"Itachi went down to Konoha; he was looking for a biju to steal.
He was in a bind 'cos he was way behind: he was willin' to make a deal."

Well, it technically wasn't Konoha, but it WAS in Fire Country. Naruto was between concerts, traveling from Suna to Kumo. Itachi and Kisame had caught up to him while he, Tayuya, and Jiraiya were traveling through the woods.

"When he came across a jinchuriki sawin' on a fiddle and playin' it hot.
And Itachi jumped upon a hickory stump and said: "Boy let me tell you what:
"I bet you didn't know it, but I'm a fiddle player too.
"And if you'd care to take a dare, I'll make a bet with you.
"Now you play a pretty good fiddle, boy, but give the Uchiha his due:
"I bet a Ramen-bowl of gold against Kyuubi, 'cos I think I'm better than you."
The boy said: "My name's Naruto and it might be a sin,
"But I'll take your bet, your gonna regret, 'cos I'm the best that's ever been.""

Naruto, at the insistence of Tayuya, had tried his hand at various instruments. Sure, he could rock out on the guitar, but Tayuya wanted to see if he could branch out. Naruto had been a failure on her flute, and most other wind instruments they tried, but he did a lot better with strings.

Only by sheer irony did Itachi manage to find them as he was playing a violin.

And only be even greater irony was it that Itachi happened to have been forced by his parents to learn how to play the violin at a young age.

He IS Asian, after all.

So, Itachi took this as an opportunity to try to finally defeat the Kyuubi.

"Naruto you rosin up your bow and play your fiddle hard.
'Cos hells broke loose in Konoha and Itachi deals it hard.
And if you win you get this shiny Bowl made of gold.
But if you lose, the devil gets the fox's soul."

Itachi pulled out his violin case (why he carried it around on him, no one questioned), ready to do battle.

Kisame, Jiraiya, and Tayuya were off to the side, sitting and watching. Jiraiya had sealed some comfy fold-out chairs into a scroll, and Tayuya was heating up some popcorn.

"Itachi opened up his case and he said: "I'll start this show."
And fire flew from his eyes as he resined up his bow.
And he pulled the bow across his strings and it made an evil hiss.
Then a band of demons joined in and it sounded something like this."

Naruto thought using Amaterasu just for pyrotechnic effect was going a little bit overboard. So was using that demon genjutsu. Naruto liked to consider himself knowledgeable about demons, and whatever it was that Itachi dreamt up certainly didn't look like any demons he'd ever heard of.

Itachi smirked, very pleased with himself. 'They'll never know how lucky they were that I just used a genjutsu of the dreaded 'Yaoi Fangirl' Incubus, instead of summoning the real thing! Though I doubt even I could withstand the terrible, terrible might of such a being.'

"When the Uchiha finished, Naruto said: "Well you're pretty good ol' son.
"But if you'll sit down in that chair, right there, and let me show you how its done.""

This was always the best part, when Naruto showed Itachi up. Or so the observers thought.

"Fire on the moun, run boys, run.
Itachi's in the house of the risin' sun.
Chicken in the bread pin, pickin' out dough.
"Granny, does your dog bite?"
"No, child, no."

...what?

Kisame, Jiraiya, and Tayuya all looked stunned.

That...made no sense. And Itachi's piece clearly sounded better. He even had flames coming out his eyes and a demonic chorus!

Naruto? His was just...weird.

Kisame had stood up, to congratulate Itachi on finally defeating Naruto at his own game. He was getting ready to swoop over to the jinchuriki and make a break with him...

"Itachi bowed his head because he knew that he'd been beat.
He laid that golden Ramen Bowl on the ground at Naruto's feet.

...And then he sat back down, hanging his head in shame.

Tayuya and Jiraiya just sat there, jaws dropped. Itachi clearly played better...and he gave up?

Naruto said: "Itachi just come on back if you ever want to try again.
"I told you once, you son of a bitch, I'm the best that's ever been.""

And with that, Itachi signaled over to Kisame to leave.

"Oi, Jiraiya...you mind if I keep this chair? I might as well carry around my own, if this kind of thing happens a lot."

"Sure...I just want to know what the hell just happened."

As Kisame and Itachi shunshined away, Tayuya walked over to Naruto.

"So, babe, what did ya think? I kicked his ass, didn't I?"

"..."

Author's Notes: The Song- "Devil Went Down to Georgia" by Charlie Daniel's Band.

For those of you who were confused, go listen to the song on youtube. The basis of the song is that the devil goes and challenges this kid Johnny to a fiddle-off, where if the kid wins, he gets a fiddle made of gold, and if the devil wins, he gets his soul.

The Devil plays a CLEARLY better solo then Johnny, yet still manages to lose (which makes no sense, as he's the devil…isn't he supposed to not keep deals and stuff, anyway?).

This chapter was greatly inspired by this- http:// www. mcsweeneys. net /2005/8/16moe. html (take out the spaces).

I have been informed, though, of why Johnny (and thus Naruto) wins the match. Apparently, playing kick-ass rock music on a violin isn't as important as keeping the 'Soul of the Mountain Music', which Johnny did.

Comments? Criticisms? Leave reviews!