Title: Harry Potter and the Yaoi Doujinshi
dis: not mine
warnings: male x male, sexual innuendo, crude lanuage, and suggestive dialogue. ((sounds like a porn flick. lol)
Chapter 3
"Mr.Potter, Mr.Weasley," Snape's silken voice interrupted their doujinshi viewing pleasure. Harry and Ron gulped audibly, feeling their dooms would be very, very soon. "Might I remind you that smut magazines are not allowed in this school. 40 points for your inability to adhere to the rules." Snape grabbed the doujinshi, not bothering to look at the drawings.
"NO!" Harry cried but it was too late. Snape was already leaving. Harry buried his head into his hands. "Oh Merlin! He's going to look at it later and end up killing us! He'll think we're a bunch of perverts! OH MY GOD! This is not happening to me! I DO NOT FANCY BOYS!"
The ENTIRE Great Hall went silent. Most students were shocked, a few had pleased expressions on their faces. (Like that of the gay boys who want Harry's magic wand. Wink.) Ron turned bright red and averted his attention from the oggled Harry. Finally, Hermione rose to her feet and drew her wand. "Oh quit staring you bunch of stupid prats!"
Everyone knew better than to tangle with Hermione so, breakfast resumed with lots of gossip. Draco was nudged in his ribs by Blaise, the boy with a perverted, giddy grin highlighting his aquiline features. Draco shoved him aside roughly. "Honestly, can't you do more than lust over that ugly fool?"
Blaise snorted. "That wasn't what you were saying last night." Draco's eyes widened in alarm. "I quote you on this. Oh Harry, suck it harder. Make use of that delicious mouth and swallow me-" Draco clamped his hands on Blaise's mouth, the boy having earned giggling fits from those closest.
"Do. Not. Repeat. That." Draco gritted through clenched teeth. It wasn't his fault that Potter had become attractive or that his subconcious mind wanted to strap Potter to his bed and then have his wicked way with him. Draco groaned, feeling his prick make it's arousal known at the vivid imagery his mind procured. A naked Harry on his bed spread-eagled or better yet, a naked Harry with his pert arse thrusted into the air while bracing himself on his arms. "Um...I have go to worship Salazzar!" Draco made a hasty retreat from the Great Hall for once thanking that his robes were loose.
~ ~
Severus Snape prided himself on being a man of extreme will-power and strength. A man with a quick wit and cool temper. A man that could reasonably tolerate that loathesome brute, Sirius Black. Sirius was teaching Care of Magical Creatures in place of Hagrid who was sharing living quarters-Severus shuddered with the visions-with Madame Maxine. Severus had been furious with the arrival of the insanely gorgeous man. Albus knew he couldn't stand the idiot despite how much Severus wanted to bend him over his desk and fuck him senseless. Truthfully, Severus had yearned for Sirius since he was eleven and in his first year at Hogwart's. As the son of a Death Eater, he was permitted to grow up very quickly and by that age, he knew all about his bodies desires and cravings for the same gender. He'd even expiremented with Lucius and decided that the pleasures other boys could give him were decidedly better than anything a woman could hope to offer.
Severus did not pride himself on being a die-hard romantic, which he NEVER admitted even under the pain of torture he wouldn't break and confess that he longed for someone to make him breakfast-in-bed, for someone to spoil him rotten with chocolate and flowers and maybe even a teddy bear. No one had ever done that for him.
Remus Lupin had been Severus's significant other for a year before Sirius grew jealous and led Severus to the Shrieking Shack where it was discovered that Remus-timid, quiet, intelligent Remus-was in fact a werewolf capable of tearing him limb from limb with his fangs and claws. That had seriously put a damper on Severus's love life and had made him go to the Dark Lord.
However, there is a thin line between love and lust, which he had discovered upon seventh year. Sirius had been the sex god of every girl and boy's fantasy. Long dark hair, vivid blue eyes, tall and lean body... Yes, Severus had had many a wet dreams concerning Sirius Black. He still did, especially when he saw Sirius three years ago. Though thin, gaunt, emanciated, dirty, Sirius was just as wanton and desireable as he had been in his youth.
Severus sighed, feeling his nether regions harden at the prospect of laying Sirius Black on his bed and mounting him like the bitch he was born to be. Severus glanced at the magazine that Potter and Weasley had been engrossed in. Just what was the big fuss about a bunch of naked sluts? Most didn't even have pretty faces.
