Authors Notes: Sniff. I LOVE YOU ALL! I got six new reviews which brought me to 20. Yaaaay! I wasn't predicting I'd reach that till after chapter 10 and I got there after chapter 8. That is so awesome. Well it has been a rather long while since I've updated. I'm sorry. I've actually known what I'm doing with this chapter for a while but I promised myself I wouldn't write the chapter until I'd done one for AS. And my Mummy always taught me not to break promises. Alright, now to my regular messages. Black-Nyx is still my god (do I even need to bother stating that anymore?) and I still think you are all awesome. This chapter is longer than usual to make up for the delay. You know something… since I actually start writing these Authors Notes before I write the chapter, I actually find myself trying to live up to my own words. As far as I know I've yet to state something in my Authors Notes and not follow through but if any of you spot something I've done, let me know in a review so I can apologize and make up for it. My subtle ploys to gain reviewers are becoming more and more obvious. Let's see… oh yeah, just a mention of the story Unintentionally Yours. This is one of my current favourite stories and I thought you all should know. It won't affect my plot in any way, nor my style of writing, but hey, who doesn't want to hear a FF author gushing about someone else's work? It's a HPLV pairing but it has a new type of plot that does not copy Shivani or Batsutousai's (the best HPLV's of all time) and instead is creating an original plot line (how dare they!) that is captivating with increasingly magnificent uses of characterisation and occasionally foreshadowing. When reading this story, I find myself forming almost emotional bonds with several characters, hating some and doting upon others. So if that tickles your fancy, check it out. I personally can't/won't write HPLV because it's hard, and I don't think I could manage it without it just being really, really creepy (yes there are many versions of this pairing which fail to normalise it, thus resulting in disaster). Maybe in the distant future, I'll find it easier but for now I'll stick with plots that do not risk being flamed for any reason. For let's face it, there is nothing shocking about a prank war or Harry gaining attitude. My Author's Notes have again descended into blog like status but I don't care. No-ones forcing you to read them (though please do because they are sometimes important). Thanks y'all. I'm still in need of ideas for a Lily marauder name so please have a think or just tell me someone else's idea. If I copy strait from one source it's plagiarism, but if I copy from many it's research. That is an indirect source from somewhere I don't remember and can't be bothered looking up. BTW, is not the song Particle Man by They Might be Giants the most awesome song in the history of the universe? Holy Hell, would you look at the length of this Author's Note? I had better quit now although I'm sure most of you simply scrolled down to the story so it hardly matters except your finger may get tired. But then, if you did that, you are not reading this anyway so I don't care what you think. Nyah, Nyah, Nyah! Okay I'm done now. Stop groaning, I've seen longer notes. Besides, you've still got the Review Replies and the disclaimer anyway so you may as well settle in. At this rate, the intro stuff will be longer than the story anyway.

BTW, my spell check is down so forgive me if I miss anything in my proof reads.

Review Replies

imakeeper- I'm glad you like him. Sorry you dislike the others. Hopefully you enjoy my version of Ginny or I shall have to cry.

Vellouette- Exactly. I figured you'd had that in mind and yes this is designed to be public but as you will see in this chapter, it has very wide uses (mostly because this way, every time they pull off an awesome prank, I can attribute assistance to the powder). The marauders lost the map to Filch last year but if you remember the talk Harry had with them, they've now revealed how he can add his new finds to the map.

Black-Nyx- Hmmm, you have listed several of my favourites. Firefly works but that's not something I'm settling for at this stage though I may pick it later. Thank-you oh great one for your forgiveness. I have always had nice psych. teachers so I can't relate but I've had some shockers for sociology. My current one is just amusing however. Yay! Tu parli italiano! Sono molto felice con tu. Or maybe you only speak one word. ?. Alright, that's it for now.

serafina pekala- You have reviewed for me before actually but hey, I'm not going to turn down more. Thanks for the compliments about my story. Another Italian speaker! Noi siamo amici si?

MoonyTheBookWolf- Thanks

Desiqtie- Thanks, have you noticed I'm yet to define Sirius as strait or gay, thus leaving him open for if I decide he needs to sleep with Harry. Do not take that as something that will definitely happen though because I haven't decided specifics yet.

Parseltongue or just the normal reason for italics (accentuation)

Disclaimer: Still don't own the characters. Neither does my cat. Neither does the cyber cookie fairy. Neither does the gay Casanova. Neither does the Grammar Gorilla. Neither do Pinkie or the Brain. Neither do the Questies (you know who you are). Neither does Bill Gates (gee there's a surprise).

