Chapter Eight

The cemetery was so close that many people chose to follow the coffin to the graveside. The sun was losing its battle with the clouds, and the wind turned cold and strong enough that Alex was glad she'd chosen her black suit rather than a dress or skirt. Frank again jumped to the front and claimed the seat closest to the head of the coffin. Bobby was again motionless, and Alex felt the need to occasionally turn and make certain he still breathed.

And, finally, it was over. Frank grabbed several carnations from the blanket on the casket and threw them into the open grave. Bobby stood, graciously thanked the priest and funeral director, and stared down at the coffin.

"C'mon, Bobby," Frank said. "There's food back at the church. Don't wanta miss a chance for a free meal."

Bobby winced. Alex bit her tongue.

"Go ahead, Frank," Bobby said. Alex heard the effort it took for him to control his voice. "You take the limo…I'll find another way…I want to stay here for a few minutes."

Frank shrugged and looked at Alex. "You coming?"

"I'll stay here," she said quickly. She had no desire of spending any time alone with Frank Goren, and very good reasons to stay with Bobby.

"Ok," Frank said. "But I do need to talk with you later, Bobby."

Bobby's attention was on the casket. "Fine…later…"

Frank strode off towards the limo. Some people approached Bobby with words and gestures of condolences. Alex hovered near the edge of the crowd. James Deakins and Lewis offered her and Bobby rides back to the church.

"I want to wait on him…Give him enough time," Alex said.

"Not a problem," Deakins said, and Lewis nodded. "We'll wait for you."

The crowd faded away. Bobby stood, his left hand covering his mouth, staring at the casket.

The funeral director spoke to Alex as he left. "He can stay as long as he wants," the grey-haired man said. "There's no rush."

"I…I'm sorry his brother has been difficult," Alex said. "Everything was handled so well…I know Mr. Goren is very grateful."

"Thank you," the director said. "As for his brother…no apology needed. It's a difficult time."

Bobby sat heavily and leaned forward in the chair. He wove one of his large hands through his graying curls.

"Hey." Alex sat next to him. "Are you ok?"

His head shot up; he seemed to have forgotten her presence again.

"I…I'm sorry…" He stammered.

"It's ok."

"It's not ok," Bobby said with vehemence. "You're here. You're putting up with me. You're putting up with Frank. You haven't whacked him or me up the side of the head."

"Yea," Alex said gently. "I think I've shown remarkable control." She looked at the riot of flowers surrounding the casket. "It was a lovely service, Bobby."

"Thank you." His words were nearly lost in the increasing wind. "It doesn't seem much, does it?"

She turned to him.

Bobby waved a large hand at the coffin. "Two, three hours, maybe, for a life…It doesn't seem enough for a whole life…"

They sat in silence for several minutes.

"I…I suppose we should go," Bobby said. "It feels like rain…And I should make an appearance at the reception…"

They stood, and Alex walked away to give Bobby a last few moments alone. He stood motionless before the grave and then turned abruptly away. He followed Alex down the hillside, his shoulders hunched as if he was trying to make himself as small as possible.

"I'm sorry," Bobby said as he caught up with Alex. "We'll have to walk back to the church. I gave…well, more like, Frank took the limo."

"It's ok," Alex said, touched that he thought about her at this moment. "A couple of cars are waiting for us."

Bobby looked down the hill and saw Lewis speaking with Angie and James Deakins. "Great," he said wryly. "Lewis is probably spreading tales of my misspent youth."

"How ya doing, Bobby?" Lewis asked with real concern as Alex and Bobby reached the bottom of the hill.

"I…I'm getting by," Bobby answered.

"It was a wonderful service," Angie Deakins said warmly.

"I think," James Deakins said carefully. "Your mother would've been pleased."

Bobby stared up the hill at his mother's grave. "I…There were so many people…I think…That would've made her happy…" He rubbed the back of his neck.

"Detective Alex," Lewis said. "Why don't I take Bobby off your hands and drive him back to the church…He can check out my latest project."

Bobby looked stricken.

"More like you're taking me off of Bobby's hands," she said, trying to reassure Bobby that he wasn't a burden to her. "I can annoy someone else for a while."

"Yea," Bobby said. "We can get away from each other for a bit." Alex's words had soothed him.

"How is he doing, Alex?" James Deakins asked as he pulled out of the cemetery.

"He's…" Alex stared out the window. "He's Bobby…He's hiding behind his defenses…Or at least trying to…"

"His brother." Deakins' grip tightened on the steering wheel. "He seems to be living up to what little I know about him."

"Frank Goren," Alex said firmly. "Is not one of my favorite people right now."

