Chapter 2- Lost Thoughts

disclaimer-...Square Enix and what not own them not me...I do not claim to own them...etc...

K, its the next day, a Saturday.

K adaj sat at the dinner table in the kitchen quietly, head on his arms. Loz was somewhere with his friends, Yazoo was in his room studying. Cloud was in the living room, in thought of how to aproach his brother in a correct manner and find out what was wrong. He sighed and stood up, he decided to just wing it. He walked in and saw Kadaj. How his heart ached to help him. He walked up to him and put a hand on his head. "Kadaj,", he began, "Tell me what's wrong." Kadaj shook his head, not speaking. Cloud sighed, "Are you leaving?" He asked quietly, pained. "With Denzel." Kadaj added. Cloud narrowed his eyes in sadness. "But why...where will you go...?" Kadaj looked up at him. "Far away from here Nii-san." He said to him, staring him straight in the eyes. Cloud nodded sadly. "What will you do, what are YOUR dreams?" He asked. Kadaj shook his head. "I have none, just lost thoughts, and those never get you anywhere." Cloud stared him back straight in the eyes. "You have dreams Kadaj, I know you do." He said. Kadaj shook his head again, "They don't matter." Cloud shook his head. "Yes, they do." He said. Kadaj sighed. "I just want to go somewhere far away...somewhere peaceful..rent an apartment...and..." Cloud watched him, waiting for an answer. "I want to sell art work, I want to be an artist in so manner words, anything just as long as we make the money..." Cloud nodded while listening to him. "Why must you leave me though?" He asked, hurt sounding. Kadaj was suprised, never hearing hurt in his voice before.

Kadaj watched him wide-eyed, but Cloud kept his hurt gaze. Kadaj finally smiled gently and stood, walking over to his beloved Nii-san. He hugged him tightly suddenly. Cloud jumped a bit, confused but relaxed in Kadaj's grasp. "There is a war I'm fighting in right now ,Nii-san. Right now I'm the last soldier on the field, I gotta win the war before it wins me, alright?" Cloud looked up at him, eyes about eight inches apart, Kadaj resting his head against Cloud's staring into each other's eyes, looking for understanding. "It's me against the world." Kadaj finished and eskimo kissed Cloud and walked off toward the stairs, before Cloud could ask anything. Cloud sighed and looked at the table where Kadaj had his head earlier. 'why can't it all be a dream?' he thought sadly.
Kadaj sighed, exhausted mentally and physically. 'I'm becoming worthless.' he thought and rubbed his forehead tiredly, walking up the stairs. He sighed and walked past his brother's room, hearing Emotionless playing:
It's been a long hard road without you by my side
Why weren't you there all the nights that we cried
You broke my mother's heart, you broke your children for life
It's not OK but we're alright
I will remember the days you were a hero in my eyes
But those were just a long lost memory of mine
I spent so many years learning how to survive
Now I'm writing just to let you know I'm still alive

The days I spent so cold, so hungry, were full of hate
I was so angry, the scars run deep inside this tattooed body
There's things I'll take to my grave, but I'm OK, I'm OK
Kadaj looked at the ground. So much Yazoo hid. Kadaj often wondered when his brother would break, everyone and everything has a breaking point, denial will never change that. It was obvious he searched for music to fit his attitude. Yazoo prefered sadder bands such as SImple Plan, Linkin Park, Good Charlotte, Lifehouse, and Yellowcard. Kadaj did like Yellowcard, but he was more into harder more angry stuff like H.I.M. or A.F.I. Loz prefered a mix of both, and Cloud liked anything that played, except oldies, then he might just stab himself.
Kadaj gripped the knob to his room and opened the door, shutting it quietly and locking it. Suprisingly his room was pretty neat, he didn't stay in it much. He sat on his bed and took his navy jacket on his table when his cell phone went off. Even from his pocket the light that came from it when it rang was bright compared to the dark room. Kadaj had always kept his room dark, it allowed him to think. He walked to the table and picked up the phone. He narrowed his eyes at the number. 'No way...' He gulped and opened the phone, "D-denzel.."

Cloud sighed and rubbed the bridge of his nose. He sat on the couch in the living room. Yazoo's head was in his lap, looking up playing a nintendo ds. Cloud was stroking his hair gently. Both were quiet. It was obvious they were worried. Loz sat by Cloud on the opposite side, watching tv boredly. "Nii-san," Yazoo mumbled suddenly, "I don't like Denzel." Cloud looked down at him and smiled gently. "Why?" He asked. Yazoo kept his eyes on the game almost as if he didn't want to show he cared. "It's like he's using Kadaj, and I don't like that." Cloud shook his head. "No, he's just Kadaj's friend..." Yazoo looked off the game now at him. The look in his eyes made Cloud freeze. Sephiroth always had that ability too. "He's making him feel really bad about stuff he shouldn't." Cloud looked to the side. "It's just how Kadaj is...I..." Yazoo looked at him anxious to hear what he was about to say. "Nii-san." Kadaj called, running down the stairs, "lets go see Denzel." Yazoo shot him an 'I told you look.' Cloud sighed and Yazoo sat up letting him go. He turned the game off. "I'm coming." He said. Cloud looked at Loz. Loz shook his head. "Sure?" Cloud asked. Loz nodded. "Cya." Loz said. Cloud and Yazoo nodded.
Outside it was cold. The sky was dark as if it was about to snow. Hardly anyone was outside. It was the end of fall, soon to be winter and it was already pretty cold. There wasn't any breeze right now, if there was it would prolly be 5 degrees cooler. Lightly a few flakes of snow started falling. The planets heart ached at times so it cried. The sadder it was the icier the tears. Yazoo, Kadaj, and Loz had been told that when they were little, and that when it rained it was their parents crying from heaven because they were mean. That was the reason they were so nice to him and obeyed anything he said... but yet it still rained. Maybe they'd never understand what their parents had meant by that...

