At World's End
S-Michael
Chapter the Fourteenth
Many Truths Revealed, Part 2
"Alright. Are you ready? Here we go."
¡FLASH!
Shinji heard the horn at the same time that he saw the convertible. Shinji knew nothing about cars, but he knew that this one was nice. "Coming!" he said cheerily, moving quickly down the school's steps and tossing his bag into the back seat of it.
"Hey, baby, you come here often?" the blonde driving it asked.
Shinji stuck out his tongue playfully, hopping into the car. "Hey, stranger, anything you want will be fifty-five thousand yen."
"You've raised your rates."
"You know I'm worth it," Shinji said. "So, Jessica, what's the plan for today?"
"I'm going to kidnap you and then we're going to get married. I can do that, to: here in Japan, you're legal," Jessica said. "Then I'm going to have my way with you."
"That sounds nice," Shinji said. She was, of course, kidding. For one thing, being an American, she wasn't going to go all the way with him until he was eighteen (one of the drawbacks of having a girlfriend who was four years older than you). For another, Jessica James was much too much of a free spirit to settle down and marry.
"What's that you got there?"
"This? It's the latest design from NERV Technologies," Shinji said. His father owned the company, so he got the hottest stuff right off the rack. His life rocked.
"Hmm…I vaguely remember a company by that name…"
"We made the iPhone obsolete, and you know it," Shinji chided.
"Nope, still not ringing any bells. Say, what does 'NERV' stand for, anyway?"
Shinji playfully punched her shoulder. "You know damn well what NERV stands for! Anyway, as I was saying, this is our newest model."
"It looks like a can of pop."
"Watch." Shinji pulled at a tab on the side of the cylinder, and a sheet came out.
"It's a scroll," Jessica said.
"Yes, and no; this sheet is actually a touch screen. I can make the screen any length I want, up to three feet," Shinji bragged.
"It's still only six inches wide," Jessica pointed out.
"Yeah, well, they wanted it to be convenient. It does all the things the last model did; access the internet, play videogames, music, has a fingerprint lock so that only the proper user can use it, and you can still access our TVs with it, too." That was the thing which had really allowed NERV to blow iPhone out of the water: NERV also sold a plasma-screen TV which could be wirelessly connected to their product, allowing for full screen entertainment (just use the handheld like a remote).
"So, basically, it's the same thing as the last one, but you can use it like a full-sized keyboard," Jessica said.
"Exactly," Shinji said.
"And how much does it cost?"
"Three hundred sixty-nine thousand yen," Shinji said. "Give or take."
"That's expensive, for a keyboard. I've bought whole computers for less than that," Jessica said. "Besides, there's already whole cults of people who use 'ye olde god machine' for everything up to and including their bank accounts and storing secret government files, and I'd rather not contribute to that."
Jessica smiled. "Besides, rather than waste my money on your parents' company's products, I'd rather waste it on you."
"Oh, really? There's these new tennis shoes I've been wanting to get…"
Jessica laughed. "Speaking of cults, my parents were in a cult once."
"Yeah?"
"Oh, yeah, it was a long time ago, back around the turn of the century. You see, there were a lot of people around back then who thought that the world was going to end in the year two thousand. This one particular bit of idiocy, called the Y2K bug…but I digress. They came to their senses, which was good, as the cult collapsed when the world conspicuously failed to end fifteen years ago."
"So what's the point of that story, aside from 'Americans are stupid'?"
"Hey, don't make this a nationalistic thing on me, cutie, because you will lose. Let me count the ways in which Japan is fucked up—"
"I take it back!" Shinji said. "So, what are we going to do today?"
"Hakone."
"What? Why?"
"There's something I really want you to see."
-
The sun was setting over the town of Hakone, as Shinji and Jessica watched from a mountain road. "Majestic," Shinji breathed. There was no way in hell he was going to get home in time for his curfew, and his parents were going to skin him alive for it, but he didn't even care.
