Ahh, we're finally getting into the fun part of the chapter, the Nanman Campaign!! Hard to believe that in all these chapters, this is the second actual DW battle that I've written about... and it's really not a battle, more like a campaign.

Remember, the roster for this is: Sun Shang Xiang, Ling Tong, Gan Ning, and Xiao Qiao. :) Just in case anyone forgot.

Also, before I forget, these are character basics- like what they usually wear throughout the story, what voice they have, how old they are, ect. Not really important; I keep it in mind when I write, so maybe you'd be interested. Here we go-

Order goes- Character, Age, Outfit, Voice

Sun Shang Xiang- Age 18, DW4 #3, DW4 voice

Ling Tong- Age 20, DW5 #1, DW5 voice (only one there is :P)

Gan Ning- Age 23, DW4 #1, DW4 voice

Sun Ce- Age 25, DW4 #1, DW4 voice (thank GOD)

Da Qiao- Age 18, DW4 #1, DW5 voice (sounds older :P)

Xiao Qiao- Age 17, DW5 #1, DW5 voice (sounds older too)

Zhou Yu- Age 24, DW4 #1, DW5 voice (NOT Xtreme Legends, regular DW5)
Lu Xun- Age 17, DW5 #1, DW4 voice

Sun Quan- Age 23, DW5 #1, DW5 voice (I forgot the DW4 voice :D)

This is a VERY long chapter and my personal favorite to write; lots of humor, sexual innuendo, and other stuff. :) Enjoyyyy

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The rest of the day dragged on without much happening, and the dawn of the Nanman Campaign day arrived. Bright and early the following morning, I got up and went to my private bathroom and got cleaned up. I scrubbed my hair (which I seriously needed to get cut) and was interrupted by a knock on my door.

"Shang Xiang! Hurry up!" yelled my brother on the other side of the door. "They're waiting for you downstairs!"

"I'll be there in a minute, Ce," I yelled back.

"What? I can't hear you!" Ce yelled, and opened the door. I screamed and dove under the water. "CE!!!!!" I screamed.

"Whoa! My bad!" Ce yelled, covering his eyes with his hands and shutting the door. "Sorry, Shang Xiang! But at least we're all family!"

I growled under my breath and jumped out of the water. I dried off, got dressed in a light-colored top and a pair of red shorts, (DW4 #3) tied up my red boots and ran out the door. I then remembered I forgot my chakrams and ran back.

"See ya, brothers!!" I yelled to my siblings, standing nearby doing nothing. "Bye Da! Bye Xiao!"

"Whaddaya mean, BYE!?" Xiao demanded, putting her hands on her hips. "I wanna come too! Lord Sun Quan said it was OK! Can I come, Shang Xiang? You said I could yesterday!"

Oh yeah, I did, didn't I? I glanced at Gan Ning, who shrugged indifferently, and Ling Tong, who now had a "I hope the Nanmans kill me" expression on his face.

"Xiao wants to come with us," Tong grumbled. "Shang Xiang, tell her it's a bad--"

"We discussed this yesterday! I think it's a great idea! Of course you can come!" I said, eager to have my friend tag along.

"WHAT!? Shang Xiang, this is the part when you tell her that's the dumbest idea you've heard in your entire life," Tong whined.

"Why shouldn't she come? It's not gonna be dangerous, and it'll be great to have another girl tag along, too!" I said, grinning at Xiao.

Tong sighed. "Well, can't say I didn't try."

"Yay!" Xiao said happily. "I'll go get my stuff!!" She ran off in the direction of her room and came back, armed with her red fans, (Qiao Grace) and dressed in a white top with orange sleeves and orange shorts. (DW5 outfit) "Oh boy! I'm so excited!" she said, jumping up and down.

Gan Ning grinned and adjusted his dark vest. As usual, his brown hair was spiked up, tied back by a bandana, and had two feathers sticking out of it. "Alright, I'm ready when you guys are! Let's go!" He said, fixing one of his little bells on his waist.

We headed outside and mounted our horses. "WAIIIT!!" yelled a voice from behind us. Xiao Qiao turned around and beamed happily. "Zhou Yu! Hi!"

