III

Approximately 20 minutes later John was on his way to the mess hall, sure Rodney would still be there, filling his tummy with whatever was available. To his complete surprise he found McKay gone. 'Maybe he is already on his way to the infirmary", the colonel reflected. Patience was a virtue but certainly none Rodney McKay pursued.

Increasing his pace to not risk Rodney gaining access to the secluded area of the infirmary before him, he passed several corridors, coming to a sudden halt when a strange yet familiar sound to the right of him caught his attention. There was a small balcony, the door standing wide open. He strained his ears to listen more closely to the whispered words interspersed with soft sobs. 'What was McKay doing out there?' Realization hit him like a ton of bricks when he recognized some of the words: The always matter-of-fact-I-don't-believe-in-anything-but-myself scientist was weeping… and what was more, praying.

Usually, this would have been a feast for John Sheppard, something he would have mercilessly used to his advantage but somehow it just filled him with wonder now. He himself had never felt the urge to imagine a higher being which was to blame for all the shit that had happened in his life, or to which he felt obliged to thank if he had come clear of a dangerous situation. But what he had witnessed today, the unexpected resurrection of one of his closest friends, could really make you believe! If there was such a thing as the perfect day to find your faith, this just might be very well it.

John resisted the desire to go outside and lay a reassuring hand on Rodney's shoulder, knowing his friend would feel thoroughly embarrassed if he did. Therefore he decided to head for the infirmary instead and leave it to that. McKay would be right on his heels as soon as he got a grip on himself. Nothing in this universe would keep Rodney from seeing Carson in a few minutes; pity the poor soul who tried.

xXxXx

Rodney had ignored the unbelieving look on John's face, just like the subsequent head shaking. He didn't care that Sheppard was truly convinced his personal world only revolved around food. He wouldn't have been able to tell him that he needed some time for himself anyway, exclusively reserved for his own thoughts. He had walked off with no idea at all where to go, simply pretending to purposefully go in a certain direction. Somehow he had ended up on this small balcony, absentmindedly staring at the sunset.

No one understood what it meant to him that Carson was still alive, not even John. True, he and John were close as anyone and there were a lot of things they shared. But with Beckett it was different. The gentle Scot was the sweetest soul one could imagine. Sometimes he was the biggest baby himself, especially when it came to using the control chair. He really was the mother hen of Atlantis if ever there was one! And often enough his caring and compassionate behaviour drove Rodney crazy. How could someone with such a big heart and stupid integrity ever make it in life? His cheerful and forgiving demeanour was at times plainly outraging, when he shrugged off every insult thrown at him with an endearing smile.

Probably everyone in Atlantis was convinced John was Rodney's closest friend, and he undoubtedly spent most of his time with the colonel, both on and off duty. So it was most likely true that Sheppard had become his best friend over the past three years but Carson felt more like a brother rather than a friend, a kindred soul somehow. Losing Beckett had ripped his heart apart; the fact that he was guilt-stricken for having treated Carson in such a shoddy way far too often and especially on his last day, adding to the feeling.

Now it seemed as though he was granted a second chance, a chance to do a better job letting Carson know how much he cared for him as well. Okay, Rodney was a realist, and teasing the dark-haired physician was way too much fun a habit to give up, but he was determined to enjoy the time with Beckett more consciously and never forget how awful it had felt to lose him. Before he had even realized it, he had begun to pray, tears of joy and despair streaming down his face. No, none of them understood what it meant to him…
His watch beeped, interrupting his heartfelt reflections. With his right sleeve he wiped the tears away. It was time to pay Carson a visit.

xXxXx

Sheppard and Dr Cole already awaited him as Rodney entered the infirmary. John had a mischievous grin on his face, trying hard to refrain from mocking the physicist about his reddened eyes. For once he would let dignity get the better of him and spare McKay the embarrassment of revealing his knowledge.

