Title: Is
Author: GEFM
Rating: T
Genre: General and Romance
Disclaimer: I own nothing and have no friends.

Chapter 11

'Is this my room?' Nope. Coming out of my haze, I tossed in my sleep until my eye caught the digital clock on Clark's desk. 4:17.

Call me an insomniac and honestly lately you'd be correct.

I'm a liar too.

Maybe not, I've always been gray on the issue of where lying and withholding the truth begins. Chloe would tell you its all the same thing, but I'm not so sure. From what I see of politicians on television, my icons and one day predecessors, I'd have to live that lie sometimes for "the greater good". The great election outcomes might not have happened if everyone's dirty laundry were hung out to dry. At least not the way they should. The American people say they want honest candidates, but you're never going to see them telling you their life stories to all the world, indiscretions included.

Anyway, I'm dodging the gun here. I haven't been completely open about everything that's been bothering me.

Ever since the encounter with Chloe's loud mouth relative Lois, I haven't been able to stop thinking about that day. I had a lot of my own stuff going on at the time because my mother and father were comfortably at odds with one another. I had to play monkey, stuck in the middle.

What I remember was a truth serum doused Chloe, who ended up becoming the ultimate human lie detector. She could extract the truth from anyone –minus the mysterious Clark Kent— and she hadn't handled it well at all. In fact she'd become enamored with herself and her new found ability. Abusing it to all extents, she ended up falling deep in the pit with Lionel Luthor. He had later attempted to kill her later that summer in revenge for the secrets he had divulged to her on that day.

All in all, it hadn't been the best of experiences. She was remorseful especially to me after that and catered her ferocity a bit.

It still nagged at me in the back of my mind. Because she had experienced power before and every time she had failed to fight it, in fact she had "embraced it" like Clark had once bitterly said.

I'm not of the school of the half-fulls or the half-emptys. That's a generally narrow minded way of categorizing people, not to mention a biased one. When's the last time you heard someone tell you it was great to be a pessimist?

No, I'm a realist. I live here in the world where things aren't black and white. And yeah I'm challenged everyday for it with mind bullets and the man of steel as my best friends but that doesn't equate into my real philosophies.

To be unforgivably frank, I don't think Chloe will be able to beat this. Especially after I saw what she could do today.

I know that makes me sound terrible and hypocritical, since I was the one to criticize Clark for the same lack of faith.

Like I said, I haven't been very up front about certain things, this being one of them.

There were times I pushed her because I too believed she could do it. Which is why I kept with the routines, so she would have a chance. If anyone could overcome something this big, it would be her. At the end of the day though, I see this maniacal sparkle in her eye grow bigger and it shakes me right to the core.

She can't be blamed really, because I don't think any human can fight the sensation that comes from having that sort of power. I love her and that was why I came back. To try, to force Clark to open his eyes before it's too late.

I don't think either of us could stand it if we merely sat back and watched her deteriorate without having lifted a finger. I don't think Clark could ever continue to do what he does knowing he hadn't told her.

If he didn't get the chance to take her hand and tell her he loves her, I don't think he could live that way.

Hard as it was for me to say, jealousy and life long rivalries aside, I sensed Clark's destiny the same way Chloe did. She called me once she found out I too was apart of "the secret club" and we sat up all night talking about what he might do one day, who he might become.

If he didn't get her he would never be able to move on. Then where would the world be?

I loved Chloe Sullivan and she loved my best friend, Clark Kent. But more than anything she loved this world.

She wasn't a tree hugger or anything like that, but she was a protector at heart. Her search for the truth was no different than a lawyer's search for justice or a fireman's search for life.

She was selfless and she would never ever allow the world to head toward its ruin if she could help it. I know she would never want to be the cause of it either.

Destiny has always scared me, but I also don't like doubting it. I didn't like thinking about what Chloe's destiny might be, but maybe this is it. Maybe it is inescapable, inevitable for her to be consumed by amorality.

Chloe, the woman who holds the most integrity and morals than anyone else I know, will find her future being a criminal and slave to her own subconscious.

There is still something ineffably unfitting about that, but who am I to say what should and shouldn't be? This may just be apart of some bigger plan I don't see yet, some training for Clark and I.

Maybe she has to die for Clark to embark on the next journey in his life.

Even that seemed unreal, because I always pictured Chloe in our future, not because it was the right thing. It was inherent that she'd be there. She was born to be there.

None of that was up to me, regardless of its unfairness. Life is unfair. I know, I wrote the book.

But if I did my small part in the large production, Clark could go on righting the world's wrongs the way she always wanted to. If she dies, when she dies Clark will be able to take her with him.

He would go on saving people and she would be right there beside him in the place she always wanted to be…

His heart.