The parish apparently had a long standing custom of serving a large buffet lunch after funerals in its center. Most of the crowd had returned to the church, and Alex found Bobby standing near the front door and quietly greeting people. He was calm and controlled and appeared to be doing more comforting than being comforted. Alex glanced around the room and discovered Frank Goren speaking with great animation with Dr. Shimo. She carefully assessed the situation; Bobby seemed all right for the moment, but if he became aware of his brother's harassment of his mother's doctor, it would only add to the heavy weights already pressing on him.

As she walked closer to Dr. Shimo and Frank, Alex heard the litany of complaints Bobby's brother had. Dr. Shimo saw her, and a look of relief appeared in his eyes.

"She must have left something…" Frank said.

"Frank," Alex said. "Nice of you to take off with the limo." She'd decided on a direct attack. She believed it would prove most effective and it certainly made her feel better.

Surprised, Frank spun to face Alex. "But…you and Bobby…"

"It might have been nice if you'd at least waited, in spite of what we said," Alex said coldly. "But you were too eager to get back here. You must have been disappointed when you found out there wasn't any free liquor to go with the free food."

Alex thought she saw a smile tug at the corners of Dr. Shimo's mouth.

Frank clearly didn't expect such a blunt attack. "Uh…I haven't had a drink…"

All Alex could see was Frank's casual cruelty to Bobby throughout the morning. "What are you trying to get from Dr. Shimo? Bobby told you…There isn't anything…Your mother had nothing…She left nothing…Don't you trust your brother?"

Frank's mouth opened and shut, but no sound came out.

Dr. Shimo took advantage of Frank's confusion. "If you'll excuse me, Ms. Eames, I'd like to speak with Bobby before I have to get back to the hospital." As he brushed by her, the psychiatrist whispered to Alex, "Thank you."

"I…I just want what's coming to me," Frank said feebly. "Bobby swooped in here…"

"You," Alex said forcefully and quietly. "Don't deserve anything. Bobby didn't swoop in anywhere. He was here. He's always been here." She stood in front of Frank so that he was blocked from the rest of the room. "I don't care what your problems are…Bobby does, but that's what he is…What he does…All I see is what you do to him…How you hurt him…what did you do with that coat he gave you? Is that how you got your stake for Atlantic City? You sold the coat your brother gave you off of his back? Do you know that your brother found that coat in the city morgue? That he thought you were dead?"

Frank stared in shock at her. Alex wasn't sure if her words actually reached him or that he was stunned at her challenging him.

"There isn't any hidden money, Frank," Alex declared. "There isn't any lost treasure. Leave your mother's friends and doctors alone. Leave your brother alone."

"Why should I listen to you," Frank asked, his anger growing. "Why…"

"Because," Alex said in a voice all the more threatening for its calmness and quiet. "I'm a police officer…A high ranking NYPD detective from a family of cops…I can make trouble for you in ways that you can't imagine." Alex hated using her job in any way, but she would make an exception for Bobby.

Frank shrank back. "Why…why should you…Why should anyone…"

"We're here for Bobby," Alex said simply. "Your brother…Who fought and beat the odds…Who took on his responsibility…Made something of his life…" She turned away so that Frank couldn't see the tears forming in her eyes. "If you're really going to change, Frank…I'll help you…But if you're going to hurt him, just know you'll have to deal with me…"

As she walked away from Frank, Alex realized she was shaking. "Am I that angry?" she thought. "Or maybe I just need some food…" She looked at Bobby. "He's running on fumes…" She scooped up two cups of coffee and reached Bobby just as he finished speaking with a tall, elegant brunette. "Here," Alex said gently. "You look like you could use this."

Bobby accepted the coffee and took a long drink. "Thank you," he said. He looked around the room. "I…I don't know how to thank everyone…And the people here at the church…They did all this work…I don't know how to…"

Alex sensed he was near the breaking point.

"And…and these…" Bobby pulled out several slips of paper from his pockets. "Numbers…addresses…People wanting to stay in touch…To let them know how I am…"

"I can put those in my purse," Alex said. "And you can sort them out later. No one expects you to contact them right away."

Her words calmed him.

"C'mon," Alex said gently. "Let's get you some food."

He meekly followed her and allowed her to help him fill a plate. He poked listlessly at the food, and Alex couldn't tell if he was too upset or exhausted to eat. She left the table briefly to refill their coffee and ran into Dr. Shimo.

"Again," he said. "Thank you for rescuing me."

"Not a problem," Alex replied. "Gave me an excuse to say several things I've wanted to say all day."

"I can understand that," Shimo said. "Frank Goren isn't an easy person to deal with. Bobby always wants to believe that his brother has changed, even if he doesn't expect it."

"Yea," Alex said. "Bobby expects the worst, and hopes for the best."

"How is Bobby?" Shimo asked.

"I thought psychiatrists could read people," Alex answered. A small flame of fear crossed her mind with the thought that Dr. Shimo might recognize what had happened between her and Bobby the previous night.

