Chapter Three- Wakey Wakey (Unwell)

(( I'm not c r a z y, I'm just a little u n w e l l ))

"- took a nasty bump on the head."

Sora groaned faintly as he began to regain consciousness. What had happened? Slowly, he reached up and touched a very large, very sore lump on his forehead.

"... Is he waking up?"

"Yeah. You'd better leave, Troy, you're liable to scare him into another faint. You too, James."

The person speaking was a woman, Sora understood; the one who'd spoken before her was a man. Okay, great, so his mind wasn't totally fried yet. He heard the shuffling footsteps of two people leaving. As soon as they were gone, he groaned louder and sat up, holding his head.

"What... happened to me...?" Slowly, he opened his eyes, feeling a cold shock envelop him as the dimly-lit cavern greeted his gze. It wasn't just a nightmare, then. Suddenly remembering that someone was nearby, he tried to leap to his feet, intending to run. After all- these people were dead.

He'd no sooner staggered upright than he heard a muttered curse. At the same time, his feet were kicked out from under him. He landed on his back. Hard.

"OW!"

Gritting his teeth, he struggled to prop himself up on his elbows, glaring at the offending person. He was surprised to see that the woman, despite being, well... minus a heartbeat... looked fine. No severed head, no butcher knives, no broken neck... nothing.

She smiled at him. No fangs. Even more disarming. Warily, he sat up straight.

"Are... are you dead?"
"As a doornail."

He shivered. "Where am I? What happened to me?"

The woman pursed her lips and folded her arms, looked unmistakably incensed. "My... friends... gave you a rather overenthusiastic welcome. You hit your head. I think you're all right, though. Name's Kaya. Yours?"

Sora stared at her a little mistrustfully. "Sora. You still haven't answered my other question, though. Where am I?"She blinked. "Haven't I? Sorry, my mind wanders. Uh... welcome to the Land of the Dead, kid."

Sora tilted his head (and instantly wished he hasn't as the bump on his head began to throb painfully). "You mean the Underworld, right? In Greece?"

Kaya stared. "Underworld? What's that? You're one weird kid," she added, laughing. Sora, however, was not nearly so amused. On the contrary- he felt a fresh wave of panic rising in him.

"The Underworld! You know- Hades runs it? It's in Greece? Hercules had to go there once to save his girlfriend?"

"Uh... no? This is the Land of the Dead. Populations: infinite. Run solely by Death. Home of the LotD Zombinis, the only major league baseball team on this plane. Endsville."

Sora got to his feet, shaking. "But... why am I here? How did I get here? I was out for a swim, and then suddenly I'm in this place! This isn't right, I'm supposed to be at home right now! I'm late for dinner!" he added, stomping his foot. Kaya giggled, making him stop abruptly. "What's so funny?"

"It's been ages since I've seen someone throw a temper tantrum," she snickered, jerking her thumb over her shoulder at a few more fires near the far wall where other presumably dead people were sitting around. "Those guys have the emotional ranges of teaspoons."

Sora ignored her. "Look- I'm not supposed to be here. I have to go home. Is there any way for me to talk to the guy that runs this place? I want to catch a gummi ship outta here, right now."

Kaya considered him for a moment. "We-e-ell... Death doesn't talk to just anyone..."

Sora snorted. "Yeah, well, neither did Hades, and I ended up fighting with him."

Suddenly the woman looked faintly interested. "You can fight? Really? With what?"

Sora shrugged and held out his hand. He was halfway through his third attempt at calling the Keyblade before he finally gave up. "Okay, so it's not working right now. The point is that I need to talk to this Death guy right now. I'm the only living person here- that's gotta have some kind of priority, right?"

He started to pull his hand back, but Kaya grabbed it, sliding her hand down to his wrist and stopping. Sora attempted to pull away. "What're you do-"

"Shh. Sit still for a second, will you?" She glared at him briefly before returning her gaze to where she was gripping his wrist. After a moment, she let go, raising her eyebrows at him. "Hmm..." Nonchalantly, she snapped her fingers, ignoring the startled look on Sora's face as a clipboard and a sheaf of papers appeared in her hand; part of the title on the top page was obscured by her thumb, but Sora could see that the first word was "Recently." Kaya flipped to a section marked "D," then looked up at him. "You said you went swimming, right?"

Sora nodded, bemused. Kaya began mumbling to herself, running her finger down a line of names. "S... S... S... ah, here we go. Sora."

He jerked and stood up straight, blinking in surprise. "Huh? I'm on your list?" A faint inkling of worry was beginning to grow in the back of his mind. "What list is that?"

Kaya smiled- not that it made him feel any better. "Recently Deceased. Make yourself at home, Sora, my friend. You're dead."

(( I k n o w, right now you c a n ' t tell ))

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Author's Note: Okay, so if I were in Sora's shoes (not they'd fit, the boy's feet are gigantic...), this would be the point where I'd fly into an irreversible panic, and God help anyone who got in my way. xD Anyway. You know what to do, guys. Read, review... be nice... xDDDDD