Authors Note: Well, I got two knew reviews which is something I guess (sigh). I guess my heartfelt pleas went unnoticed. Oh well. Actually I'm pleased aboutn getting two new reviews. Just to let you know there will be increasingly longer gaps between updates as I have to go back to college on Monday. Hey, heres a chance to tell you all a little about me without revealing my identity (I'm cyber paranoid). I'm sixteen, I'm in my second last year of college, ummm, I like jazz music such as Emma Pask, Nora Jones, and Joe Cuba Sextet, but I'll basically listen to anything from Blind Melon to Eminem, from The House of Love to Nelly. Er, I read Patricia Cornwell, Janet Evanovich, Katherine Kerr, Isabel Allende, and J.K Rowling and fan fiction (duh). Oh, I'm working on another story whenever I run out of ideas for this one so keep an eye out for it, though it will probably be a while before it's up.
Parseltongue
Disclaimer: Still don't own the characters. Neither does my cat. Neither does the cyber cookie fairy.
Chapter 4
9th October 1977
After the meal ended Harry spoke quickly with Draco to make plans for their team to meet before breakfast the next morning in the Room of Requirement before warily following Ginny and his competition up to the Gryffindor tower. This was where the risks started. He was alone in his dormitory with people specifically out to get him, and, out numbered four to one. Now all that was needed were kamikaze tomatoes and his fate would be set (A/N don't ask). However, he was in for a surprise when he got into the dorm room.
All the marauders were already in the room when Harry arrived and after he made his way over to his bed, Remus casually walked over to close the door behind him. Harry was instantly wary. Despite his carefree attitude, he had allowed himself to be lax far too many times to make the mistake now. Remus however held up his hands in a peaceful gesture.
"Look, can we call peace for now? We just want to know a bit about you."
Harry looked at the four of them suspiciously.
"You want to call a truce before we even start?" He said slightly incredulously.
"A temporary truce sonny." James corrected in his best fatherly manner. "Look, this is fairly new to me since I haven't really gotten the hang of father-son talks yet but I want to know a little about you. We would have had this conversation before but this whole thing got slightly out of hand." Harry snorted ungracefully. "Okay very out of hand, but we promise not to hex you if you promise the same until the conversation ends."
Harry looked at him for a moment before grinning.
"Why most certainly, Daddy O'." He said brightly as Sirius sniggered in the background. "How 'bout we do this question by question, first one from all you guys, then I'll ask one."
"Why don't we try having question from each of us followed with one from you?"
"Um… no. We'll have one marauder question followed by a Harry question. That's my offer, take it or leave it."
The four looked at each other.
"Fine," James said. "We'll each take turns to ask a question with your questions interspacing them. First me cause we all know; family comes first, then Remus, then Peter, then Siri."
"Hey, how come I'm last?"
"Because Padfoot, you'll need the extra time to think up a question." Remus shot at him.
Sirius opened his mouth to object to this but closed it again.
"Good point." He said with a moderately adorable pout.
"Anyway," James interrupted them loudly "My first question is…"
"Hang on; it may be a question I can't answer because it would change things too much even with memory charms. Pick them carefully."
"Okay. My first question is… umm, how well do you know the four of us in the future? Though I guess it's obvious that you know me, what with my upcoming fatherhood status and all." He puffed out his chest proudly.
"God help the junior Potters." Remus muttered a little too loudly.
"Ah, okay, I may have to be slightly vague there." Harry said "I'll start with Sirius."
"Woo hoo."
"Shut up Padfoot."
"Well, I get on fairly well with Siri. Umm, he visits me at the school or floos me sometimes. And, ah… he's my Godfather."
"Yes! In your face Moony!"
"James, how could you?"
"Anyway, please pay attention people. Now, on towards young Peter. Ah, I saw you fairly often on a casual basis particularly in the school term until I was thirteen but then you started to travel a lot for work and now you live somewhere pretty hard to access so I no longer see you very often." Harry was quite proud of that response. He'd decided to keep an open mind about the current Peter cause he hadn't done anything wrong as of yet.
"And last but not least, Remus." Here Harry grinned at the younger version of the man he knew so well. "You I see most out of the three unrelated marauders. You live close by and you're constantly looking out for me these days. Plus, you took me to Egypt during the holidays I've just had which was totally awesome. Except for the whole rabid, evil mummy thing, plus when we accidentally opened that cursed strongbox, but I'm sure Bill will forgive you for the new tattoo on his chest he ended up with from that one. Note to self; must thank him for pushing me out of the way. Then I must hex him for loosing me the opportunity to get a cool tattoo without getting into shit for it. So either way, you're my current favourite. And before you ask, yes I would play favourites if it meant better Christmas gifts."