"Princess, Xiao, all of you, wait up," Zhou Yu said, waving a piece of paper around. "I was up all night cartographing this map of the Nan Zhong region, Lord Sun Quan's request. Take it with you!"

Xiao took the map from her husband and handed it to me. "Thanks, Zhouie!" she said happily.

Zhou Yu looked concerned. "Um, Xiao, honey? Do you think you can, um, stay here at home?"

"Why?" Xiao asked curiously.

"Well, I don't want you getting hurt, especially since I can't accompany you and protect you from certain danger," Zhou Yu said.

"Aw c'mon, Zhouie, gimme some credit! I can take care of myself!" Xiao whined. "Besides, in the completely unlikely chance that something happens to me, I got Tongie to protect me!"

"Hah! Tongie's not protecting anything other than his own-- OOF!" Tong grunted, when I elbowed him in the side. "I mean, uh, yeah, whatever you say, Xiao," he said, glaring over at me.

"Alright, but please, be careful," Zhou Yu said. Xiao hopped off her horse and hugged Zhou Yu. "OK! I love you!" she said happily.

"I hate to break up such a cute moment, but are we going or not?" Gan Ning complained.

"Quit being such a whiny-- OOF!" Tong said angrily, when I hit him in the side again. "Will you PLEASE stop that!?"

"No. I want you to call a truce, right now," I said sternly. "That goes for you, too, Gan Ning. I don't want anybody screwing up this mission, pissing off the Nanman King, and, most importantly, making ME look bad in front of my brothers. Am I clear?"

"Clear," both replied. "I still hate you, though," Tong added.

"Stick it up your ass, bitch," Gan Ning said cheerfully. (talking to Ling Tong) "I don't like you either!"

"SHUT UP!!" I screamed. I could already tell, this was gonna be a LONG mission...

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

So began our mission. I could see it written down in the history of Wu Quan kept talking about writing-- Early in the morning, Commander Sun Shang Xiang (meee) headed off to the Southern Nanman territory, accompanied by fellow Wu generals Xiao Qiao, Ling Tong, and Gan Ning. It sounded pretty lame, but hopefully it'd get better.

As expected, no troops were willing to come with us, and since I figured we wouldn't need any, we were all on our own. So far, so good; Xiao seemed to be off on her own little world, and Ling Tong and Gan Ning hadn't started their daily arguements yet.

"Hey, where the hell are we?" Gan Ning asked, breaking the silence.

"Shut up," Ling Tong promptly answered.

"What!? You don't tell me what to do, you rotten shit!"

"Actually, he kinda does," I said, digging around in my horse's saddlebags for the map Zhou Yu had drawn of the Nanman region. "Ling Tong's second-in-command for this mission; if I die, you guys take orders from him. Unless he dies too, then you can do what you want."

"Well, you're NOT dead, so I still don't take orders from HIM. Case closed," Gan Ning said, folding his arms. "Besides, nobody's gonna die! The Nanmans are notoriously peaceful and friendly."

"Yeah, well, for the time being you do take orders from me, so be quiet," I said, retrieving the map.

"Um... seriously, where ARE we going?" Ling Tong asked, after a long pause.

"Well, according to this thing... wait a minute... which way's right-side-up!?" I asked, tilting the map. "I can't tell what's the top of the map! It's all a bunch of lines!!"

"Gimmie that!! My precious Lord Zhou Yu drew that!" Xiao said, snatching the map from my hand and studying it, ignoring Gan Ning, who was making gagging noises.

"We're so screwed," Ling Tong muttered. Xiao apparently didn't hear this, and said, "Well, it's official!"

"Yeah?" I said. "What's official?"

"It's official that I have no idea where we're going!" Xiao said happily, apparently not realizing that this was a bad thing.

She attempted to stuff the map in her pocket in such a brutal fashion that it ripped in half. Then the larger half blew out of her hands and floated off into a nearby river. A bird swooped through the air and snatched the other half from Xiao's hand.

"See, told you we're screwed," Ling Tong said, always the voice of pessimism.

I smacked my forehead. "Any ideas?"

"Yeah!" Tong said. "Turn around and get another map!"

I snorted. "Tch! We don't need a map! Let's just wing it!"

"We can't WING IT! We only brought enough food for 2 days!" Tong said angrily.

Gan Ning looked up with a mouthful of food. "Make that one day," he said sheepishly. "Sorry."

