Two chapters, as promised. Becuase I'm cool like that. xD The Nanman campaign is over, but trouble is still around... because if it wasn't, I wouldn't have a story. So yay trouble!! xD

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The next day, I slept in late, feeling I deserved it after that EXHAUSTING Nanman Campaign. I left my room and headed downstairs, looking for a sparring partner. I was bored out of my mind, and wanted something to do.

I bumped into Ce, who, for some reason, was pacing around the Great Hall nervously. "Ce, what's up?" I asked.

Ce turned and grabbed my shoulders. "Shang Xiang, I'm having a baby," he said, looking terrified.

"Duh. Da's been pregnant for months now," I said.

"No, I know that. I just realized, in less than a year, I'm gonna be a daddy! How the hell am I supposed to do that?" Ce whined.

"Easy. Sit on your rump and let Da do all the work," I replied, obviously joking. "How hard can it be? You feed it, you play with it, you, uh... bathe it. Easy."

"How do YOU know?" Ce whined.

"I don't," I replied. "It's moments like this that make me say "Yay not being married!"

"Hah, that's what you say NOW! Being married is great!" Ce said cheerfully.

"You must have a weird definition of the word great," I grumbled.

"Aw, c'mon, it's not bad," Ce assured me. "Besides, even YOU have to get married eventually!"

"I don't HAVE to," I pointed out.

"Sure you do! Quan'll NEVER get a girl, so if you don't have kids, I'll never get to be Uncle Ce!" Ce said.

"But I don't know anyone," I whined. Well OK I did, but c'mon, does Ning look like the kind of guy who wants to get married!?

"That's why you have Ling Tong. He's Plan B," Ce said, laughing. "My god, can you imagine being married to Ling Tong?"

"I'd rather not," I grumbled.

"Or worse, having kids? Yuck!" Ce said, obviously taking great joy in making fun of Tong.

"Stop! You're making me sick!" I wailed.

"Anyway, I need something to get my mind off things, and I don't know where Ling Tong is- normally I make fun of him when I'm down- so I'm up for suggestions. Anything you want to do?"

"Want to spar?" I suggested.

"OK!" Ce agreed. We headed outside into the practice arena, which for some reason was completely empty. We headed to the storage bins, where basically harmless replicas of our weapons were stored. (AN: The weapons are basically the character's 1st weapon; decorative chakrams, paper fans, bamboo tonfas, wood nunchakus, ect.)

"Alright, Shang Xiang, ready?" Ce asked, raising his tonfas.

"You bet I am," I answered. We charged each other at the same time, I swung and Ce blocked my chakrams. "Ha! I taught you that!" he said, laughing.

I jumped back and tried swinging again. Since we were only play fighting, the weapons didn't hurt at all (maybe caused a splinter or a spark) so I playfully whapped my brother on the head with my chakram. He yelped and punched me in the arm with the tonfa.

We continued for about an hour, basically just practicing striking and blocking. The fact that it was very hot and humid outside didn't help keep us in the best of spirits.

"You're not into it today," I complained. "Normally you're way more of a challenge."

"You'd be worried too if you realized in less than a year you were going to be responsible for a human life other than your own," Ce retorted.

"What about Da?"

"I never even thought of it that way," Ce said thoughtfully. "Hey, I've got an idea! Come on, let's go swimming. It's hot out here." He grabbed my arm and dragged me off towards the Jiang Dong river.

"Hey! I'm not dressed for swimming!" I whined, helpless while my brother pulled me onto the large docks. (Gan Ning was lying on his boat deck fast asleep, completely oblivious to Ling Tong dumping something that looked suspiciously like horse poop onto him. Ew.)

"Too bad!" Ce said, scooping me up in his arms and throwing me into the water.

I hit the water hard, and surfaced, cursing my brother. "CE!" I screamed angrily, shaking my damp hair out of my eyes.

"What?" Ce asked, removing his chest armor and his boots. "It's nice in there!" He jumped off the dock and landed right next to me, causing MORE filthy river water to splash me in the face. (Woohoo, Sun Ce's got his shirt off!! It's days like today that make me say "YAY BEING THE AUTHOR!1!11!!!1!!")

"Aaaaah, this feels great," Ce said happily, floating on his back. "At least it's a nice day!"

I groaned. There was no point arguing with my happy-go-lucky older brother.

"Hey Ce?"

"Mmm?"

"What you said earlier, did you mean it?"

"I forgot what I said."

"Y'know, about me having kids someday. You think it'll ever happen?"

"Yeah, why not? Unless you like, die or something," Ce said. "Or, of course, your children are fathered by Ling Tong, because they'll turn out to be slimy parasitic life forms."

"Hey, lay off. He's still my friend," I pointed out. "And last time I checked, he's human!"