Chapter 9

11th October 1977

At roughly six twenty five AM, the sun deigned to raise itself above the horizon and it was the dawn of a new day. Well, for most students in Hogwarts it was. For Harry Potter and Ginny Weasley, the day had begun two hours and twenty five minutes ago. At this moment, they were both reentering their separate dormitories. Resetting their personalized alarm clocks, they fell gently back into the land of nod, neither expecting to be allowed to doze peacefully until seven thirty when they had set their alarms. As it was, they were both woken by the synchronized but unpredicted screams of Sirius Black and Lily Evans.

The wonderful thing about the blue powder Fred and George had sent to the group was the amount of uses it had. Not only did it taste like cinnamon, blend instantly with water, have the ability to cause spontaneous levitation when applied correctly, make an effective muscle relaxant, and work well as invisible ink when mixed with fresh goats milk, it also worked as a rather unique additive to shampoo. There were many other uses, these were just the most common ones in 1997 after it became well known. The advantage of being in the past is that no-one has heard of any similar adventures to your own before for this powder had not been invented yet. Probably because to make it, one needed the presence of a werewolf during the full moon and at this stage, there was no wolfsbane.

And thus the beginnings of the first school wide prank began.

Harry and Ginny had been the ones to carry out the rather spectacular prank Harry had described one the evening of their first day here. Pansy had been the ultimate mastermind and Draco had facilitated it by getting passwords and whatnot. The only thing that changed this time was that they now had Severus who already knew many of the current passwords, although not all of them, so he and Draco also mixed several of the concoctions used, showed Harry and Ginny how to assemble them, and also set about preparing alibis for the morning. This was an added bonus as last time; they had all lost massive amounts of house points and received devastating amounts of detentions. It was definitely worth it, but not really effective in improving ones popularity with ones house, especially after pranking them as well.

Harry and Ginny had both been awake and alert by four AM. They had decided to begin with the house furthest from their own, thus being Ravenclaw. The invisible ink mentioned earlier was not your usual, bland, regular invisible ink; instead it was actually rather different. Especially if a replication spell was added to it. The biggest difference was that this ink would blank out any scripts it was placed on for a period of twenty four hours. If you added a spell to replicate similarities to every book in Ravenclaw and then carefully copied over every word on the first page of a single book, you had the makings for disaster. Not only would every page of that book also become blank, the same would also happen to every other book. While Ginny was doing this, Harry snuck around and replaced the book on each bedside table with a muggle comic book, also temporarily blank. Thus when the original prank wore off, there would be a tragedy as each Ravenclaw went to find their current text and became distraught at the sight of it. Harry collected up the stacks of books he consequently accumulated and shrunk them for later use.

The dastardly duo then made their way to Slytherin. This prank could not be specified to affect the entire house as three of their fellow pranksters were here. Instead they went for one commonly used item that several could avoid without suspicion. Severus had informed them of a small statue of Salazar Slytherin placed at the entrance to the boys' dormitory. He claimed that each morning before they headed to breakfast, most boys touched the shoulder of the statue for luck. It was at this point that Draco remembered the statue and informed them that in 1985, someone had cast a rather cruel prank on one of the Slytherins causing the first non-living thing they touched after its casting to implode on itself. The child rather ironically ended up with large blisters on their hands after trying to save the thus touched good luck charm of Slytherin. Due to their magical nature, the burns festered and the poor boy spent a week in the Hospital Wing.

Severus reported that he had never fallen for the superstition and therefore it would not seem suspect if he did not touch it. Draco had not noticed it on his way out of the dormitory the previous morning and would have no issues with preventing himself brushing up on it. Apparently only a small percentage of the girls ventured over to the male entrance specifically to touch the statue so as it was, Pansy would have no issues. Bloody good luck for the three of them since the statue was so perfect for what they wanted to do, there was no way Harry and Ginny would not have used it.

It is amazing how a few scrapings of itching lice can affect a person. Itching lice were basically itching powder on legs with the unstoppable need to burrow into warm dark areas. They were fairly easy to get rid of, provided you were happy to drink a glass of warmed vinegar and bathe yourself in garlic. Simple really if you think about it.

Since the location of their sleeping quarters meant they had to finish their early morning escapades in Gryffindor, their next stop was naturally Hufflepuff.