"Then let's ask someone for directions!" I said, ignoring Gan Ning.

"We're NOT asking for directions!" Ling Tong said.

"What is it with men and directions?" I asked.

"What is it with WOMEN and MAPS!?" Ling Tong asked. "Asking for directions is humiliating! Let's just go back to Wu and get us another map!"

"No fair!" Xiao argued. "Zhouie was up all night slaving over that map! We can't make him make another one!"

"Sure we can! And we can mention that YOU were the one who destroyed the ORIGINAL map, too!" Ling Tong said angrily.

Gan Ning, who had been quietly eating our rations during the whole arguement, piped up. "Shang Xiang? I have a confession to make."

"Besides the fact that you just ATE ALL OUR FOOD!?" I screamed.

"I know how to get to friggen Nan Zhong!" Gan Ning said angrily. "So quit arguing! Geez!"

"Why didn't you say that before, you stupid pirate!?" Ling Tong nearly screamed.

"Because a certain pretty-boy-wanna-be forbade me from talking, as you might recall! So shut up!" Gan Ning screamed back, spitting food crumbs all over Ling Tong's face. (I'm guessing on purpose.)

"Guys, shut up!" I yelled. "We're never gonna get ANYWHERE if we keep screaming at each other!! Gan Ning, just lead the way!"

"My pleasure," Gan Ning replied, smirking at Ling Tong, who was turning various shades of red in his rage. "It's a long way, but just follow me and we'll be there in no time!"

"How long is no time?" Xiao asked.

"Uh... mid-day tomorrow?" Gan Ning offered.

I groaned. It was going to be a long day.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"Ugh... it's too hot," Xiao whined, fanning herself with her, uh, fan. We had been riding for what seemed like hours through unfamiliar territory, and we had had enough!

"Shut up, it's too hot to listen to you complain," Tong groaned, collapsing onto his horse (which looked pretty unhappy for a horse).

Gan Ning wiped the sweat off his forehead. "Hey, this is great weather! You two domesticated wimps don't spend enough time outside!" he said happily. Obviously he was enjoying every minute of this.

"You're gonna let him get away with that?" I said, looking over at Ling Tong.

"Ugh... I'm too hot to even argue," Ling Tong whined, fanning himself with his hand. (Xiao was using both of her fans and she refused to share.)

"Maybe because you're overdressed," I suggested. "You're wearing long sleeves, armor, and pants."

"Well, I'm NOT gonna be Mr. Half-Naked over there, and since I'm not some silly little girly princess I can't run around in a pair of shorts with half my ass sticking out, and I will NEVER wear whatever the hell Xiao is wearing, so I guess I'm SCREWED!!" Tong said angrily.

"Hey, don't be hatin' cause I'm better lookin' than you," Gan Ning snapped, defending his half-naked self. (Well, with the vest, he's more of a
quarter-naked. You won't see me complaining though.) "Then again, that really isn't saying much, is it?" he said with a laugh.

I was outraged. "My ass isn't sticking out of these shorts!" I said angrily. Okay, to be honest, they DID look better on me when I got them two years ago, but hey, I wasn't fat or anything!!

"Yeah, um, no offense, Shang Xiang, but I would highly recommend giving those shorts back to the young child you stole 'em from," Ling Tong said, confirming my suspicions.

"Lay off, pretty-boy! They look fine on her!!" Gan Ning defended.

Knowing Gan Ning, that was probably a twisted, perverted little comment. "I guess that's a compliment," I said.

"HEY!!" Xiao screamed, temporarily interrupting all arguements for the time being. "What the heck is THAT!?"

Gan Ning glanced up and whistled. "DAMN! That's a big... actually, I don't know what that is."

We were looking at a large, stone structure, hollowed out at the top. "Maybe it's some ugly looking tribal art," I said.

"Maybe it's a statue of Gan Ning's brain," Ling Tong said, rolling his eyes.

"Yeah, and it's probably actual size," Gan Ning retorted. "After all, YOU sure didn't know how to get us to Nan Zhong, now did you?"

"GUYS! SHUT UP!" I screamed. "Let's just forget about the ugly art and keep going!!"

