Chapter Eleven
The next day Harry awoke quite late. He rubbed his eyes and dressed quickly. Ronnie was waiting for him in the Common Room, playing Chess against herself.
"About time!" she exclaimed when she saw him. "I'm starving, and breakfast is almost over!"
Harry grinned.
"Sorry, Ronnie, let's go. It's probably better this way though – everything will have calmed down and we'll have a nice, quiet day."
But little did Harry know how very wrong he was …
Harry had just sat down when two owls swooped down to deliver his mail. He feed them some cold bacon and then settled down to read his letters. The first was slightly bulkier than expected and so Harry opened it cautiously. A gift voucher for Quality Quidditch Supplies fell out, along with a note.
"Please be my friend," read Harry aloud.
Ronnie looked up from her toast to peer over Harry's shoulder.
"Whoa – a voucher for twenty galleons?! I'd be friends with almost anyone for that!"
"Almost anyone?" queried Harry.
Ronnie nodded. "I wouldn't, for example, be friends with a Dementor, even if they did send me a gift voucher."
Harry laughed and opened his other letter, which was just a short note from Sirius inviting Harry and Ronnie down for morning tea. He was about to show it to the other teenager, when Blaise Zabini appeared at their table.
"Hi, Ronnie!" he grinned.
"Hi, Blaise," said Ronnie, unenthusiastically.
"So … want to go to Hogsmead with me next weekend?" he asked hopefully.
"I'm sorry Blaise," Ronnie sighed, "but we've been through this – I don't want to go out with you."
"Is it because I'm black?" asked Zabini. "Because I can change!"
And, to prove it, Blaise squeezed his eyes shut and with a quiet ping! he had become a fair skinned Italian.
"Is that better?" he asked anxiously.
Ronnie shook her head.
"Look, Blaise, I'm really not -"
"Wait!" said Blaise. "Is this better?"
He closed his eyes again and – ping! – became a pretty girl with long blonde hair.
"It's not that I don't -"
"Please Ronnie!" wailed Blaise. "Tell me what I can do to make you fancy me!"
Ronnie shook her head.
"I'm just not into you, Blaise. I'm sorry."
Blaise pinged back into his original form.
"But I can change …" he moaned miserably.
"I know you can, dear," said Ronnie, patting him on the back comfortingly.
"But right now I haven't the time for a relationship, and I really do need to take a good hard look at my sexuality, and I'm getting worried about how whorish Ginny has been since breaking with Dean …"
She shuddered as she remembered what she had taken to calling 'The Crabbe And Goyle Incident'.
Suddenly, Harry had an idea.
"I've suddenly had an idea!" he said excitedly. "Blaise should go out with Ginny!"
Ronnie looked at him as if he was mental.
"Are you mental?" she asked bluntly.
"No, really, it would work!" said Harry. "Ginny looks just like you, Ronnie, so Blaise will get what he wants, and because Ginny is such a whore only dating a Metamorphmagus like Blaise could keep her happy!"
Blaise looked as though he was considering the idea.
"She's really quite nice once you get to know her," said Ronnie.
Blaise nodded.
"Ok," he said, "but I'll always love you, Ronnie."
"Of course you will," said Ronnie, "now, off you go! You've got a whore to find!"
Blaise nodded happily.
"Bye, Ronnie!" he said, and took off in a sprint.
Ronnie sighed and slumped back into her chair.
"Thank Merlin that's over," she said.
Harry nodded and showed her the letter from Sirius.
"Up for a visit to the Pups?" he said.
"Always!" said Ronnie. "They're such little angels! Just let me finish my toast."
"I hate toast," said Harry. "I think they should just give us pudding –"
But before Harry could finish his sentence, there came a loud rumbling from the Entrance Hall.
A first year Hufflepuff came running into the Hall.
"Run for your lives!" he yelled. "The Pudding is coming!"
"Say what?" said Harry, when suddenly approximately two tonnes of chocolate pudding avalanched into the Great Hall.
