Authors Note: Yay! I doubled my reviews. How cool is that? Cyber cookies all around! (Mental happy dance) I just drank four glasses of red cordial and ate a bar of Cadbury chocolate! Can you tell? I think the clue is in the exclamation marks! So I am going to use my authors note to thank people. Firstly, thanks to Lord Sauron the Deciever for adding me to their C2 Harry Takes Control. That is a big complement to me, my story, my writing, and my cat. Secondly, thanks to Alanna's modern day twin who added Replay to their favorites. This was done a while ago, but I keep forgetting to say thanks. Red cordial improves your memory people, drink it up! And of course to all six reviewers (see below for replies to latest three). Well, this is half of what was to be chapter five. The other half needed work and apparently you can't concentrate after drinking so much cordial (bounces). So here is half. Expect the other half in the next few days unless I'm forced to actually work on actual graded stuff. BTW, I have been giving a creative writing piece to write up during the next few weeks that has to be humorous and fit into the crime genre. So maybe I'll add a few mysteries in this story for practice. My other story is going well and should have the first chapter up soon (the first chapter is long). Yay! Here's the review replies cause I couldn't be bothered replying privately (I'm lazy), the italic thingy that shows parseltongue is written that way (is that really necessary?), and the disclaimer, and the centered title that shows you morons who can't tell that this is chapter five, and then, THE STORY! Yay, go cordial!

Review Replies

starburst5509- you are the first reviewer for this chapter. Have a cyber cookie. Your name is fun. I like cordial. The chapters are regular and short at this stage. Just cause you said so. Don't you feel powerful now?

Fireyhell- No. Sorry, I just don't have time. Thanks for the compliment. You are a good chapter too.

Black-Nyx- OMG! You are my new favorite person. Peoples, you should all bow down to Black-Nyx as they are the most awesome reviewer in the universe. Check out the length of that review people! Thank you for thinking it is hilarious. It's hard to know because I have never been able to laugh at my own jokes. I agree about Peter and I hate when people make Harry nasty to him. The poor kid is really vulnerable at this stage and I can just see him joining Voldemort simply because Harry separates him from his friends which would be very ironic cause then Harry would feel guilty and blame himself for his father and mothers deaths. Don't worry; Draco was never on my list because it's way too common (although I do enjoy those stories). That is why I took him out of the running at the start by having them already having explored that possibility. Mind you, if Harry gets bored, he may make a good distraction at a later date. I will keep what you said about Sev in mind, though he will feature prominently in the story. He will probably be strait though. Most characters will be strait. I can't stand it when authors make everyone gay. What are we girls supposed to do? About the Authors Notes: (shrugs sheepishly) I put them there because I felt like it and wasn't thinking very hard about it. I've taken them out of this chapter. There, you go, you gave me a long review, I gave you a long reply.

Parseltongue

Disclaimer: Still don't own the characters. Neither does my cat. Neither does the cyber cookie fairy. Neither does the gay Casanova.

Chapter 5 (It's bold because it's cool)

10th October 1977

"What the bloody heck is going on?" was the first question to burst out of Severus after Harry had cast silencing spells on the room of requirement. It was five thirty in the morning and they had all snuck out of their respective dormitories to meet here through Draco had simply dragged Severus with little explanation. He had also failed to give an explanation the night before about their reason for forcing his involvement thus leading to the current situation.

"Why Severus darling, we have no idea what you are talking about." A wide eyed Pansy explained.

Severus looked at her suspiciously. As far as he knew it was physically impossible for a person to open their eyes that wide before ten AM and that alone was creeping him out a little. He shook of his worries however and continued to address the group.

"What do you think I'm talking about? I have just been forced by two Gryffindors and two rather questionable Slytherins to participate in a prank war that I have no liking for, nor any talent in, against James Potter of all people. As far as I'm concerned I was enough of a target for him as it was without you lot giving him yet another reason. Are you trying to get me blown up?"

