Replay
OK, just a few things I probably should have mentioned at the start of the first chapter. Harry is in his 7th year, it's 1997 and he's gone back to 1977 which means that his father is now 17. The first chapter was written to give you all of the background information so that from now I can concentrate on my actual plot idea. There isn't really many amusing ways to sum up a year and a bit of Harry's life in fewer than 1000 words so I just left it plain and unembellished. Everything from here on out will probably be embellished and exaggerated to the extreme if my personal un-fanfiction stories are anything to go by. I may do flashbacks or write a side story with the information if I feel it's needed but at this stage, that's all you need to know. OK… I think I've said everything. On with the story!
Disclaimer: I don't own anything. I don't own the characters, I don't own the setting, I don't even own this computer! In fact I'm not even writing this story. It's my cat. She miaows it and I'm translating and typing since it's exceedingly difficult to type with paws.
Chapter 2
9th October 1977
If one were to describe the scene in the Great Hall that day, one need only have used a single word. Chaotic. However, as the narrator, I have the right to use as many words as I damn well choose. Two hundred and ninety five in this case.
At that current moment, a boy, about 5'8'' tall with black hair and green eyes was running down between the Hufflepuff and Gryffindor tables tossing chairs and small children behind him in an effort to slow his pursuer. His gait was hindered however since he was forced to continually duck assorted missiles in the form of the various dishes that had been served up by the house elves for lunch that day.
His attacker, a blond of roughly 6', was clearing the obstacles with graceful leaps, somehow managing to snatch plates of food from the tables on either side of him as he ran. Due to all of this he was slowly lagging behind. Meanwhile, a blond girl whom none of the halls usual frequenters seemed to recognise was lying atop the Ravenclaw table, alternating between one sided conversations with, the ceiling, a third year student, and a nearby jug of pumpkin juice.
And last but not least and possibly the most psychotic, a fiery red head was stamping her feet as she stood between the Ravenclaw and Hufflepuff tables screaming insults at the world at large, interspaced with threats for the blond, whom she identified as "Malfoy you scum sucking snake" if he dared to murder "Harry the moron" before she got a piece of him because she had landed on a gravy boat and her hair "was a putrid disgusting mess of greasy locks that would possibly never be the same again and Merlin her back was killing her".
All this was witnessed by several hundred students, the younger ones learning dozens of new words to add to their vocabulary, the elders watching awe inspired, along with several teachers all of whom now had their wands out and pointed at the new arrivals.
The black haired boy had by this time given up on trying to run and had chosen hiding as a better option. He veered suddenly to the side, dove under the Gryffindor table and crawled several metres toward the entry doors before stopping, as luck would have it, between the legs of the four marauders.
"Hide me oh defenders of heroes misjudged." He pleaded without looking up to see who he was talking to.
"Er… no," came the reply from Sirius Black. "Why should we? We don't even know you."
"Why should you?" Harry said in disbelief. "The guy's trying to kill me! Can you imagine the headlines; Boy-Who-Lived, Killed by flying Tapioca Pudding! Merlin how humiliating would that be?"
"Look man," James Potter said, leaning down to view the melodramatic young man. "It's not that we don't appreciate the sentimentality of these circumstances, 'cause we do, but we can't help you out. You're invading our school, squashing our feet, and you appear to have stolen my last name and dashing good looks."
Harry glanced to his right and then stared as he looked at the faces of two men he'd thought were gone for good.
"AHA!" Draco cried dragging Harry out from under the table and shaking him slightly. "What the hell Potter? You're supposed to be the Gryffindor Golden Boy! You can't hide under tables, it just doesn't work. I'm sure there's even a law somewhere that says you have to stand and face every battle. Now," he said as he finished his rant. "Give me one good reason why I shouldn't kill you here and now."
"Okay Draco, defeater of knaves unstoppable, I'll give you two." Harry said as he regained some of his bravado though he continued to stare at his father. "One, Ginny said she wants a piece of me too and you know she's inherited her mother's lungs. And two, the spell appears to have worked."
