After a much longer delay than expected, here's chapter 2 of 3. In case it wasn't clear in the first chapter, this is definitely not-knight Anomen. However, whether my version of CN Anomen is more CG than CN, I'll let you decide. :-) Just a reminder, once again, some of the dialog is taken from the mod.
And yes, Second Choices, Second Chances will go on! A whole lot of…stuff…has gotten in the way, including a broken elbow, but I'm hoping the next chapter won't take too much longer.
Thanks for reading!
Chapter 2
"Anomen," Cassandra began.
"Yes, my lady?" Anomen responded, stroking her dark hair as she lay across his chest. He was having some difficulty suppressing the desire to grin foolishly whenever he looked at her. He was still finding it hard to believe that the woman he had wanted for so long was finally in his arms.
He felt her tense. "I need to tell you something. I…I lied earlier, about Kelsey. There was no argument, no parting. As far as he knows, nothing has changed between us."
Anomen's voice was calm. "Aye, I suspected as much. When we were in the common room tonight, I saw no sign that anything had changed between the two of you."
"You're not angry? I was afraid you might turn me away if you knew Kelsey and I were still together."
Anomen laughed and looked at her in astonishment. "Turn you away? You must think me a far more noble and virtuous man than I truly am if you think I would give up a chance to be with you for so paltry a reason!
"Cassandra, he is not your husband, or even your betrothed. You are a grown woman well able to decide what man you wish to have share your bed." His voice softened. "Of course, I thank the gods that you have at long last chosen me.
"I am a proud man…many would say too proud, with too little cause. But not when it comes to you. If this one night is all you have to offer me—well, I will not say it is enough, only a lifetime would be enough—at least I will have had one night in your arms."
She pulled him closer and asked softly, "So you still love me? You haven't said so"
He laughed again, this time ruefully. "Do I love you? Do you know how hard I have fought these last few months to set aside my feelings, to hide my love for you? How hard it was to see you give Kelsey the love and care I so wanted from you? I'm sure a more prudent man would have left your company weeks ago and spared himself the pain of seeing you two together, but I could not even bear to do that. No, my lady, even though your life…our lives…are filled with uncertainty, my love for you is one thing you never need doubt. I love you with all my heart, and will, I suspect, until the day I die."
Cassandra gave a happy cry and hugged him tightly. "My words please you, do they?" Anomen asked lightly. "That is most welcome news. Cassandra, the reason I have not spoken of my love for you before now is that I was not sure it would be welcome. I did not know whether you sought my company and my bed for one night, a few nights, or a thousand."
Anomen caught her eyes and stroked her cheek. "I think the time has come for you to say what it is you wish of me; what you feel for me. The last time I spoke of my love for you, you told me that it was Kelsey who held your heart. My feelings have not changed—have yours?"
For a moment she was silent, seemingly too emotional to speak. Finally, Cassandra said, "Yes, Anomen, they have. I love you." Anomen's heart felt as if it would burst with joy as he pulled her close.
He smiled tenderly and touched his forehead to hers. "I do not know what I have done to merit such wondrous gift, but more than anything in this life I want to become the man who deserves your love and trust."
Cassandra touched his cheek and smiled. "You already are, my love."
"But what of Kelsey?" Anomen asked. "If we are to be together, he will need to be told that he is no longer the man in your life—and told soon."
"I know, Anomen, but how can I? I don't think he even suspects that I have feelings for you. I know you don't like him, but he has never been anything but loving and kind to me. How can I hurt him like this?"
"Cassandra, say the word and I will claim you as my own in front of Kelsey, and the world if need be!" Anomen declared grandly.
She shook her head in amused exasperation. "I know you would, Anomen. You'd probably enjoy it, too!"
Anomen grinned. "Why should I not? I have vanquished many foes before, but none have yielded so sweet a prize."
"Anomen, he's not my foe!" Cassandra exclaimed.
Anomen sobered. "Apologies, my lady. I know you care for him and do not wish to see him hurt. But how can you not tell him? After we have been together like this, and declared our love for each other, could you go back to him, lie with him, and pretend nothing has changed?"
"No." Cassandra said softly, unable to meet his eyes.
"He would not thank you for such a deception, either. You may consider this convenient glibness, since I do not want to lose another minute with you," he smiled and stroked her hair, "but if you truly wish to be with me, I fear that the longer you wait the angrier and more betrayed he will feel."
Cassandra sighed. "I know you're right, Anomen, but I just dread it, I dread hurting him like this!" She paused and looked thoughtful for a few moments. "But I must" she said quietly. Resolve in her eyes, she got up and began collecting her clothes.
"Now? So soon?" Anomen said in surprise. "I had hoped we could have more time together."
"You know I would like nothing better than to spend the night here with you, but I must get back to my room. If Kelsey returns and finds me missing, I am afraid he will rouse the whole inn looking for me."
Anomen raised an eyebrow. "I want the world to know of our love for each other, but perhaps not quite so precipitously. As you wish, now it is. I will go with you to insure that he does not harm you in anger."
