Disclaimer: If I owned Dynasty Warriors, there would be an unlockable "Speedo" outfit for Gan Ning, Ma Chao and Sun Ce. No Speedo suit? Then I don't own DW!

AN: I live! And I'm back:) Enjoy, and tell me what you think:D (PS: Future updates will come soon, I have to transfer the stuff I've already written to my computer via floppy disk. Give me a week or two.)

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I squealed with joy and flung my arms around my brother's neck. "Ce!" I squealed, hugging him. "You're alive! You're okay! You're safe! You're..." I got a good whiff of him. "Ew! You STINK!" I yelled, taking a few steps back.

Ce chuckled. "You'd stink too if you were stuck in a prison cell for 2 years without a bath!"

"You haven't washed your hair in 2 years?" Tong said, looking revolted at the thought.

"Nope!" Ce said cheerfully. Tong looked like he was going to faint.

"So, where is everyone? Am I interrupting anything between you two?" Ce said, smirking.

"No," I said, annoyed.

"Uh, Shang Xiang, why are you in a dress?" Ce asked, raising an eyebrow. "I haven't stumbled into some crazy parallel universe, have I?"

"Naw, we had a party earlier," I said.

"Oh, cool! So everyone's inside?" Ce asked, excited.

"Yup! C'mon!" I said. Even though he smelled horrific, I was sure everyone would be just as excited to see Ce as I was. My big brother was home again!

"Ce, question. You're dead," I said, realizing something.

"Uh, no, I'm not," Ce said.

"But we saw your body die. You're buried next to Father," I said.

"I'll explain all of that when we get inside," Ce said. "It's a long story and I'm sure everyone wants to hear it."

I turned back towards Tong. "C'mon, Tong!" I said.

"Can't. I'm banned, remember?" Tong said. "If you guys need me, I'll be in my room, writing my thousand word essay on "Why not to attack my fellow generals with eating utensils" or whatever the hell it was..." He stomped off.

Ce looked at me blankly. I sighed. "Long story. I'll tell you later."

We entered the Great Hall, where now all the generals (except for Lu Xun, who didn't drink, and Gan Ning; I noticed triumphantly that he was still K.O'd) were either passed out in a pile in the corner, or rubbing their heads and stomaches due to hangovers.

"QUAN!" I yelled, racing towards where my brother was seated. He jumped a foot in the air. "Shang Xiang?" Quan asked. "What's the matter?"

"You're not going to believe this, brother! Look!" I said, pointing to Ce.

"And WHY have you brought a filthy homeless man into our palace?" Quan asked, looking confused.

"Brother, just look at him! You'll recognize him!" I persuaded.

"Alright, alright, but I'm telling you, this is a waste of time," Quan said, getting off his throne and looking at Ce.

"You... look awfully familiar," Quan finally said. "But that's impossible. The man I'm thinking of died almost 2 years ago!"

"Or did he?" Ce asked, smiling.

Da Qiao, who was looking suspicious, approached Ce cautiously. She looked at him, and everyone watched as a smile spread across her face. "My Lord!" she squealed, but before she could throw her arms around Ce in a big hug, Quan pushed her out of the way and gawked at Ce.

"Im... impossible..." Quan said, looking shocked. "You... you can't possibly be my brother!"

"Oh, but he can be!" I said happily. Quan let out a shriek of joy, quite uncharacteristically, and my two brothers hugged. "Ce, I don't know how, but it's good to have you back!" Quan said happily.

"Get over here, Shang Xiang!" Ce yelled, and I eagerly ran towards my hugging brothers, who pulled me in. I could almost see Father smiling down on us from the heavens, as his crazy children were together and united once more.

"Ce, how are you alive?" Quan asked, asking the question on everyone's mind.

"It's a long story, so I'll be happy to tell you," Ce said, letting us go. "So, everyone, cop a squat and pay attention!"

"As you know, I went off to fight with that stupid mystic, Yu Ji, who was off causing trouble. So, after I put the hurtin' on him, it turns out HE was a phantom! The REAL Yu Ji thunked me upside the head with something hard and knocked me out cold. When I woke up, I was in this disgusting jail cell!

"Anyway, Yu Ji came to tell me that I shouldn't bother trying to escape, that I was going to spend the rest of my life in this stupid cell, that I would get one serving of bread and water per day, and he informed me that he sent a phantom that looked just like me back to Wu, so everyone would think I was dead, and not think to look for me.

