The REAL Sound Nin

by MogtheGnome

At a young age, Uzumaki Naruto had a chance encounter that would change his life. Now, he is putting what he learned to good use.

16. Chapter 16

"This time...the Kyuubi will not escape me! This time, I will catch him!"

"That's what you said the last 3 times, Itachi...and each time he made a fool out of you."

"Silence, Kisame. I have a foolproof plan, now that he is back in Konoha..."

"...You mind if I bring my lawn chair again? It's at least better than sitting on the ground to watch the show."

Indeed, the encounters between Naruto and Itachi were rather numerous, and ended in decisive victories for Naruto every time. Itachi, after the first encounter, was determined to prove that he could best Naruto in his own game, and Naruto took that as a personal challenge against his own skills. This lead to some rather hilarious interactions.

It all started out when Itachi and Kisame went to capture Naruto on his way over to find Tsunade and make her Hokage. This time, instead of being in a hotel room, Naruto was out on the streets, practicing his break dancing for the entertainment of some townsfolk.

When Itachi made several comments about capturing Naruto, he (Itachi) was surprised at the reaction of the onlookers.

"Oooh, it's on! It's on now! Someone's gonna get served!"

And when the music played, and Itachi found himself in a dance-off with Naruto...he was shocked. Especially with how everyone was laughing at him. No one EVER laughed at Itachi, and got away with it. Until, that is, he was served by Naruto.

"Looks like there's something your almighty eyes can't win for ya."

And that's what sealed the deal, and had Itachi determined to win. When it's on with an Uchiha, it's the other guy who gets served, damnit!

The numerous later attempts were all...unique...in their own right, too.

"Come on baby let's do the twist
Come on baby let's do the twist
Take me by my little hand and go like this
Ee-oh twist baby baby twist
Oooh-yeah just like this
Come on little miss and do the twist"

Kisame had no clue how Naruto managed to get Itachi to do THAT dance...but after Naruto took a few pictures, Itachi fled the scene.

"To the left, that it back now ya'll
2 hops 2 hops, 2 hops 2 hops
Right foot let's stomp, left foot let's stomp
Charlie Brown, hop it out now
Slide to the right, slide to the left
Take it back now ya'll
Cha Cha now ya'll"

Itachi was defeated rather easily here...The whole song he was off rhythm, and just lost it when they reached 'Charlie Brown'. What the fuck is the Charlie Brown, anyway? And Itachi's attempts at 'cha cha'-ing, too, were enormously hilarious.

"Itachi went down to Konoha; he was looking for a biju to steal.
He was in a bind 'cos he was way behind: he was willin' to make a deal."

...Yeah, that one was weird. Needless to say, Itachi lost there, too. Though it took Kisame a while to stop asking where he managed to scrounge up the golden ramen bowl he was forced to give to Naruto for losing that one.

So now, Itachi decided that he needed some REAL back up, as Kisame never helped him in these contests. He was too busy laughing, talking with that Tayuya girl...and whenever Jiraiya made it on the scene, they both had to flee.

But now...Itachi had an idea. If one Uchiha was as powerful as he was...Naruto stood no chance against multiple.

And then HE would be the one who was 'served'.

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"Damnit, Naruto, you know I don't like scary movies...why do you keep on tricking me into seeing them?"

"Aww, Tayuya, don't be like that! I thought you were the big, bad kunoichi...and you can't take a little zombie flick?"

"Well, you owe me one. I want the usual. And a good song this time!"

"...you know we got word that Itachi was coming around Konoha soon...Do ya really want to wander around Konoha at midnight just so he can ruin it? I mean, we're already right by the Uchiha district...selfish bastards used to horde the best movie theater in town!"

At this point Naruto sensed Itachi's presence...only he and Sasuke managed to ooze such a sense of self-satisfaction, though Itachi hid it better. Naruto also felt Itachi's chakra flare, and he felt numerous other chakra's appearing. This probably was what was bothering Tayuya, because they didn't feel like Bunshins of any sort, unless there was some kind of Rotting Bunshin no Jutsu.

So Naruto, while Tayuya was distracted with her ranting, formed a bunshin to go and scout. When it relayed its report...Naruto knew what he had to do.

"Fine, babe, I'll give ya a song."

And the music started, along with a howling wolf.

"It's close to midnight and something evil's lurking in the dark
Under the moonlight you see a sight that almost stops your heart
You try to scream but terror takes the sound before you make it
You start to freeze as horror looks you right between the eyes,
You're paralyzed"

'Damnit, he sensed me! With lyrics like that, he had to know. But does he know what I've done? Does he know just how screwed he is?'

Naruto was dancing around Tayuya as he sang, teasing her with goofy dance moves, making her laugh.

"'Cause this is thriller, thriller night
And no one's gonna save you from the beast about to strike
You know it's thriller, thriller night
You're fighting for your life inside a killer, thriller tonight"

Kisame had set up his lawn chair right outside, along the road, not even trying to hide himself. He figured Naruto would have to be an idiot not to have sensed Itachi's jutsu, so he might as well get the best seat possible now for Itachi's forthcoming humiliation. Because it ALWAYS ended like that, and Kisame found a frustrated Itachi to rank up there in his "Top Ten Funniest Things" list. Listening to one of the world's most feared missing-nin whine and cry like a little bitch always made him feel better.