"Ehhhh, I guess... Anyways, yeah, you SHOULD have some kids. Y'know, carry on the Sun dynasty," Ce said.

"It doesn't matter. Any baby of mine'll just take my husband's family name, not mine," I said.

"Yeah, so unless me or Quan have some sons, then the Sun dynasty'll die out. We'll have to resort to incest or something," Ce said.

"Ew!" I whined.

"Kidding, I was kidding. Like I'd ever do Quan," Ce said, and laughed.

"Still ew," I complained.

"Whatever. But, Shang Xiang, in order for you to ACTUALLY have kids, you'll need to find yourself a man one of these days. Kids don't fall from trees, y'know," Ce said, snickering.

"Yeah, I know," I said, blushing a little.

"So? Picked out a lucky guy yet?" Ce teased.

Yes, and he's lying 10 feet away being covered in horse excrement. "Umm, no," I lied.

"Suure," Ce laughed. "Is that sunburn, or are you just blushing?"

"Shut up!" I said.

"Aha! I've hit a nerve! Who is he?" Ce asked, grinning.

"Nobody!" I whined. "Ce, give me a rest! I'm only 19!"

"So is Da."

"Yeah, and that's just gross," I said. "She was 16 when you guys got married!"

"So? You can't put an age on love!"

"HEY!! WHAT THE HELL!?"

Before I could answer Ce, we heard a loud scream from Gan Ning's boat. Ce and I scrambled up to see what was going on. Apparently Tong had accidentally woken Ning up, and when he woke up, he was covered in horse excrement, and panicked.

"YOU BASTARD! GET OFF MY SHIP!!" Gan Ning screamed, and for a minute, all we heard was a loud yell of pain, followed by Tong flying off the edge of the ship, landing like a brick into the water.

Tong surfaced, his brown hair all over his face, screaming various profanities at Gan Ning, who stomped off. Miraculously he was able to keep himself afloat.

"I'll give you a 10 for the dive, but a 2 for the landing," Ce said, stiffling a laugh.

"Shut up," Tong grumbled.

"What were you doing anyway?" I asked.

"Getting revenge. I just went for a walk, saw the creep sleeping on his ship, noticed a couple buckets of horse turd near the stables, and figured I'd have some fun," Tong said, shrugging.

Ce snorted. "Mess with the bull, you get the horns."

"Thanks," Tong said sarcastically. "What are you two doing in this sludge river anyway?"

"It's hot out, I thought my dear little sister and I could use a little swim," Ce said. "Speaking of which, something just bit my leg."

"Probably a fish," I said.

"I figured. Most rivers are lousy with fish, so this one's no exception," Ce said, hoisting himself out of the water.

"Where are you going?" I asked.

"I just remembered I've got stuff to do, so I'm outta here. See you guys at lunch." He strapped his armor and boots back on over his bare chest and feet and headed off back to the castle.

I turned back to Tong. "Hey, how come you can swim so good now?"

"I can't. I'm standing in four feet of water," Tong said, pointing to the ground. "That's the good thing about being tall."

"Well, I guess I'll never know," I said. The only people in Wu shorter than me who were ranking generals were Da and Xiao Qiao.

"Oh, did you hear? Apparently we might be going to war with Cao Cao pretty soon," Tong said.

"We are? Why?" I asked.

"I dunno for sure, but whatever it was, Zhou Yu looked really pissed off about it. Said something to do with a prophecy. We might even ally with Shu," Tong continued.

"What? Ally with Shu?" I asked. "What for?"

"Your guess is as good as mine," Tong said. "I only know what I heard Lord Sun Quan tell Zhou Yu this morning at breakfast."

"C'mon! Quan'll tell me, I'm his sister!" I said, getting out of the water. Tong followed me, but not before Gan Ning leaned over the edge and dropped the remainder of the horse excrement over the edge, causing it to sail through the air and land on Tong's hair.

"AAAAGGGGHHH!!" Tong screamed, his face twisting into so many different emotions Zhou Yu and Lu Xun couldn't name them all.

Deciding it was a good time to run, and FAST, I ran off toward the castle. Why WERE we going to battle with WEI? Wei wasn't the enemy. Well, they were NOW.

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I'm thinking of writing a letter to Koei, begging them to make an outfit of Sun Ce with his shirt off. He's got those killer biceps in DW4, let's see what ELSE that armor's hiding!! xD

Oops, that came out way wrong. Hehe. Well, anyways, hope you liked the chapter, check back tomorrow... unless I'm lazy/dead and don't update. (I plan on updating again.)

Unfortunately I'm running out of chapters, so probably after this week I'll be out. So I'll have to start WRITING stuff again... xP

So anyways, review, do whatever you do when you're done reading, and if you're really bored, read my other stuff. xD (Shameless advertisement, I know. xD)