Chapter 1: The Husband and Wife
Edward had always known that he was as beautiful as a god, and still had plenty of looks to spare. But it didn't make him vain in the least bit. No sir, Edward was as selfless as they come, giving all his body and soul for the whole world to share. After all, it was only fair.
One day, Edward was walking down the street and saw a couple that looked very unhappy together. It looks like they need my help thought Edward, hurrying over to where they were sitting. As he drew closer, he could here the two arguing about how awful their sex life was. Well, if Edward knew only one thing in life, it's that his body could always help in that department.
"Why, hello there," he shouted walking towards the two. Both of their faces instantly lit up red with embarrassment. To think that such a handsome man overheard such a private conversation! "I couldn't help overhearing that you two are having some problems, and my policy is, 'If you can help, do so.' So here I am, ready to assist you with anything." He took both of their hands in his and whispered, "Anything at all."
The wife instantly covered her face, blushing bright red. The husband, however, said to Edward, "Actually, my wife and I would love to have you over for dinner." In reality, the husband was really wondering why he was so attracted to this Edward fello. Shit, he was straight man who was married, not some gay pansy! However, this fact didn't hurt the mood in the least bit.
"Great!" said Edward, smiling brightly at the couple with enthusiasm. It was so sincere that the husband felt guilty for ever having thought about not liking this man.
Edward then grabbed the wife's right hand and the husband's left hand so they could all walk together. "Come, for tonight, I'm yours for the taking!" Edward laughed and then forced the married couple to skip with him. Pretty soon, the three looked like they were five year olds just having a good time being alive.
"Now, about this dinner thing," Edward said on a park bench to the two, "I think that the pretty lady should make it while I'll teach the guy some things upstairs." He winked at the husband, who began to blush furiously. The wife laughed and nodded her head in agreement. "He could use some points in the bedroom."
As the three walked back (for they were too exhausted to skip) the husband thought about what his wife had said. Sure, she had said tell death do us part, but that was before she found out how lousy he was in the sack. Maybe this Edward guy could help me out he thought hopefully. After all, he couldn't get much worse.
The door to the two story house opened and everyone clambered in. The wife shoed the two men upstairs and giggled, because the wife knew the second that she had seen this Edward fellow, he would be an amazing lover in bed. Of course she still loved her husband, but damn he needed the help more than she did.
"Well, what do we do now?" asked the husband, irritated at his wife's encouragement.
"WELL, the best place to start with is foreplay. After all," grinned Edward, "you need to be aroused to do things arousing." And with that, the teaching began.
After and hour or two the two men came downstairs massaging their crouches. "Damn, you are a really good, uh, teacher," said the husband.
Edward flashed a smile. "Glad you think so too."
The wife (who had notice the banging going on upstairs) said, "My furniture had better all be in one piece." At this, both of the men looked guiltily at each other and then stared at the floor in shame. "Damn, well, I can always get more." She then asked, "What happened?"
"Well, let's just say you'll never complain about your sex life again," said Edward, pulling her head to his chest. He started to sniff her hair, while massaging her leg at the same time, slowly working his way up. Her groans only encouraged him, making him take his other hand up her shirt, caressing the skin as it went along. Edward bent down slowly, kissing the top of her head and working his way down to where her mouth waited anxiously. His dry lips met her wet ones as the two touched and the two slowly enticed each other, all this while Edward's hands were still busy with their work.
"Hey, keep it PG!" interrupted the husband, separating the two from each other.
"I'm sorry Henry, but, she is delicious." Edward licked his lips, smiling a shrewd smile. He went past Henry and took the wife's face in his hand, directing it towards himself. "It even makes me wish I was a selfish creature, so I could have you more often, my dear. But alas," He said throwing his arms dramatically, "My body, heart, and soul is to be shared with the world equally. After all, everyone should have someone like me once in their lifetime! Don't you agree?" He asked the two, who were now holding each other's hands. The two nodded, because both knew that because of this man, their lives could never be the same.