Harry screamed like a six year old girl and attempted to climb onto the table, before his bench was swept away.
Gryffindor table rocked and bucked on the sea of swirling pudding. Harry watched as Ravenclaw table was swept out the door.
"What are we going to do?" yelled Ronnie over the noise of the pudding and the groans of sea-sick students.
Harry raised his wand and shouted a shrinking spell, but to no avail.
"We're all going to die," he said calmly.
But before he could commence writing his will, the pudding ceased gushing in, and the waves quickly settled.
Louise Frost walked into the Great Hall.
"Is it suspicious that she's wearing galoshes?" thought Ronnie. "Or is it just the maniacal laughter that's putting me off?"
"So," said Sirius as he offered his guests blueberry muffins, "I hear you had an interesting morning?"
"You could say that," grumbled Harry, "but I'd just like to mention that it took three washes to get all that pudding out of my hair."
"He fell over," whispered Ronnie loudly.
Sirius chuckled.
Suddenly they heard the pitter-patter of six sets of tiny feet coming down the hallway towards them.
"Release the Hounds!" cried Remus mischievously as he opened the door and the Pups came bounding in.
"Papa-doggy!" squealed Dorado as she attached herself to Sirius' neck.
"Hey, pup-kids," said Sirius, grinning at his offspring.
Remus grinned as he sat down next to Harry.
"They were chasing Mrs Norris," he confided, "and they nearly got her too."
Harry laughed.
"Good on them!"
"I keep meaning to ask you, Remus," said Ronnie, "where did you come up with their names?"
Remus blinked and looked innocent.
"You don't know?" he said. "I thought they were quite common myself."
Sirius grinned.
"Me too," he thought, "in fact, I'd say they're almost too common!"
Ronnie rolled her eyes.
"Oh, yes," she said, "because lots of people name their kids Eridanus .."
"Eweedanus!" squealed the girl in question.
Remus lifted Fornax into his lap to stop the small boy from chewing on the table leg.
"Up, dada-wolf!" pouted Caelum, raising his arms to Remus, who smiled and complied.
Harry smiled at Ophiuchus who was sitting underneath the coffee table hissing at his sister.
"Lynx can not speak," he hissed softly.
Ophiuchus looked at Harry with light green eyes and nodded slowly.
"I'm never going to get used to that," said Sirius, shaking his head, "kid's bound for Slytherin."
"I'm not in Slytherin," protested Harry.
Remus winked.
"Yeah, but you should see this one at bath time. He's definitely cunning."
"Speaking of bath time," said Sirius, "you two still up for pup-sitting tonight?"
Ronnie nodded enthusiastically.
"For sure!" she exclaimed.
Harry and Ronnie trudged down towards Sirius and Remus' house, slightly sore and very tired from their intensive dance practise.
Ronnie yawned widely.
"Why we needed to train to day, I don't know," she said, "but hopefully tonight will be a quiet one."
Harry nodded in agreement as he rubbed his eyes.
"Come in!" said Sirius, flinging open the door.
Harry and Ronnie followed him into the living room as the excitable Animagus sprouted instructions.
"They've all just had their baths, and they've had dinner, so you just have to put them to bed, and read Lynx her story, and make sure Fornax goes to the toilet, and give Ophi his toy snake from the top shelf, and look under the bed for penguins for Caelum, and -"
"Sirius!" broke in Remus. "I'm sure Harry and Ronnie are quite capable of reading one of the twenty-seven lists of instructions you have littered about the house."
Sirius looked slightly abashed.
"Right, ok," said Sirius, "we'll go then."
Remus smiled encouraging at the two teenagers.
"You'll be fine," he said, "we'll be back around twelve."
"'Night, kids," whispered Harry as he and Ronnie softly closed the door to the Pup's bedroom.
"Great Merlin!" groaned Ronnie as she collapsed heavily on the couch. "I don't think I've ever sung so much in one evening!"
Harry rubbed the bridge of his nose.