Peter was looking a little unsure about his description and obviously planned to question greater about it when his turn came around. Sirius was giving Remus a slightly tragic look while Remus was looking slightly smug. It was amazing that a slight praise from a boy they'd just met and had already declared war on could mean so much to them.
"Okay then." said James who appeared to have taken charge of their evening discussion "I believe it to be your turn to question junior Pottster."
"Oh my dear, sweet Merlin! Not you as well father of mine!" Harry cried. He sighed mournfully. "Anyways, my question, who are y'all dating at this current time?"
"Er, why?"
"So I know who's on the market, duh. And no answering questions with questions."
"But you answered my question anyway."
"That's beside the point."
Sick of the niggling, Peter took it upon himself to answer.
"James is dating no one at this current moment but he has his eye on Lily Evans so I wouldn't recommend going after her." Harry successfully repressed a shudder at the notion "I am in a tentative relationship with Julie Parks in Hufflepuff but I don't know how far that will go. I'm just guessing here but going on your question in the hall, I don't think either Julie or Evans is really your type." Harry inclined his head in a mock serious manner "Remus was dating Alice Robinson but they broke up at the end of our sixth year because she was in seventh. I think she's with Frank Longbottom now; he was two years above her. Ah, you haven't been seeing anyone since then have you Moony? I didn't think so. And, finally, unless Sirius has reformed, I'd imagine you realise that he has had more one night stands then any known man but no, he would not pull any of those of your list. If you had a list. Do you have a list? If I were like you I'd have a list. Maybe…"
"Wormtail, you're babbling." Remus said gently before the younger boy could hyperventilate over the amount of information he had voluntarily put forth.
"Actually," Harry said putting on a poker face "Sirius has reformed. He's a librarian now, and he's been happily married to his cousin Bellatrix for eighteen years and now has six kids."
Peter and James both choked at that point as Sirius fell sideways off his chair. Remus looked at Harry for a moment before cracking up.
"I… really like… this… kid." He choked out.
"Damnit kiddo, that wasn't funny!" Sirius shouted "Besides, it was totally bogue man, no one would believe I would fall for something that heinous. Never mind that that thing is actually related to me."
"Of… course… Sirius. You just keep telling yourself that." Harry said in a falsely sceptical voice.
"My question," Remus cut in, regaining his breath "Is not very complicated. What names do you know us by?"
"James I know as Dad for obvious reasons. You are just Remus or Moony on the very odd occasion, Peter is Wormtail, and Sirius has only ever been known to me as Sirius and Snuffles."
"SNUFFLES?" Sirius said in shock. "Who the bloody hell came up with Snuffles?"
The other three marauders were all laughing again.
"You did actually." Harry said mildly with an innocent look "I've always thought it rather suited you. I mean, think about me. Snuffles are kind of sweet especially with the very young, though they can be rather annoying and can certainly grate on peoples nerves. What's the matter, you don't like it?"
Harry's bottom lip trembled as he turned his puppy dog eyes onto Sirius. By now the other three were clutching their sides as they did their best to remain in their seats.
"Oh don't you even think about using that look on me mister! I invented that look. If you research it it's officially trade marked as the Sirius Black Look of Utter Desolation."
"Well fine then, there's no reason to get angsty." Harry said with a superior look borrowed strait from Narcissa Malfoy. "And anyway, it's my turn to ask a question."
Harry sat back in his chair pondering while his father, Remus, and Peter tried unsuccessfully to climb back into a sitting position. They were hindered due to the fact that they kept looking at Sirius who was sulking in his chair muttering something about lawyers and patency. Harry was fairly pleased by this discussion so far. He had not had any questions given that were particularly difficult to answer, plus, he was betting that the next few questions he received would give him plenty of opportunity to show off which is always important to seventeen year olds. He decided since he already knew these peoples personalities and family backgrounds, he would ask questions to further his knowledge of his parents' lives, and to give him a slight advantage in the coming war.
"Alrighty then oh prankers of students unwary, I have my second question. What was the reason and scenario behind the creation of the Marauders Map?"
