Death
I stood in front of her casket twingling her favorite necklace along my neck. Tears were fresh in my eyes, and I tried to keep them from falling down my cheeks, but it wasn't an easy fight. Troy stood next to me, wearing a brand new tux and looking like he was trying hard not to cry. I placed my hand in his and watched as his head turned to mine. He offered me a small smile and I smiled lightly back at him. He was so great, better to me then I think I really deserve. The minister was still reading passages out of the Bible and I wished he'd quite. I hated the fact that my Mom was dead, in some twisted part of my mind I just wanted to bury her and move on. I guess I just want the pain to go away.
I looked over at my Dad who was staring at Mom's casket like he wanted to throw up, and I really couldn't blame him, when I found out I actually did throw up. She was on her way to work, a truck stalled twenty feet in front of her, she was going to fast to stop. The moment I found out how she died exactly, I couldn't get it out of my head. What she was thinking, how she was acting, everything she could've been doing or feeling right before. It's never left my mind. I was with Troy when I found out, we were shopping at the mall when Dad called on my cell. I collapsed on the floor, right in the middle of the mall when the words slipped from Dad's mouth. Troy poured his lemonade on me to wake me up, and then I told him. Troy did nothing but simply wrap me in his arms, and he let me be in a state of shock.
That was all four days ago. And now I was standing outside watching as the minister finished reading from the Bible, he walked over to Mom's open grave and mumbled a few words. I hated the picture that was being played out in front of me, but I couldn't stop it. I jumped slightly as Dad moved from my side and dropped a rose gently on Mom's casket. I did the same and then walked quickly back to Troy and held his hand again. I watched as the casket was lowered into the six foot deep hole and the dirt was pushed over the wooden box. I flinched as the whole was completely covered and the minister walked again. It really happened. Mom was dead.
I felt as people moved away from me and Troy. Dad leaned over by me and rested a hand on my shoulder. "We're going back to the house to gather. Come when you're ready." He told me and I nodded my head in understanding. I felt as Dad walked away. I felt bad for him, he didn't know how to react to Mom's death on his own. And he really didn't know how to help me through it. Besides going over how she died exactly, Dad and I haven't talked about her death.
Sighing I walked away from Troy and I leaned my Mom's headstone. It read all that was true about her. When she was born, when she died, that she was a great person, wife and Mother. I finally released the tears that were in my eyes and let them flow. Troy sat next to me and he put his hand on my shoulder, just like Dad had moments ago.
"I'm really sorry." He croaked out, and I could tell that he felt like crying. Even though he didn't know Mom as well as I did, he still knew her. We'd been dating for six months now, and he'd been over at my house about ten times. He stayed for dinner three times, and Mom cooked it. The whole time he'd stay over it was in my room or in the backyard, but Mom did let him in and she checked on us every twenty minutes. So he knew who she was and what a great Mom she really was.
"It's fine." I whispered back at him and I reached my hand forward and lightly touched the gray marble that made up Mom's headstone.
"What can I do?" He asked watching me closely as I ran my fingers across the stone.
I shrugged my shoulders and took my hand back. Turning to face Troy I looked him in the eye and took his hands in mine. "Just be here for me. It's all I need from you." I told him and he nodded his head.
"Yeah, of course. I'll be here whenever you need me Kelsi." He told him smiling slightly and I realized right then and there that I loved Troy more then anything in the world. He was the best thing that had happened to me since I started high school. I couldn't imagine going through any of this without him, he was everything.
"Thanks." I told him and I smiled up at him, for the first time in four days. "I love you." I told him for the first time and I watched as his eyes grew wide.
"Really?" He asked and I knew he thought I was just saying it because of the circumstances we were in, but I wasn't. I really loved him.
"Yeah, you're my whole world. I love you." I told him again, loving the taste of the words on my mouth.
"I love you." He whispered back at me and I smiled more widely at him.
Leaning over I kissed him softly on the lips and I felt him kiss me back. Almost hating the mixture of feelings in me I couldn't let go of the pain that was suffocating my heart, but Troy had the best way of delaying it.