"I was driving down this way, last week, when I saw it. Awe-inspiring, isn't it?" Jessica said. "Not to mention, a good place to make out."
"Were your parents really in a cult?" Shinji asked.
"No," Jessica said. "I'm a chronic liar. Everything I say is a lie. I am lying right now."
"Typical," Shinji said. "So, what you said about making out…"
¡FLASH!
"That wasn't me," Shinji said. Although, it was eerily parallel to when Misato had taken him to see the sunset over Tokyo 3. In fact, Jessica had parked in the exact same spot and they had viewed the scene from the exact same place on the exact same road, for Hakone was the old name for Tokyo 3.
"What do you mean?" Kowaru asked.
"He had such a…such a normal life," Shinji said. It was the only way he could put it. "His biggest worries were about curfew, and the latest fads. When he says something like 'my parents are going to kill me,' he does not mean it literally. He lives in a world where none of this crazy stuff that defined the world I live in ever happened. It's so surreal as to be unreal," Shinji said. "Why, what did you think I mean?"
"The breaking point between this world and that one was well before you were conceived. In order for you to exist in it, the same sperm had to hit the same egg as happened when you were conceived in this universe. That sounds like a statistical improbability, but it's actually not so much in an infinite multiverse. Still…I thought you might have meant that there was something chromosomally different about your double," Kowaru said.
"Wait…so you can put me into the bodies of people who are not exactly me?"
"If there's only one or two chromosomes difference," Kowaru said.
"So there's a chance that I could end up a girl one of these times?" Shinji asked.
"If we keep going to worlds that divided from ours before…" Kowaru did some mental calculations, "…September of 2000, then yes."
"Anyway, are you alright? Did that shatter you?"
"I'm alright," Shinji said. "Like I said, that world was…surreal."
"Because it was a world without Second Impact and your love interest in that world was someone you don't know and who might not even exist," Kowaru said. "This time, it may to hit a little…closer to home."
"I'm ready."
"I hope so," Kowaru said.
¡FLASH!
Step, two, three; step, two, three. This mantra kept going through Shinji's mind. You wouldn't know from looking at him that he was only a beginner, though. Of course, Asuka was within close enough physical proximity to be able to tell in other ways.
"Shinji, stop shaking," she chided. It was their first school dance.
"Sorry," Shinji said.
"Oh, this is pointless. I'm board; lets go make out."
"Okay," Shinji said. Asuka took his hand and led him down the hallway. As she led him, Shinji stared at the back of her head thinking: she's mean, she's abrasive, she's rude, she's bossy, and she always has to have her way. Why the fuck do I love her? I guess I'm just that kind of guy. Ah, well; nothing to be done for it. And the truth was, he wouldn't change himself if he could.
"Alright, this looks deserted enough," Asuka said, and then summarily turned a 180 and physically attacked him with her mouth. There were up sides to being "that kind of guy." After a few minutes of intense making out, they heard a noise.
"What are you two doing?" Misato asked.
"Uh…nothing, Ms. Katsuragi," Shinji said lamely.
"Then get back to the auditorium," Misato said.
"Right, Ms. Katsuragi!" both fourteen-year-olds said at the same time, bowing, and leaving.
"Fucking bitch," Asuka added as soon as they were out of earshot. Only Asuka.
¡FLASH!
"Well?" Kowaru asked.
"That was…disquieting. But I think I'm getting used to it," Shinji said. "I'm beginning to realize, down here…" Shinji tapped his heart, "…that there is no such thing as 'the one.' It is illogical to think that in all the multitudes of humanity there is one and only one somebody, but there's no reason to fear, though; all you can do is be with the one that makes you the most happy, and for this me, in this world, that's Misato." Then he remembered who he was saying this to. "That's not to say that what we had wasn't special—"
Kowaru held up his palm. "Shinji, I'm dead (for all intents and purposes). It's good that you have moved on. And you might as well live a long and happy life with her, because I'm not going to the afterlife any time soon. Live, love, have children. These are the things lilim, and lifeforms in general, are supposed to do. Now, I take it that the tutorial is over; are we ready to get back to work?"