"I have got to be the only parseltounge in existence to ever hiss Mary Had A Little Dragon to the son of a were-wolf and a dog-man."
"I reckon you've got pretty good odds there," agreed Ronnie.
Harry yawned.
"Well, they're in bed now, so all we have to do is sit here and not fall asleep."
Harry awoke with a start. "Where am I?" he thought, beginning to panic slightly when he realised that he couldn't actually see.
He began to paw frantically at the obstacle over his eyes.
"Ow!" said Ronnie, quickly moving her hair out of Harry's reach.
Harry blinked.
"Did you just hear something?" he asked.
"No," said Ronnie irritably, "all I noticed was the immense pain resulting from you pulling on my hair."
Harry ignored her, and began to listen carefully for anything which might indicate trouble.
"Funny," he said, "I could have sworn I heard something that sounded just like six small pup-kids climbing out their bedroom window to change into dogs and run about outside."
Ronnie rolled her eyes.
"Like that would ever happen," she said, "they're probably fast asleep."
Harry nodded as he made his way to the door leading to the Pup's bedroom.
"Yes, it is highly improbable. I might just go check on them to confirm my wrongness."
He pushed open the door and peered inside.
"Oh, no," he groaned, "Ronnie, they're gone!"
"What!?" cried the red-head as she rushed over to see the empty room for herself.
"We've got to find them," said Harry, glancing at the clock.
Ronnie nodded.
"Yes," she said, "and then we need to contact Wizarding World Records to tell them that you were finally right about something."
"I solemnly swear I'm up to no good," intoned Harry as he tapped his wand to the recently summoned Marauder's Map, and quickly began scouring the parchment for any of the pup-kids.
"No sign," he sighed after a few minutes study, "they're not on Hogwarts Grounds."
Ronnie looked up from where she had been examining her wand.
"Point Me isn't helping at all," she said.
"Right," said Harry, "it's time to do this the Muggle way."
"What?" said Ronnie. "You want to do it the Muggle way? And just where are we going to find a helicopter and a TV crew at this time of the night?"
Harry hung his head.
"Oh alright, we'll just go walk around Hogsmead then."
"I'm not going in there! You can't make me!"
Harry rolled his eyes.
"Come on, Ronnie, it's the only place we haven't checked. Plus, it's called 'The Friendly Forest' – they wouldn't have named it that if there was anything in there that could hurt us!"
Ronnie stared at him.
"You have some serious memory problems, Harry. And I'm still not going in there."
"Alright," said Harry, "you stay here then, I'm going in."
Ronnie did a strange little jig as she watched her friend walk into the forest. Then she groaned and ran in after him.
"I knew you'd come around," grinned Harry.
"If I walk out of here dead, Harry Potter, I swear I will kill you," replied Ronnie.
"Here puppy-kids, puppy-kids, puppy-kids!" called Harry loudly.
Behind him, the bushes began to rustle. Harry grinned widely at the very nervous Ronnie standing beside him.
Suddenly Ronnie paled and began to stammer incoherently. Harry felt the grin slide off his face as he turned to face one of Aragog's larger offspring.
"Oh, shit," he muttered.
Ronnie squeaked in agreement.
The Acromantula began to stalk towards them.
"So," said Sirius, "how'd you go? Any problems?"
Harry and Ronnie exchanged glances.
"Nope!" Ronnie finally answered. "Smooth sailing all 'round!"
As the two friends got ready for bed, Harry could feel Ronnie glaring at his back. He turned to face his best friend, and wilted a little at the look on her face.
"I am never, ever going into that forest ever again, even if you do run in before me. Because it's not every day that the giant spider that wants to eat you, trips and knocks itself unconscious. And it's probably even more rarely that hero-worshipping centaurs help you find six small children who have the ability to transform into wolves that you were meant to be watching. And it's pretty damn near never that a travelling herd of thestrals agree to fly said children back home so that their parents wouldn't know that their children had spent the evening running through the forest!"
Harry ducked his head.
"Yes, Ronnie."