He was just about to look when a knock on his door stopped him. "Who is it?" he snapped. God, if it was Draco, he would be forced to throw the boy out. Lately Draco had come bugging him with his social and sexual problems. Honestly, as if he wanted to curtail to the little fruit.
"It's Remus."
"Come in." Severus admired the way the lighting of his chambers seemed to make Remus glow. His prematurely greying dark ashen hair haloed and those liquid honey pools were sparkling with a humour and warmth that had Severus's heart aching in his chest. What it would be like to grasp that slender and lithe body to his own and meld them into one entity. "Yes?"
"I saw what you did. You know very well that those sorts of magazines aren't illegal in this school. Albus even said himself that he was fine with them so long as they weren't seen in class or causing disruptions among the students."
"You call Weasely and Potter salivating not attention gaining?" Severus ceased the images of their school day explorations of each other. Hesitant hands gliding along smooth flesh and sinewous muscle. Mouths meshing, lips wrapping around-
"Severus. It was uncalled for. You need to give that magazine back at once."
Severus avoided looking at Remus. If the mere ~appearance~ of the man caused his nerves to drip with want and need than making eye contact was a bad thing. "Why should I Lupin? So that he and his group of friends can have wank fests in their dormitories?"
Remus had the deceny to blush at Severus's crude yet logical assumption. "Now really Sev-"
"I wish you wouldnt call me that."
For a brief second Severus regretted snapping at the werewolf as pain flitted across Remus's beautiful face. "Oh...Alright, Seveus. I had thought that you might have put aside age old grudges."
"Grudges? You nearly killed me."
"I didnt know! I wasn't in control of my body, you know what happens to me. I wish you would accept my apology... and let bygones be bygones." Remus placed a hand on Severus's shoulder, the startled Potions Master leaning against the desk. "I miss us being friends." It was then, that the back cover of the doujinshi caught his attention. "Huh...?"
"What is it Lupin?" Severus questioned as Remus withdrew his touch and stared, boggle eyed at the doujinshi. Severus looked too and nearly shit himself. "What the hell kind of joke is that...??"
Remus shook his head. "Well...apparently some, might I say, extremely gifted artist took a liking to you and...Oh my god. That's Sirius!" Remus squeaked, pointing at the man that had Severus in his lap. It was unmistakebly him. Everything about Sirius from the wild hair and cheeky grin.
"Who in the hell would get off on this?!! OPEN IT!" Severus barked as Remus hurried to the middle pages of the crease. "WHAT THE FUCK?!" Severus howled for on that very page was Severus lowering himself on Sirius's penis.
Remus's blush was spreading across his entire body. "You do have to admit, it is certainly drawn in proportion." ((I'm sure you all know what exactly that means. Wink. ))
"Never mention that again in my prescence. I would NEVER have sex with Black and if by some curse we did, I wouldn't be the uke! That bastard would bottom me." Severus just didn't want to admit that he was finding it very arousing, even if it was just a drawing.
Remus quickly closed it. Oh yes, he'd imagined Sirius and Severus together before. It was one of his common wet dreams, still, even. Remus bit his tongue from mentioning that Severus was the more feminine of the two and he would most likely bottom. "I think we should discuss this with Harry and Ron."
"You're damn right we are. Those little perverts..." Severus bustled from the room with flurry, black robes billowing behind him and nearly catching Remus in the eye with a corner. "I'm going to take a million points from them and hex them to oblivion."
"You can't do that!" Remus protested, following him.
"They're reading magazines that involve their teachers. I wouldn't be surprised if you weren't featured in one of them," Severus sneered. "Maybe you and Lucius. Or you and James. Or better yet, how about you and Potter?"
"Calm down Severus. Facing them with this fury won't solve anything. Perhaps you should target your anger at the person responsible for drawing this."
"And who the flying fuck is it?"
Remus squinted at the name, written in Japanese. "I can read Kanji and it says Shouga?" Remus frowned. "That means ginger."
"Big help Lupin. In case you didnt know, there are no students in this school by the name of Ginger."
"Stop being such a prat."
"Shut up Lupin!!"
Remus did, glaring at the raging man beside him. He had to practically jog to keep up with Severus's long strides. He frowned. Just who the hell was Ginger? A real name, code name, alias? They had to be close to someone from the past to have drawn Severus and Sirius so well. But who?
~ ~~
::cue batman theme song::
Will they figure out who Ginger is? Will Harry and Ron meet their demises at the hands of an irate Potions Master? And what of the new doujinshi?! Find out next time on the Yaoi Doujinshi!!!!