For the Hufflepuffs, the pair used a rather Muggle trick but with a few variations. After unshrinking a remarkable number of coils of rope, they set to work, with aid of levitation and sticking charms, the pair began to thoroughly cover each dorm with a maze of barely penetrable ropes, formed into something that resembled a giant spider web built by a spider on 'shrooms. Once they had it all structured, they began dousing assorted ropes, picked at random with a collection of spells, powders, and potions, the least of which being some of the remarkable blue powder, manipulated to cause spontaneous levitation. Harry actually felt this was rather kind since they had spread the ropes rather sparsely as they got closer to the arched ceilings of the Hufflepuff common room.

Gryffindor should have run and hid at this point but they did not realize that they would be the victims of the main assault of this battle. To begin this assault, Harry and Ginny split up, Ginny going back to the Gryffindor tower and Harry going towards the kitchens. While there was no Dobby in this time to assists him, he did possess his father's cloak. But after you consider the advantages that come with being invisible compared to a psychotic house elf, he was probably better off trying this without Dobby's kind assistance.

Severus' talent in potions had come in to use here as, after doing some tests on the blue powder, found that after being dry heated and blended with some desiccated and crushed spider eggs, could be targeted to relax only targeted muscles. The choice of which muscles it would affect depended on how the powder connected with the person. Harry had chosen to add it to tomorrows supply of pumpkin juice for the Gryffindor table because, lets face it, when you are a Hogwarts student, your only options are pumpkin juice or tea with your breakfast and so far as he could see, everyone either had just the juice, or drank both.

This proved to be a relatively simple task and Harry soon exited the kitchen, though not before snagging a pie. Pie is nice after all. Checking his watch and realising it was not almost six, he hurried back up to the tower to assist Ginny with her efforts.

While all this had been going on, Ginny was organising the only specifically marauder targeted prank. It had not taken them long to realize just how much time both Sirius and Lily must spend on their hair every day. Lily's was long and always lustrous which Ginny knew took ages to style to perfection. Sirius clearly took a lot of pride in his hair, despite its casual appearance. Harry had informed them all with a laugh of the close to twenty styling products he had seen on Sirius' well warded shelf. Thus, when one has a powder that can be used to cause baldness for a twenty four hour period, it is far too tempting to forgo use of it.

Ginny had already broken the wards on both Lily and Sirius' hair care storage facilities and added the powder to every bottle of shampoo she saw there because she had no idea which ones they would use today. Besides, it could mean they would both be bald for several days if all went well and they didn't just chuck their collections of shampoo and start over. Pity it didn't work for styling mousse as well. That would have been perfect.

When Harry arrived, he and Ginny began to work on their main prank for their fellow house mates. The only problem here was that if it did not affect them as well, it would be clear to the teachers who exactly had initiated the prank. Thus, they had designed it so as to be embarrassing, but not humiliating. It would give all the other houses a good laugh and Harry was fairly certain that everyone affected by it would be able to laugh about it as well once they had recovered from both the shock, and its affects. After casting some minor spells to the drapes, wall hangings and throw rugs, Harry and Ginny then split up and headed towards the dormitories, Ginny to the girls', and Harry to the boys'. They began to repetitively cast a spell on every item of clothing they came across, even going so far as to charm the pyjamas each student was wearing. A few more charms on the bed covers and they were all set, climbing back into their beds at roughly twenty past six.

- - - - - - - -

"Noooooooo!"

Harry woke up with a start and glanced around his dormitory room. Remus was sitting bolt upright in his bed glancing around for the source of the cry. James had fallen out of his bed which Harry was starting to notice was a habit of his future father's. Peter was still asleep, snoring gently as the sound that rang through the dorm rose in pitch. Harry grinned as he noticed Sirius' empty bed and recognized the incessant noise as the boys voice coming from the bathroom.

Remus leapt out of bed and ran to the bathroom door. Finding it locked he began thumping on it in earnest.

"Padfoot what's wrong? Are you hurt? Did your pet rabbit pass away? Did your curling tongs break?" He cried, sounding more and more worried as he thought of situations which could have caused this level of angst.

There was silence for a moment before Sirius finally answered in a broken voice.

"Go away I don't want to talk about it."

At this point it became impossible for Harry to hold in his sniggers and James and Sirius spun quickly to glare at him, twin looks of dawning understanding spreading across their faces. Peter, who had just woken to the scene, stared at the time traveller.