The psychiatrist smiled. "We can't do that well with everyone," he said. "And as long as I've known Bobby, he's been very good at hiding his feelings. I think that sometimes Bobby refuses to acknowledge he has any feelings at all."

Alex nodded. "Yea…and that costs him a lot…"

"It's going to be very difficult for him in the next few days…maybe weeks," Shimo said. "I'm glad he has good friends around him."

Alex smiled wanly. "Yea…if only he'll let us help him."

She returned to Bobby, who had made little progress with the food on his plate. The crowd was thinning out, and many spoke to Bobby as they left. Ross quietly told him to take as much time as he needed. In spite of the comforting words many people offered to him, Bobby seemed more and more upset and exhausted.

"It'll be over soon," Alex whispered to him. "We could probably leave now…"

"Hey, Bobby." Frank plopped down in the chair on the other side of Bobby. "Nice lunch, uh? Will we have to pay for it?"

Bobby winced, and Alex fought against the anger rising in her.

"Uh…" Frank looked at Alex. "I need to talk to you, Bobby…Could we talk in private?"

Alex ignored the older Goren brother. "I'll go if you want me to, Bobby."

"Hey," Frank said petulantly. "This is a private conversation…family stuff…"

Bobby roused from his dark study of his plate. "I told you, Frank," he said evenly. "Don't talk to her like that." He turned to Alex. "You…you don't mind staying?" His voice became gentle and grateful when he talked to her.

"Of course not." Alex settled in her chair.

Frank frowned. "Like I said, this is family, Bobby."

"Alex is more family to me than you've ever been," Bobby said, and Alex struggled not to hug him.

"Bobby…That's not fair…You turned me away…"

"Only after I learned that every time you came to me, it was to ask for money." Bobby's voice was low and even, but Alex heard the strain in it. A great deal of long squashed anger bubbled beneath his words. "Only after every time you visited Mom she was in a state of hysteria because you badgered her for money."

"But…I'm your brother, Bobby," Frank whined. "Who took care of you all of those times when Mom was sick?"

Bobby sighed and looked across the hall. "All right, Frank," he conceded. "I'll meet you at the hotel…You can see what our Mom left." He stood. "But I'm not going to argue with you here."

"Great," Frank said eagerly as he rose. "Now you're talking sense." He nearly ran out the door.

Bobby rubbed the back of his neck. He turned to Alex. "I…I'm going to thank the priest and the funeral director," he said softly. "Would…would you mind driving me back to the hotel after that?"

"Of course," Alex said quickly. "Were you planning to drive back to the city tonight?"

"Yea…but…" A tiny crack appeared in his wall. "I'm…I'm so tired…But…I want to get away from here…but…"

"I can drive," Alex said gently. "I can get someone to drive my car back to Major Case…You could get some rest…"

"Or we could talk," Bobby said tentatively. He looked at her with gratitude and amazement. "You're sure about this?"

"Definitely…Besides, I'd be too worried about you if you drove," Alex said.

As Bobby spoke with the priest and funeral director, Alex scanned the dwindling crowd for a likely driver for her car. She caught sight of Megan Wheeler and Mike Logan as they started out the door. "Perfect," Alex thought and rushed to them.

"Wheeler. Logan," she said. "I need a favor."

"Does it involve paperwork?" Logan said. "'Cause I'm not into that. Anything else…like dealing with Goren's jerk of a brother…I'm your guy."

"Don't tempt me, Logan," Alex said. "I just want to know if you or Wheeler could drive my car back to the garage at One Police Plaza. I'm going to drive Bobby home."

"The Mustang?" Wheeler asked, managing to look younger than usual. "Sorry," she said, her freckles disappearing in her blush. "It's just a really beautiful car."

"Yea," Alex said. "If you could just follow Bobby and me back to the hotel…I'd be really grateful. Just don't embarrass me by getting a ticket. And remember I've got that car as a loan from Bobby's friend Lewis."

Wheeler smiled. "I'll be careful…Promise."

"I saw the hotel as we drove in this morning," Logan said. "Wheeler and I will meet you guys there. And don't worry about the car…I'll follow Wheeler and make sure she takes care of the baby."

"Yea," Wheeler said. "If he can keep up with me."

Alex turned back into the hall. Members of the parish were packing away food and dishes and picking up trash. Bobby, his conversations with the pastor and funeral director finished, nodded to the volunteers as he walked across the room.

"It's almost over," Alex said as he reached her.

"Yea," Bobby breathed.

"Wheeler's going to drive my car back."

"Better not let Lewis know about that," Bobby said. "On the other hand, Lewis might like Wheeler…"

"Logan and Wheeler are going to meet us at the hotel. And Logan promised to keep an eye on Wheeler and the car," Alex said as they walked out the door.

A smile tugged at Bobby's mouth. "Not exactly confidence inspiring…Logan as your car's guardian."

He was silent during the short drive to the hotel.

