Holy poop, I'm suprising myself. Normally I'm not so dedicated to keep updating stuff like this. Two more days of rapid updating and I can slack off for a couple months-- weeks-- days. Sorry. :D
Hey, too bad I didn't have the same motivation before school let out!
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The Ling Tong fanclub apparently had gotten more signs since I'd last been outside, since they now read "KILL THE PRINCESS", "DESTROY THE PRINCESS", "OBLITERATE THE PRINCESS" and, finally, a "LING TONG RULES" sign amidst the hatred.
Ouch. Talk about feeling the love.
"Well, at least someone supports me," Tong complained.
"Yeah, but not for long," I answered. I turned towards my brother, who rang the gong starting the battle.
"Look, Shang Xiang, I don't want to hurt you or anything. So any time during this fight, if you feel any pain at all, just tell me and I'll finish you off. Got it?" Tong asked, raising his fists.
"Whatever, ya big wimp! Let's go!" I yelled, getting into a fighting pose.
"WHAT did you just call me!?" Tong said angrily. "That's a nice thing to say to a guy who's going easy on you!"
"Pft! Ya mad? Come and get me!" I replied. The only way to actually get him to shut up and fight me was to piss him off, which I was very good at doing.
"You overconfident bitch! I'm gonna kill you!" Tong screamed, and swung at me. I yelped and blocked. "Is that all you got? Pathetic!" I said, swinging back. Normally I'd smack him for calling me a bitch, but I didn't care. Angry Tong was fun to mess with!
"Ow!" Tong yelled, my fist colliding with his shoulder. "I was gonna go easy on you, 'til you opened your big mouth!" he yelled, swinging at me.
"Owowowow!" I yelped, blocking. Even though I was blocking his fists, the impact was hurting my arms! "AAOW!!" I yelled, when Tong's fist collided with my jawbone.
Tong apparently realized he was dead. "Put a sock on it, ya moron!" I yelled, kicking him in the head, causing him to stagger back a few feet.
"OW!" Tong yelled. "You're gonna pay for that!" he yelled, kicking me back.
"OW!" I yelled, getting kicked in the stomach. I got him back by punching him back in the head.
Our fight pretty much carried on like that, both of us kicking, punching, and not to mention screaming profanity at each other. "You're better than I thought! But I'm gonna end this, NOW!" I yelled, swinging at my friend.
"HAH! In your dreams!" Tong yelled, swinging right back.
I punched Tong in the face at the exact same time he punched me in mine. All I could think was-- OW! THAT HURT!
"..."
We both stood there, our fists mashed into each other's face, until after maybe 20 seconds Tong whined in pain and fell on the ground with a THUD. Not even a second later I landed on the ground with another THUD.
"Ugh... I fell... half a second... after you did... making me... the winner..." I wheezed triumphantly, giving the thumbs-up sign.
"Dammit... you better... not have... busted my face..." Tong groaned.
The crowd was quiet, then exploded with cheering. (Yes, the Ling Tong fanclub was booing louder than life itself.) "Unbelievable!" Quan yelled, scurrying out into the ring and stepping over the two of us. "In an INCREDIBLY close match, Sun Shang Xiang fell 20 seconds after Ling Tong did, making her the winner! Sun Shang Xiang goes onto round 3! Ling Tong goes home with NOTHING!!"
"Except a busted face..." Tong whined. "Ow..."
More cheers, followed by booing from the Ling Tong Fanclub. "Hang on, Shang Xiang, I got ya," a voice I recognized to be Ce's said, scooping me up. "C'mon, let's get you outta here..."
"Hey! Aren't you forgetting someone?" Tong groaned.
"Umm... HEY, GIRLS! OVER HERE!" Ce yelled, waving over the Ling Tong Fanclub.
"What? No!!!" Tong wailed, unable to move as the screaming stampede charged over. "This isn't happening! HEEEEEEEELP!!" he screamed, while two of the girls dragged him off by his leg.
Ce carried me back inside and sat me down on a chair. "You okay?" he asked, and Da and Xiao ran over to see if I was alright.
"Yeah... I'll live.. is my nose busted?" I asked, wincing in pain.
"Naw, it looks OK," Ce said, tipping my chin up to get a good look.
"Sun Ce, you've got to help me. How do I beat that maniac Gan Ning?" Zhou Yu asked, scurrying up. "I need some advice, quick."
