Chapter Five
Harry and Ronnie strolled down the grassy green slopes to Hagrid's Hut, where Care Of Magical Creatures took place.
"Ever notice that Hagrid's Hut seems to move every year?" said Harry thoughtfully. "Or that structures that have never been mentioned before suddenly appear?"
Ronnie shook her head.
"Now you're just being mean. They're directors, Harry! Not intelligent types that read or anything!"
"I don't know what you're talking about," said Harry innocently.
They quietened as they came to approach the area where their classes took place. Hagrid was standing surrounded by their classmates and introducing everyone to a large, green-skinned, vaguely humanoid creature.
"Now," he said proudly as Harry and Ronnie joined the ring. "Yeh all 'ere! Who can tell me what kinda creature our friend 'ere is?"
A distinctly rumpled looking Seamus raised his hand.
"An ogre, Sir?"
Hagrid beamed. The ogre passed wind. Lavender Brown fainted.
"Well done, Seamus! An ogre 'e is!"
Harry looked at the ogre nervously and clutched his wand tightly.
"Aren't ogres very similar to trolls?" he hissed in Ronnie's ear.
"No," she replied thoughtfully, "I believe they're more like onions."
But before their conversation could continue, the relative silence of the Hogwart's Grounds was broken by the arrival of four huge winged horses drawing a powder blue carriage.
"Olympe!" said Hagrid throatily.
The class watched as the Headmistress of the Beauxbatons Academy Of Magic emerged from the carriage, waving a thick stack of parchment.
"We 'ave got the permit, 'Agrid dear!" she cried happily. "We can live our dream of 'aving a winged 'orse ranch in Nice!"
"Crackerjack!" said Hagrid.
"Crackerjack?" muttered Dean Thomas, who was still deciding what colour his skin was. Today he was going for a look similar to that of a certain pop singer.
Hagrid swept Madam Maxime into his arms as she gracefully shrunk his entire cabin, vegetable gardens included, and levitated it into her carriage.
"Shall we go?" she purred joyfully, and with that, the sixth years watched as their Professor flew away with his Parisian lover.
"Well," said Pansy Parkinson, "that was unexpected."
The Gryffindors all jumped slightly.
"What are you doing here?" queried Harry, "You've got Charms."
"Oh," said Pansy, "Ok then."
As she left, the small group stood in silence.
"Why do you know the Slytherin timetable, Harry?" said Ronnie.
"Uh … no reason," replied Harry, looking slightly shifty.
Silence returned to the group.
"Library it is then," said Parvati, and they all trooped up towards the school.
Meanwhile, deep in the Friendly Forest, a strange man sang about a kid that was not his son.
As Harry and the rest of the Gryffindors that had, until recently, been attending Care Of Magical Creatures, trekked through the long hallways of Hogwarts towards the Library, they came across the two exchange students. The two incredibly beautiful girls appeared to be arguing, so, naturally, all of the Gryffindors stopped to listen.
"Come ON, Rachel! Just this once, please!" cried Louise. "I'll get down on my knees and beg if I have to!"
"No," replied Rachel. "There will be no begging happening in this hallway."
Seamus looked excited. 'Perhaps we'll see some gay lover action after all!' he thought.
Louise scowled at the Irishman. "I heard that, Potato Boy," she said irritably.
"OMG!" yelled Seamus "She can READ MINDS!"
"Quick!" said Dean "Everybody stop thinking!"
The faces off all the Gryffindors immediately went blank and slightly slack as they all attempted not to think at all.
Lavender Brown smiled. "This is fun!" she chirped. "I can do this easy!"
Rachel rolled her eyes. "Flake."
Louise glanced at the brain dead Gryffindors and then turned back to Rachel.
"Pleeeeeeeeeeeeeease?" she whined, "If you don't agree I'll follow you around all day singing the Skippy Theme Song."
"Oh God," said Rachel, "Anything but the Skippy Theme Song. Fine, I'll do it."
"SWEET!" yelled Louise. "Now, remember, I was with you all day."
"I'm only doing this for blackmail purposes." said Rachel as she swept off to Arithmancy, her cloak and ebony hair flicking out behind her.
Louise did a small jig where she stood, laughed at the still slack faced Gryffindors and then raced off towards Transfiguration.
The group of Gryffindors continued to stand around, as not thinking had the current disadvantage in the fact that they hadn't yet realised that Louise had left.