Prior to leading the colonel and the doctor to the CMO, she had warned them to not touch any of the equipment and instantly clear the path for the medical personnel should any emergency arise. Further she had instructed them to at least attempt to conceal their concern or their shock at seeing him. The two friends had shared an uneasy glance, afraid at what they might find when Dr Cole thought it was necessary to tell them something so obvious.

Once they passed the curtain separating Carson's bed from the rest of the intensive care section, they immediately understood why Dr Cole had felt the need to tip them off. The loveable Scot gave a truly pitiful sight, making the two visitors grateful for what little privacy the curtain offered. He was attached to many monitors and tubes, several IV poles were holding bags with solutions. Spread around the bed there were also some menacing machines, which weren't currently online but obviously considered handy for later use or in case of an emergency. A nasal cannula provided the doctor with oxygen, his breathing was noticeably strained, and he had his eyes closed. His face and neck were still as swollen and red as they remembered it from earlier on. A wet cloth was placed over his brow to give Carson's fever stricken head some comfort. Lying above the blanket, only the IV ports protruded from his fully bandaged arms, on the left side not even the fingertips were visible. As before, the rest of his body was hidden under the sheets.

When Rodney and John approached the bed and silently slid down on the two chairs, Carson opened his eyes. Amidst the red of his face, their pale blue colour appeared bluer than ever, almost mesmerizing. In spite of the evident pain displayed in his features, the usual cheerful sparkle in his eyes was still present.

"Och, don' ye look a' me tha' way, lads", Carson croaked. "Ye look worse than I feel, an' that's sayin' somethin'."

Sheppard and McKay exchanged a meaningful glance, unable to suppress a smirk. Before too long Sheppard broke the uneasy silence, "Can I ask you something, doc?"

"Go ahea'.

"How the hell did you manage to get into that damn locker?" John didn't even try to hide his amazement.

Carson closed his eyes, for a moment intently searching his memory. When he opened them again, he took no heed of his visitors, apparently fixing some distant shadow through a thick veil, his voice strangely absent. "I don' know about gettin' in or bein' in. I vaguely seem te remember the door o' one o' the compartments stood open when I went past it. Possibly someone was stuffin' somethin' inside when I ordered everyone te leave. I cannae tell you more, son. Sorry."

"Guess what," Rodney chimed in, face beaming at his sudden idea to lighten the mood. "We even had a bag-piper for your memorial service today!"

"McKay!" John was exasperated at Rodney's thoughtless outburst, shooting him an annoyed glance immediately followed by a hard jab into his ribs. McKay cried out, playing innocent, completely unaware of his lack of tact.

Beckett couldn't help a wholehearted chuckle at the comment and the scene. "You two are the death o' me one day! Hones'ly, I'm touched but ye can jus' as well send a bag-piper te me while I'm still alive."

All of a sudden the curtain was drawn back, revealing nurse Chun So Mae. Despite her delicate physique, she gave a quite imposing image, standing there in the dim light, both hands steady on her hips. Startled the three men stared at her, innocent expression and wide grin on their faces.

"What is all the fuss and noise about?!" she inquired sternly.

"Sorry", all three of them said with one voice, the apologetic tone lost in the playful laughter.

"That's it, gentlemen!" Her grumpy tone left no room for discussion. "Time is up. You two shouldn't be here anyway. Dr Beckett needs to rest."

Knowing better than to push their luck any further, John and Rodney reluctantly rose from their seats.

"Get well soon. And doc?" Sheppard didn't wait for an answer. "We're awfully glad you're still here!" His relief and joy giving those words a fitting ring to them.

"I know, son." The exhausted physician sighed audibly. "So am I."

"See you tomorrow if the warden lets us in." Casting one last mischievous smile at Beckett, John and Rodney sneaked out.

xXxXx

Later at night, Dr Cole was sitting in Carson's office, intent on getting some paper work done when something subconsciously entered her mind. For a few minutes she couldn't quite make out what exactly it was that had distracted her from the file she was working on. But something surely caused her a distinct feeling of unease. She listened to the quiet infirmary. When all of a sudden realization hit her, she was at once on her feet…

To be continued…