This performance was an impromptu one, and an embarrassing one at that. Its 6 years in the future, and Konohamaru had made a grave error in judgment. Luckily, he knew the MAN to talk to with these kinds of problems...he shoulda realized how it would turn out, considering his friend's habits, and his own...
After all, Konohamaru had to beat his boss in his own game, so he too had been training his voice these last few years. They often sang together now, so what happened...well, it wasn't that big of a surprise.
So Konohamaru walked over to Naruto's place, a fairly snazzy place in one of the richer, and more populous, areas of Konoha. And he knocks on his door.
Luckily, Naruto was in.
"Yo Man," Konohamaru called into the house
"Yo!" Came Naruto's call from inside the place.
"Open up, man!"
"What you want, man?"
"My girl just caught me!"
"You let her catch you?"
For the last few years, Konohamaru had been wooing the younger Hyuuga, Hyuuga Hanabi. She was a lovely young woman at 13, her body already promising that she would possess the Hyuuga bloodline limit stronger than even her older sister did.
"I don't know how I let this happen!"
"With who?"
"The girl next door, you know."
"Man..."
Indeed, there could only ever be one girl who Konohamaru could ever think of as 'The Girl Next Door'. Moegi. She'd been there his whole life, and as time went on, it was clear she had a crush on him. She'd always been so disappointed that he started making the moves on Hanabi, but she was determined to win him for herself.
Hanabi's and Konohamaru's relationship had always been kept on the hush hush side (because Neji makes a REALLY effective older brother figure. And Udon had always been on Konohamaru's side here, distracting Moegi away whenever Konohamaru had needed to make a quick escape. Udon was never really any competition for either of his ladies, either, as he had a thing for older women...Sakura could never really get away from being harassed by annoying kids for dates, but at least she could laugh about it now.
"I don't know what to do!"
"Say it wasn't you."
"Alright."
And the door opened, with a half dressed Naruto in the doorway. Walking out from behind him was a rather satisfied looking Temari, who left the house as Konohamaru came in, winking at the kid and blowing a kiss to Naruto.
Things around Naruto usually devolved into songs a lot, because Naruto himself usually had some sort of music playing. Whether it was an actual CD setup, a Kage Bunshin turned into one, or one of his sound based jutsus that create music, something was usually going on.
And with Konohamaru being as musically inclined as he has become...this lead to lots of free-stylin' between the two. This was just one of those cases. Ironic, really, that they are entirely on accident recreating a song from the past. It's like they say...Monkeys with Typewriters, and whatnot.
"Hanabi came in and she caught me red-handed
Creeping with the girl next door
Picture this, we were both caught makin' out on the bathroom floor
How could I forget that I had
Given her an extra key
All this time she was standing there
She never took her eyes off me"
Seriously, the Byakugan was cheating. How could you get away with anything when you got a lady who has that? But Moegi had been so persistent, and really, she was developing nicely, too. Not quite the "sexiest Kunoichi" that she always called herself when they played around when they were younger, but she was gettin there. Who could blame Konohamaru?
"How you can grant the woman access to your villa
Trespasser and a witness while you cling to your pillow
You better watch your back before she turn into a killer
Best for you and the situation not to call the beaner
To be a true player you have to know how to play
If she say a night, convince her say a day
Never admit to a word when she say makes a claim
And you tell her baby no way"
Seriously, this was Konohamaru's own fault in some ways. Naruto had told him to never even bring up the idea of giving Hanabi her own key. Old Man Hokage had had a big house, and he left it all to Konohamaru. With the sheer amount of rooms in the place, it was entirely unlikely that Hanabi would have ever got him from just scanning outside with the Byakugan...there was too much stuff.
Naruto had never really had any problem like this. His girls knew he had others; he never tried to hide it. Really, he turned the situation to his own advantage, and just pursued 'em all. He was, after all, a true player.
But now they were gettin really into it. Konohamaru didn't have the reserves Naruto did, but he had enough to make 3 Kage Bunshins if all they were good for were backup singers. He could make more, but that drained him too much.
And so the music in the room picked up, and Konohamaru sang with his backup singers.
"But she caught me on the counter (It wasn't me)
Saw me neckin' on the sofa (It wasn't me)
We even took a shower (It wasn't me)
She even caught me on camera (It wasn't me)
She saw the marks on my shoulder (It wasn't me)
Heard the words that I told her (It wasn't me)
Heard the moans get louder (It wasn't me)
She stayed until it was over"
Well, Naruto could understand that maybe Konohamaru just wasn't paying enough attention to his surroundings to notice Hanabi, and he could accept the sign that it was of giving Hanabi a key. But to let Moegi leave love marks?? To not notice pictures??? Seriously, these were stupid mistakes. Naruto was a little pissed at Konohamaru's idiocy here.
But this was still salvageable.
And Konohamaru sang again.