"Sweet Merlin what have you done?" He murmured in a terrified tone as Sirius began sobbing in a shattered tone.

"Remus," Harry said politely as he began to get out of bed "Be a dear and assist your suffering friend. I believe he will be in need of a wig. James, you are quite good at transfiguration are you not? Perhaps you could kindly offer your aid."

The three boys all stared at Harry. All three now understood what had upset Sirius so much and although they would pay Harry back for this, they could clearly see the humour of the situation.

At the same time in the seventh year girls' dormitory, Lily had just made herself a rather realistic wig and was trying to assure her fellow year mates that she was fine while glaring at the laughing Ginny. Ginny chose not to reveal what had been done, feeling her fellow red-head had suffered enough. It was at this point that all the girls began to realize their state of apparel.

"OH MY FUCKING GOD!" James screamed as he looked down at what once were his pyjamas.

Remus and Peter glanced down at themselves and both paled drastically. Sirius who was now feeling slightly more secure with his new wig on, pulled open his clothes drawer and began wailing in a way somewhat akin to his earlier symptoms.

What were once the sturdy red pyjamas that had clothed Remus, Peter and James were now very skimpy and very feminine lace nighties. Sirius, pulling out item after item of women's lingerie, skirts, dresses and some rather beautiful handbags, shuddered repetitively before donning a slightly thoughtful look.

"Harry," He addressed the boy who was pulling on a purple turtle neck sweater and a check skirt that was somewhat tame when compared with what the other boys were going to be wearing. It was not like Harry hadn't tried some cross dressing before. He and a friend had had a very good time last Halloween preparing their costumes "Just a quick question" Sirius continued "How much of our house has been affected by this?"

"Oh every year except the first years who have clown suits." Harry said grinning "You will find no items of fabric apart from those in your own clothes drawers will stay on your bodies. They will simply unravel if you try so don't bother. The girls have an assortment of mens clothes which wouldn't be so bad for them except that they have all grown stubble and a moustache. Except for Lily's who will produce one momentarily as we couldn't have her noticing earlier and forgetting her morning rituals."

The other four looked confused by this last statement but soon forgot it as they began panicking, knowing that as long as they had something which fitted them Dumbledore would not let them skip classes. The old coot would probably find it hilarious. His eyes would be twinkling with supernova strength.

As Harry sat back on his bed to watch the show, the boys began throwing their new clothes around with lightening speed as they tried to find the most suitable items. He had told them all the details of the prank as he knew that otherwise they would take so long trying to get out of this that they would miss breakfast and as they all knew; a hungry marauder is a dangerous marauder. If you for some reason do become a victim of time travel, never ever forget that.

The other dormitories had said instructions pinned to their doors and most students, after realising that the clothes they had received weren't actually that bad, began laughing as they read the description given of what the marauders would have to wear.

As it was, the marauders and Lily began to walk out of the common room with as much dignity as they would muster at roughly a quarter to eight. The boys were walking slightly uncomfortable after Harry had revealed that it was impossible to swing free else the clothes were charmed to simply slip strait off. As it was they were all wearing either panties (if Harry wasn't mad at them) or a lace thong that rubbed uncomfortable (if he was). A padded brazier had also been revealed as a necessity that gave them the added chest needed to wear their outfits successfully

Remus had suffered least and was wearing a long flowing hippy skirt and a tight V-necked tank top with no sleeves. He was bright red but had accepted that since everyone else in his house would be wearing similar outfits, he would not be singled out.

Peter was wearing a knee length, pink flowered summer-dress with a tied halter neck. He had been lucky in the underwear department and simply had regular panties but both his and Remus' school satchels had been exchanged for bottomless thin strapped handbags.

James was mortified as the most decent option for him to wear had been a yellow and blue cheerleader outfit. It was slightly surprising to Harry exactly how well his father wore the outfit, his messy hair that was usually described as 'wind swept', could now no longer defined as anything other then 'just shagged'. Harry was still slightly put out for the past prank played on him in the Great Hall and had decided it must be his fathers fault because every teenager knows that whenever something doesn't go your way, it's always your parents fault. James was thus wiggling slightly every few steps as he tried to deal with the new feeling of wearing a rough lacy thong.

