Notes: Special thanks to my beta, Renee. You are more than a beta and you know it! I'm a feedback Brooke, I mean bitch so make my day and send me a review or two, okay?

Warning: S4 spoilers.

"We need to buy you a new bed," Peyton rolled her eyes and bit her bottom lip, trying desperately to prevent a sarcastic comment from leaving her mouth. Larry Sawyer had never been a man of few words, always talking about his feelings and always sitting his daughter down to do so. Peyton, who was the type to keep her emotions buried deep inside of her, had dreaded those conversations.

But now her father couldn't seem to get a complete thought out. He was constantly talking in circles, trying to avoid telling her about the attack, always insinuating that it happened but never actually saying it. This new found 'ability' her father had was driving her absolutely crazy.

He had been like this since she had woken up, but she was being discharged today, and all morning his words had been even more arcane than usual…at least he was trying to be that way, that catch was, Peyton already knew what happened to her, she could fill in the missing parts of his statements, but she didn't.

She choose to play dumb, partly to see how long he could keep up the charade and partly to watch him squirm while trying to find an answer, it might've been cruel, but there was no reason for her father to treat her this way, like she was still a little girl.

"Because the old was what? I mean, it seemed just fine to me." Her tone was harsh and she waited, but he didn't answer her. It was almost funny, the fact that he, as well as Nathan and Lucas, had tried to hide the truth from her…almost.

At one point, she had been ready to ask them exactly how she wound up in the hospital, she planned on throwing a fit until they told her. If she had done that then there wouldn't be anymore walking on broken glass when they were around her, no more dancing around the truth, maybe then things could go back to normal, or as close to normal as possible.

But she hadn't asked that, instead she had bitten her tongue and looked away.

Larry couldn't help the sigh that escaped his lips. Peyton's patience was nonexistence these days. His daughter was known to have a temper, but most of the time she hid it. He could count on one hand how many times she had lost control, but over the last few days that had changed.

"I'll go see if Karen has the car ready," he said, doing his best to avoid an argument with her.

If she was surprised by that she didn't show. The last two weeks, Karen was like her guardian angel. Peyton had laughed bitterly with that thought. Her guardian angel that didn't guard her at all. The thought surfaced in her mind, but deep inside she knew that Karen wasn't the one to blame.

Neither was Brooke or Lucas for that matter. When Lucas had called her and asked her to stay away from him for a few days, she had respected his wish. After all, he did have the right to try and salvage his relationship with Brooke.

And eventually she was going to have to face the face that she was nothing more to him than a friend. Not a good one either. How could she be a good friend when she didn't want him to be just her friend? She wanted more from him. In fact, she wanted him.

For her.

Only for her.

Peyton watched her dad talking with some doctors on his way out. She had been a bitch to him but she couldn't stop herself. It was like everything he said or did was a red flag to her. And it wasn't like that with only him. Yesterday she had snapped at Haley for something so unimportant that she couldn't remember it two hours later.

A psychiatrist had come to see her. The hospital's shrink was a standard precaution for that type of situation. He didn't ask her questions like she expected. Instead, they talked about the attack and Peyton confessed that she remembered most of it, but asked him not to tell anyone. She didn't need or want their pity.

"What about their love and worry, I suppose you don't need that either?" he had asked her and Peyton looked at him for a minute before asking him to leave her alone.

Peyton sat up. Very slowly. Her back was hurting like hell with every movement and she felt like she was going to split in half. She wasn't well enough to be out of the hospital, but she couldn't stay another night in the damn place…there were too many bad memories.

Feeling dizzy, she took few deep breaths and tried to relax. The tenser she was the worse she hurt, and she was extremely tense. She had stopped taking the pills despite the arguments with her doctor. She wanted to feel the pain, needed to feel it just to know she was alive.

Feeling like she had spent an eternity lying in a hospital bed, Peyton decided that she had enough. Very slowly, she put her feet to the floor and tried to stand up. Her knees were weak and she was forced to sit back down. Taking a deep breath, she tried again and this time she succeeded staying up for few seconds before collapsing into two powerful arms.

"Damn, Sawyer. What are you trying to do, huh? Kill yourself?"

"No, just trying to walk," she was weak after her little adventure and her voice showed that, "what are you doing here Nate? Aren't you supposed to be in school?"

"Your dad said you were going to be released today, so I skipped school for you," he smiled but inside he cursed as he took in her appearance.