"Kelsey won't hurt me, love. And considering how you two feel about each other, your presence would certainly not make this any easier. No, this is something I have to do alone."
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Cassandra approached the door of the room she shared with Kelsey and saw with horror that it was open slightly and light was coming from within. Oh gods! He's back already! she thought. But perhaps he has just returned and isn't concerned by my absence.
She took a deep breath to steady herself, and tentatively pushed the door open. Kelsey was sitting on the bed fully clothed, his head in his hands. He looked up at the sound of the door opening, and one glance at the frozen mask of his face told her all she needed to know. He knew. Somehow, he knew.
He stared at her without speaking. Not knowing what else to do, she said, "K-kelsey?"
His voice startled her. "You know, Cassandra, I was just sitting here wondering what excuse you would give me for not being here when I returned. What lie you would tell to keep me from finding out that you were screwing Anomen!"
He got up and began to furiously pace the room. "I came back early, you know. I was actually feeling guilty about leaving you alone so I came back to spend some time with you. When I got back and you weren't here I was a little concerned. I thought Jaheira might know where you were so I went to her room to ask her."
He stopped and stared off into the middle distance for a moment, and then turned stony eyes to her face. "Did you know that Jaheira's room is just down the hall from Anomen's?" She shook her head mutely, too dazed to speak. "I didn't either. Hells, I had no idea where his room was. So imagine my surprise when I heard your voice…and his voice, coming from that room. Saying things and…and…doing things to each other that I thought—naively, as it turns out—that you only did with me."
Kelsey's voice hardened. "How long has this been going on? How many times have you slept with Anomen? I think I deserve to know."
Cassandra did her best to keep the quaver out of her voice as she answered him. "Tonight was the first time—the only time. We…I didn't plan for it to happen, it just happened."
"Oh, and I suppose now you are going to say that it was all a terrible mistake." Kelsey's voice was bitter. "That you're sorry, and to trust you that it will never happen again."
Cassandra knew there was no point in trying to soften the blow. "No, Kelsey," she said quietly. "I came back here tonight to tell you that I love Anomen and want to be with him." Cassandra thought Kelsey could not look more pained and stricken than he had before. She was wrong.
Kelsey was momentarily shocked speechless. "You are telling me that you not only slept with Anomen, but you are in love with him and you are going to leave me for him?" He paused for a moment, and when he continued, his voice shook with emotion. "Am I that worthless to you that a few words from another are all it takes for you to abandon me? After I stand by you, believe in you, fight for you... What is it that I did not do for you? What would drive you to—to him? Does he hold you when the Slayer taunts you inside, or when you are too tired from battle to stand? Has he spent hours lying awake watching over you, kissing your forehead to try to stop the nightmares?"
Cassandra turned away, unable to bear the pain in his eyes. "Kelsey, you have been as loving and supportive as any woman could wish for, and I care for you very much. That hasn't changed." She looked up, forcing herself to meet his eyes, all the while wishing there was something she could say to make this easier for him. "What has changed is that now I know I love Anomen want to be with him."
Kelsey exploded. "That's another thing I don't understand! If this was the only time you've been together and you say you didn't even plan it, how could you possibly be in love with the man? I can't believe he's that good in bed."
Cassandra sat down on the bed; when she spoke, her voice shaking with emotion. "Kelsey, if you're determined to believe that I am a conniving, heartless woman who never really loved you, I won't try to convince you otherwise. It may even bring you some comfort to believe that. But if you really want to know what I think caused this mess, why I love Anomen, I can try to explain it to you. I'm not trying to excuse what I did, and I know it won't make it any easier or less painful for you, but if you want the truth, I can give you that."
After several days in Saradush, they rarely consciously noted the thud of the missiles from the catapults; it had become a normal accompaniment to every conversation. But this one they heard. It screamed over the inn in its flight and hit with a deafening crash that shook the entire building. Without thinking, Kelsey rushed to Cassandra's side and took her in his arms.
It was soon obvious that their part of the inn had not been hit and the danger was over, and Kelsey awkwardly released her. But Cassandra clung to him, her resolve melted by his familiar embrace. She sobbed into his shoulder. "I'm so sorry, Kelsey, I didn't want this to happen. I didn't want to hurt you! I'm so sorry!" Kelsey did not respond, but held her for a few moments until she regained her composure and pulled away.
Kelsey looked at her tear-stained face and sighed. "I must be the biggest fool in the Realms, Cassandra, but if you want to tell me the truth, I'll listen."
Her voice still ragged from crying, Cassandra asked him, "Do you remember the day after we liberated De'Arnise Keep? When Anomen tried to force you to leave the group, and then demanded that I choose between the two of you?"
"Of course I remember that day, it was the first time you told me you loved me. It was the happiest day in my life except for the first time we…" Kelsey stopped short and reddened. "I remember."
"Well, that was the start of it all…"