::cue batman theme song::
Holy Tissue, Batman! Review! :)
Thanks to: animekid (there are yaoi doujinshi. real ones. I actually own... ::sweatdrop:: a stack. lol) BlueDream1 (I'm glad it was that funny! lol. Dont worry, Draco will be seeeing a doujin soon) Ko-chan to Ya-chan (hee hee, thanks! Poor Ron and Harry, eh? You know you enjoy seeing them tortured just as much as I do.) Demile ( didnt hurt yourself rolling on the floor, didja? hee hee, thanks!) Red-Kasei (ha, like the name! lol. I am pervy arent I? ::hentai grin:: Harry/Ron is weird and I dont like it but I do like torturing Ron. I think it'll be Harry/Draco and no Ron/H/D. ^^ That savvy? You've read my Truhan stories?! LOL! wow. Well, some dont have lemons. I have 92 stories and only about 10 have lemons in them. lol. Thanks!) beautifulelf ( You like Yaoi doujin ;-) hee hee. Lets see. I have some sites you can go to. I'll put them at the very end of this little thingie. Thanks!) Julz, Nameless (H/D will be the ending couple) Lottalita (that names reminds me of Lolita. lol. Thanks for the good luck wishing. :) helped.) Fyreda (hey!! ^_^ glad you liked this! it was overboard and it will get worse but the yaoi scenes wont get much worse than these. Lemons will be on my yugiohyaoigwdbz group and webpage. There are yaoi which is the harder version that has the graphic lemons and shonen ai which is fluffy. go to the yaoihell.com. lol. you'll find... alot....some good, some bad...No Yugioh yaoi though. i was shocked. :P ) tobun (lol, glad i could be of service to giveing you some limey goodness. Well, since you like Sev/Siri, I'll have a lemon. lol Thanks!) crackqueen (ron's not gay. just a suppressed heterosexual) KC26 (THANKS! there will be worse ones!!) faera (hee hee, thanks so much!))
links to doujinshi buying (since i dont know how to do html...just remember to put www in front of the linkies. okay? lol)
jpqueen.com (TONS of doujinshi. :D)
jpop.com (mostly hardcore)
interq.or.jp/tokyo/antique/harry.html ( Harry Potter yaoi, some arent though)
Those are the only ones I can think of at the moment. If you ever need more and dont want to look, i have a million links, Just email me. :-)
~ ~~
dis: not mine
warnings: male x male, sexual innuendo, crude lanuage, and suggestive dialogue. ((sounds like a porn flick. lol)
Chapter 3
"Mr.Potter, Mr.Weasley," Snape's silken voice interrupted their doujinshi viewing pleasure. Harry and Ron gulped audibly, feeling their dooms would be very, very soon. "Might I remind you that smut magazines are not allowed in this school. 40 points for your inability to adhere to the rules." Snape grabbed the doujinshi, not bothering to look at the drawings.
"NO!" Harry cried but it was too late. Snape was already leaving. Harry buried his head into his hands. "Oh Merlin! He's going to look at it later and end up killing us! He'll think we're a bunch of perverts! OH MY GOD! This is not happening to me! I DO NOT FANCY BOYS!"
The ENTIRE Great Hall went silent. Most students were shocked, a few had pleased expressions on their faces. (Like that of the gay boys who want Harry's magic wand. Wink.) Ron turned bright red and averted his attention from the oggled Harry. Finally, Hermione rose to her feet and drew her wand. "Oh quit staring you bunch of stupid prats!"
Everyone knew better than to tangle with Hermione so, breakfast resumed with lots of gossip. Draco was nudged in his ribs by Blaise, the boy with a perverted, giddy grin highlighting his aquiline features. Draco shoved him aside roughly. "Honestly, can't you do more than lust over that ugly fool?"
Blaise snorted. "That wasn't what you were saying last night." Draco's eyes widened in alarm. "I quote you on this. Oh Harry, suck it harder. Make use of that delicious mouth and swallow me-" Draco clamped his hands on Blaise's mouth, the boy having earned giggling fits from those closest.
"Do. Not. Repeat. That." Draco gritted through clenched teeth. It wasn't his fault that Potter had become attractive or that his subconcious mind wanted to strap Potter to his bed and then have his wicked way with him. Draco groaned, feeling his prick make it's arousal known at the vivid imagery his mind procured. A naked Harry on his bed spread-eagled or better yet, a naked Harry with his pert arse thrusted into the air while bracing himself on his arms. "Um...I have go to worship Salazzar!" Draco made a hasty retreat from the Great Hall for once thanking that his robes were loose.