Ce thought. "Advice for the fight, or the hospital?" Seeing the look of pure terror on Zhou Yu's face, he laughed and said, "I'm kidding, bro. I honestly don't know how to beat that guy; from what I've seen, he's pretty tough. Give it all you've got, and don't be a weenie and give up like Lu Xun did."
Zhou Yu sighed, walked over to Xiao and took her hands. "Xiao Qiao, my sweet wife? Will you still love me if I get my face crushed by Gan Ning?"
Xiao beamed. "Of course I will, Zhouie! I love you for who you are, not what you look like!"
Zhou Yu seized Xiao and hugged her. "Oh, my dear Xiao Qiao, you don't know how, um, relieved that makes me feel," he said.
"But, um, try NOT to get your face mashed in," Xiao said quickly. "I'll love you if you're all mangled, but I'd rather you stay pretty, OK?"
Zhou Yu sighed and slouched out dramatically. "I'm dead," he grumbled.
Ce and I exchanged glances. "He's dead," we said in unison. I realized something. "Oh no! I have to fight the winner of this battle!" I wailed. "Zhou Yu, TRY AND WIN!" I yelled at Zhou Yu's retreating figure.
Gan Ning headed out after Zhou Yu, looking bored. "Come on," he grumbled. "How about someone challenging?"
Me, Ce, Xiao and Da headed out to watch the match. Zhou Yu and Gan Ning were both in fighting stances, ready to go, (except that Zhou Yu looked rather pale) when Quan rung the gong. Zhou Yu, probably wanting to get his inevitable doom over with, swung a kick at Gan Ning's head, who blocked the kick almost easily, looking bored.
Gan Ning took advantage of this and kicked Zhou Yu back in the stomach, knocking him backwards onto his butt. Zhou Yu yelped, got up, and charged Gan Ning, punching him right in the face.
Strangely enough, this got a reaction. "OW! My face!! My face!!" Ning yelped, grabbing his face.
"Ha!" Zhou Yu said triumphantly.
Gan Ning slowly lowered his hands. His nose was bleeding (I cringed on the inside) and he looked quite angry. "I'm gonna KILL YOU!" Ning screamed, kicking Zhou Yu right in the neck. (Xiao screamed and covered her eyes)
Zhou Yu went flying and Gan Ning went after him, where poor Zhou Yu was balancing right on the edge of the ring. Gan Ning poked him and Zhou Yu landed with a THUD outside the ring.
"RING OUT FOR ZHOU YU! GAN NING WINS!" Quan yelled, and the crowd exploded again. Zhou Yu groaned and stood up, wobbling a bit. Xiao ran out and helped him limp back into the waiting house where Ce, Da, and I were waiting. "Zhou Yu!!" Xiao wailed, hugging her husband. "Are you okay!?"
"I'm... fine, Da Qiao," Zhou Yu groaned, rubbing his neck and chest.
Xiao yelped in fear. "Zhouie!! I'm not Da Qiao!! I'm Xiao Qiao!! Your wife? Remember?"
"Oh, yes... you're my wife... Xiao Qiao... Ooh.. that Gan Ning packs a punch..." Zhou Yu groaned, apparently out of it.
"Don't say that!!" I whined. "I gotta fight him next!"
"H-how many fingers am I holding up!?" Xiao asked frantically, holding up 2 fingers.
"November?" Zhou Yu said, then fell over unconcious. Xiao screamed in fear.
"Oh, shoot! I almost forgot!" Ce said. "I gotta fight my wife next!"
Da smiled and hugged her husband. "Well, my Lord, we might as well get this over with!" She walked on out.
"How do I hurt my wife?" Ce wondered, heading out.
"Owww... Shang Xiang, is my face okay?" Ning groaned, coming back into the room.
"Um... yeah, handsome as always," I said, blushing.
"Good. Excuse me while I mop up the dry blood..." Ning said, and left again.
Xiao snorted. "Shang Xiang, you're pathetic." She turned back toward Zhou Yu. "Zhou Yu? You remember me, right?"
"Of course I do. You're Xiao Qiao, my loyal wife," Zhou Yu said. "By any chance, did you get the description of that horse that plowed into me? I'd like to speak to the owner."
"AAAH!! He doesn't remember!!" Xiao screamed. She looked at her husband's face again. "Shang Xiang, does his face look okay to you?" Xiao asked, terrified.
I looked. "Yeah, I guess. Hey, have you noticed that every single guy we know in this kingdom cares more about their face than they care about us?"
Xiao rolled her eyes. "Yeah, it always makes me sad when Zhouie would rather look at a mirror than me, but you get used to it."
