Chapter 3: Zealous

disclaimer: I do not own Advent Children or anything in it though if I did it would be very yaoi.

arashi: hehe pleaseeeee review and consider this a belated Halloween gift, X3 HAPPY HALLOWEEN!!

The drive home wasn't exactly "good"...

Denzel and Kadaj sat in the back. Yazoo had to drive because Cloud was unable due to inabilty to think about anything other than Kadaj saying that he loved Denzel earlier. He didn't even dare trying to argue about driving though, even he knew he wouldn't be able, that or he was thinking about Kadaj too much to even know they were driving him and that it was all just a dream.. Denzel didn't exactly feel too welcome either...especially with the angry aura lurking about from Yazoo. Kadaj had frequently tried to explain to him that Yazoo just got like this when he had to go back to college soon. He said stuff like Yazoo hated the people there and what not and didn't get along and always got into fights, and even though this was true it was still pretty much lies in this case, seeing as Denzel was the reason Yazoo was steaming and Cloud was a walking blob of sadness. Cloud hadn't spoken a single word. Yazoo would often ask him stuff but he would just reply with a simple shrug. Yazoo had finally just given up and they had all just stayed silent the entire way home. Yazoo didn't even speed.

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Now Kadaj and Denzel were in Kadaj's room. The house was completley silent, other than the frequent ticking of the clock. Loz was off called by a friend to fix his broken down truck. He had left at around six and said he'd be back in around six hours because it might take a while to fix the car and then he wanted to go to the movies and see a horror movie. He had wanted to see it so bad he had actually recorded the comercials and rewatched them over and over making everyone pretty annoyed. It was around eight now and he would probably be back at around eleven or twelve seeing as he was always unpredictable even when he set up a time.
The house was completely silent and it felt really wierd. Normally the house would be loud with the noises of the boys screaming and tearing stuff up then cleaning it up or screaming about not wanting to do homework because it was too easy and they wanted a challenge. Badly. The last time it had been so quiet was right after their parents had died and they had first met Cloud, he seemed scary and strange. Now though Cloud, the man they had once feared so much, sat at the kitchen table stiring around a melting piece of chocolate in his coffee, almost completely melted now. He had his head on his hand and held stired the coffee with the chocolate with the other looking really dazed. Yazoo was in the living room, not making a sound. He had his head down in his arms, leaning against the arm of the sofa with his legs against his chair. He didn't know what to do...He really cared about Cloud, but everytime he went around him, his heart would break because he knew it wasn't him he cared for, it was Kadaj. He really wished at times he was Kadaj...the looks Cloud gave him meant so much, yet the selfish boy didn't even notice these hints of affection! It wasn't fair! Yazoo had constantly struggled to match up to Kadaj in Cloud's eyes, but he never could. Inside he knew he never could but he just couldn't stop trying..he cared about Cloud too much. Not that he wanted to, actually he wished he didn't care the least bit about him for a minute, but then his true feelings resurfaced.
Yazoo clenched his fist grabbing a handful of his long hair. 'What can I do?' He thought miserably. 'Nii-san...' A few tears escaped his eyes and he quickly and angrily wiped them away. '...you break my heart...' He started to stand, 'so much...' He wiped away all the tears, not letting himself show Cloud he'd been crying and headed toward the kitchen. 'You are so very cruel...' He saw Cloud now with his head down on his arm, looking like he too had been crying.

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He didn't seem to even notice Yazoo was there. 'How could you?' He tried to smile and walked up to him from behind and gently put his arms around him from behind, his hair falling against Cloud's chest. Cloud jumped. 'Kadaj?' He felt someone put their head on his shoulder and he turned and saw it was Yazoo. "Yazoo.." He said. Yazoo hugged him tightly still. "Nii-san, were you crying?" He asked. Cloud looked at him then looked back at the table and tried his best to smile. "Of course not." He said then looked at Yazoo smiling. Yazoo saw he was lying, he already knew, he just wanted to see if Cloud trusted him enough to admit it. Apparently not. He felt a bit disappointed but knew now wasn't really the time to think about how he was going to win his heart. He burried his head in Cloud's neck. He felt a bit of dampness...tears. "Heh, I feel them." He said quietly. Cloud jumped. "W-what are you talking about...???" Yazoo lifted his head up, faces centimeters apart. "Your tears." Clouds eyes softened. He may not have really felt something for Yazoo, or at least he didn't think he did, but Yazoo held a special tender place in his heart. He always knew what you were feeling, even when you yourself didn't even know...it was wierd.