And so Naruto and Tayuya continued walking, and dancing, right up past the Uchiha cemetery.

"You hear the door slam and realize there's nowhere left to run
You feel the cold hand and wonder if you'll ever see the sun
You close your eyes and hope that this is just imagination
But all the while you hear the creature creepin' up behind
You're out of time"

Naruto, unfortunately, was facing Tayuya as they rounded the corner. When Tayuya waved at Kisame, and then groaned into her hand, he turned around.

He saw two things.

First, he saw Kisame waving back.

Then, he saw Itachi...with a mob of zombie Uchiha behind him.

Seriously, the man filled up that graveyard...he should have the decency not to empty it.

"Naruto, you may have been able to defeat me...but now I have an army of Uchiha. Can you defeat THAT?"

It was a modified Edo Tensai that Itachi had copied off of Orochimaru years ago. It wasn't as effective, and lasted for only a very short time...but it was able to be used on large numbers with only a small increase in chakra consumption. It essentially just made an army of shambling zombies.

And Itachi looked so proud of himself, too.

'No one can defeat this many Uchihas...'

But Naruto just continued his song, in front of the army of Uchiha.

"'Cause this is thriller, thriller night
There ain't no second chance against the thing with forty eyes
You know it's thriller, thriller night
You're fighting for your life inside a killer, thriller tonight

Night creatures call
And the dead start to walk in their masquerade
There's no escapin' the jaws of the alien this time, they're open wide
This is the end of your life"

Naruto had left Tayuya behind, and began dancing his way towards the zombie horde. He danced through them, knocking them around as he went.

'He's mocking me again! He always does this! I hate it!'

Indeed, Naruto was taunting Itachi as he went, letting the zombies nearly attack him (and they were slow, even for zombie standards), in time to the song.

"They're out to get you, there's demons closing in on every side
They will possess you unless you change the number on your dial
Now is the time for you and I to cuddle close together
All thru the night I'll save you from the terrors on the screen,
I'll make you see"

The Uchiha Zombies had Naruto surrounded at this point. Naruto put on an expression of mock-horror, though Itachi, in his inner gloating, took it to be the real thing. As the Zombies closed in, Itachi took a second to glance over at Tayuya to see her reaction...only to notice she was chatting away with Kisame.

"Kisame, stop fraternizing with the enemy! Be useful for once."

At this point, Itachi looked back...and saw that Naruto had somehow changed into a zombie himself. Although it was only make-up (as Naruto found that Itachi easily saw through henge), it had been applied rather speedily by numerous Kage Bunshin, and looked rather realistic.

'Yes! I've finally won!'

But just as Itachi was going to shout out that it was Naruto who had been served, Naruto continued singing.

"That it's a thriller, thriller night
'Cause I can thrill you more than any ghost would dare to try
Girl, this is thriller, thriller night
So let me hold you tight and share a killer, diller, chiller,
Thriller here tonight"

'What? He can still sing? Zombies can't sing, can they? How the hell did he get turned into a zombie, anyway...Ah, well, just need to force the zombies to attack again, and put him down for good.

But they weren't responding. Naruto, utilizing a TON of chakra strings, with Kage Bunshin backing him up with even more, had all the zombies under his control. They were mostly brainless, anyway, and didn't resist all that much.

And then they all began to dance.

A spooky voice started speaking from right behind Itachi, to match the odd dance.

"Darkness falls across the land
The midnight hour is close at hand
Creatures crawl in search of blood
To terrorize y'awl's neighborhood
And whosoever shall be found
Without the soul for getting down
Must stand and face the hounds of hell
And rot inside a corpse's shell
The foulest stench is in the air
The funk of forty thousand years
And grizzly ghouls from every tomb
Are closing in to seal your doom
And though you fight to stay alive
Your body starts to shiver
For no mere mortal can resist
The evil of the thriller"

And the Uchiha Zombies, lead by Zombie Naruto began to dance at Itachi. He began to worry, as not even he could kill this many Uchiha (and Itachi knew exactly how many Uchiha he could handle. He had experience in killing them off, thank you very much).

Oddly, Itachi never thought that Zombies would be easy kills, seeing as all they could do was oddly shuffle about, and swing fists. No, all Itachi thought was that they were Uchihas, and therefore dangerous foes. There was no such thing as a weak Uchiha, in his mind...even dead ones.

So he was terrified when a veritable army of Uchiha, lead by a seemingly dead Naruto, began to crab-walk at him.

"Come, Kisame! We must flee!"

"...you sure? I think we can handle them."

"Fool! No one could defeat that many Uchiha! NO ONE!"

And with that, he teleported away. Kisame sighed, waved a farewell, and followed.

Naruto used his chakra strings to put the zombies back in their graves, and with Itachi gone, the chakra that was animating them disappeared.

The ANBU who had been watching the scene all applauded...it was a wonderful show.

Tayuya walked over to Naruto, and began wiping the make-up off his face.

"So, was that a good enough song for ya?"

Author's Notes: The Song-"Thriller", by Michael Jackson. It also has lines from "The Twist" (Chubby Checker), the "Cha Cha Slide" (DJ Casper), and "Devil Went Down To Georgia" (Charlie Daniels).

Well, Thriller was a long time in coming. It just took a lot of doing to get it right.

Comments? Criticisms? Song Ideas/Scene Ideas? Leave Reviews!