"Ummm... Shang Xiang? I see like a hundred guys with crossbows, and they're everywhere," Xiao said, sounding scared.

"Oh no, she's hallucinating. We'd better head back," Tong said, turning his horse around.

"GET BACK HERE, you! Xiao, where the hell do you see archers?" I asked, grabbing Tong by his arm.

"Ummm... right there, there, there, and EEEEP! RIGHT THERE!!" Xiao yelped, clinging onto Ling Tong's other arm.

"AAAAAAAHH!! I SEE THEM TOO!!" Tong screamed. "They're camoflauged with the enviroment!! LOOK!!"

"Everybody RUN!!" Gan Ning yelled, and we all kicked our horses to make them run. "Why won't these stupid animals MOVE!?" I yelled angrily.

We all looked down, and, as fate would have it, the horses' hooves were stuck in the gooey tar on the ground. "Hey, cheer up, guys! These aren't OUR horses!" Gan Ning said.

"We're screwed!" Tong wailed.

"EEHAA! LUUPA LUUPA LAA!!" one of the Nanmans screamed, pointing at us.

"What'd he say!?" Xiao cried.

"I don't know, but I know it doesn't sound nice!! RUN!!" I screamed. We all grabbed our weapons, jumped off our horses, making sure to land in the white sand, NOT the goo, and ran as fast as we could, screaming the entire time.

"Stop! Stop!" Xiao begged, while we were running.

"You think we lost 'em?" Ning yelled, who was faster than all of us by a long shot.

"I don't know! I just can't run no more!" Xiao wailed, collapsing on the ground.

"Yeah, we lost 'em," Tong yelled, looking back. "Can we stop and take a break?"

"Yeah, OK," I agreed. "I can't run anymore either!" We stopped running and collapsed on the ground.

"MAN it's hot out here!" Tong complained. "It's too hot! I hate this place! I wanna go home! I'm all sweaty! I hate my life! I wish I was dead! I'm hungry! I'm thirsty! I need to drop a--OW!" he yelled, when Gan Ning smacked him upside the head.

"WILL YOU SHUT UP?! We're all hot! Deal with it!" Gan Ning said angrily.

Xiao and I muffled our giggles. In all honesty, I was about to do the same thing.

"I'm way hotter than any of you!" Tong said angrily, rubbing his face. "I've got long sleeves and armor on!"

Gan Ning pulled his sword off his belt and grabbed one of Tong's sleeves. "Hold still, you pansy," he said, proceeding to slice off one of his sleeves.

"Hey! What are you doing!?" Tong yelled angrily.

"Making you shut up!" Ning replied, slicing the other sleeve off. "There! That should keep you quiet for at least 2 minutes!"

Xiao snickered. "Geez, Tongie, you have the whitest arms I've ever seen in my life!"

Tong growled under his breath angrily. "This is my favorite shirt!" he complained.

"It WAS!" Gan Ning said cheerfully. "They all look the same anyway. Shut up and grow up!"

"EEEP!! MONSTER!!" Xiao screamed, interrupting the quiet tranquility. (Yeah right.)

"Huh? Xiao, are you hallucinating again?" Tong demanded.

"No, look!" Xiao cried, pointing. "Hey! Wait a minute! I was never--"

"RUN!!" I screamed, interrupting Xiao. A gigantic beast was charging right for us!!

"That's an elephant, you morons!" Gan Ning yelled. "They live here! They're everywhere!"

"Do they attack?" I asked.

"YES!! RUN!!" Gan Ning screamed. "They're territorial!"

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!" we all screamed, as we ran (again!).

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"Well, this is just GREAT," Ling Tong complained. "How the hell are we gonna get anywhere without HORSES!?"

"Easy!" Xiao replied. "Um, walking."

"Give me a break, Xiao," I said, gasping for air. "We can barely even move in this heat!"

Meanwhile, Gan Ning was still bursting with energy, as usual. "Come on, you turtles! I'm waiting!"

"Shut up... I... can't breathe..." Ling Tong complained, rolling on his back. "I wanna go home!"

"Not this again," Gan Ning said angrily. "Look, moron, we're out here in the middle of nowhere and NOBODY CARES ABOUT YOUR STUPID LITTLE PROBLEMS! So quit ACTING LIKE A BABY and buck up!"