Yazoo's eyes wandered to the ground, narrowed in sadness. Cloud smiled gently and lifted his hand up and put it on Yazoo's face gently and pulled their faces closer. Yazoo's eyes widened and he looked at him. '...why do I want to..' Cloud's lips were so close to Yazoo's now.. when the refrigerator door swung open and reality struck. 'Oh...shit...' Cloud turned pale. Yazoo was still in dream land, he couldn't get over what was just ABOUT to happen and was wondering why it had ended. He looked over and saw too. His eyes widened. Kadaj. Kadaj grabbed two sodas. He looked at them emotionless and then smirked. The way he could alter his emotions and trick you so easily was one of his many fox-like qualities. Even now he was able to trick them.

Horror had struck.

"Looking at contacts again I see." Kadaj said. Yazoo glared, a feeling of jealousy suddenly rising. He tried hard not to leap out at Kadaj. He usually wasn't this bad, but knowing how badly he had hurt Cloud made him angry. How blind could someone be!? It was so annoying watching Cloud still watch him with such affection even after heart break. It wasn't fair. How could something emotional hurt so badly? It was worse than any physical pain he'd ever had to endure, and he'd been through a whole lot. When they were little Loz had actually poisoned his drink and he had to have a tube shoved down his throat while awake to drain his stomache of the horrid stuff and try hard not to throw up or gag on all the blood coming up, he had broken his arm by fighting, his leg from training too hard, and his finger by actually getting it ran over by Loz while he was checking if his tire was flat or not. Yes he'd been through a lot more than that but this hurt the worse out of all of it. How much of a fool could he have been!? Cloud never liked him and that moment wasn't for him, it was simply for Cloud's relief. Probably was thinking about Kadaj the whole moment too... He glared and stood up and walked out of the kitchen headed to his room. Kadaj raised an eyebrow. "What is his deal?" He asked then walked off toward his room after Yazoo had slammed and locked himself in his. Kadaj walked past Yazoo's room and heard his sad music playing, even now it made his heart ache about how sad Yazoo was at times...he sighed and walked into his room, shutting the door and locking it.
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Cloud narrowed his eyes in sadness. 'what is up with Yazoo? He is acting really funny...' He sighed then thought about Kadaj again. 'Denzel has really changed him...' He looked at the ground, chocolate now gone as if it wasn't even there. He took a sip of his chocolatly coffee and sighed again. 'I hope he'll be okay...' He put his head back on his head and went into deep thought this time about Yazoo though. He gulped and looked toward his room, eyes narrowed.

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Tears poured down Yazoo's face, staining it. He was sitting in the corner hugging his knees against his chest. After every tear came more, two at a time, just pouring. He had the lights out and tears just kept pouring. He couldn't stand it...the pain...it was unbearable. He looked around looking for something to give relief...anything. His eyes widened when he saw his collecters dagger/knife sitting on his shelf. He stood up and slowly began walking toward it. He had his Dark New Day cd in, playing Brother.

"Once upon a time I knew everything
When I start to think back on everything
It all runs away like a memory
(like a memory)
Once their was a picture of a happy place
But I always kept thinking what a great place to leave
(what a great place to leave)

He gripped it hard and quickly slashed it in a fast move and cut deep into his left arm near his shoulder and didn't wince as the blood dripped to the ground. He smirked, all he wanted was to see the crimson. To end the pain...

I'll trade it all
To have you all here with me

He did the same on his left arm, a lighter cut but it still bled badly. He laughed, enjoying this.


Father, when you comin' back? (with me)
Mother, leave the light on again
Sister with someone, somewhere, somewhere
Brother, brother, brother

The doorknob began turning repeatively. "YAZOO!!" Cloud's voice yelled. He had sensed something was wrong and jumped up. He had a bobby pin, desperately trying to unlock the door. He banged on it. "YAZOO PLEASE ANSWER THE DOOR!" Yazoo looked toward it emotionless and didn't respond.

Trailer park heaven was a dream to me
Cause we had it figured out
Simple and not jaded
There was a promise of a brighter day
But soon that would all fade out

I'll trade it all
To have you all here with me...

Yazoo smirked sadly and then twirled the dagger in his fingers and cut deep into his left and right shoulder. Deeper than before... a puddle of blood began forming at his feet. He smiled sadly and wasn't able to hold the dagger any longer so it dropped uselessly near his feet into the puddle of blood splashing it onto his legs. The tip that was covered with blood was nothing now, since the whole blade was now coated with the crimson liquid.