~ ~
Severus Snape prided himself on being a man of extreme will-power and strength. A man with a quick wit and cool temper. A man that could reasonably tolerate that loathesome brute, Sirius Black. Sirius was teaching Care of Magical Creatures in place of Hagrid who was sharing living quarters-Severus shuddered with the visions-with Madame Maxine. Severus had been furious with the arrival of the insanely gorgeous man. Albus knew he couldn't stand the idiot despite how much Severus wanted to bend him over his desk and fuck him senseless. Truthfully, Severus had yearned for Sirius since he was eleven and in his first year at Hogwart's. As the son of a Death Eater, he was permitted to grow up very quickly and by that age, he knew all about his bodies desires and cravings for the same gender. He'd even expiremented with Lucius and decided that the pleasures other boys could give him were decidedly better than anything a woman could hope to offer.
Severus did not pride himself on being a die-hard romantic, which he NEVER admitted even under the pain of torture he wouldn't break and confess that he longed for someone to make him breakfast-in-bed, for someone to spoil him rotten with chocolate and flowers and maybe even a teddy bear. No one had ever done that for him.
Remus Lupin had been Severus's significant other for a year before Sirius grew jealous and led Severus to the Shrieking Shack where it was discovered that Remus-timid, quiet, intelligent Remus-was in fact a werewolf capable of tearing him limb from limb with his fangs and claws. That had seriously put a damper on Severus's love life and had made him go to the Dark Lord.
However, there is a thin line between love and lust, which he had discovered upon seventh year. Sirius had been the sex god of every girl and boy's fantasy. Long dark hair, vivid blue eyes, tall and lean body... Yes, Severus had had many a wet dreams concerning Sirius Black. He still did, especially when he saw Sirius three years ago. Though thin, gaunt, emanciated, dirty, Sirius was just as wanton and desireable as he had been in his youth.
Severus sighed, feeling his nether regions harden at the prospect of laying Sirius Black on his bed and mounting him like the bitch he was born to be. Severus glanced at the magazine that Potter and Weasley had been engrossed in. Just what was the big fuss about a bunch of naked sluts? Most didn't even have pretty faces.
He was just about to look when a knock on his door stopped him. "Who is it?" he snapped. God, if it was Draco, he would be forced to throw the boy out. Lately Draco had come bugging him with his social and sexual problems. Honestly, as if he wanted to curtail to the little fruit.
"It's Remus."
"Come in." Severus admired the way the lighting of his chambers seemed to make Remus glow. His prematurely greying dark ashen hair haloed and those liquid honey pools were sparkling with a humour and warmth that had Severus's heart aching in his chest. What it would be like to grasp that slender and lithe body to his own and meld them into one entity. "Yes?"
"I saw what you did. You know very well that those sorts of magazines aren't illegal in this school. Albus even said himself that he was fine with them so long as they weren't seen in class or causing disruptions among the students."
"You call Weasely and Potter salivating not attention gaining?" Severus ceased the images of their school day explorations of each other. Hesitant hands gliding along smooth flesh and sinewous muscle. Mouths meshing, lips wrapping around-
"Severus. It was uncalled for. You need to give that magazine back at once."
Severus avoided looking at Remus. If the mere ~appearance~ of the man caused his nerves to drip with want and need than making eye contact was a bad thing. "Why should I Lupin? So that he and his group of friends can have wank fests in their dormitories?"
Remus had the deceny to blush at Severus's crude yet logical assumption. "Now really Sev-"
"I wish you wouldnt call me that."
For a brief second Severus regretted snapping at the werewolf as pain flitted across Remus's beautiful face. "Oh...Alright, Seveus. I had thought that you might have put aside age old grudges."
"Grudges? You nearly killed me."
"I didnt know! I wasn't in control of my body, you know what happens to me. I wish you would accept my apology... and let bygones be bygones." Remus placed a hand on Severus's shoulder, the startled Potions Master leaning against the desk. "I miss us being friends." It was then, that the back cover of the doujinshi caught his attention. "Huh...?"
"What is it Lupin?" Severus questioned as Remus withdrew his touch and stared, boggle eyed at the doujinshi. Severus looked too and nearly shit himself. "What the hell kind of joke is that...??"
Remus shook his head. "Well...apparently some, might I say, extremely gifted artist took a liking to you and...Oh my god. That's Sirius!" Remus squeaked, pointing at the man that had Severus in his lap. It was unmistakebly him. Everything about Sirius from the wild hair and cheeky grin.
