A/N: Apologies to everyone who's been hoping for an update for the past…ugh, year and a half. I'm horrible, I know.
Sephy-chan99: Intrigued; what's the Temple of Mewtwo forum? Mewtwo's character is gonna get a bit darker as the fic progresses, so just be patient!
Zephyr Analea, Mewtwo's Amore: Very cool name. How can you be dumbstruck at something like this?
Q5: Thank you!
YunCyn: I have just about all the Pokemon cartridges, and Eevee does evolve into Umbreon at night provided it has a strong bond of friendship with its trainer. Just worked on that idea. I don't do slushy stuff too often; just hoping it all works out!
Darkiris: Again, thank you!
Cosmic Mewtwo: And one year of writer's block later, I finally update. Profound and dramatic? Are we reading the same stuff? Penumbra's name was a bit of a giveaway!
Miah the Storm Wolf: The climax of the story isn't due to happen for a while yet, so you don't have to panic about not understanding all the crap I keep writing.
Sonikkane: Lemony…put it this way, it's the anime term for sex scenes. There's not gonna be anything graphic; I've tried to do this tastefully and probably failed. (Don't tell the censors, pleeeeeeeeease!!)
Sierrakoi: 'Dear Cell' got removed. Can I say grotesquely unfair?
Izzy: I'm not exactly a fan of sappy stuff myself. All the crap like 'can't live without you' and 'love you forever' are just waaaay too corny and crass for my liking.
VMorticia: Several months too late, but here goes. Had crap second year at uni, had a leg operation during the holidays, split up with my boyfriend, and had to move out of my flat. But that's all history, and I'm pretty chirpy at the mo.
Nightdragon0: Romance, angst and drama. Really?
Disclaimer: Own Sashara and Penumbra. Really wish I owned Mewtwo, but like everything else, he and the rest of the Pokemon franchise belong to Nintendo, 4Kids, and Satoshi Tajiri.
'My Last Breath' is taken from Evanescence's album 'Fallen'. Lyrics are in italics.
Read Frankenstein to get motivated. Said creation is the property of Mary Shelley.
Warning: This part has one sex scene in it, approved by majority vote, and it's what I would rate as closer to R than anything else. Nothing graphic and fairly short, but if you don't like, don't read. And don't say I didn't warn you.
Italics denote shifting POV.
Forgotten: Part 13
"Shall each man', cried he, 'find a wife for his bosom, and each beast have his mate, and I be alone?"
The Monster, Frankenstein
Need.
Want.
Craving.
Humans have several names that they so lightly bestow on what they see as the most base and primal urge. An urge they believe they can kill.
Desire.
They refuse to acknowledge what drives desire, what drives their urges, their needs.
They are driven by nothing less than passion.
For months I had tried and failed to repress the surges of sheer emotion, and later desire, that Sashara's presence had evoked in me.
I had passed it off as a weakness, a feeling as unnatural as myself. A being such as myself should never feel the desire to mate, never to need the touch of another, never to feel true pleasure.
I had tried to kill my passion, as so many humans believe is possible.
But passion can never be killed.
It feeds and nourishes the smallest feelings. It gives life to dead emotions. It can strengthen and weaken with a touch.
It hurts, at times far more than we can bear. If we could live without passion, then maybe we would possess some form of inner peace.
But without passion, we would be nothing but hollow shells, empty rooms left dank and dark.
Without passion, we would truly be dead.
They had been warned well.
In the far reaches of the Orange Archipelago, the harmony of Fire, Ice and Lightening called to each other as they felt the surge of emotion.
In the depths of the ocean, the Water's Great Guardian shut its eyes and sang at the power it sensed.
The rainbow phoenix bathed in the fires of eternal life, urging the distant ones to feel the burning of their hearts.
The skies blazed, the heavens rumbled, and the earth burned as the Beasts ran, spurred on by the strength of passion.
The leaves whispered in the breeze as the Traveler flitted through the Ilex forest, trying to deny the pain it felt in its heart.
An elegant gold-ringed shadow faded into the caves of the mountain, not wanting to bear witness to the undoing of its two dearest friends.
A sparkling vapor trail streamed out from behind the ancestor of all Pokemon as it departed from Mount Caina, sparing only a glance at the two beings tangled in each other's arms as they lay in the grass.
It would begin and end tonight.
And then…it would be time to start once more.
Hold onto me love
There was no need for words now.
Anticipation and need were tightening the knot in the base of my stomach to a frightening degree as Sashara pressed her body flush against mine, her arms looping around my neck, pulling me down onto her...
You know I can't stay long
I didn't so much hear her sigh as feel her sigh. Her eyes were shut in what seemed to be pleasure.
Her hands rested against my chest, trembling slightly as they slid up and over my shoulders... slender fingers curling against my neck as she pulled my head down to hers, close enough to kiss.
I forced myself to breathe as her nails dragged against my fur, down my back…digging slowly into the base of my tail.
One hand pressed hard against my chest, pushing me up and away from her, the other working at first at the collar of her shirt, then at her belt buckle. With movement born of desire, I tugged and loosened her remaining clothing until she lay back against the grass, bare skin next to mine.
All I wanted to say was I love you and I'm not afraid.
She was frightened, that much I could tell from her body alone. Every muscle was tensed and her eyes were clamped shut.
As if she was waiting for something...
No.
This would not do.
She was unconsciously associating physicality with pain.
And I had vowed that I would never hurt her in that way.