Father, when you comin' back? (with me)
Mother, leave the light on again
Sister with someone, somewhere, somewhere
Brother, brother, brother..

He smirked and laughed in a strange way...demonically as if he wasn't really himself.

When it's something we 3love 3 that keeps us away
But it costs even more and it's so much to pay
To have you all here with me

Father, when you comin' back? (with me)
Mother, leave the light on again
Sister with someone, somewhere, somewhere
Brother, brother, brother

He shut his eyes and fell forward,smiling satisfied like and fell soundless on the ground.

Brother, brother, brother
Brother, brother, brother"

The room then grew completely silent, other than Cloud yelling for Yazoo to open his door. Yazoo's long platinum hair settled across his back flatly and across his face. His eyes were now wide open staring at the wall. 'When will the misery end?' He thought and felt tears suddenly leak from his eyes. He saw the dagger not far away and could easily reach it. He smirked then, still crying and slowly reached toward it...

"YAZOO!"

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Kadaj smirked at Denzel sitting at the computer and looking at Denzel's art work he had snanned into photobucket. "You draw I take it?" He asked. Denzel smiled. "Yup." He said. "I remember we used to compete over who could draw the best picture in elementary." He smiled more and blushed a bit. Kadaj looked clueless a moment then smirked instantly. "Oh yeah! I can't believe you remembered that!" Denzel raised an eyebrow. "Didn't you?" He asked. Kadaj laughed nervously and scratched the back of his head. "Heh...erm well...not really..." Denzel smiled and laughed. Kadaj grinned and started laughing too. They had Incubus- Pardon Me playing so loudly it almost drown out their own conversation, so they definately had no hopes of hearing what the heck was going on outside and had no idea. Maybe it was best that way.
"A silver haired angel that looks a lot like me." Kadaj said and looked at Denzel giving him an all knowing look. Denzel blushed and looked to the side. "Heh erm yeah...about that..." Kadaj stood up, put his hands on Denzel's shoulders and kissed him gently for about ten seconds then pulled away smiling. Denzel was wide eyed and blushing badly. "K-kadaj?" Kadaj smirked sexily and laughed. "I'm flattered." He said then took his seat back at the computer. Denzel smiled a small yet happy smile, blushing gently, and stared at the ground as Kadaj went throught the rest of his pictures.

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Tears poured down Cloud's eyes now too. "YAZOO!" He yelled out. "PLEASE DON'T!" He yelled out. Yazoo kept his head and body on the ground and looked up seeing Cloud. He looked toward the dagger then and smirked once more. ''I'm sorry Cloud, but I just can't take this pain any longer...please forgive me..." He whispered and wrapped his fingers aroudn the cool metal. Cloud shot out fast and nelt at his side quickly and grabbed his hand shaking his head violently, tears landing gently on Yazoo. Yazoo gave him a puzzled look and watched the pained person in front of him questioningly. Cloud opened his eyes slightly then took the dagger and threw it against the wall. He wrapped his arms around Yazoo and pulled him into his lap gently and held him tightly, burrying his head in his chest. Yazoo watched him silently then got up enough courage, "Cloud," he began, "why are you making me suffer?" He asked calmly. Cloud looked at him. "You!?" He said in a sad/angry voice, yet way more sad than angry. "YOU ARE MAKING ME SUFFER!" Cloud said. Yazoo jumped at this, completely got off guard. "I care a lot about you..."Cloud said, fake blushing, "More than you could know..." He looked at Yazoo. Yazoo smiled gently, tears still coming though. He laughed a bit. He seemed to believe it. Good. Its not that Cloud didn't love him..he did...just only as a brother...otherwise Cloud wasn't really sure what he felt about Yazoo really, but he knew he had to say something to calm him...even if it were lies... he didn't really think he cared about him like that, but he had one goal now and that was to tend to Yazoo and make him feel better even if Yazoo constantly clung to him or did anything else creepy like in the hospital earlier. Cloud knew he had to do it at any costs so he would lie to Yazoo and make him think he cared but not really to protect him. It was fair...right? Well, he thought so.
He sighed and picked up Yazoo. "I'll bandage you." He said gently. Yazoo nodded, feeling happiness for once in his icy heart. Yazoo layed his head against Cloud's chest silently, smiling gently yet sadly at the same time, knowing too well it was too good to be true, he shut his eyes to hold back tears. Cloud walked to Yazoo's bed and set him down gently. Yazoo stared at the wall. Cloud put a hand gently on Yazoo's forehead then left to get bandages. 'I think I am going to leave this place.' Yazoo thought to himself. 'I don't belong here...' He nodded, 'I'll leave. Cloud is such a horrible liar...' he smirked sadly and a few tears fell, 'always has been.' He stood and looked at his backpack. 'most of my stuff is at the college anyways.' He looked at the dagger on the floor and his eyes narrowed in sadness he walked toward it and slung it in his backpack. He added a few clothes and accessories then slung the pack over his shoulder looked at his room once more smiling sadly and opened his window and jumped out. Its wierd how you can make life changing desisions but not think a single thing about it...and with that sooner or later comes regret. He sat his pack down next to the window and pulled his bloody and cut up shirt off and pulled another out of the pack and threw it on. He made it extra baggy, but still the blood caught it and pulled it down, staining the white shirt forever. He growled at it but ignored it and slung the pack back on and ran toward his motorcycle. He went wide eyed and tried to stop but slid on the slippery floor and crashed into Loz...who happened to be right beside the house...Loz had been carefully washing Cloud's car.
Yazoo growled, "WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE YOU WEREN'T SUPPOSED TO BE HERE FOR ANOTHER THREE HOURS!" He yelled. Loz blinked then smiled. "Suprise!!" Yazoo growled, made a fist and crashed it against Loz's thick head. He seethed then opened the door to the house knowing it was no use at all to even try and leave with Loz around, and slammed it behind him. Loz blinked and shrugged and went back to work while rubbing his head in pain.