How much weight she had lost? He had felt her bones through her clothes. Looking closer he could see that her cheekbones were sunken in and her collarbone was protruding sharply from under her skin.

"If you didn't skip school on every little occasion, I would feel special."

"I guess," Nathan was glad to see her smile, "Besides, school is no fun without you there."

"Haley dropped out of high school?" She looked at him for a moment before adding, "Again?"

"That was low Sawyer," he tried to look angry, but he laughed. A few months ago, he wouldn't have laughed, but now he was just glad that he could, and that she could as well.

"You look like shit," Peyton said and Nathan looked at her with surprise. Was it that obvious that he was still trying to deal with everything…the car accident, Cooper's death and her beating.

Peyton had been beating…almost to death. Peyton's dead. NO! She's alive. Peyton is alive. Not dead….she's not dead. She'll be fine…she's going to be just fine.

Nathan couldn't stop the unpleasant thoughts from trampling around in his head.

With Cooper's death, the last thing he needed to hear was that he had almost lost Peyton too.

Sure she was alive, and the doctor's said that she would eventually be just fine, but Nathan couldn't get the image of Peyton lying cold and alone on her bed, the life literally beaten out of her.

He had fabricated the image in his own mind, but it still seemed so real, and he couldn't stop seeing it, no matter how hard he tried, no matter how many times he reminded himself that Peyton had made it, that she was alive…that image of her body stretched lifelessly across the blood stained mattresses haunted him.

"Hey, Nate? You okay?" she asked when she saw the lost look in his eyes.

"Wh-What?"

"Are you okay? You look a little pale."

"And what are you then?" He closed his eyes right after that. Peyton didn't need his attitude or his problems, "I'm sorry Peyt. I just…I could have lost you too and I don't think I can bear to lose another person…I can't bear to lose you."

"I'm not going anywhere," Peyton said and then, trying to ease the tension in the room, she pointed at the wheelchair next to her bed, "Not without you, that is."

This time, Nathan gave a genuine smile, nothing hidden behind it.

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"Is this seat taken?" Haley asked Brooke and sat down when the other girl shook her head.

Haley had been watching Brooke and she didn't like that the new broody brunette. Broody was a Lucas or a Peyton thing to do, not Brooke's. Of course all of them had changed throughout the years, Nathan being the perfect example of that, but Brooke was always a cheerful person.

It was part of her charm and Haley was jealous of that. 'When the things get tough, the tough keep going'. That was Brooke. Optimism to Peyton's pessimism. It was then that Haley suddenly realized what was wrong with Brooke.

She was out of balance. Brooke and Peyton were like two parts of a circle. The ying and the yang without the sexual thing. They completed each other in a strange…in a very strange and very weird way.

"Have you seen Peyton today?"

"Please tell me you didn't just ask me that," Brooke started to play with her bottle of water, pulling the label out.

"Brooke, she's just confused. You know Peyton better than anyone, okay? She probably needs time," Haley said and took a bite of her homemade sandwich.

"What she probably needs right now is to see my head on a plate."

"Wait, did you pay attention in class today?" Haley asked with a mouthful of food, attempting to lighten to mood. She raised her eyebrow when Brooke gave her a nasty look, "What?"

"Have you ever felt like, you did something to solve a problem, only to realize that the problem is still there, only bigger?"

"Can you be any more specific?" Haley joked but something in Brooke's eyes said to her that things were more serious than she thought.

"Brooke, did something happen between Peyton and you?" When she didn't get an answer she tried to approach the subject differently, "Is this uh, problem, is it an old problem or a new one?"

"An old one, a really old one," Brooke said after a while.

"Oookay," Haley bit her lip, "And it's still there? Even after, you know, the right thing you did?"

"Yeah," Brooke sighed deeply, "It's always there, with or without Pe..the right thing I did."

"Maybe the solution is not the problem. Maybe the problem is the real…you know, problem," Haley tried to explain but failed. This whole thing was more complicated than the Gordian knot, "I can't tell you what to do but, talk to them. Talk to both of them."

"I talked to one part of the problem," Brooke admitted.

"And?" Haley took a sip from her orange juice.

"And since yesterday Lucas and I, well let's just say there isn't a 'Lucas and I' anymore," Haley spitted orange juice all over the table.

"I've got my spine, I've got my orange crush," Brooke whispered before leaving Haley alone, and, oddly, Haley found herself thinking when Brooke had started to recite R.E.M

God, when will things stop being so freaking complicated?

TBC…