"Hanabi came in and she caught me red-handed
Creeping with the girl next door
Picture this, we were both caught makin' out on the bathroom floor
I had tried to keep her
From what she was about to see
Why should she believe me
When I told her it wasn't me
Getting into the moment, Naruto stood up, and Konohamaru followed. They walked out of the house, and Naruto continued singing. This wasn't that uncommon, and the neighbors loved it when he did...it was like getting a free show.
"Make sure she knows it's not you and lead her on the right prefix
Whenever you should see her make the gigolo flex
As funny as it be by you, it not that complex
Seeing is believing so you better change your specs
You know she not gonna be worrying bout things from the past
Hardly recollecting and then she'll go to noontime mass
Wait for your answer: go over there
But if she pack a knife you know you better run fast"
While Naruto was singing, Konohamaru had realized they were attracting an audience. He suddenly got really nervous, because they were pretty much airing his problems to the world via song. He looked over at Naruto, and was about to say something, anything, to get the song to stop. But the grin on Naruto's face stopped him...The music was still playing, and it looked like Naruto had a plan to work this out.
And so Konohamaru's Kage Chorus and he sang again.
"But she caught me on the counter (It wasn't me)
Saw me neckin' on the sofa (It wasn't me)
We even took a shower (It wasn't me)
She even caught me on camera (It wasn't me)
She saw the marks on my shoulder (It wasn't me)
Heard the words that I told her (It wasn't me)
Heard the moans get louder (It wasn't me)
She stayed until it was over"
And the crowd grew larger, thinking that these two had written a new, if strange, duet. Konohamaru had planned on changing the words around, to take out Hanabi's name, but as he started to say "Honey", Naruto smacked him lightly on the back, causing him to stumble, and restart the line. Apparently Naruto liked the verse as it was.
"Hanabi came in and she caught me red-handed
Creeping with the girl next door
Picture this, we were both caught makin' out on the bathroom floor
How could I forget that I had
Given her an extra key
All this time she was standing there
She never took her eyes off me"
Naruto had learned that people paid less attention to the actual words of a song, and more to the meaning, unless the words were very important to 'em. In this case, no one had really noticed that Konohamaru had used the name Hanabi...except, of course, two girls who had joined the crowd, and were making their way to the front.
And Konohamaru continued.
"Gonna tell her that I'm sorry
For the pain that I've caused
I've been listening to your reasoning
It makes no sense at all
We should tell her that I'm sorry
For the pain that I've caused
You may think that you're a player
But you're completely lost
That's why I sing"
As he sang this part, Hanabi and Moegi had pushed their way to the front, but hadn't spotted each other. Naruto saw both of them, and Konohamaru had seen neither. While pissed off at Konohamaru, this last verse made her rethink it a bit. It seems like he was rejecting Naruto's philosophies on women, and that he was regretting his decision. That's what she wanted, even if she thought he should suffer more. A lot more.
Moegi was also upset with Konohamaru, as she too had realized that Konohamaru had been acting the way he did because he was also dating Hanabi. Sure, Moegi came on strong, but she thought Konohamaru liked her, too. After all, they were still kids, and no one was doin anything they really shouldn't...not yet. And Moegi wanted to make sure she was the one that Konohamaru did that stuff with.
It was probably at this point that Moegi and Hanabi spotted each other, and began moving in to kick some ass. As they reached each other, though, Naruto stepped in between them. Konohamaru was still singing.
"Hanabi came in and she caught me red-handed
Creeping with the girl next door
Picture this, we were both caught makin' out on the bathroom floor"
Naruto took hold of each of the girls hands, and walked them over to where Konohamaru was. He had finally noticed who exactly was present. That was something Naruto was gonna have to work him on, if he couldn't even detect presences when they didn't try to hide em.
"How could I forget that I had
Given her an extra key
All this time she was standing there
She never took her eyes off me"
As Konohamaru smiled nervously at both the girls, Naruto gave them both a little shove, straight into Konohamaru's arms. The two girls glared at each other, but Konohamaru, getting the hint from Naruto, just tightened his grip, bringing their attention back to him. He smiled.
The music died off, and the crowd roared their approval. Even if he was once the village pariah, Naruto was now pretty much the biggest thing in the Elemental Countries, and people treated him immeasurably better.
But this song wasn't for the village...it was for the newest...couple?...in Konoha.
And only they really understood what this song was about, and why it was only performed on special occasions, and only with Naruto and Konohamaru.
Author's Notes: This song- "It Wasn't Me", by Shaggy.
This one was just a look into the future, and is pretty much the only one of its type. It came about from a comment that "This song would fit, seeing as it seems to be turning into a harem fic". The person had meant that Naruto would probably be having the problems…but it just struck me as hilarious if Konohamaru was coming to Naruto on this sort of problem, because Naruto is such an 'expert'.
Anyway, Naruto and his sensei decided to fight in a way that utilizes his talents (and probably inadvertently created family jutsu similar to the Yamanaka or Akimichi). Unfortunately, Naruto has to get to a certain skill level with it before it can be effective.