Sirius had acted slightly differently from his three friends and actually saw the humour of the situation. At least, he saw it as soon as Harry promised him that his hair would grow back by tomorrow morning and that his wig looked very natural and no, they would not hex it to fall off. Sirius had then selected out a very revealing and slightly too small singlet that showed a lot of midriff and fake breast. He was also wearing an uber-mini that flicked upward with ever step to almost show too much. But Sirius had soon figured out how to walk to as not to reveal anything drastic. He had also selected high heels. This proved to be a bad decision as he had no idea how to walk in them and spent most of his time leaning against an amused Harry who had decided to enter the hall with them for moral support.

Lily was also with them. Ginny hadn't been very inventive with Lily's new wardrobe, instead simply filling it with a complete gangster/rapper collection. Bling included. Ginny had left already and was, along with half of Gryffindor, already in the Great Hall.

- - - - - - - - -

The teachers up on the platform were at a loss for what to do this morning. Their students all appeared to be either suffering greatly, or continually collapsing in hysterics.

The Ravenclaws had arrived first. They all seemed completely shell-shocked; some younger students were actually in tears. A worried Flitwick had gone over to ask what was wrong and as he arrived, the fifth year, male, Ravenclaw prefect had noticed him and collapsed on the small man, a sobbing wreck. Flitwick had soon gotten the whole story out of him and had now headed off to their common room to see if he could solve the problem.

The Ravenclaws all had great faith in their Head of House's ability and had since calmed down slightly, certainly enough to laugh at the slight of the Hufflepuffs and Slytherins who soon straggled in. While many of the Slytherins were laughing, several were writhing around in apparent agony as they tried to scratch themselves using both their hands and any item they came across which could help. One poor boy that seemed to be suffering more than the others was rolling around on the floor, rubbing on the stones like some half crazed grasping fanatic, covetous and vile, like a cross between a drug addict and a record company executive.

The Hufflepuffs all came in groaning and stretching sore limbs and backs while curing each others minor colour changes or speaking disorders. Some students it appeared were impossible to cure and were being pulled into the hall on the end of long ropes as they attempted to float up to the ceiling. They were pulled in and tied down so that they could eat and the Ravenclaws took pity and began trying un-hex their badger-like counterparts. So far they had had no luck. No one was quite prepared for the Gryffindors entrance.

The first Gryffindors to enter were the first years who simply appeared to be offering a visual aid so the other students could identify their nature. They sat down, honking their noses and spraying each other with rather corny bow ties. The other houses rolled their eyes at the sight, obviously thinking the Gryffindors had it easy. But then several fifth years entered.

The whole of Gryffindor, in the eyes of the other houses, appeared to have some closet fetishes. Everyone had cross dressed but some to more extremes then others. One boy appeared to have arrived as a dominatrix. As the entire house poured into the hall, the other houses could not contain their laughter. As the marauders and Harry made their entrance the entire hall, even the affected Slytherins burst into applause. From their various positions around the hall, Draco, Pansy, Severus, Harry and a Charlie Chaplin look-a-like formally known as Ginny, all stood and bowed.

Professor McGonagall stood and towered over the hall from her position at the Head Table. Pansy slowly inched away as her eyes picked up the nervous twitch the Head of Gryffindor seemed to have developed. The Scottish professor opened her mouth to yell but was cut off by Professor Dumbledore.

"Oh very well done." He cried happily "A wonderful display of art from the Gryffindor house. A perfect way to encourage abandonment of all prejudices. Take thirty house points for your efforts. Oh and thirty to Ravenclaw for remembering that on this day in 1506, Thoyen of Rohan, the famous scholar was struck over the head and lost his eye sight, thus losing him his position as Hogwarts librarian. Thank-you all for taking this sacrifice in his honour. Thirty points to Hufflepuff for a display of team work in trying circumstances, and lastly to our friends in Slytherin, thirty points for upholding tradition despite unpleasant circumstances."

At this the whole hall cheered louder while the marauders and Lily all looked incredibly put out. Harry spread his skirts and took a seat next to the Billster. Ginny came over and sat down next to him, passing him two sickles under the table.

"You win," She commented "I was sure he'd let her give us detention first."

Harry waggled his eyebrows at her.

"Never underestimate the abilities of one supremely powerful madman to guess the actions of another."

So what do you think? I don't feel it quite tops the original attack by the firsties or Draco taking off, but hey, maybe I'm just being critical. I still need ideas for Lily's marauder name. Now what else did I want to say... oh yes that's right... REVIEW! They are important to me.

Thanking you in advance,

Semi