Chapter 1- Blood Smells Like Fear
disclaimer- I dont own FF7AC, nor any of the characters from it. Uh...I do not claim to own them...I do not own any music I use as songs on here unless I say I do :P
K adaj looked out of the car window silently, after Kadaj had told Cloud about his friend in the hospital, Cloud had put him in the car, taking him there immediantly, though it had taken a while to wake up Loz after he had fallen asleep, Yazoo was no problem, now they were pretty drowsy in the back, but didnt sleep, wanting to support their brother, sensing his pain quite easily.
Kadaj didnt turn his head around, he hated people seeing him cry. Cloud watched the road in deep thought, seeing tears, and so many too had in its own way cut a deep hole in his heart. When he saw the pain in his brothers eyes, he knew he HAD to get him to the hospital, and soon. If Kadaj blamed himself he would usually crawl in Clouds closet in his room, sulking for a while, before Cloud finally after a few hours would crawl in after him and comfort him. Even at 17 he tended to do this often...suprisingly he had a tender heart.
Cloud
remembered when Kadaj was 12, when he had first came, he always tried
to act like he understood what was going on, but truth be told, he
hadnt a clue. He thought Mom had just gone on vacation and would be
home later, and it hurt too much to tell him the truth, so Cloud let
him learn on his own, having not enough courage himself. For a long
time Yazoo closed the world out. Hed often be in his room(which was
Clouds old room that he decided to claim as his own) with his
headphones on full blast, eyes shut in the dark room, sitting on his
bed leaning against the backboard with his chin on his knees almost
and his head resting helplessly on his arm, eyes blank. He did this
everyday, and when it was finally time for school, hed just throw on
anything in sight, normally some of Clouds pants and a random shirt,
since he himself didnt own much clothing. He would always drag
around and got slacky on his hair, so that more than often Cloud
would have to sit him down and brush his long hair. Loz was often
out with his friends, and sometimes missed a few days of school, but
made it up very easily, so it really didnt matter, so Cloud didnt
fret over him as much, but he still was a handful at times, and when
upset would get pretty violent, Yazoo had quite a few scars to prove
it.
But...Kadaj was different. He stayed right under
Cloud...Like a shadow, always there every second, and when Cloud had
to go to work hed stay on the couch and wait, which he still did
everyday. He never spoke, he was just there, but his eyes showed he
had many hidden questions. Perhaps he was too afraid to ask, or
maybe even embarassed, but he never did ask Cloud anything that he
truly wanted to know, that he NEEDED to know, so Cloud didnt
say anything either,even though he knew he should.
Cloud shut his eyes in the memory, how often he got lost in memories of them all..they were dear to his heart. The hospital was in sight finally. Kadaj felt his heart bang hard, in worry, and nervous couldnt begin to sum it up. 'Denzel...' Cloud looked over at Kadaj, he was indeed lost in a totally different world...one that Cloud wouldnt want to be in for anything, he knew oh too well Kadaj had a very warped mind, you never knew what was going on in it. Its strange how the past influences your future so much, sad how your life is being summed up every second. Cloud parked the car and Kadaj raced out quickly and darted into the emergency room doors. Yazoo was quick to follow him, knowing he often got himself in trouble. Cloud locked the car and followed after them. Loz stayed in the car listening to music with Clouds car keys that Cloud didnt know he swiped. Yazoo and Cloud kept a strong watch on Kadaj at all times.
Kadaj saw the nurse's lounge in site. He gulped and walked toward it slowly. What he wouldn't give for it to be him instead of Denzel in there. He sighed and looked at the nurse. She had long brown hair and matching eyes, and wore a common nurse outfit, minus the hat. She looked to be in her late 20's, and was looking down at a book boredly. "What is Denzel H's(yes i made this up too) room number?" She looked up from the book and scooted over to the computer, typing in the name. She then looked at him. "122." She said, then grabbed her book and began reading again.
Kadaj looked behind him to see if Cloud and Yazoo were still there, and of course they were. Yazoo smiled at him and winked. Cloud half-smiled and nodded. Kadaj nodded back and began walking past some more doors labeled Therapy, Employees Only, Oxygen, etc. He sighed, hating the gray and white hall ways. He almost stopped and turned to leave, but suddenly felt a hand on his shoulder. He looked up, seeing Yazoo. Yazoo smiled warmly, gently, calmly. Instantly a wave of relief flooded over Kadaj. He smiled back a bit weakly and kept walking. Cloud was a bit ahead and had the elevator button pre-pressed. Kadaj and Yazoo ran to catch up and got in the elevator just in time.(yes i know the elevator door stops if you put your hand there, BUT OH WELL! XP) Kadaj had his eyes shut, not wanting to see his first few steps out of the elevator. The elevator door opened, and it took every amount of will-power for Kadaj to step out. He opened his eyes and gulped at the first sight he saw...face to face. Denzel looked at him with cold brown eyes. "Well be down-stairs." Yazoo said, and before Cloud or Kadaj could object, Yazoo had Cloud in the elevator with the door shutting, waving bye to his poor brother.