"Easy for you to say, FATHER KILLER!" Tong screamed.

"Wimp!"

"Father killer!"

"Wimp!"

"Father killer!"

"W--"

"SHUT UP, SHUT UP, SHUT UP!" I finally exploded. "BOTH OF YOU! DO US ALL A FAVOR AND SHUT YOUR BIG MOUTHS! TONG, WE'RE ALL HOT AND WE'RE ALL TIRED! DEAL WITH IT!"

"Hey, no fair! How come you don't yell at HIM!?" Tong said angrily.

"I SWEAR TO GOD I'M GONNA KILL YOU!!" I screamed, lunging at him. Xiao grabbed me so all I could do was squirm, but Ling Tong got the point.

"Fine. Take his side!" Ling Tong complained, stomping off.

"WIMP!" Gan Ning screamed, for good riddance. He looked at me, and looked embarrassed. "Uh... sorry," he said, before I could kill him.

"CAN'T YOU TWO STUPID SHIT HEADS EVER STOP FIGHTING!?" I screamed angrily.

"Shang Xiang, calm down or you're gonna have a heart attack!" Xiao pleaded.

I took a deep breath. "Alright. I'm calm. Look, we're obviously gonna be here a while, so I figure we might as well set up camp while we're here. It's already getting dark out, so we should call it a day."

"What about Tongie?" Xiao asked. "I'm worried about him!"

"Yeah, whatever, I'll go look for him," I said, rolling my eyes. "He couldn't have gotten far, he's probably too hungry to move right about now. If I don't come back before dark, send a search party, OK?"

"Wait, then what are we supposed to do here?" Ning asked.

"Don't leave me with him! I'm a little girl!" Xiao whined.

Ning looked at her disgustedly. "Who the hell do you think I am, Dong Zhuo?"

"You can never be too careful!" Xiao defended.

"Xiao, he's more afraid of YOU then you are of him," I said. "Besides, what are YOU worried about? You can dislocate a grown man's arm!"

"I know I can," Ning said proudly.

"Uh, I was talking to Xiao," I said, pointing. "Anyway, I'm gonna go find Tong. See if you guys can get some food. We left it all with the horses, remember?"

"Actually, I ate all of it on the way here," Ning said. "But before you kill me, I think there's a river around here! I'll go catch some fish!"

"Don't leave me here!" Xiao whined, clinging onto Ning's shoulder.

"Aaagh!! Leggo!!" Ning complained.

I rolled my eyes and headed off in the direction Tong went. "Tong? Get out here!" I hollered.

Nothing. Maybe he got eaten by an elephant, I thought. More likely, he was mad, and was probably sitting somewhere steaming like a fresh pork bun.

"Tong? Hello?"

I kept walking and tripped over something. "Ow! Tong that had BETTER be--" I looked at what I tripped over and realized I was staring a giant tiger in the face.

My first thoughts; AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!! My second thoughts: Ooh, pretty! My third, and final thoughts as I ran screaming for my life-- AAAAAAAAHHHHH!!

Well, actually, that one came out loud. "AHHH!! TIGER!! GET IT AWAY FROM ME!!" I screamed, and bumped right smack into a person.

"OW! Watch where you're going, ya-- Oh, hi Shang Xiang? Is that you?" said the person I ran into, most likely Ling Tong.

"AHHH!! TONG!! TIGER!! RIGHT THERE!!" I screamed, panting for breath.

"Huh? Where?" Tong asked, confused.

"Right--"

"REAAAAAAAAOOOWW!" the tiger, who was right behind me, roared. "AHHHHH!!" we both screamed, and we started running (again!)

"Shang Xiang, I'm too young, virgin and handsome to be devoured by a -- AHHHHHH!!" Tong screamed. He was running so fast he didn't realize he just ran off a cliff. Dumbass.

"TONG!" I screamed, leaning over.

"Help!" Tong wailed. "I caught onto this convinently located tree branch! Pull me up!"

"OK, hang on!" I yelled.

"Like I have any other choice!" was my sarcastic reply.

I thought for a second, then leaned over. "Tong! Gimme your hand!" I screamed. "I'll pull you back up!"

"What are you, insane? I'm not letting go!" Tong screamed.