Kadaj was already in the car waiting patiently for them. He had his navy jacket back on with a white t-shirt under it and semi-less baggier jeans than normal. Yazoo and Cloud were shocked at this but said nothing. They exchanged looks then got in the car. They all buckled up and Cloud pulled out. "Go fast." Kadaj said. Cloud shot him an 'Oh yeah, you aren't the one that'll pay the ticket, so why not?' look. Cloud sped anyways. Yazoo was wide eyed, clinging to his seat belt for dear life. They had already nearly crashed 25 times in a five minute period. Cloud sped into the parking lot, and Kadaj shot out before he had even stopped. He landed on his knee and hand then shot up quickly and skillfully. Yazoo and Cloud jumped out after him, trying to catch up. Kadaj was smiling widely. Headed toward the waiting room. Yazoo and Cloud looked at each other. "This isn't the way to Denzel's room..." Yazoo mumbled. Cloud nodded, but looked forward running after Kadaj still.
Kadaj saw the waiting room in site and ran forward, grinning like a maniac. He ran into it quickly and into someones arms by accident. They collided on the floor, Kadaj looked down at who he was sitting on then smiled seeing it was Denzel. Denzel had some pink tinge on his cheeks. Kadaj lay down against his chest, hugging him tightly, crying while smiling still. Cloud and Yazoo stepped in and sweatdropped. Yazoo growled and ran forward but Cloud caught him before the other two noticed him and dragged the struggling teen out.

Yazoo growled in the hall outside the room. "THAT WAS SOO WRONG!!!" He whispered in a really agitated voice. Cloud sweatdropped. "I'm sure they didn't mean anything by it..." Yazoo glared. "If it was someone like YOU I wouldn't care, but DENZEL!?" Cloud turned red at this. "W-what the freak!?" Yazoo looked clueless for a minute then smirked. "You love Kadaj!!" He said. Cloud gulped and backed up. "Of course, he's my brother!!" He said defensively. Yazoo smirked still. "Seeing as Kadaj and I look so much alike and act so much alike and seeing as I'm right here...what do you think about me?" He grinned evily Cloud turned mega red and kept backing up as Yazoo kept stepping forward.

Kadaj and Denzel came out and sweatdropped at seeing Yazoo with his hands on Cloud's shoulders, pushing him against the wall with their faces pressed against each other, staring into his eyes while Cloud was about 3 shades of the darkest reds you can imagine. "Erm..." Kadaj said. They both turned their heads quickly to see him. Cloud sighed in relief. 'thank god..' he thought. Yazoo pouted but let go of Cloud. Cloud slowly returned to his normal coloration. Kadaj and Denzel blinked. "Alright then...should I ask?" Yazoo smirked, looking at Cloud. "If you want.." Cloud put a hand over Yazoo's mouth. "No." He said and smiled. "Nothing to explain, Yazoo just tripped and I caught him and thought he was wearing contacts, but I was wrong." He then nodded. Yazoo snickered. Cloud glared. Yazoo snickered still. Kadaj scratched the back of his head and looked to the wall, blushing. 'So cute..' Cloud thought. "Anyways..." Kadaj said, then looked at Nii-san. "I'm taking Denzel to the car...he's staying with us till I am old enough to move out...then we are gonna live together in an apartment." Yazoo and Cloud went blank, unable to respond. Yazoo was the first to regain the ability to think and pried Cloud's fingers off his mouth. "NO WAY!! YOU ARE SO NOT DOING THAT!!" He said. Kadaj glared which shocked Yazoo. "Yazoo, why do you have to act like that!? I love Denzel and you should respect that!!" He said. Now this really hit the nail in Cloud's world. 'Love?' he thought over and over. Was it possible to dig into your chest and tear your heart out with your bare hands? If so Cloud really wanted to do that right now.
Yazoo clenched his teeth, knowing this must have really hurt Cloud. "YOU ARE SO SELFISH!" He growled and grabbed Cloud's hand. Cloud jumped at this and regained abilty to speak. "Y-yazoo.." Yazoo shook his head. "Don't worry, he can stay. Let's go." Yazoo said and ran off, holding tightly to Cloud's hand. Cloud kept up with him, but barely, in a lot of pain.
Kadaj looked at the ground then looked at Denzel. "'Lets go." He said. "They are just stressed." He said, trying to assure Denzel. Denzel looked to the side but nodded because all that mattered to him now was that he was with his beloved Kadaj. He smiled gently. How could it be any better than this?

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...Poor Cloud, eh? Keep reading, and pweez review... D