Amy shoved her way up the wall to her feet again. "They'll know what to do. Or they can help you figure out what to do, anyway."
Michael didn't reply, he just nodded and went over to collect his secret crush to hustle her away as Principal Snyder appeared not far down the corridor. Xander took the hint and left as well.
His sense of smell having become much sharper, Xander noticed a foul odor the moment he walked into the school cafeteria. Following his nose, the young man hurried into the kitchen where he saw the obese lunch lady standing over a cooking pot and pouring in the contents of a big box labeled 'Rat Poison'.
( Oh shit. The food, she's poisoned the food! I always knew this would happen one day! ) Xander turned around and ran as the woman glanced around and saw him. The lunch lady dropped the box and grabbed a butcher's knife, quickly following him.
"RAT POISON! RAT POISON!" Xander screamed as all the students stared at him. Harris ran around the room, knocking a bunch of trays off the various tables and trying to save the lives of the innocent. "The lunch lady, she's gone nuts! DON'T EAT THE FOOD!"
The woman in question burst out from the kitchen doors, butcher knife in hand. Panic spread like an airborne virus as all the students quickly ran for it. When she finally cornered Xander, the lunch lady pulled her arm back to deliver the killing blow for foiling her scheme.
Faith clamped her hand on the woman's wrist at the last moment, preventing her from completing the swing. "Okay, chill, ya crazy bitch."
"Vermin! You're all vermin. You come in here, and you eat, eat, eat. You leave your mess everywhere. Filth!" the clinically insane school employee screamed semi-incoherently.
"Yeah, I ain't seein' this being able to be settled with logic," Faith said philosophically. Quickly lowering the homicidal lunatic's arm, her Slayer-strength kick sent the butcher knife flying across the room to clatter harmlessly on the floor. Then Miss Lehane easily knocked the lunch lady out cold.
"Good thing I never was much for something like that."
Blessed Memories Cemetery, Sunnydale
April 24th, 1999
The 'my will be done' spell hadn't lasted long, even less time than Michael's 'be all you can be' spell in fact, and Xander went back to normal after Amy undid her mojo. It was obvious the young woman had developed a serious problem, and she wasn't letting anyone in to help either.
But that wasn't what Harris was thinking about right now. The young man's mind was on the late Jonathan Levinson, who had committed suicide at the school with a rifle on the very same day the 'normal guy' of the group had saved all those students in the cafeteria.
Xander stared down at Jonathan's grave sadly. Just like Willow, Cordelia and Amy, he had known the short nerd ever since kindergarten. And yet, they had never really connected. The teenager was suddenly reminded of the last time he and Jonathan had actually had a real conversation; the day he'd first met Tara at UC Sunnydale, all those months ago.
( Why'd you do it, Jonathan? ) Xander asked himself, and not for the first time. ( I know we can't save everyone, I told Buffy as much that night with Theresa Klusmeyer. But this...this didn't have to happen, dude. 'Cause your parents are practically brain-dead now, you know? I mean, Willow told me how what you did is majorly against their religion. Did you even stop to think about that? How killing yourself would affect them that way? )
Xander suddenly felt a warm hand slip into his. "I wasn't expecting to find you here," Cordelia's voice murmured.
"Yeah. It's just...I knew him, Cordy," Xander exhaled, still looking straight ahead. "And Jonathan killed himself practically at the same time that crazy lunch lady almost killed me. If Faith hadn't shown up when she did, we'd have both gone off into the afterlife together, hand in hand almost."
Cordelia immediately felt an icy stab of fear at the thought of losing her boyfriend and lover. ( No way, that is NOT going to happen. There's only a few more weeks to go, and after Graduation I'll drag us both away from the Hellmouth so damned fast it'll cause whiplash! ) In reply though, Cordy said, "Do you remember back in junior year, one time I actually went out on a date with him? It was right after that whole frat boy demon snake thing, a few weeks before we kissed in Buffy's basement. Musta been the highlight of Jonathan's life, like literally."
"I remember," Xander nodded slowly. "And he was always there, wasn't he? At school or at the Bronze. But nobody noticed him, not even me most of the time, and I'm almost as much of an outcast geek as he was. I shoulda seen this coming, I should have-"
Cordelia silenced him with a deep kiss, and then a slap upside the head. "What was that for?" Xander asked, rubbing the sore spot.
"Being an idiot and blaming yourself for something that's not your fault," Tact Girl said bluntly. "You didn't know. You couldn't have known. Besides which, you had to save lives and become a hero at the time. Plus, your lameness factor has significantly decreased ever since junior year, y'know, dating me pretty much guaranteed it. I'm not saying you're popular or anything, but you're not at the same level as Jonathan or my insane-o invisible stalker from way back when. You never were, either."
"And I think that about 66 percent of that was actually a compliment. Gotta be a new record," Xander instinctively joked.
"Then don't make me regret it, you dope." With that, Cordelia took her boyfriend's hand again and led him out of the cemetery. After all, it was a Saturday and she could think of a lot more pleasant things for them to do than hang around here.
TBC...