Shinji nodded. "Hit me with your best shot."
¡FLASH!
"Hey, didn't there used to be monkeys in those cages?" Shinji asked.
"Chimps, and yeah, we were trying to see if we could train them to be Eva pilots, but now that the Sahaquiel II has made the Evangelions obsolete, they've been released back into the wild," Kaji said. "It wasn't going too well. As you can see from the logs, three monkeys died."
Shinji fingered the medal he had gotten from the prime minister of Earth.
"Just like we have been," Asuka said what Shinji had been thinking.
"Come, now. You kids should be glad that you don't have to duel monsters for the fate of humanity on a semiregular basis anymore," Kaji said.
"Hello, Kaji," Browne said. "Its nice that you could be here. You brought your charges, I see."
"Good to see you, too, my friend. It's been hard ever since Misato…" Kaji choked up.
Shinji choked up, too. Misato had been killed in a surprise raid on Tokyo 3 by the Separatists. He himself had been spared, just barely…if the shrapnel had happened to land a few feet to the left, it would be the other way around.
"Many people have died, but we have seen to it that no one will ever die in war again," Browne said. "We did the right thing, my friend."
I wonder what that means, Shinji thought. But he would soon put I out of his mind.
Kaji seemed shocked at the slip. "Are you drunk?"
"Just a little bit. I've been slamming down vodka-and-cokes all night, but you know me and my high tolerance. Hey, maybe now that I've had a head start, you can finally keep up," Browne said.
"It's just not natural for someone who drinks as rarely as you do to have such a high tolerance," Kaji said. "Then again, you certainly do make up for it, slamming down a month's worth of alcohol in a single night."
"Well, then it's good I only drink once a month, then," Browne said. "Hey, you kids want to try some?"
"We're not twenty," Asuka said.
"So?" Browne said.
"Please don't get my charges drunk," Kaji said.
"Alright," Browne said, shrugging.
¡FLASH!
"Damn it!" Shinji said.
"What is it? Weren't you ready?" Kowaru asked.
"I'm fine, although the idea that Misato could have died does fill me with fright, I must admit. It's that I thought I had something, but it's not quite clear. Something to do with monkeys…Damn it, the other me wasn't paying close enough attention," Shinji cursed himself.
"What are you thinking?" Kowaru asked.
"I'm not sure yet…oh, this is useless! Nothing is becoming any clearer…" Shinji was hit with something. It wasn't another ¡FLASH!, but it could have been, for all the strength it had:
Browne: "It's been my experience that if something happened and it doesn't make sense, it is because something is wrong with the way you're looking at it," Browne said.
Anchor: "…something that seems to be another angel commenced an attack on the city of Kabul in Afghanistan at six hundred hours this morning, Japanese standard time."
Misato: "Hey, that's Browne's voice."
Browne: "Damn! I've been here since five!"
Asuka: "So those Taliban assholes think they can take care of the angel all by themselves? I hope it wipes them from the face of the Earth."
Browne: "…we are invading Afghanistan."
Kensuke: "Hey, Shinji, I hear you started a war."
Unification…Separatists…angels…monkeys?
"Kowaru, I'm not sure, as my double didn't think about it overmuch, but I think the angels were different in that world," Shinji said. "Find a world where the angels are different, or at least timed different, and that that scene happens similarly in, though."
"I'll try, but I don't know how much control you think I have over this thing, though," Kowaru said uncertainly.
¡FLASH!
"Why are we even going to this stupid party?" Asuka asked.
"To celebrate," Misato said. "The war is over, and we don't have to worry about the angels any more, either."
"But why are Shinji and I coming with you? What are we going to do at your stupid party? We're not old enough to drink."
"You have special permission, just this once." Misato said. "Just don't overdo it, okay?"
"C'mon, kids, it's fun to get wasted," Kaji said.
"Kaji!"
"What?"