With this both the ranting girls as well as Draco froze as they realised their surroundings. Draco quickly let go of Harry with a murmured "Good point" and the four slowly turned to face the head table and the wands pointed at them.
"Er… Hi." Ginny finally said.
The four time travellers shifted uncomfortably in the silence. They'd regrouped between the Hufflepuff and Ravenclaw tables and had been standing together watching those around them for roughly three minutes, and so far, nothing had happened. However, they did have Harry Potter, the-boy-who-lived-to-have-the-attention-span-of-a-goldfish with them.
"Hey guys" He said in stage whisper. "Do you think it's safe to use our real names around them? I think we should play it safe and use false names. I'll be Clark Kent, Dray, you can be William the Bloody, Gin, Joan of Arc, and Pansy, you can be Bond."
"James Bond." Pansy replied. "But since you've just used all our real names, not to mention the fact that Dray screamed yours at the top of his lungs earlier, I think fake names may be a tad pointless don't you?"
"Oh fine." Harry sighed. "Ruin my entire fun why don't you? I suppose you want me to sort this mess out as well."
"Considering you got us into this with your re-invention of time travel, I'm thinking… yeah that would be nice." Ginny snapped.
"Very well then oh subjects of deities unequalled." Harry said in a long suffering manner.
Draco rolled his eyes.
"I really hope you're not talking about yourself Harry."
"What if I am?"
"I'd have to say that you probably shouldn't have drunk strait from the Nile while you were in Egypt. You've obviously picked up some sort of virus."
"Prat."
"Naturally."
Harry sniffed and face the hall as a whole with a large benevolent smile plastered on his face.
"Greetings primitive beings! We are from the future. I am the great and powerful, all-knowing Harry James Potter. Son of James William Potter and someone who's identity I shall not reveal for risk of taking the whole challenge out of it for dear old Daddykins.
"Behind me, you see the gorgeous and mysterious Draco Amadeus Malfoy. Son of the mysterious Lucius Amadeus Malfoy. Oh crap I just used mysterious twice. I must practice my diction at a later date. Moving on!
"Accompanying us are the two beauteous delights known as Ginny Annabel Weasley and Pansy No middle name Parkinson, daughters of Arthur Inius Weasley and Molly Prewett, and… actually I'm not sure what Pansy's parents names are. Anyway, we are here to take over so this will all be much simpler if you'll all just bow down now."
Dray, Gin and Pansy all stared at him in amazement.
"Harry," Whispered a rather pale Draco. "I don't think that will help the situation."
"What?" Harry said. "Oh alright then."
He raised his arms above his head in an almighty gesture and opened his mouth.
"We… Come… In… PEACE!" He said dramatically.
If it had been possible for the silence in the great hall to become any more pronounced, that's exactly what would have happened. As it was, it was broken only by a quiet comment from the young Severus Snape.
"Oh sweet Merlin there's another one."
At this, Sirius Black grinned widely and cried out;
"It's a Prongslet!"
"No" Remus corrected him. "It's got to be Bambi."
"But Bambi sound weak."
"And Prongslet is diminutive."
"Prongslet!"
"Bambi!"
"Prongslet!"
"Bambi!"
"Prongslet!"
"Bambi!"
"People, people, gentlemen of wisdom astute. There's no need to fight, I already have more then enough names to live happily with. Harry Potter, The-Boy-Who-Lived, Hogwarts Sex God, the Gryffindor Golden Boy, prankster extraordinaire, the…"
"Moron who invented a new and unreliable form of time travel that could have gotten us all killed." Draco interrupted dryly.
"Yes, well that one's fairly new. I was going to say defeater of all evil, or bearer of too many pieces of fan mail."
Draco opened his mouth to reply to this but checked himself and shrugged. "Eh, I'll give you those ones."
"Boys, as fascinating as this conversation is, it would seem that Harry's mind-blowing introduction has failed to alleviate suspicion. I would say now would be a good time to confirm our non-death eater status." Pansy said in a slightly strained voice as she stared at the multiple wands aimed at her throat by a group of cautious Ravenclaws.
