Chapter 2
I teach her how to cook, I love to cook, but I see, that the fun is one-sided. We are in the kitchen, she cuts onions, she is not pleased. I pull her to me, she tries to open her eyes. I lick her tears, which slowly run her cheeks down, she tastes delicious; salty tears are mixed with the taste of her skin and face lotion. Every juice of her body must be delicious. We will move soon, I think to Buenos Aires. It is safe there, for me and for her, for us. Clarice, you and me, we belong together. Do you believe in destiny?
Hannibal is eager to teach me everything; he is forming and educating me. We began to train speaking and reading without accent for a better cover of my identity, he gives me piano lessons and since yesterday how to cook a decent meal. His warm and wet tongue follows the moist path which some tears left on my face. He holds me in his arms, I love his body heat. I never had such an experience since my dad died. He was the last one who took me in his arms. I feel cared. His arms are so strong. I feel his erection pressed against my belly. He is turned on when I suffer, or because I hold a knife. I know he wants more, but he never forces me, not yet. Such a gentleman, he waits that I make the first move. I am not ready. I need my power for my little secret.
We ate in silence, she avoids my conversation. Clarice, why can't you look to my face? She needs her next shot of drugs, she looks depressed and introspective. We will sleep separate, I give her space and allow her privacy. She is slow while building her palace. Why does she hesitate? What makes her take so much time to build a room after another? She has a small palace. She calls it 'my dirty, little country cabin'. Clarice, let me help you, but you have to let me inside your head for this, again. I sit on my piano and play for you the Goldberg Variations, which you like so much.
I am in my spacious bed and I am alone. I feel lonely and cold. The loneliness gives me the opportunity to build my second palace. I have build the basement and the first floor of the Hoover Building. It is an ugly thing, but I love it. The Lutheran home is build next to the left wing of the Hoover Building. I walk through Crawfords tidy office, open a second door, it is made of heavy oak and as a girl, I had to push it with all my strength, but now, all I need is my imagination and I enter my Lutheran home. Sister Mary is sitting on a bare wooden chair and reads the bible. Hannibal gave me drugs instead of a good night kiss, that helps me to relax and float, I am a floating engineer of my second palace. Now, I float back the way I came and I am in the basement where my office is, which I call the 'Cave of the Cannibal'. His files are with his many bloody evidence pictures of his crimes on my desk. My computer shows the ten most wanted and he is looking evilly towards me. When I leave my office, there is on the end of the corridor the little lambs and horses farm I lived for a short time. Hannah is waiting there for me. I am tired.
I am in my bed and I am thinking. Clarice needs another hypnosis session, though she said, she doesn't want these anymore. She blocked me out in our last encounter. She build up a wall I could not pass. Clarice, do not make me use violence to enter your mind. You need me, I need a place in her for my Mischa, and I insist. She told me, that I could gave her a place in me. I could, but I don't want. Mischa needs a place in a woman's body. Clarice, you and Mischa, you could be friends. She is very lovely. And she will be my accomplice. Mischa will tell me if something is wrong with Clarice. Clarice is like my little caterpillar, I nourish her, I teach her new ways to think, new dimensions to explore, but she is unpredictable. Only time will tell, what will emerge out of her mind. My naked erection is pressed against the smooth cotton blanket…Oh Clarice…
M.