They parked the car, and went into HALO HQ, and then through a maze of corridors. "Hey, didn't there used to be monkeys in those cages?" Shinji asked.
"Chimps, and yeah, we were trying to see if we could train them to be Eva pilots, but now that the Sahaquiel II has made the Evangelions obsolete, they've been released back into the wild," Kaji said. "It wasn't going too well. As you can see from the logs, four monkeys died."
Shinji fingered the medal he had gotten from the prime minister of Earth.
"Just like we have been," Asuka said.
"Hey, now, that's hardly fair," Kaji said.
"Aren't you glad you don't have to risk your lives dueling monsters for the fate of humanity on a semiregular basis anymore?" Misato asked.
The door to the party opened. "Hey, Kaji," Browne said cordially. "Hey, Misato," he took her hand and kissed it.
"Damn it, Browne, what have I told you about hitting on my woman?" Kaji asked.
"Your woman?" Misato asked.
"I mean…you know what I mean."
Browne brushed the whole thing off with a wave of his hand. "Alls fair in love and war."
"You've been hanging around that protégé of yours too much," Kaji said.
"He hits on me, too," Misato said.
"No shit? But you're, like, a decade older that Don James is," Kaji commented.
"So?" Browne asked. "It doesn't matter to him. Good sense, in my opinion. Lucky little bastard, I wish I got half as much tail as he gets when I was his age."
"Or as much over the last seven months as he gets in a week," Kaji teased.
Browne put his hands over his heart. "You wound me!" he said overdramatically. Then normally he said: "The sad thing is, that's actually true. I fucking need to get a girlfriend. Hey, Misato…"
"You know, if I thought you were serious about that, I'd hurt you," Kaji said.
"You're not serious?" Asuka asked.
"As much as I would like to sleep with Misato, I, unfortunately, have a sense of honor, and so don't actively chase after my friends' girlfriends. Or Kaji's. C'mon, lets all go get drunk."
¡FLASH!
"Different monkeys died," Shinji said. "And the angels were different, too, I think. Sonuvabitch! HALO is behind the new angels."
"And they're using the brains of chimpanzees to 'pilot' the 'angels,'" Kowaru said.
"Put me back."
"Why?"
"I need to know why they're doing this, and Browne was getting drunk, so…"
"Ah, I see what you're getting at. I've got to remind you, though, that you're not actually controlling the body you're in. You're just along for the ride, seeing what your doubles are doing, and he probably does not have an agenda like that."
"I realize that."
¡FLASH!
Shinji had no idea how he had gotten into a drinking contest with Browne, but here he was, on his fifth shot of Yeager. "You can really hold your alcohol, cancha?" noticed Browne.
"Apparently," Shinji shrugged.
"That's actually a pretty good indicator of a genetic predisposition towards alcoholism, so you're going to want to be careful. I myself make it a point to never drink more than once a month. Which is good, because I tend to go through a bottle of this stuff," Browne lifted the bottle of Yeagermeister for emphasis, and then poured them both another shot while he was holding it. "Wait, lets pour Kaji another shot."
"Kaji passed out," Shinji pointed at where Kaji was snoring in the seat next to Browne, as if he wouldn't have believed him otherwise.
"Yeah, I know. I want him to know how badly we drank him under the table, though. Lightweight. He'll probably be hung over when he wakes up tomorrow afternoon."
"What's a hangover like?" Shinji asked.
Browne shrugged. "Don't know. I'm not susceptible to them. I've drank until I've puked before, without getting hung over, which means I'll never get one, because if you drink until you puke, and then go back and drink some more…well, 'nuff said." They downed their shots. "You know something, Shinji? You're good people. I like you. You remind me of me. But in a good way."
"In a good way, eh? As opposed to in a bad way, I suppose, but then, they say everyone's the hero in their own story," Shinji said.
"Not me," Browne said proudly. "I'm the villain. Or, at best, anti-hero. But, if that's what I have to be in order to accomplish my goals, well, the ends justify the means, Shinji. Are you the hero, Shinji?"