Kadaj turned back with a horrified look at Denzel. Denzel apparently didnt feel like wearing hospital clothes, because he had on baggy pants and a baggy T-shirt. Denzel just watched him, waiting for him to make his move. Their eyes met, and Kadaj backed up a bit, not knowing what to do. He looked at the ground after a while and said,"Why aren't you in your room?" Denzel laughed a bit. "I get a break." He said simply. "Where were you going to go?" Kadaj asked. Denzel looked at the ground and smiled sadly. "Doesn't matter." He said and with that he walked into the elevator. "NO!" Kadaj yelled, pulling him out and into his arms. He sobbed and hugged him tightly. Denzel shook a bit and tried pushing away, hurt, but after a while he couldn't help it and gave in, resting his head against Kadaj's chest. Kadaj sobbed in his hair, and Denzel sobbed in his chest. Kadaj saw dried blood and stitches on Denzel's wrist. How much blood smelled like fear.
Kadaj let go after a while and pushed Denzel a little bit away, lifting his chin up so that Denzel saw into his eyes. "I'm sorry." Kadaj said. Denzel smiled, but it was a smile of pain...deep pain. "Don't worry, I won't be a burden much longer." He whispered. He then put a hand gently on Kadaj's cheek and his smile changed to a much happier looking one. "Thank you...for just that moment...it eased my mind...thank you." He said. Kadaj shook a bit and felt some tears come to his eyes. Denzel smiled still, and used his thumb to gently wipe them away. "Don't be sad, it's alright, the pain will be gone." Kadaj looked him straight in the eyes and saw doubt. "Not even you believe that." Kadaj said quietly. Denzel laughed a bit. "Always was able to see through deception." Kadaj looked to the side. "What made you do it? Tell me about it that is...what suddenly gave you the courage?" He asked looking at him. Denzel looked deep into his eyes. "I thought I didn't have anything to lose, but I was wrong." Kadaj raised an eyebrow. "Why would you-" "My parents died." Kadajs eyes widened. "They died," Denzel continued, "A car wreck. I was home alone that morning, they had gone to work, they crashed into a drunk driver, and ran off the road. Glass went through my mother's head, and my dad burned to death." Kadaj watched him, unable to speak. "Their funeral is tommorrow, I plan to go to it." Kadaj looked at the ground. "I would say sorry, but from personal experience I know that never really helps." Denzel nodded. "That's why I have to get out of here..But they refuse, they say that if I live alone, they are afraid of what I'll do to myself." Kadaj looked up at him. "So, Ill be stuck here for a while, then probably sent to mental rehab." Kadaj looked to the side. "What if...what if you lived with me?" Denzel looked up at him, wide eyed. "Next week I'll be 18, able to live on my own, so why not? We can rent an apartment, we'll manage." Denzel looked sad. "Why would you do that for me? You must be joking to hurt me.." He said and shook his head, walking off. Kadaj sighed. "Denzel-" A nurse appeared out of nowhere,"Visiting hours are over Denzel, back to your room." She said. Denzel rolled his eyes and walked back toward his room. "But-" Kadaj began, the nurse put a finger up. "You can visit tommorrow." She said and walked away, ending the arugment just like that.
Kadaj sighed and looked at the ground for a while, before deciding to go back to his brothers. He got in the elevator, feeling empty and pushed the buttons, waiting. The door opened, revealing two waiting figures. Kadaj sighed miserably. Cloud growled. "See, Yazoo, I told you we should have stayed!" Yazoo raised an eyebrow. "what went wrong...?" Kadaj shook his head. "We're coming back tommorrow." He mumbled and walked past the two figures, obviously not feeling like giving them an explanation. Cloud furrowed his eyes in frustration, Yazoo looked really worried, both followed after a while, running to keep up with Kadaj's pace.
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:) Soo what will Denzel do? How will Cloud and Yazoo react to Kadaj's behavior? Perhaps Cloud will suprise us...-arashi