"Who in the hell would get off on this?!! OPEN IT!" Severus barked as Remus hurried to the middle pages of the crease. "WHAT THE FUCK?!" Severus howled for on that very page was Severus lowering himself on Sirius's penis.
Remus's blush was spreading across his entire body. "You do have to admit, it is certainly drawn in proportion." ((I'm sure you all know what exactly that means. Wink. ))
"Never mention that again in my prescence. I would NEVER have sex with Black and if by some curse we did, I wouldn't be the uke! That bastard would bottom me." Severus just didn't want to admit that he was finding it very arousing, even if it was just a drawing.
Remus quickly closed it. Oh yes, he'd imagined Sirius and Severus together before. It was one of his common wet dreams, still, even. Remus bit his tongue from mentioning that Severus was the more feminine of the two and he would most likely bottom. "I think we should discuss this with Harry and Ron."
"You're damn right we are. Those little perverts..." Severus bustled from the room with flurry, black robes billowing behind him and nearly catching Remus in the eye with a corner. "I'm going to take a million points from them and hex them to oblivion."
"You can't do that!" Remus protested, following him.
"They're reading magazines that involve their teachers. I wouldn't be surprised if you weren't featured in one of them," Severus sneered. "Maybe you and Lucius. Or you and James. Or better yet, how about you and Potter?"
"Calm down Severus. Facing them with this fury won't solve anything. Perhaps you should target your anger at the person responsible for drawing this."
"And who the flying fuck is it?"
Remus squinted at the name, written in Japanese. "I can read Kanji and it says Shouga?" Remus frowned. "That means ginger."
"Big help Lupin. In case you didnt know, there are no students in this school by the name of Ginger."
"Stop being such a prat."
"Shut up Lupin!!"
Remus did, glaring at the raging man beside him. He had to practically jog to keep up with Severus's long strides. He frowned. Just who the hell was Ginger? A real name, code name, alias? They had to be close to someone from the past to have drawn Severus and Sirius so well. But who?
~ ~~
::cue batman theme song::
Will they figure out who Ginger is? Will Harry and Ron meet their demises at the hands of an irate Potions Master? And what of the new doujinshi?! Find out next time on the Yaoi Doujinshi!!!!
::cue batman theme song::
Holy Tissue, Batman! Review! :)
Thanks to: animekid (there are yaoi doujinshi. real ones. I actually own... ::sweatdrop:: a stack. lol) BlueDream1 (I'm glad it was that funny! lol. Dont worry, Draco will be seeeing a doujin soon) Ko-chan to Ya-chan (hee hee, thanks! Poor Ron and Harry, eh? You know you enjoy seeing them tortured just as much as I do.) Demile ( didnt hurt yourself rolling on the floor, didja? hee hee, thanks!) Red-Kasei (ha, like the name! lol. I am pervy arent I? ::hentai grin:: Harry/Ron is weird and I dont like it but I do like torturing Ron. I think it'll be Harry/Draco and no Ron/H/D. ^^ That savvy? You've read my Truhan stories?! LOL! wow. Well, some dont have lemons. I have 92 stories and only about 10 have lemons in them. lol. Thanks!) beautifulelf ( You like Yaoi doujin ;-) hee hee. Lets see. I have some sites you can go to. I'll put them at the very end of this little thingie. Thanks!) Julz, Nameless (H/D will be the ending couple) Lottalita (that names reminds me of Lolita. lol. Thanks for the good luck wishing. :) helped.) Fyreda (hey!! ^_^ glad you liked this! it was overboard and it will get worse but the yaoi scenes wont get much worse than these. Lemons will be on my yugiohyaoigwdbz group and webpage. There are yaoi which is the harder version that has the graphic lemons and shonen ai which is fluffy. go to the yaoihell.com. lol. you'll find... alot....some good, some bad...No Yugioh yaoi though. i was shocked. :P ) tobun (lol, glad i could be of service to giveing you some limey goodness. Well, since you like Sev/Siri, I'll have a lemon. lol Thanks!) crackqueen (ron's not gay. just a suppressed heterosexual) KC26 (THANKS! there will be worse ones!!) faera (hee hee, thanks so much!))
links to doujinshi buying (since i dont know how to do html...just remember to put www in front of the linkies. okay? lol)
jpqueen.com (TONS of doujinshi. :D)
jpop.com (mostly hardcore)
interq.or.jp/tokyo/antique/harry.html ( Harry Potter yaoi, some arent though)
Those are the only ones I can think of at the moment. If you ever need more and dont want to look, i have a million links, Just email me. :-)
~ ~~