Hello out there. When I first wrote 'Reasons' I had fully intended it to be a one shot. A moment in TC that opened Max's eyes, cause honestly she needed a reality check, but then the reviews came in and people kept asking for the why's of Alec's departure and the what's of Max's reaction.

Well the muse struck and this was the result. I hope this answers some of the questions and I do envision at least two more chapters after this. So much for the one-shot theory. ;)

Please enjoy, know that I own nothing and mean no harm, and the kinds words you leave mean so very much.

Things were getting decidedly more out of hand as each second passed.

All around him the echoes of a fight bounced along the walls of the warehouse.

At this rate Max and Alec would have half of Seattle on their asses and he was not itching for that big a fight.

Mole wasn't sure what irritated him more, the fact that Max had drug his ass out of command on some mad chase to find Alec, or Alec for going off half cocked in the first place.

"Dammit."

They just had to be show offs didn't they? That last bit of metal had nearly bashed him in the head. Couldn't just keep their little fight on the ground, oh no, they had to go and find their way to the highest point in the building.

Who the hell fights twenty-five feet in the air on the stupid catwalk?

"God dammit."

Well, he, for one, was certainly not going up there. No sir.

Leaning against the nearest surface strong enough to support anything other than dust, he re-lit his cigar and waited for the moment when his services would be most needed. On the ground of course.

Frankly, he didn't see what the big deal was. 494 was the highest ranking, most qualified unit left in their merry band of misfits and if anyone could pull of a search and destroy of Seattle Familiars, than it was him.

On the other hand, Alec was the SIC and that meant something. Max, for all her pouting and concern, would be lost without her Second and everyone in TC knew that. For Alec to risk capture-exposure-death, was unacceptable.

No matter what motivated him.

A sticky mess was what they had.

"Shit."

High above the brooding Mole, Max was doing her very best to keep two feet on the floor, or grate.

"Come on Alec."

Never show your fear.

"Let's go home before I kick your ass."

It was probably right then that she knew just how bad things were when he didn't smirk or snark, never broke his stride, because she was losing.

Badly.

Her opponent, Alec, 494, was a thing of beauty. In awe and pain, she had watched, felt, him execute precision, kicks-blows-feints, that left her reeling.

And the bastard was still holding back. Still.

Ugh, Logan just had to be right.

Although it was admittedly a good thing, but it still bugged the shit out of her.

"Go home Max."

Ow. She may have been more open to the suggestion had he not punched her in the head.

"Can't do that Alec."

Wow. If he ground his teeth any harder he might snap a tooth.

"I have to do this."

This, this, this. Knocking off Familiars, while ordinarily she was all for the good guys winning, what Alec was doing was dangerous. So very very dangerous.

"You don't have to do it alone."

Of course she felt the loss, Transgenics dead at the hands of White, all of TC was feeling the loss, but Alec, the burden Alec carried went beyond loss.

"Yes I do."

Damn damn damn, she should have expected this. It was Alec who had sent them on the mission, it was Alec whom White had addressed the bodies to (in blood on their stomachs), that guilt, that pain might have been manageable, maybe. Oh, but the real seal on the deal was the post-mortem discovery at just how badly they males and lone female had been violated before their throats had been cut. The ensuing rage, well, it had just all been too much.

The horror nearly overrode everything else. She had trouble boxing it away, but this, this quest Alec was on was not the answer.

"We can't lose you Alec."

Damn he hit hard. Wincing she fell forward with the force of his blow, twisting as she went, she swept his legs out from under him.

Thankfully, finally, he tumbled down the stairs. Back on the ground, with Mole leaping to attention out of the corner of her eye, she renewed her attacks with the last of her reserves.

"White has to pay Max."

If she could have she would have rolled her eyes, but she didn't want to take them off of him for a second.

"Of course he will Alec."

She couldn't reach him, she couldn't beat him. What she saw in his eyes, determination, a complete and total focus on the task at hand, and she finally conceded that getting through to Alec was not gonna happen.

Damn.

"Stand down Alec. Please."

One last chance, one last plea, if he knew what it cost her to say it, and she knew he knew, but all she got was a flicker. One tiny consideration, which was something, before his eyes hardened.

He was gonna hate this. Really, it was going to suck, but then when did last resorts ever include anything but the extreme.

"NOW MOLE!"

Her shout had been startling, she saw his eyes widen a split second before the electricity ripped through him and his eyes rolled up into his head.

Not. Fun.

Better than death, but he would be in a nasty amount of pain when he woke up. Blurring towards him she caught his crumbling body before he hit the ground.

"I'm so sorry, Alec."

Cradling his head against her chest as Mole picked the electrodes out of his back, she wished she hadn't had to use the dirty tactics, but he was so damn stubborn.

He would forgive her though, he had to.

Stealing a moment, a second, she looked down at his face, still and bruising, she rubbed away the blood that had spilled from a split lip.

Oh, Alec.

She had been stupid when it came to him, lodging him in her blind spot from the time she had met him and look at what had nearly, almost, happened.

"I've called it in. Transports ETA is 10. I'll keep watch."