"Fine!" I said. I leaned over and reached for Tong's arm. "It's no good, you're too far away!"

"Shang XIANGGG!! Help me!!" Tong whined.

"I'm trying!" I grunted, reaching over further. "Uh oh." The edge of the cliff crumbled off, and me, now falling, lunged and clung onto the only thing I could- Tong's neck!

(AN: This is my favorite scene in the entire story; if I could get the DW people to make one scene from this entire story, it would be this one. :D)

"AAACCK!" Tong gasped, as I quickly clung onto his shoulders to avoid killing him. "Shang Xiang, you're choking me! Leggo!"

"No!" I whined, wrapping my arms around his shoulders. "I don't wanna fall!"

"Ugh... someone needs to lay off the meat buns for a while!!" Tong complained. "You're hurting my spine alignment!!"

"Don't call me fat! Do you even KNOW where your spine is?" I snapped.

"Let's not fight, OK? We're all we've got," Tong said, sounding scared. "Do yourself a favor and don't look down! I already did and it's terrifying!!"

I had already looked down. "OH MY GOD!" I screamed, clinging onto Tong a little tighter. "If one of us falls, then we're gonna fall like rocks onto the hard ground, which'll break every single one of our bones and we'll be nothing but bloody pulp, left to die in the hot sun!" I wailed.

"Thanks for that unpleasant visual," Tong said, looking sick. "Now I feel sick."

"How can you be sick? Gan Ning ate all the food! You haven't eaten anything!" I complained.

"Yeah I did, I ate a meat bun, and I'm starting to think we're gonna see it again," Tong groaned.

"ACK!! Not up here!" I wailed.

I don't know how much time went by. We were both still hanging in midair.

"It's getting dark," Tong complained.

"Thank you, Captain Obvious."

"Hey, before you say one more nasty thing, I think you should stop to think about all the vile things I could do to you from this angle," Tong said. "My shoulders are killing me! Either fall to your death or find your own branch!"

"No!" I wailed. "You wouldn't let your best friend die, would you?"

"Under normal circumstances, I'd agree, but seeing as we're hanging thousands of feet above ground, I think the situation requires a change over to the "Save Ling Tong, screw everyone else" policy," Tong said, selfish as usual.

"Ya big jerk! I'm gonna kill you!"

"Go ahead! And when I let go and we both fall and die, I'll get to float on a big fluffy cloud in heaven while YOU burn in hell because it'll be YOUR FAULT!"

"I don't wanna go to hell!" I whined. "Anyway, you can't force me to let go, because in order to pull me off, you'd need to use your HANDS! So HA!"

"I can still spit on you!" Tong said.

"And I'll kill you!" I screamed.

"Ew, gross! Your breath stinks! Stop breathing on me!"

More time went by, and still we were hanging around.

"Man, I'm sick of being up here!" Tong whined. "I really need to take a squirt and I can't reach my pants from here!"

"Ew," I complained.

"Hey, can you help pull my pants down? You can reach, can't you?"

"No!" I said. "That's disgusting! Besides, I'm not letting go of you!! I'll fall!"

"Then use that big mouth of yours!"

"I am NOT going to help you get your pants off!"

"Aw come ON, it's not that bad! Just untie my belt and they'll fall down! I'm not asking you to help me aim or anything!"

"WHY do you insist on saying things that I can NEVER un-hear?" I groaned. "Pull your own pants down!"

"Well, I would LOVE to do it myself, but seeing as I'm keeping your fat butt from falling down to the GROUND, I'm kind of tied up! So how about it? Just untie my belt with your teeth or something!"

"No," I answered. "I'm NOT using ANYTHING in my mouth to get your pants off!!"

"Geez, when you put it THAT way it sounds really disgusting. Forget I said anything."

"Cheer up, at least you're building valuable upper-body strength," I said.

"Yeah, but if I die, I'm not gonna need it," Tong complained.

"Can't you pull us up?" I asked. "Wimp."

"NO! You're weighing me down!! Leggo!"

"For the hundredth time, NO! I'll die!"

"Don't think of it as dying. Think of it as making a sacrifice for the greater good," Tong said.

"Greater good? What's THAT, dare I ask?"

"Me!! Now be a martyr and LET GO!!