All four hitched up their sleeves to reveal unmarked arms. As those around them started to put their wands away, Ginny turned to Harry.
"Just so you know, despite the roundabout success of your idea, I still have every intention of making you suffer for the state of my hair." She said in a too calm voice.
"Oh crap." Harry said jumping away from her quickly. "Look, I will personally pay for any hair treatment products you need or even an appointment at a Witches Salon, just please no bat bogey hexes. I'm begging you, leave a man his dignity!"
"Oh fine." Ginny sighed. "Now, how do we solve this?"
"Dunno." Harry replied looking longingly over to the Gryffindor table. "I don't know where the tablet thingy is. Can't we just stay here for a while and hope for the best?"
"Is this it?" A fourth year Hufflepuff called out pulling something free of a bowl of mashed potatoes.
"Yeah it is actually." Pansy said. "Thanks sweetheart, what's your name?"
"Pomona Sprout," was the reply.
"Merlin be damned." Harry said pouting. It was at this point that Dumbledore decided to make his presence known.
"Children." He called in a slightly melodramatic tone. "Am I to assume that you had no intention of this coming about and that it was simply an accident?"
The futuristic four looked at each other.
"No actually, we thought it would be just so much fun to land in your midday meal and then we figured, just to top it off, we'd yell at our friend and throw things at him for getting us here." Pansy said sarcastically.
"Do you have a reliable method of returning to your own time?" Dumbledore continued unperturbed.
"Ah no, not exactly," Draco said "But I'm kind of hoping that someone from our time period will remember us showing up here and come back with a proper time turner or similar device to fetch us back."
"Well then," the Headmaster said looking pleased with himself, "Until that happens, we would not want your schooling to suffer. I extend an official invitation to you to attend Hogwarts until such time as you return to your own time."
"Yes! Woo hoo!" Harry screamed and lifted his shirt over his face and began a victory lap around the hall. The 1977 students and teachers all stared. Draco watched in amusement, and Ginny turned red, embarrassed by her friends behaviour and began berating him from where she was, more to placate herself then for any real effectiveness. Pansy raised her eyes to the ceiling and seemed prepared to continue her earlier conversation. Over at the Gryffindor table, Peter Pettigrew turned to James.
"He doesn't really seem to be at all self conscious does he?" He commented.
James nodded, looking delighted.
"My son," he stated proudly, "Would make a perfect marauder. We must induct him as soon as is humanely possible."
"Seconded." Sirius said.
"Thirded." Peter said quickly, not wanting to be left out.
Remus just grinned.
At that moment there was a flash of light and suddenly in the place of Severus Snape was a large red and gold griffin.
"Merlin, I'd forgotten about that." James said brightly.
Over hearing this, Professor McGonagall began yelling at him, pleased to be able to pin something on the trouble maker.
Supper that evening was the first time in several years that every single Hogwarts teacher and student was in attendance from its start at seven o-clock exactly. Everyone was eager to get another glimpse of the four time travellers who had been whisked away to Dumbledore's study as soon as they'd agreed to enrol. In fact, the only students who didn't enter for supper as soon as the doors opened were the new celebrities themselves.
Harry, Draco, Pansy and Ginny were all slowly making their way down to the Great Hall. They were completely exhausted. As soon as they'd reached Dumbledore's office, they had been questioned with veritaserum to confirm their claims and from there, had gone on to reselect their subjects. They were left in their original houses and were given some spare uniforms and robes. The clothes were fairly generic luckily with no stylish assistance (can you imagine? Harry Potter in 70's flared pants!?!).
They had all been quizzed to determine their level, especially Ginny after she told them she'd been accelerated. After that, they had been introduced to their heads of house, a younger Professor McGonagall for Harry and Gin, and a Professor André Pandino for the two Slytherins. Professor McGonagall seemed resigned to the fact that there was now another Potter in her care but after meeting a very charming and suave Harry, she seemed to warm up a tad. Professor Pandino was a middle aged gentleman who informed the Slytherins that he would take no slacking off, that their grades must be impeccable, and any foolishness would be dealt with severely. It was soon clear exactly where Snape had gotten his inspiration, though, as Dray's godfather, he had mellowed out towards the four, particularly after Harry had sent a sincere written apology for the pensieve incident and volunteered himself for twelve detentions for it.