Cloud came back in the room and jumped when not seeing him. "YAZOO!!" he yelled out, looking everywhere for him. He looked toward the window and saw it open. His eyes widened and he ran toward it, preparing for the worst. "Y-yazoo...!" He shakily opened an eye and saw that Yazoo was not dead on the ground and sighed in relief then looked around again, "YAZOO!!"

Yazoo heard the yelling. He rolled his eyes and started up the stairs. Not too gracefully though. He growled because everything was shaky and wouldn't stay still. Especially the stairs and rail. He cursed under his breath tripped on the last step and collapsed right beside Loz's room. He was completely out.

Cloud jumped hearing the loud thud and darted outside the room quickly. He looked toward Kadaj's room then looked toward the stairs and saw Yazoo. For a minute he forgot how to breath and could just stare at Yazoo. He finally was able to walk and started slowly walking toward him then sped up and slid down beside him and put a hand on his chest to check for breathing. He leaned down and put his cheek against Yazoo's mouth and felt slight breathing. Shallow though. He rose up and studied him. He narrowed his eyes sadly. Out of all the boys Yazoo looked the most like Sephiroth, yet he was the least like him in the way he acted. Sephiroth was a cold being, but Cloud had discovered a warm heart under the ice more than once. Sephiroth wasn't always like that anyways. Cloud felt a lot of pity for him. He missed seeing him but he knew that you can try to hard and that sometimes you have to go away for a little while in order to come back.
He gently picked up Yazoo and headed downstairs with him. He sighed and set him on the couch and then walked back up the stairs and grabbed the bandages and alcohol. He walked back downstairs and set on the couch. He pulled Yazoo up with ease and began trying to pull off his shirt. It was hard though because it was trying to stick to the wounds because of the sticky dried blood, and Cloud didn't want to hurt him or make it bleed anymore. After many attempts he finally got it off and began feeling of the wounds. 'Deep..' he looked at Yazoo's face and saw him clench his teeth in pain. He wasn't completely out of it. That was good, maybe he would wake up sooner than he thought. He put his hand from the wound and put it on Yazoo's cheek and stroked it gently then leaned forward, "It will be all right, Yazoo." He whispered then sat back up and grabbed the alchohol and cotton balls and began dabbing the wounds with alchohol. He had to use a lot more than he thought he would due to the injuries. He finally finished and the white fiz seeping from the wounds died out. 'I really hope they don't make scars...' he sighed and gently stroked Yazoo's chest, calming him then took out the bandages. He bandages up his arms first then worked on the other areas. It was easier to get done with the easiest first. He finished after about an hour of working on him total. Counting tending to the wounds also. He reached over and sat the bandages on the table in front of them then lifted Yazoo and rested him against the couch. He sat down and leaned against the arm of the couch then spread his legs out and grabbed Yazoo and pulled him forward to his chest. So now Yazoo's head was against his chest and Cloud kept his legs around him protectively. He wrapped his arms around Yazoo's neck and shut his eyes, relaxing. After a while, he fell asleep.