(AN: Geez, for a guy who's in love with Shang Xiang, Ling Tong sure is an ass. :D)

"NO!! I am NOT going to-- do you smell something?" I asked.

"Um, no," Tong said innocently.

"EGH!! WHY does your leg feel all wet!?" I demanded. Since we were kind of stuck, my body was kind of pressing against Tong's, (yeah, it was very uncomfortable) and I was feeling a wet spot!

"Um... excuse me? I don't know what you're talking about."

"EWWWWWW!!" I screamed.

"Ew yourself! You just spit on me!"

"YOU just pissed in your pants! EWW!"

"Hey, I'm too busy preventing the two of us from falling thousands of feet to the ground to bother controlling my urinary tracts! Besides, YOU could have prevented this by simply pulling my pants down!"

I sighed. "So this is how it ends. Dangling thousands of feet above the air, alone, with nobody to spend my last moments of life with," I complained.

"Hey! What am I, chopped liver?"

"No, you're just a disgusting ass who just peed his pants like a--"

"SHUT UP! That was a reporical question!"

"Rhetorical, genius."

"Hey, I just had an idea! What if we... call for help?"

"That's the dumbest thing I've ever-- actually, and I can't believe I'm saying this, that's NOT a bad idea."

"Ha! I AM a genius! In your face, Shang Xiang!!"

"If you were a genius, you'd have thought of that hours ago!"

"Oh, whatever. Do you ever stop nagging? Okay, ready, on the count of three..."

"HEEEELP!! GET US DOWN FROM HERE!!" I screamed.

"I said on the count of three!"

"HEEELP!!"

"Whatever. AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH!!"

"HEEEEEEEEEEEEELLLP!!"

"WHAT are you two doing up there!?" screamed a voice.

"Uh, just hanging around," Tong hollered. "Hey, wait, who is that!?"

"It's me, you idiot! Gan Ning!" Gan Ning yelled back.

"Gan Ning? Where are you?" I yelled.

"Look down!!"

"No! It's scary!"

"For the love of god, Shang Xiang, look down!"

I looked down, and standing not even 10 feet down was Gan Ning, looking amused and disgusted.

"Woah, you're huge!" I said.

"No he's not, the earth is obviously shrinking," Tong said.

"Do you two realize that you are hanging about 8 feet up above the ground?" Ning asked.

"So?"

"You're not in any danger! Just drop already!" Ning said angrily.

Tong and I exchanged glances. "I'll have you know, it looks A LOT scarier from up here!!" Tong hollered, defending our dignity.

"Jump!" Ning ordered.

"You first, you're younger," Tong said. "I've got more to live for!"

"Fine, if it means I don't have to me stuck up here with you and your moist pants!! But if I die, you stay away from my funeral!"

"Uh... Shang Xiang, if you die, there's something I kinda want to tell you-- HEY!" Tong yelled, when I let go.

Ning held his arms out and I fell right in his arms. "Oof!" I said. "Thanks, Ning! I dunno how long it would have been before I went insane!"

"I'm RIGHT HERE, ya know!" Tong hollered.

"Then jump," I hollered back.

"OK, here I go!" Tong let go and, since Gan Ning obviously wasn't going to catch HIM, fell on the ground like a brick. "OW!" he screamed. "I can't move my arms!"

"Quit whining, I told Dao Qiao, or whatever her name was, to cook the fish I caught," Ning said, still holding me. "So at least we'll have food tonight."

"No we won't! You've never eaten Xiao's food-- what the HELL!?" Tong screamed, after he stood up. His arms were sticking straight up. "I can't put my arms down!!"

"Oh, that's too bad," Ning said, his words dripping with pure sarcasm. "And I'm not even gonna ASK why your pants are all damp."

"Please don't," I said. "It's a long, disgusting story."

"Let's just get back to the main camp, so I can change my pants," Tong whined.

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Woohoo, it's done this chapter is my favorite of all of them, and to think I've got at least a dozen more to upload:D I'm thinking this thing is going to be around 50 chapters... but who cares, more for you guys to read!! Haha.

Anyway, review as always, leave me any feedback you want, and is anyone a good artist? Draw me some fanart, I'd LOVE that:D Seriously, it doesn't have to be good, but if there's a scene you like, or anything, draw it in and show it to me, that'd be great!!