"Nah. Damsel in distress."
Browne laughed. And laughed. And laughed. "Amen! That is the awesomest thing I have ever heard! I love you, kid; lets see if we can't get you laid."
"Actually, I'd rather if losing my virginity were something special," Shinji said.
"Huh? Oh, yeah, that's right, you and Kowaru never…anyway, that's commendable, I guess. Make sure you keep to it, because nothing makes you feel lower after saying something like that then giving it up to some drunken whore," Browne said. "Trust me on that one."
"Thanks. So, mister villain, what are those goals that justify their ends. I mean—you know what I mean."
Browne poured them another shot, and they drank them before he answered, "I'm gonna rule the world." He grinned widely, and Shinji laughed. And laughed.
"Wow, I really am wasted. That wasn't that funny."
"So, Shinji…you like anybody?" Browne asked.
"What do you mean?" Shinji asked, a bit nervous.
"You hang around with three hotties all the time, and have no other friends that I know of. Which, don't get me wrong, I don't think you need friends who don't happen to be hot chicks, but…what was I talking about, again?"
"Me liking people. And I don't."
"I don't like people, either. Nosey bastards, always wanting to know what you're doing and how you're feeling and why you're not playing with the other kids. They killed my brother, man. Oh, wait, you meant liking-liking. Sorry about that. So, what? Nothing for la blue girl?"
"Rei's a clone of my mom," Shinji said.
"She is cute, though."
"Then you do her."
"Ew! No way! She's, like, fourteen, or something. I forget." Browne shuddered. "Well, how about that German dominatrix?" He poured each of them another shot, finishing the bottle.
"Well, yeah, Asuka is hot…and, let's face it, I do need someone to tell me what to do and boss me around, but…I don't think she has my best interests in mind."
"Perfectionist," Browne mock-criticized. They downed the last of the Yeager, and then Browne looked for another bottle. "How about vodka and Mountain Dew?"
"How about a shot of vodka?"
"Oh-ho! Mister first-time-drinker thinks he has balls. You're on!" He poured the drinks. "Okay…three…two…one…cheers!" They drank at the same time, and slammed the shot glasses.
"Oh, snap! I think I am going to vomit!" Shinji complained. "Nope, false alarm.
"Where were we?"
"You were pimping me out to the various women in my life. Hypothetically, that is."
"Impressive, being able to say 'hypothetically' when you're this drunk without slurring it."
"You just did, too."
"Right…anyway, where was I? La blue girl…German dominatrix…right, that leaves Misato. I haven't thought of a clever nickname for her yet."
"She's your age."
"So?"
"It would be unethical for us to date."
"No, it would be unethical for her to date you. But, as she's a woman and you're a boy, no one will care. Besides, in Japan, the age of consent is, like, eight, or something."
"It is not!" Shinji protested. "It's—"
"Whatever. My point is, you should definitely get with her. She's thirty, right? That's actually a good age for a woman," Browne said. "The peak of female sexuality. Also, her biological clock will start ticking at her soon, and I know you want children."
"Misato has a boyfriend," Shinji reminded him.
"Kaji? He's not your friend, is he? Alls fair in love and war, little buddy. Ha-ha, little buddy."
Misato walked up. "What's up?" she asked, sipping at her beer.
"As per your request, I'm trying to convince Shinji to sleep with you."
"What? I never made such a request! Besides, I've got too many suitors as it is, between you and your protégé."
"Hey, let me have a sip of your beer."
She handed it to him. Browne took a sip, and grimaced. "Blech! Still tastes like piss." He took a swig out of the vodka.
"What are you doing?" Misato asked.
"Washing the taste out of my mouth," Browne said.
"You're weird, you know that?" she commented.
Browne mock bowed. "Anyway, Shinji, about these mixed-drinks…whoa. I think I'm losing consciousness. I started four ahead of you, though, Shinji, so don't get cock…y…" and he was out.
¡FLASH!