Suddenly, Harry blinked.
'I wonder why he did that?' thought Ronnie. She blinked.
"Oh!" she said, "I've started thinking again!"
One by one, the small group returned to sentiency.
"What were we doing again?" said Harry.
"Going to the Library," supplied Seamus helpfully, "I think."
Ronnie nodded. "Let's go then."
They all began to walk away when Parvati gave a small cry.
"Oh no!" she said tearfully, "Lavender hasn't started thinking again!"
"What are we going to do?" wailed Dean, "McGonagall will kill us if she never thinks again!"
But before mass chaos could ensue, Lavender Brown blinked, and then grinned widely.
"I win!" she squealed.
Harry shook his head. "I guess everyone has to be good at something."
And, with that, they finally went to the Library.
Harry and Ronnie gathered random books from the Library shelves as they made their way to a table where they could sit and pretend to study.
"I wonder who Dumbledore will hire to replace Hagrid?" mused Harry.
Ronnie shrugged. "I dunno. I mean, it's not like qualified Care Of Magical Creatures professors just fall from the sky, is it?"
Harry nodded in agreement.
"Come on," he said, "We've got enough books, let's sit."
But, to their surprise, their usual table was already occupied.
"Hermione!" squealed Ronnie.
"Ronnie!" cried Hermione.
Harry rolled his eyes as the two girls made a huge fuss about hugging each other.
"Oh, it's been too long!" grinned Hermione.
"It's been two days," said Harry.
Hermione immediately released Ronnie and rounded on Harry.
"Can't breathe," gasped the Boy Who Lived as his excitable friend hugged him tightly.
"It's so good to see you again, Harry!" chirped Hermione.
"Uh, you too, Hermione," wheezed Harry.
The ringleted girl released him slightly in order to glare at him.
Harry winced. "Uh, I mean … Mum …"
Hermione beamed.
"So, Hermione," said Ronnie "What are you doing in here? I would have thought you and Severus would be up to your necks in wedding plans by now!"
"Oh, we are!" gushed Hermione, "But right now Severus has the fourth years, and so I thought I'd take the chance to research wedding traditions a bit more thoroughly."
She waved a hand towards the huge pile of books that covered almost every inch of the large table.
"Sevvy wants a very traditional wedding," she continued, lowering her voice, "but I'm not so sure."
Ronnie nodded. "Yes, the blood letting does get a bit much, doesn't it?"
"Yes," said Hermione, "And the painting for family records is unnecessarily voyeuristic."
Ronnie looked shocked. "You can't possible abstain from that, Hermione! It's one of the oldest traditions of the Wizarding World, and a central part of marriage!"
"What is it, exactly?" interrupted Harry.
"It's traditional for a portrait to be made of a new couple's first night together," explained Ronnie, "and everybody does it!"
Hermione grimaced.
"I just don't think it's appropriate for children to see their parents," she stopped to glance at Harry, "M-A-K-I-N-G L-O-V-E."
Harry looked offended. "I can spell, you know."
Hermione patted his head. "Of course you can," she said patronizingly.
"Anyway," said Ronnie, "I'm sure you and Severus can discuss it before the big day."
Hermione nodded. "I'm also trying to create a direct translation of the engravings on my engagement ring."
She held out her hand so that Harry and Ronnie could see the strange language that encircled the band she wore.
"It's been in Severus' family for centuries, but he believes it originally came from Middle Earth." said Hermione, "but all I can decipher are the words 'The One Ring'."
As Ronnie and Hermione continued talking about wedding rings and such, Harry's attention was drawn to a small, slimy, goblin-like creature hiding behind the bookcases directly behind Hermione.
"My precccciousssss …" it muttered and then crouched in preparation to jump.
"Watch out!" said Harry, pulling Ronnie and Hermione to the floor as the creature rushed towards them.
They were just in time; the thing missed its target.
Harry stood up and raised his wand. The creature hissed at him and scampered off towards Section J – K.
"Oh, Harry!" said Hermione, her hand over her heart, "You saved me! That horrid little thing just won't leave me alone! Thank Merlin it's gone!"
But she spoke too soon; the creature rushed out, yanked the ring off Hermione's finger, cackled gleefully, and raced out into the hallway.
"No running in the Library!" screeched Madam Pince.
As the creature disappeared from sight, Hermione began to sob.
"My Ring!" she wailed, "We'll have to postpone the wedding!"