"Of course not. We have several much more productive reasons for doing what we did." Draco began "Firstly, you do have talents. You are excellent at potions and Ginny informs me that she noticed last night that all of the marauders scan their food for jinxes and hexes but not potions, plus Harry is very good with house-elves and could probably encourage them to put a few additives in people's meals. You're also very good at avoiding or directing attention depending on what you want. Secondly, they were going to target you no matter what you did so all we've done is redirect some focus and give you a little protection from them. We are now of equal sized groups so they will be a little more wary of approaching. Thirdly, we figured you'd appreciate the chance to get some of your own back after the way they've been treating you over the years. Now, we have given you the means and opportunity to do so. So, do you have any other issues you wish to bring up?"

Severus pondered this for a moment. The Malfoy had brought across some valid points. It would be kind of fun to embarrass James in his own element, particularly since he would be assisted by the Gryffindor's future son.

"No I have no further issues." He finally said, albeit a bit grudgingly. He couldn't risk ruining his reputation after all.

"Brilliant! Absolutely and utterly brilliant." Harry exclaimed "Now, it is very important that we form a decisive plan of action."

"No shit Sherlock." Ginny drawled "Great stating of the obvious there. While you're at it would you like to inform us all of the dangers of smoking?"

Ginny, like her father, was very interested in muggle artifacts, though, unlike her father, she was relatively good at discovering their true use and the methods behind them.

"Well," Harry started "I could, but the one you here most often in the muggle world is that smoking kills and that's not necessarily true. I mean, you could be a smoker and get hit by a bus. Of course, you could be hit by the bus because you were lighting a cigarette and were not looking where you where going and then you stepped onto the road and BAMMM!"

"Oh I know!" Pansy gushed dramatically "My favorite is the warning on cigarette packets 'Your smoking could harm others' cause I mean, if you are a smoker and you don't care that it is damaging your own health, why the fuck would you care about anyone else."

"Pansy," Draco said calmly "Please remember you are a Slytherin. You are not supposed to know what the warning labels on a muggle device say; you're supposed to remain aloof."

"Oh I'm sorry Draco, I understand now. I won't make that mistake again."

Severus stared at the people around him whose company he had unwittingly fallen into.

"Who are you people?" He shouted.

"We are ourselves Severus, can't you tell?" Harry said bouncing up and down in excitement "And now… we get to plan! Isn't this fun?"

"Harry, why are you bouncing?" Ginny questioned.

"I'm a tad freaked out oh companions of backgrounds unsavory. My dad knows I'm a parselmouth and I didn't stay awake long enough to see his reaction to this rather surprising news."

"You're a parselmouth?" Severus asked, his eyes lighting up.

"Er, I believe that's what he just said." Ginny shot at him "Don't worry Harry, from what I've heard he'll be too worried trying to figure out if that will give you much of an advantage in this contest to realize what exactly you've admitted to being."

Harry smiled a little as he slowed his bouncing.

"Thanks Gin." He said softly.

"Enough of this drivel!" Draco burst out suddenly "Let's work on our plans. I have the perfect idea for their lunch break."

With that comment, all side issues were forgotten and the five gathered around and animatedly began bouncing their ideas off of one another. Several relatively evil laughs filled the room on several occasions with enough strength that they would have frightened Peeves if he had been around to hear it. As it was, he was too busy battling it out with Mrs. Norris in the astronomy tower to realize, though an imperceptible shiver did travel down his spine at one point, though it could have been the result of hearing Mrs. Norris' claws scraping on the slate floor accompanied by her yowls of anger directed venomously towards the poltergeist.

Dear Individuals who have added this story to their alerts list,

I KNOW WHO YOU ARE! If you do not review, I will track you down… and bribe you. I'm warning you, I have cyber cookies and red cordial and I'm not afraid to use them!

With love,

Semmy

Okay, I doubled my reviews this time so let's see if I can do it again. That means I'm hoping for a new total of twelve. Pleeeeeaaaasssee (uses puppy eyes on unwitting readers who instantly aaaww and click the review button).

I before E except after C. Remember that when choosing your ffnet names.