Grateful, she was so grateful for Mole, she felt so out of sorts.

Logan being insightful, Mole at her back, Alec kicking her ass, kicking Familiar ass.

How many had he tracked and killed? In what six hours, a half dozen locations, the enormity of it hit her.

He was good, very, very good. How had she not realized that? What Logan had insinuated barely covered it. 494 was the best Manticore had managed and she was dully impressed. But the cost of the lesson, to her, to Alec, was so high.

"You're gonna be pissed when you wake up pretty boy."

Overwhelmed, she looked away, blinking back an almost set of tears. How awesome was it that Mole had left them alone, because witnesses to this would be bad.

"Anyway."

Of their own accord her fingers ran through his hair, over his face, taking liberties she might have never, ever considered had he been awake.

"You know none of this was your fault right?"

Her tone, calm and reassuring, was never one she used when he was awake and the realization shamed her.

"They were soldiers, in our war, and they knew the risks."

Why hadn't she seen his pain? Again she was just blind when it came to him. She never saw him, never really looked at him.

But she was looking now.

"What White did, ordered, was unforgivable, and he will get his."

Her tone was so different now. No more negotiations, no more talking. Shoot to kill were the standing orders for White and known Familiar.

"But this rogue assassin thing is not gonna work for me."

Yes, he had held his own, delivering an insulting blow to the Cult, but if something had happened.

'No, No, NO.'

Well, now, her chest began to constrict painfully.

Before she could realize what that meant she heard the squeal of tires and Moles' grunt of welcome.

"You and I will be finishing this conversation very soon."

Hours later, in the quiet dark of TC's infirmary, Alec woke.

His eyes blinked open and a split second later the realization hit.

Pain. All over. Inside and out.

With a groan his eyes slid shut, but opened again just as quickly when he felt a cool hand on his forehand.

"Max?"

Above him, her face hovered, half hidden by the long sweep of hair that was tickling his neck.

"Hey."

Why were they whispering? Oh, right. Everything hurt.

"Here."

Obediently he took the pills she offered, swallowing them with the water she brought to his lips too stunned to protest or consider why she was doing it at all.

"Pain meds are scarce, so we wanted to wait until you woke."

That sounded an awful lot like she had been sitting there the whole time. Waiting. But that couldn't be.

"You've been out for about three hours."

Three hours in the black and what five minutes with Max. Where was the yelling and reprimands? One of them should be upset, but she hadn't started with the yelling and he didn't have it in him.

Closing his eyes, he grit his teeth and willed the pills to dissolve faster. Electricity, enough to take down an X5, was a painful experience, jolting when it happened, but the real fun began when the nerves re-awoke and sent wave after wave of jarring hot pain.

"17."

What?

"17 killed. A half dozen locations burned."

Afraid to open his eyes and realize it was all a dream, the cool cloth she ran over his brow, the almost awe in her voice. He'd just as soon live the dream, thanks.

"You did real good. You know? Made them pay."

Not enough, not nearly enough, but Max, Max sounded so sincere, so accepting.

"It was good. Right, that there was retaliation."

If it hadn't hurt to move, to breathe, he would have snorted. After all if that was the case then why the hell was he here?

"But, and I don't doubt your abilities," the unspoken 'not anymore' quite clear to him, "you shouldn't have gone out alone. Shouldn't have left all of us, me, in the dark."

Dumbfounded he stared over at her. Elated at her concern, shamed by the truth she spoke, at the time there had been no thought to plans and meetings, he had simply seen and reacted. But in the end she was right.

"It's not your fault Alec."

And there it was. Pulling away from the grip she had on his chin, he turned away from her.

"Listen to me."

Stubbornly he refused to look at her, acknowledge her words, but staying silent had never been easy for him. Biting down on his tongue he ached for her to just shut up.

"This is a war, our war. I get that, finally, and I'm sorry, so sorry that I didn't see it before."

A war she had not wanted to really be a part of. Which, of course, left him to pick and poke and make things work. Honestly, he didn't know what to do with her admission.

"But things will be different now."

He looked at her, couldn't help it, he was always looking at her, for her, but this time. This time was different because damn if she wasn't looking back at him. Really fucking looking.

"Promise me Alec, promise me it won't happen again."

Once again the cool rag was moving over his skin. Soothing, calming, giving her an unfair advantage.

How could he promise that? Why would he?

Shit.

One look at her, concerned, waiting, and he was lost. He always lost when it came to Max.

"I promise."

Oh, but then she smiled, really it was more of a blinding beaming, but it was there. For him.

OK so maybe this time he hadn't lost entirely.

"Good."

Better than good. The pills were finally kicking in, but he wasn't ready to go yet.

There was so much to stay awake for, pain or no, there was Max and the cloth and the shadow of a smile.

Sensing his struggle (and when the hell had she started doing that?) she took his hand, lacing their fingers together.

"Sleep. I'll be here when you wake-up."

Huh. There was nothing just nothing more than that.

"OK."

It pulled and tugged and dragged and he stopped fighting.

He slept.