"Apparently, it worked. So, 2 years later, Yu Ji finally died. Meaning, his guards who lived in his little hut with him decided they didn't want me around any more, so they kicked me out of my little cell. I headed back for home, and I just got back a few hours ago."

"My word," Quan said. "Who knew those phantoms could be so convincing?"

"Tell me about it. One of them convinced everyone in Wu that I was dead, and here I am today," Ce said.

"Um, Ce?" I asked. "Are you sure that was the real Yu Ji who died? Maybe he just faked his death, or used a phantom?"

"I actually don't know, Shang Xiang," Ce said.

Da finally grew impatient and stormed up to Ce, inspecting him. Her brown eyes filled with happy tears and she threw her arms around my brother.

They hugged, and Ce kissed her gently. "Da, I've missed you so much it's not even funny," he said, hugging her again.

Da looked happier then she'd been in two years. "Oh, my Lord, I've missed you too," she said. "And guess what? I've got great news!"

"Really? What is it?" Ce asked.

"I'm finally pregnant! With our baby! Isn't it wonderful?" Da asked.

I've never seen Ce so happy. Pretty much screaming with delight, he hugged Da Qiao so tightly I thought her head might come off. "Oh, Da, you're joking! That's awesome!" Ce cheered. He kissed her again.

"Oh, and one more thing, darling," Da said.

"Yes, my glorious wife?" Ce asked, expecting MORE wonderful news.

"You're DISGUSTING! My goodness, you haven't taken a bath or shaven in 2 years! We have to clean you up right away!" Da said, returning to her old self in the blink of an eye. Ce sighed. "Ughhhh... Let's go."

Quan and I watched blankly as Da frog-marched Ce away, resisting the urge to jump up and down and squeal like morons. "I can't believe he's really back!" Quan said happily.

"I know!" I said, then remembered something. "Hey, now that Ce's back, don't you have to give up your seat on the throne?"

"Oh, meat buns!" Quan said, annoyed. "Well, it depends on whether he wants to be Emperor or not. Father did crown ME as his successor, you know."

"Only because Ce wasn't around," I said.

"Well, we'll discuss it in the morning, I suppose," Quan said.

Xiao walked in at that point, blissfully unaware of everything that just happened and apparently returning from a trip to the chamberpots. "Whew, that was a nice pee!" she said, confirming my suspicions. "Where's my dear sweet Zhou Yu?"

Quan looked down at the pile of his generals. "Um... right here," he said, pushing Lu Meng's collapsed body aside, revealing Zhou Yu's passed out form.

"Aw, man! He got wasted again!" Xiao pouted. She looked at Lu Xun, who had been quiet. "Um, Xun, would you mind helping me?"

"Not at all, Xiao," Xun said. Since we (me, Da, Xiao, Tong, and Xun) were all younger generals, we hung out quite frequently. Now that Ce was back, though, everyone would go back to hanging out together. One of the best parts of Wu was that we were all like a big family.

I watched in blank amusement. Xiao grabbed Zhou Yu's arms and Xun grabbed Zhou Yu's legs, and together they hoisted the unconcious strategist up and carried him off. "G'night, Shang Xiang! G'night, Lord Sun Quan!" Xiao yelled.

"G'night," I said, and Quan waved politely. Once they were gone, Quan looked down at the pile of his generals. "I don't suppose you want to carry them back?" he asked.

"Not a chance," I replied.

"Works for me. G'night, Shang Xiang," Quan said, and left me alone.

I looked down at the general pile again. I would have loved to be a fly on the wall during the moment when they all woke up and saw themselves, but I was more interested in another handsome general lying nearby.

I walked over to Gan Ning's still K.O'd form and studied him. Even though I pounded him rather hard in the eye, I didn't hit him hard enough to bruise his skin. (Hooray!) He was wearing a green vest, but it exposed enough of his chest to show off his rock-hard abdominal muscles, and very hesitantly, I reached out my hand to touch them. I smiled to myself. Shang Xiang likey.

I almost couldn't believe how... how much I liked him! I barely knew the guy, and yet he made me feel so topsy-turvy inside it was very confusing. It would be nice if someone could explain these weird feelings to me...

I looked around. Nobody was around, as expected. I quickly leaned over and whispered, "I'm sorry!" and, wishing he was awake for this, kissed him on his mouth (which thankfully didn't taste like alcohol anymore) and scurried off to my room, giggling like a little girl. Wow.

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:D More where that came from! Review, tell me what you think, and peace out:)