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Loz yawned and looked at his watch. '9:10..time for some good tv.'He smiled and nodded, thinking he deserved it after such a long day of work. He turned off the water and wiped his hands off and walked to the door. He stretched and opened it, locking it behind him and began walking toward the living room. He looked around and blinked, wondering why it was so dark in the living room. He felt for the switch and finally found it and flicked it on. He turned pale at the first thing he saw. 'and I thought I'd seen everything there was to see...' his eye twitched. He watched Cloud and Yazoo move a bit in their sleep, waking up. He gulped. 'CRAP!!! THEY ARE GONNA KNOW I SEEN THEM LIKE THIS!!' He watched them wide-eyed. Yazoo was first awake, "nii-san...?" He whispered quietly, sounding confused and looked up to see Loz giving him a wierd look. He yawned and smiled a bit then rested himself back against Cloud's body once again. Cloud moved around a bit then moved his arms around Yazoo's shirtless back. Loz looked dumb-founded and after a while he walked toward them. 'Apparently Yazoo thought he was dreaming?' he blinked, confused. He poked Cloud's cheek, "Nii-san?" He asked. Cloud swatted at his finger sleepily and groaned then put his hand back around Yazoo, "Turn off the light!!" He whined. Loz rolled his eyes. He knew him well enough to know by now that he was impossible to wake up. He probably didn't even know he was holding Yazoo and was just content in the nice warm position he was in. Loz shook his head. "Yeah, Yeah..." He walked toward the switch "Fine...I'll just watched tv upstairs..."He grumbled and turned off the light, but not before he took a pic of them like that. He smirked and headed toward his room. 'How cute.' He laughed a bit. 'I always could tell Yazoo had a thing for Cloud, but I didn't think Cloud returned those feelings.' he shrugged, 'eh, who knows?' He then went in his room, shut the door, settled on his bed, and watched tv in a sudden good mood.

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Kadaj smiled. He had finished viewing all of Denzel's drawings and had e-mailed some of his own to Denzel too. "I really liked them Denzel, I-" He looked over and blinked then smiled warmly. Denzel was in his bed fast asleep. "I really liked them." He said quietly then nodded. "Yeah, I'm pretty tired too...it's been a long day.' He pulled off his shirt and kept his blue jeans on. He headed toward the light switch and turned it off and walked toward the bed and settled in beside Denzel. He yawned and smiled, incrediably happy. 'Doesn't really get any better, eh?' He wrapped an arm around Denzel and fell asleep instantly.

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"N-nii san..." Yazoo's voice was heard in the darkness.

Cloud slowly opened his eyes and let his eyes adjust. He saw Yazoo against him, fast asleep and tried to recall what all had happened. It took him a while but then it all came back. He smirked and watched Yazoo was was practically ripping his shirt off while saying his name over and over. Cloud laughed and shook him awake. Yazoo growled then opened his eyes, expecting it to be Kadaj or Loz. When it was Cloud it really suprised him. He blinked and turned red. 'Oh shit...please please say he didn't just hear that dream...' He turned redder, 'oh god...he so did..' Cloud eskimo kissed Yazoo and smirked. "Yes, I heard it." He said, almost as if he had read his mind. Yazoo gulped. "Er- I uh-" He was cut off by the sudden crush of lips against his. He was wide-eyed and kissed back after a while. Cloud pulled away and said, "Why settle for a dream when you can have the real thing?" He smirked and-

"Yazoo?" came a confused sounding voice. Cloud shook Yazoo again for about the twentieth time since he'd first heard his name. Yazoo's eyes opened after a while and saw Cloud. He growled. 'Man!! It was a dream...woah...a dream about thinking you were having a dream...so wierd...' he sighed then and felt kinda sad, 'of course its too good to be true...damn all feelings.' Cloud looked worried. "Were you having a nightmare?" He asked(completley clueless, eh?). Yazoo nodded, "y-yeah...real bad one. Cloud smiled gently, "Don't worry...I'm here to protect you always bro." Yazoo nodded slowly, trying to stop blushing. He coughed and cleared his throat. This was getting annoying.

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:D I finished chapter 3 oh and for those who do not know Zealous means like happiness kinda...yarg...anyways :P Finally the story is getting somewhere eh? and yes a very late halloween gift, but oh well!!! XD! I shall soon start working on the next chapter, and I will try to make it longer...ideas very very much appreciated... ' reviews pweez?? as you may also be able to tell I am new at this... . ... Hope I don't suck too much... XD welp I'm out!!

-Arashi

P.S. I love every one of you that actually reads this... 3!