Need overrode uncertainty as I massaged the base of her neck and the small of her back, watching her face as her eyes opened, staring up at me, her gaze dark with fear and desire...
Her gaze alone was having a startling effect on both my body and the few areas of my mind still capable of rational thought.
But the scars along her shoulders and neck shocked me back to my senses.
Can you hear me?
I pulled back slightly as I traced a scar along her neck with a paw.
'Who…when…?'
She shivered and looked away.
'A…present…from the scientists…before I was frozen…'
The number of scars across her body that I would have to discover was a subject I didn't want to have to think about.
But now…there would be no more pain for her.
I pulled her against me, burying my face against her neck and kissing each scar, hearing her cry out at every touch.
Her nails started digging hard into my back, at one point so strongly that I could feel the skin tearing. They would leave superficial scratches at the most, none of which would hinder me in my current actions.
Can you feel me in your arms?
She was shivering again. Whether in fear or need, I couldn't tell.
But I knew that nothing would happen without her consent. And I would wait for that for as long as she needed.
Her arms tightened around my neck as she pulled herself against my chest, looping her legs over my hips. I tried not to gasp as I felt my body respond to her movements in a way that I had once believed I would never experience.
Dazedly, I met her gaze, almost praying that she would consent, if only to lift the feeling of sheer need building at the base of my stomach.
Her breath came in short gasps as she stared up at me.
And nodded.
Holding my last breath
I blinked to try and clear the haze that had settled in my mind.
She had consented.
But my inexperience…and my instinct warring with my intellect…
Sashara wound her body tighter against mine, pulling me down again. Instinct won as I braced myself against her and curled an arm around her shoulders, brushing a kiss across her forehead.
Safe inside myself
Then…pain.
Both for her and myself.
Nothing intolerable, but unnerving for a moment.
It passed quickly enough.
And instinct once again took control.
Are all my thoughts of you?
My memories of that time, even now, remain blurred.
But I remember her against me.
Her muscles tightening around me.
Her breathing growing ever more shallow.
Her voice pleading with me to move faster.
Her skin slick with sweat.
Her body arcing up against mine.
And finally, the feelings of need and desire and pleasure coiling in upon themselves and imploding, rolling through me…
Sweet raptured life, it ends here tonight…
I recall a burst of white light in my mind as I finally stopped moving, letting my body sink gratefully onto the grass…
And then blissful unconsciousness.
The heat of the sun on my back eventually forced me to wake up, my mind still foggy from the previous night, but more than willing to offer up a few…rather choice images.
I could feel the corners of my mouth curling upwards in a small, brief smile.
The knowledge of human and Pokemon mating rituals I had gleaned from the computers in the Viridian Gym had mentioned the physical pleasure I had experienced, but they had never made reference to any forms of emotions felt during mating.
Certainly, there had been physical pleasure for myself, and I hoped, for Sashara herself.
But the emotions…
I let out a breath I hadn't realised I was holding.
The closeness we were still learning how to share, the protectiveness and attraction I felt towards her, the comfort and pleasure I had experienced in her arms…
…The knowledge of being allowed to love, and love her completely…and yet not say it to her…
My eyes snapped open at that thought. She had gained the courage to say what she felt for me, and I…I had done something, but said nothing in return.
No.
This would not do.
I had to tell her, now. She had to know that I loved her…
I raised myself to my knees to wake her, to tell her…
The indentation of her body was marked in the grass.
Where…?
Her clothes were gone and she was nowhere to be seen.
I Teleported to the lake, my mind racing in panic.
Her pack and bedroll were missing.
I reached out mentally, trying to sense her life-force and that of Penumbra.
Nothing.
I tore out of the caverns and soared into the skies above Mount Caina, eyes frantically scanning the landscape for any sign of her or the Dark Pokemon who had appointed itself as her companion.
…To the west.
Two life-forms on foot, travelling towards New Bark Town.
The registration point for all Pokemon Trainers entering the Johto League.
Her original purpose. The purpose Giovanni had intended for her.
One in which I could never be with her.
Why now?
Why had her programming surfaced now, when I had finally discovered what love was?
Why had she left me?
Why did Giovanni take her away from me?
I threw my head back and howled.
On the outskirts of New Bark Town, a Pokemon Trainer watched the sun rise over the mountains, her eyes squinting against the orange light, ignoring the fear building in her stomach.
Her Pokemon, an Umbreon and a Cyndaquill, watched her silently; the latter out of curiosity, the former as a distraction from its own pain.
The Traveller had told Half-Shadow of what was to come, and that this would only be the beginning of one of the most painful journeys that a human or a Pokemon could ever face.
It didn't make it any easier for the Umbreon.
But the time had passed where it had had choice in the matter. What was done was done.
Now it was up to his Trainer to decide what to do.
She continued to watch as the sun rose over the mountains to the north, Penumbra and Cyndaquill sitting beside her in amiable silence.
Where he would be.
Safe in the depths of Mount Caina.
Perhaps he was waking up even now.
Maybe he would be alone.
Or maybe Mew would be with him, as she always seemed to be when he was in distress.
She closed her eyes, refusing to let her tears fall.
Would he know what she had done?
Would he understand?
She shook her head. These weren't the thoughts of a Trainer.
And that was what she was always meant to be.
Sashara Giovanni glanced down at the Trainer's Licence in her hands and turned away from the sunrise.
The Johto League called to her.
It was time to start again.
TBC