The Thing That Breaks Him

"EJ, please, tell me."

"I guess I have no say in this. He shouldn't have told you", EJ squeezed his eyes shut trying to hold back the tears and swallow down the lump in his throat.

"Who? Stefano. He didn't, not exactly. He gave me the letter he intended to give you after the party but you ran away before he had the chance", her words startled him.

"How do you know that?" EJ gulped.

"I was there. You were in too much of a hurry to notice." Sami saw EJ throw his head back just to hide his eyes from her. She feared that he would never again meet her gaze.

"Yes, I believe what Santo wrote to be true. I don't doubt my fathers word."

"EJ please, look at me", Sami begged in vain.

"I thought you wanted nothing to do with me. You've made it very clear, so why should I assent?" he asked. Sami didn't have the answer so she tried to reach him in another way:

"You are hurting right now and I can understand that. You can't do this alone."

"You don't know what I feel. Not even when I tried to tell you and certainly not now. Santo may be my biological father but Stefano is the only father I've ever know. No he wasn't there always for me but when he was, he was a father."

"EJ, Stefano sees the future in you. You are his hope for a better tomorrow."

"I'm a blight. I managed to ruin it all and taint everything good."

"You know that's not true. EJ, you didn't ruin everything", Sami took his face in her hands. He was still avoiding looking at her. EJ took her hands in his and forced her to break the contact.

"Look, soon as we will find out for sure who the father of your baby is this uncertainty ends. If it's Lucas, you'll never see me again and if I'm the father. I'll find a way to be part of his or her life without being part of yours", EJ promised with an agonized expression on his face.

He gave the flashlight to Sami before moving across the room and standing up. Suddenly he pulled himself up and disappeared to the roof. Sami rushed to catch him but when she emerged from the skylight she saw EJ dropping down from the side of the roof. She was too shocked to even scream. Just as she was about to dare to go and see what had happened to EJs body she head voices from inside. Turned out that EJ had climbed down and inside through a window to get back to the attic door and to open it. Sami watched in silence as he took the letters and put them back to chest and closed the lid. EJ held out the chest waiting for Sami to take it. He spoke with a gentle voice.

"Take it Samantha. Take the letters, have them translated and tell your family what happened. I'm sure you'll find a way to end the feud between our families, without me."

"So you are still leaving?" Sami held the chest tightly.

"Yes, I'm coming back to hear the results of the paternity test when ever you choose to have it done. Other than that, this is goodbye."

Sami couldn't control herself. She was getting emotional again because of the pregnancy and the hormones, she told herself. What ever the reason was the tears were real as was her strangled goodbye to him.

He had to get away. He had to leave and go to the end of the world and try to lose himself. He couldn't stay here and watch Samantha built a new happy life for herself. That was something she deserved to have and to do in peace. It had been hard enough to finally find the truth about his own paternity but to have her know it too was overwhelming. For the first time he was ready to pray that the baby wasn't his. As much as EJ loved Samantha he had to find a way to let her go for good. This game was wearing him out and he didn't want to play any more.

EJ ran down the stairs like he hadn't had an accident only hours earlier. He was trying to escape but Tony had seen him:

"Did you have a pleasant treasure hunt?"

"Was it you? Did you lock us up there?" EJ turned to focus his anger and frustration to Tony.

"I don't have the faintest idea of what you are talking about?"

"Sure you do. I'm leaving now Tony. Take care of father, he isn't as well as he acts", EJ said.

"I remember hearing you promising that before and here you are", Tony laughed lightly.

"Goodbye Tony."

"Aren't you going to tell me the secret you are hiding before you leave?"

"What secret?" acting oblivious was EJs best weapon against Tony's questions.

"Little brother, what do you take me for? A fool? I'm not a fool."

"I never said you were Tony. Look, it's a harmless lie that served a purpose at one point of time. When father needed to hide my identity he let others think that I was actually your son, not his. We both know that's not the case so why to wallow in it. Just forget it and let go. You'll have more important things to do. Keep an eye on Benji now that I'm gone. He wont let you follow father as the head of the family without a fight. And remember that he has a lot more to lose than you do."

"That's simply ridiculous", Tony protested.

"Is it? Is it really?" EJ asked and stared down at his foster brother. Tony didn't want to believe him but his future depended on it. EJ had done all that he could without destroying himself in the process. He walked out of the room and out of the mansion without looking back. He sat down in his car and drove away. All he had now was the first love of his life and the road. This race he started was a race against himself and there was no hope of winning it.