Disclaimer: Don't own, except Blowdryer and Doe...

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...Chapter Four...

- USS Blowdryer:

'Captain's Log, Stardate: 555-9277
Unfortunately, doctor Crusher hasn't managed to get my finger out of my nose just yet.
I'm having the meeting with Will right about now. For some reason the Senior Officers insisted on being there also. I'm hoping he is thinking about a suitable woman for me… Ah, I'm walking into the conference room right now.'

BAF

'Strange. The doors didn't swoosh open as they usually do. I have to talk to Geordi about that…'

"Swoosh"
'Someone knocked? Oh it's you, Captain.'

William T. Riker, Captain of the USS Titian, stood in the doorway.

'What are you doing on the floor? You don't know where it's been!
My God! Why do you have your finger up your nose? You… don't know… where it has been…'
'No time to explain, Will.' Picard said as he tried to get up with only one free hand.

Riker let him struggle for a while, but finally assisted in getting him up.

'Ah, thank you Riker. Shall we proceed with the meeting?'
'Of course, Picard, everyone's already waiting.'

They entered the conference room where the Senior Officers of the Blowdryer already sat.
A special couch had been brought in, and on it was Deanna Troi-Riker, lying on her side eating grapes.

'Ah, Deanna. Good to see you again. Will hasn't been spoiling you, has he?' Picard said.
'Captain!' Deanna almost choked on her grape.
'Your nose!'
'What? What's the matter with my nose? Good lord, woman, speak!'
'Nothing… It's just getting a little purple-ish…' Deanna said.
'Ah. Well, I fear my collision with the door jammed my finger further in. It is quite uncomfortable indeed. Bit painful.
Anyway, speaking of the doors, Geordi…' Picard said.
'I'll get right on it, Captain!' La Forge said, however he did not rise from his seat, or even move.
'Good. Alright then. Shall we focus our attention on finding me a girl, then?' Picard said as he sat down.
'Will, what do you have in mind?'
'Ah, pay attention, Captain.' Riker said as he came forward.

He took position next to a view-screen and tapped a button.
A video began playing, with its main feature being barely-clothed women from various planets.

'What do you prefer Jean-Luc? The classic Orion-slave girl?' Riker asked, as dancing green-skinned women appeared on the screen.
'Sensual Trill-women, perhaps?' He continued as the Trill on the screen caressed their spots in a seductive manner.
'Or the popular Risian triplet?' Riker suggested as three identical beautiful women appeared on screen, blowing kisses at the viewer.
'And if that's not to your liking, we could always swing by Ferenginar…' Riker said, somewhat disgusted, as a naked Ferengi-woman took the place of the Risian triplet…
'No, nooooo, shut off the view-screen, Nr 1!' Picard said, his eyes closed in horror.
'Hey, he's not your Nr 1, I am!' Commander Madden said.

Picard shot him a dirty look, which looked quite comical with his finger stuck up his nose, but did not comment.

'We should go to Risa, Captain!' Geordi said.
'Have you seen the women? They're so fine! With their big bouncy… well you know. And those succulent juicy… well, you get my drift. Please Captain, can we go? Can we go, can we go, can we go?'
'La Forge, you need to get away from the dilithium crystals…' Riker said, eying him strangely.
'Shut up, Nr 1…' Picard said thoughtfully
'I'm thinking… I'm thinking I agree with Geordi.'

He tapped his comm-badge.

'Bridge!'
'Yes Captain?'
'Set a course for Risa!'
'Uhm… I'd love to, but can't, Captain.'
'What? Who the hell is this?'
'Ensign Doe, Captain.'
'You again? Don't tell me everyone's off to watch Alf !'
'No, they're all here, sir, but they hmf! Hmm, hmmfmm!'
'What? What was that? Doe? Doe, respond!'

Silence.

'Oh the hell with it!' Picard said.
'Come, we're going to the bridge!'
'Uhm, is it ok if I return to my own ship?' Riker said.
'What? Of course not! Bore someone else with your stupid questions, and follow me!
No! Not you, Madden! You stay behind and… I don't know, pleasure Deanna Troi or something. The rest, come with me!'

BAF!

'Aaw, Goddamn… Geordi! Fix those doors!'

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A/N: Review!