"NEXT UP, WE HAVE SUN CE, VS THE LOVELY DA QIAO! NOW, SUN CE AND DA QIAO ARE MARRIED, AND THIS MAY HAVE AN IMPACT ON THE WINNER OF THIS BATTLE!" Quan hollered from outside. "If Sun Ce and the lovely Da Qiao would like to GET THEIR ASSES OUT HERE, we could begin!"
"Oops, sorry!" Da pologized, sprinting into the arena.
Ce reluctantly shuffled onstage and sighed. "Da, baby, c'mon! You're pregnant!"
"I'll be fine, my Lord," Da protested.
Quan rung the gong, and the battle began.
"Now, my Lord, before I defeat you mercilessly, I want you to know I love you, you're the greatest man in the universe, and a true warrior of the Three Kingdoms!" Da said, obviously apologizing for the whooping she was gonna give my brother. Ce looked like he was thinking hard (shocker) and walked over to Da, who was still talking.
"Lord Sun Ce, I hope that the outcome of this battle will not change your love for me, or anything else like that," Da said, not noticing Ce picking her up and carrying her over to the edge of the ring. "So let us begin this battle, and--"
"Da?" Ce said.
"Yes, my lord?" Da asked.
"I win," Ce said, and gently placed his wife on the ground OUTSIDE of the ring.
"HEY! NO FAIR!" Da screamed angrily, stomping her foot. "My Lord, you TRICKED me!"
"Yup!" Ce said cheerfully. "What were you saying before, that once you beat me, you hoped I would still love you?"
Da sighed. "Alright, my Lord, you win. BUT IT DOESN'T MEAN I'M HAPPY ABOUT IT!!" She stomped back towards the waiting building, muttering profanity I didn't even know. (And I have two older brothers!)
Xiao and I exchanged glances as Da stomped past us. "Sis? Are you okay?" Xiao asked, poking her sister.
Da turned to face us and hissed at us. Amazing how scary that girl can be.
"Um... SUN CE WINS!" Quan yelled. "WE'LL HAVE A SHORT INTERMISSION BREAK, THEN MOVE ON TO THE SEMI-FINALS! SUN SHANG XIANG AND GAN NING WILL FIGHT, AND THE WINNER OF THEIR MATCH WILL FIGHT SUN CE IN THE CHAMPIONSHIPS!!"
"Whaaaaaat!?!" I yelled. "I can't fight Gan Ning! My nose is bleeding!"
Gan Ning himself even protested. "Mine too!! C'mon, I don't fight girls! Let her drop out, and I'll fight Sun Ce!"
"WHAAAAAAT!?!" I yelled again, rearing on Gan Ning. "YOU'RE goin' DOWN, pirate boy!" I wheeled back towards Quan. "Quan! Ring that gong! I want to get this over with!!"
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Oooh, cliffhanger. :D Man, two more days of this extreme updating and I can take a break. If I keep updating this thing every day, I'm gonna run out of chapters, and have to write some NEW ones... UGGGGGGGGHHHHHHH... I'll have to dig up my copy of DW5 and PLAY IT to get some inspiration...
(See, the thing with my writing style, and the thing about me that pisses so many of my readers off is- I don't write anything until I get the urge to write it. Basically if I'm not feeling it, I don't want to slap some crap onto a chapter and present it to you guys, like this...
Ssx: Oh ning I lve u
Neng: Hah I luv u 2 letas make out
they make ot ling tong comes in
tOng: omg Ssx i hate you!!!!!
SXx & niNg: omg w/e
tey make outmore & linG t0nb jumps off a clif
teh enddd
See? Wasn't that atrocious? The English language is crying right now. I think there should be a circle in hell for every person who's ever substituted the word "you" with the letter "u" in a story. Gives me the hives.
And NO, that's not the ending of the story, I wouldn't blow it like that :D But anyways, for all those annoying "Plz reviw soon" reviews, CUT IT OUT. Either give me a decent review or-- alright, I'm not gonna say DON'T REVIEW AT ALL, because I am greedy and evil and I like reviews. D
I do (somewhat) appriciate all reviews I get, and I will usually try and reply to them if I have time/have something good to say other than "Thank you, stay tuned" which sounds really pathetic. You guys give me compliments on my writing, the least I can do is give you a good response. :D
Speaking of which, I read through the beginning of the story again and realized half the crap I wrote there contradicts all the crap I've written here. Oh well, I don't care. I would re-write Chapters 1-7, but, lazy.
Geez, the notes are longer than the chapter. Go figure.