The marauders all smiled proudly, remembering one of the finest of their many great achievements. It was James who answered Harry finally and he did so in a rather boastful tone. But then, every teenager should get his fun, so why shouldn't James be allowed his entertainment?
"Well, we came up with the idea in our first year but at the time it was just rough hand drawn lines on a paper with labels about hidden passage ways. In third year after Remus finally revealed his lycanthropy, we cast a ricordiamo spell on a large piece of paper so that if we carried it with us anywhere in Hogwarts, the place would be mapped and the people coming and going would be documented on it. The catch is you have to say the spell each time you wish to add new stuff plus the person who casts it must keep the map in their hand because as soon as the persons loses contact with it, it stops… well I guess 'recording' is the right word for what it does. Unfortunately, Filch caught us with it last year and saw it as it was wiping itself blank upon leaving Sirius' hand and thus rightly assumed it was one of our pranking tools and has had it confiscated ever since."
"It's Peter's turn to ask." Sirius chirped having recovered from his nickname induced sulk.
"Ah, since it was confiscated, how do you know about the Marauders Map? Did we tell you or did you find out another way?"
"After you four leave school, you must understand that you left the role of school pranksters conspicuously empty. Many have vied to fill it, but until my group, none have done so as well as the two I'll tell you of now. They were pranksters from the get go. With unmatched inventing skills, they also ran a profitable underground business. The day they left Hogwarts, they turned the entrance hall into a swamp and flew out on broom sticks. They now run a joke shop on Diagon Alley." Harry said in a slightly reminiscent manner.
"Sounds amazing." Sirius and James chorused dreamily.
Harry gave them a slightly wicked grin.
"They are good looking too." He smirked "It's an added bonus that one of them happens to be gay. Boy I've had some good times with him. Anyway, they discovered your map in Filch's office and made good use of it. They gave it to me in my third year when I didn't have a permission note to go to Hogsmeade. Neither they, nor I could ever figure out which spell you used to record new rooms and whatnot on the map however, and believe me we did try. You guys missed out whole chunks of the castle and we've been aching to add them on. Thanks for telling me. I have it in my pocket now so I'll be able to use it while I'm here."
The marauders all scowled at this slight nudge but shrugged it off. No one could have expected them to get everything now could they? Feeling slightly impatient, Sirius asked his question which was one both James and Peter wished they'd thought of before. Remus had probably thought of it but would never have asked it of Harry directly.
"Why do you get on so well with Slytherins like the Malfoy and Parkinson and now Snape? I can hardly see James teaching you that."
Harry scowled. He had been expecting such a question but was startled by the reminder of how pigheaded his father and his friends could be when they so chose.
"I get along with them because they are intelligent, amusing, and often fairly nice. They are also usually very, very cunning and manipulative with a slightly mean streak which makes them excellent members of my pranking team. We chose Snape because the man is a potions genius and since I'm an ace at DADA, Gin rocks at Charms, Draco is first-rate in Transfiguration, and Pansy's talents lie in Herbology and COMC, he was the perfect addition to the group. We also thought this was a perfect opportunity for him to gain some more strength and get some back at you four for the trouble you've caused him over the years, with the advantage of safety in numbers." Here he glared at the four as if daring them to object "Slytherins as a whole are not evil. They are traditionalists with a snake affinity. There is a difference."
"But snakes are disgusting and evil." Peter said and the others, even Remus, nodded in agreement.
"You know, considering you share your room with a werewolf, you should know better then to have prejudices. And you should be careful about your choice of words when discussing snakes." He glanced around at them "You never know who you could offend."
With that Harry changed into night clothes with a flick of his wand and hopped into bed, casting two way silencing charms and an unbreakable barrier around his bed before drawing the curtains around the bed, leaving four shaken, gaping marauders staring at the four-poster before them.
Authors Note: Thanks to those who reviewed. Cyber cookies are still on the market. Just so y'all know, I will be returning to college again on Monday and will thus have less time. Now you have two options. Either you can have regular updates of short chapters (1500 words I'm guessing but don't hold me to that), or you can wait for longer periods and have extended chapters (5000 )
Its up to you guys, I'm fine either way. Sorry this chapter took slightly longer, I got distracted.
I am also trying to decide if I should have Harry continue as a gay Casanova, or if I should have him pick one person to chase after. Remember, I can have future people stop by to visit so they are still around as potentials.
Next Chapter:
The meetings and plots of the two teams. (I've already written it)
"Reality continues to ruin my life." - Calvin and Hobbes
Remember to smile. :)