KAKRANG
the elevator came to a stop at the top floor of the Warehouse Castle

Fingerling swung round on the girl's intestines and lighted on a platform to his side, "hmm, he said, this Cancerhead is trickier than I thought."

"YEEEESS!!" the crackling voice of Cancerhead came crackling over the crackling intercom. "And your tests are not over yet, Walter "Topsy Kretts" Sparrow" for I have many cards up my sleeves, and I am like David Cooperfield, when I shoot these cards out of my sleeves they will become doves and fly into the rafters and then I will make the Statue of Liberty disappear!"

"So, that's your plan..." Fingerling growled and stamped his foot on the groaning ground, "I WON'T LET YOU TOUCH LADY LIBERTY!!!!"

"Indeed," Cancerhead said calmly, "But first you must overcome my challenges! This is how the game works, and I am the merry gamester with cancer! Despair, Walter Sparrow! You are paying for your sins in killing the men of the Baron! This is TRIBUTE to him! Now you will know the powers of Darkness that sustain me even in my cancer-riddled state; Walter Sparrow, your day of reckoning is come, and at the end of the day after you've done exercising and brushed your teeth, you will bow down as an obedient servant to my Lord and Master, the King of Darkness, the Master of the Void, Baron Latos! On your knees, worm, and beg his mercy on your behalf! When you killed his men, you insulted my Lord directly, and so I punish you on his behalf! Yet after your sins are purged, you shall join us in the reign of Darkness that is to come! Now, Walter Sparrow, show me what you are capable of! Show me what you are willing to do to survive! SHOW ME YOUR TRUE SELF, WALTER SPARROW! SHOW ME THE DEPTHS OF DEPRAVITY TO WHICH THE HUMAN SOUL IS CAPABLE OF DESCENDING! WALTER SPARRRRRROOOOOOOW!!!!"

Suddenly the Warehouse Castle began to shake and shimmy like Little Richard or The Big Bopper, and a sound like thunder and a light like lightning happened and then slowly Walter Sparrow saw a shadow rising in the mists of darkness before him. He approached with a steely resolution. It was a white container with a circular door. To the right of the container was a pile of clothes, and next to that, two bottles filled with sweet-smelling liquid.

"I'd like to play a game." Cancerhead intoned from his speaker-existence. "What are you willing to subject yourself to, Walter Sparrow? Will you even do my laundry? Doesn't that make you sort of like a woman? Do you really want to be a woman? Isn't that kind of degrading? You would be like my wife. Are you a homo or something? Here's the deal though, the bleach and detergent, if you put in too much of either, poison gas escapes and strangles you. If you put in too little, it explodes and kills you.

Walter Sparrow looked at the task before him and screamed, this was too much. "Cancerhead!" he yelled, "why do't you come out and fight me like a man with cancer who is in a wheelchair? Are you ascared?"

"PLAY MY GAME WALTER SPARROW BWAHAHAHAHA!!!" said Cancerhead, and the intercom clicked off.

Walter had had enough, he was through playing these dumb my little pony games, he picked up the detergent and bleach and poured them all down into the wash. With a SWOOSH, Poison Gas jumped out of the washer door and nearly cut off his head.

"I AM POISON GAS," Poison Gas said, "THE FIRST OF BARON LATOS' FOUR GENERALS OF THE TRIBE OF DARKNESS. YOU WILL FALL AT MY BLADE FINGERLING"

Poison Gas ran about the room with his ninja quickness and nobody could see him cuz he was a ninja, he circled Walter laughing badly and occassionally he would strike at Fingerling with his blade forged from ugliness and evil and then he would go underground and pop up in a different place because ninjas can do that, and occassionally he would turn into smoke because ninjas can do that and teleport behind Fingerling because ninjas can teleport.

"You're too fast! but you're not fast enough!" Fingerling yelled in anger at the stealthy ninja who was flipping himself from wall to wall throwing throwing stars at him, Fingerling shook rattled and rolled out of harm's way. Poison Gas moved in behind him with silence cuz he was wearing sneakers (that's what they're for is sneaking) but Fingerling wasn't fooled by his ninja ways. He took his penknife and jabbed it into Poison Gas' eye and his eye exploded into an explosion of blood that poured out of his eyehole that was there where his eye used to be but it wasn't anymore because it got stabbed to death and disappeared and blood was shooting out of his eye hole like a firehose was inside his head, a firehouse filled with blood that was putting out fires not with water, but with blood.

Wordlessly the Ninja smoke teleported in front of Fingerling, and Fingerling tried to kick his ass but it was an illusion, the real Poison Gas was behind him still, and Poison Gas took a garrote and started strangling Fingerling, but he was having none of it so what he did was he launched himself in the air, right, holding onto the garrote, and he did like a somersault over Poison Gas and behind him so now the garrote was on the other neck!!! All Poison Gas' elite ninja skills of the Tribe of Darkness could not help him escape Fingerling's crazy insanity and he strangled him to death, he stangled him so hard that his head popped off!!!

"I'll be taking this" Fingerling said as he took the head with his hands, "I'll show this to Cancerhead and see if he doesn't get scared that I'll rip off his cancerhead!"

DING! the washing machine was done, but Cancerhead's clothes were ruined. The door to continue opened silently with a creak...