Disclaimer: I do not own the song lyrics Rihanna does.
Chapter 14
You're smiling again. Just sitting on the bed exactly like you have since I started this. But you're smiling again. Not your cruel smirk I always used to see, but a pure smile. This smile says I will always be here for you and I will always love you. I know you won't say anything until I have finished and have curled up next to you. Then you'll tell me you love me and we shall lie here together all night. And night is approaching fast. The sun is setting. I don't like night but at least I have you to hold me when it goes dark. At night I can't stop the pain coming back, I can't stop the memories engulfing me. That's when I hate and yet love you the most. When I remember what you did to me, how you hurt me, but you're the only one who can make it better.
The other day I heard this song and it sums up my feelings.
"Must everything you do make me wanna smile,
And I hate how much I love you boy,
I can't stand how much I need you,
But I just can't let you go,
One of these days maybe your magic won't affect me."
Maybe I will stop loving you, but I doubt it. Maybe I will stop hating you, but I know that will never happen. Maybe I will forgive you, only time will tell. But I do know one thing for sure that we will be together no matter what because the day you told me you loved me you ruined my life and made it impossible for me to ever love another again. And that's why I hate you.