a/n: this is mi first one-shot. I have always wondered how suze would feel if Paul had sent Jesse to shadowland 4good. I know she cried n all but I have always thought she felt sadder than she put on. So I wrote this poem bout it.
I do not own most of these characters they belong 2 meg Cabot.
Pain
Ever felt like the whole world is against you?
You know, like your whole world vanishing.
Slowly but also painfully. Very painfully.
Someone once asked me to choose words that described me.
You wanna know what I choose.
I choose lonely, fear and finally, I choose rage.
A word that maybe should have been the first.
Shocked by my choice of words, I was forced to explain myself.
Without hesitation, I started to explain.
Lonely, you would be surprised by how many ways you can explain the word.
But for me, the only way I can explain the word is by the amount of misery I seem to attract.
You know, I have tried to move on, but that only makes me feel so guilty about the whole thing.
In the end, I find myself walking the road of never ending loneliness.
The guy still didn't get me, so I tried a different route.
Ever felt so scared that you feel like something is haunting you.
So scared that every time you think about it, you feel like there is no escape.
I feel like I am running away from IT every time.
That's the amount of fear I poses. Enough fear to drive someone nuts and yet I'm still here.
Rage, now that took some thinking.
How are you supposed to explain that every time you see IT, you feel like blowing IT's brains out is the answer.
Or how sometimes you feel so angry with yourself and you don't even know why.
I was once told "a life filled with rage, is a one way ticket to destruction".
Why care though, when you know that one thing you once cared about is long gone.
But I know one thing that's not gone.
My pain.
Even when I'm dead, the pain still remains.
Even when my hearts don't beat no more the pain still remains,
He questioned me about another powerful word – LOVE.
A ghost smile played between my lips. I looked at him and smiled sadly.
He saw the look on my face and quickly apologized.
He waited for the tears to start falling, but nothing came.
You see, emotions are something I can't afford anymore.
And LOVE, the word it's self is extinct to me.
Once upon a time, I was full of love.
Then IT happened. It was like all my energy dried up.
And with that the happy me disappeared and the new me was born.
You know, I often wonder.
What if IT hadn't happened, would I have turned out this way.
I kills me not knowing.
Sometimes I just wonder.
With that thought a single tear fell from my eye.
Maybe wondering can do miracles. Sometimes I just wonder………..
xoxoxcandyliciousxoxo