(ANY WICKED FANS please read my profile?)
Okay, feel free to kill me after the 21st because I'm planning to do that myself if you don't.
'Thank you's and whatnot are at the end.
When They Wrote Essays
Epilogue
22nd October 1981
Dear Minerva,
I hope this letter finds you well. I can never tell if Remus actually delivers my letters properly or if he drops them halfway to his destination and just sleeps for a week. I suppose it's not his fault that he's so old – but I can't exactly get a new one, can I?
Lily and I are going into hiding tomorrow, so this will probably be the last letter I send to anyone for a very long time. I think we both know that this war won't end tomorrow or next week – or even next year. Well anyway, I know my last letter should be to Sirius, but I wanted it to be to you. I don't know if you realised it, Minerva, but you knew more about me than any of my friends did at Hogwarts. And I don't mind, to be honest. Also, if I send a letter like this to Sirius, well...you know what he's like.
You'll like what I've sent with this letter – I know, I know, I wrote one every year for seven years, shouldn't that be enough? But I just couldn't resist writing another, because, well, writing down is the only way to admit my feelings – I can't tell Lily I'm bloody terrified, or Sirius that I don't know if I'll ever speak to him again, or Remus that...well. I can't tell anyone anything when they all think I'm the strong one.
And if I write another essay...maybe Harry can read it when he's older. Actually, he will read it when he's older – Minerva, I want you to give this letter to him. And the essay that comes with it. In fact, I'll stop writing now and just let you read it.
And I warn you now, Min, it's not my usual. Seems like I've finally grown up (somewhat)!
These last twenty-one years have been the worst and the best of my life. Actually, it's hard for them not to be, since I'm only twenty-one. There have been downs (arguments, Snape) and ups (Lily), and I must say, I'm glad that they all happened. The good and the bad. Especially since I know what's going to happen next.
You know about the prophecy – you may not actually know it, but you do know about it. And if Harry was chosen to defeat Voldemort, he will do it – but he will do it alone. Neither I, or you, or Lily or even Dumbledore have the power to defeat Him, only Harry. Harry alone. And I'm scared, Professor, I am. I'm scared because I know I can't help, I'm scared that I'm so bloody useless.
And I've got the feeling I won't make it to next week, you know? Of course, I've been getting those feelings since I was fifteen, but this time it's stronger. Like something really will happen – and who can blame me, really, I have a wizard-gone-bad after me and my family. But despite that, despite the fact that we're all in danger and might never see each other again – I'm...well, I'm happy. Well, not truly happy, that's impossible when you're scared, but there is a little silver lining to the clouds. I'm married to Lily of all people; we have a child...which is all I ever wanted, really. Now I've got it. And I'm happy that I've got it...but, again, I don't think I've ever been more scared. The saying does go 'if you've got nothing, you've got nothing to lose' – so what if you've got everything?
My father once told me that he regretted becoming an Auror because that's why he was rich and it was how he met my mother and got everything he ever wanted. When I was thirteen and too young to understand, he said to me, 'James, whatever you do, never stop wishing. Even if you have everything, never stop wishing for more, because once you do, once you have everything, you have everything to lose. And if you have everything to lose, you will lose it. Because that is how life works.'
And I didn't know what he was talking about at the time because it was a week before Christmas and I didn't understand how someone could stop wanting. But then Voldemort killed Grace and Evie and...Well, that was when I grew up, and I began to understand what he meant. Everyone thinks having everything you ever wanted is amazing, and it is, but it means you can lose it all and it'll hurt ten times as bad as not having it ever would.
And now I've finally got Lily and I wish I never said 'yes' because now Lily and Harry are in danger and it's all because of that one little word that I said. That one stupid little word that I'd wanted Lily to say since...
Well anyway. It's been great writing these for you, Professor, despite how much I complained for the first year (I didn't mean any of it). You've been a fantastic teacher, and colleague at the Phoenix...maybe even a friend.
James Potter over and out for the last time.
Dear Minerva,
I'm writing in a hurry as I desperately want to send these to you and James and I decided that we wouldn't send any more letters after the twenty-second, but I just haven't had time to find everything and send it to you until now, so I must do this quickly before James returns from Hogwarts with Albus and Sirius.
Attached to this letter are several packages I have shrunk. If it's not too rude to ask, Professor – Minerva, sorry – I would like you to take these, enlarge them and keep them safe for when Harry grows up. Then, when you think he's old enough to understand how important they are to us, could you give them to him? You can decide when. If he matured as slowly as James did, then I'd suggest when he's twenty or so, but it's up to you.
Oh, and Minerva, since I'm writing to you, I'd like to take this opportunity to thank you for everything you have done. Since the day you stood on my doorstep and told me I was a witch, well...life hasn't quite been the same! You've been my guide since day one, and I don't quite know how to thank you. The words aren't enough in this case, but they are all I have. So thank you.
Thank you so very much.
Professor McGonagall occasionally liked going through her old files and reading the absolutely fantastic essays of her previous students. But there was always one file that she missed. And that was because that file was hidden behind another several dozen. In it was several newspaper clippings about the Potters, a few letters sent from the Potters, and, of course, the Potters' end-of-year essays. She liked to keep them safe.
If you walked over to the tallest filing cabinet in McGonagall's office and opened the second to bottom draw, you wouldn't find any files. No, you would find a cardboard box. A small cardboard box containing a few shrunken packages, all labelled 'For Harry'. What was inside them, you might wonder. Well, no one knew. Yet.
It was nineteen years after You-Know-Who disappeared, and Harry Potter had managed to defeat him forever. Minerva smiled as she took out the cardboard box, enlarged it and walked over to the fireplace. She grabbed a handful of Floo powder and threw it in the fireplace.
"Number Twelve, Grimmauld Place," she said clearly as she stepped in. It was about time Harry read what his parents were really like – and someone found just what Lily Potter had sent to Minerva so many years ago.
I can't believe I've actually finished a story! You seriously have no idea how many times I've rewritten this chapter, and I really am sorry that I've only given you a short epilogue instead of a few more lengthy chapters, but they just didn't work out for me. So I hope this was better than nothing?
BIG thank you to Hmphh, emuroo, annna, Apathetically Interested, maritinkerbell, Maxie1514, nOtThEuSuAl, sugarspun, Mandy, Young Prewett, Quidditchstar2291 and Anonymous Marauder for reviewing, and for everyone who has stuck with me throughout this story! It would be nice to hear from you!
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