By this stage, Professor Dumbledore had informed them it was time for supper. The three teachers left to take one of the unexplainable short cuts that made it possible for them to seem to be everywhere at once, leaving the four students to make their way down to the Hall on their own. Harry commented on whether they did this for all new students as most would probably have gotten lost and wandered into one of Hogwarts' more dangerous areas never to be seen again. This, he said, would have explained why there never seemed to be any new students apart from the first years.
As they came closer to the Great Hall, they straightened up and moved so they were all walking in a row. They had agreed that an entrance needed to be made. The four marched together with even steps and as one, reached out to shove the doors open.
They burst open with a bang that turned every head. Harry, Gin, Pansy and Dray paused for a few seconds before Harry and Dray turned and offered their female companions an arm. Both pairs turned and the boys escorted their female counterparts over to their respective house tables. Students immediately shifted in different directions, all trying to get the newcomers to sit next to them. Draco escorted Pansy to a pair of seats next to some fifth years and opposite Severus Snape. Harry headed towards the marauders but at the last moment, changed his mind and sat with some first years some seats over from them after recognising one as Bill Weasley.
"Yo kid." He said doing some weird hand gesture Ginny was sure he'd pinched from Star Trek. "I'm Harry and this is your little sister who's actually your big sister right now but doesn't actually exist yet." Harry paused, not quite sure what he'd just said.
Bill thumped himself on the chest. "I am the Billster man. Awesome speech earlier by the way."
Harry opened his mouth to speak again but froze in horror.
"Did you just call yourself the Billster?"
"Yeah! It's my new super cool name. Like?"
Ginny and Harry looked at each other for a moment before bursting into laughter.
"Oh man, I've got to write this stuff down! It'll be great blackmail material for when we get back."
"Totally! I've finally got some dirt on my biggest brother. I've been trying for years but he's the only one I didn't have anything on."
"Hey, my new name is the coolest." The newly dubbed Billster shouted looking miffed and drawing a lot of attention to himself.
"I agree" said another first year. "Hey," the kid turned to Ginny. "Are you a goody two shoes or are you cool like the Pottster?"
"Oh please for the love of god tell me you didn't call me the Pottster," cried a slightly traumatised Harry.
Ginny laughed.
"Oh, you should see the four of us when we're in our element. We are the greatest pranksters of all time."
"Vain much?" murmured a nearby third year who seemed a lot like Hermione.
"So you guys do pranks?" said Sirius Black, who, with the other marauders, had shifted to sit near Ginny and Harry.
"Yeah big time." Harry said with a grin. "Our most recent one was huge. We got all the houses. We started by getting Mrs Norris drunk, then we shaved her and put trapping spells on her so she couldn't leave the Hufflepuff common room and a sense impairment spell so all the puffers smelt like catnip. Then we made blood run down all the walls in Gryffindor and changed the Fat Lady to look like Dracula. Then we went to Slytherin and made every single item of furniture, and all the paintings and draperies, pink and fluffy. And finally," Here he paused dramatically. "We went into the Ravenclaw and stuck Dunce hats to their heads with sticking charms and charmed the entrances so everyone who left or entered their dorm forgot how to read.
With this everyone at the Ravenclaw table, even those who hadn't heard him shuddered simultaneously.
A grinning Harry looked around at the other Gryffindors. They were all staring at him in silence.
"Awesome!" They finally all screamed.
"Harry!" Draco called from over at the Slytherin table. "Please don't tell me you just told them about our house disruption prank."
"He did." Ginny clarified looking rather put out.
"So what?" Harry asked.
"Harry love," Pansy said in a mock patient voice. "You've just lost us the element of surprise."
Harry sat back in his chair.
"Well gosh darn it." He mused.