"You're...you're right, Alex," Bobby said as they neared the hotel. "No way I should drive anywhere tonight."

Alex turned into the hotel parking lot. Logan and Wheeler waited by Bobby's car.

"No sign of Frank," Alex commented.

"Oh, he's around," Bobby said wearily. "Lurking somewhere."

"We could just ignore him," Alex said as she steered the car to a spot. "Just take off."

"He'd just follow us," Bobby said as they left the car. "Might as well get it over with."

Bobby waited with Logan as Alex handed off the keys to her car to Wheeler.

"I'll be careful, Alex," Wheeler promised.

"Thanks...this is a big help...Bobby's near the end of his rope."

"I'm happy to do it for both of you. I'd do it even if I didn't get to drive a classic." Wheeler smiled. "And Goren certainly deserves any help he can get today."

Logan and Bobby leaned on Bobby's car as they waited for Alex and Wheeler.

"Your brother was here when we drove up," Logan said softly.

Bobby flinched. "I...I'm sorry you had to deal with him."

"Not a problem, Goren," Logan said calmly. "He shut up pretty quickly when Wheeler and I let him know he couldn't push us around." Logan rubbed at a spot on the car's front window. "And I know a little about family troubles."

Happily behind the wheel of Alex's car, Wheeler beeped the horn.

"God," Bobby said. "Were we ever that young..."

"I don't think so," Logan said wryly. "I get the sense you and I never were very young..."

"Yea," Bobby said.

"Listen, you need anything," Logan said as he started towards his car. "You let me know, ok?"

"There...there is something." Bobby looked across the parking lot to Alex. "If...I may be taking some time off...but I...Could you...could you just keep an eye on Eames?"

Logan turned to him. "Me?" he asked in surprise. "Where did that come from?"

"I...I'm not sure," Bobby said. "But I know I trust you."

Logan raised his hands in surrender. "Ok, Goren...I owe you...If you want me to keep an eye on your partner, I will. But I will not be the one to tell her."

Alex reached Bobby as Logan pulled out of the parking lot to follow Wheeler. "I'm starting to have second thoughts about trusting my car to those two," she said dryly.

"I think they'll be ok," Bobby said, watching Logan drive away.

"Bobby!" Frank Goren appeared from the direction of the diner near the hotel. "Jeez, man...I thought they'd never leave. Where were you?"

Bobby turned to his car, pulled out his keys, and opened the trunk.

"There it is, Frank." Bobby pointed at the box holding his mother's few belongings. "That's what Mom left." He stepped away from the car.

Frank rushed up to the car and eagerly began pulling items from the box. He grew more agitated and disappointed as he emptied the box.

"That's it?" he asked when he reached the bottom. "There's nothing else?"

Bobby stepped up to the car and began returning things to the box. "That's it, Frank," he said flatly. "You can have anything you want...All of it, if you want."

Frank stared at him. "You've got to be kidding me, Bobby...There must be something..."

Bobby shook his head. "I'm sorry, Frank. There isn't anything else...She...she didn't have much when she went to Carmel Ridge...There wasn't anything..."

"You're lying," Frank said angrily.

"I'm not, Frank," Bobby said softly. "I swear to you."

"Damn." Frank began to pace in front of Bobby. "There has...has to be..."

"Frank," Bobby asked tentatively. "Are you in trouble?"

Frank's head shot up. "Uh...this guy...he lent me some money...I told him I was coming into some money..." He stared at Bobby. "I'm owed something, Bobby...You owe me. I'm your brother. I took care of you...and Mom..."

"I don't remember it that way." Alex again heard the long suppressed anger in Bobby's voice. "I remember you going with Dad...I remember you leaving Mom and me...I remember..." Bobby choked slightly. "I remember you showing up and taking stuff from Mom...Scaring her...Badgering her..."

"I...I had to deal with Dad..." Frank said. "You know how he was...How he rode me..."

"And then you...you'd..." Bobby struggled for control. "You'd ride me..."

The brothers stared at each other in silence. Alex felt forgotten and lost. It was terribly quiet; even the wind had stopped.

"You left." Frank's angry voice broke the silence. "You're no better than me."

Bobby jerked as if he'd been struck. "Yea," he said shakily. "But I came back...and I took care of her."

"Took care of her!" Frank sneered. "You wouldn't let them feed her..."

Bobby spoke before Alex could spring forward. "You know nothing about that, Frank," he said coldly. "Mom refused to eat. The doctors and nurses said that putting a feeding tube in wouldn't be a good idea. That it'd be cruel. They said..." Bobby looked quickly at Alex, and her heart missed a beat. "They said they wouldn't do it if it was their mother. Maybe if you'd been there, you'd understand."

"You kept me away...You turned her against me..."

"No." Bobby shook his head. "I never did that. You just never came...unless you wanted or needed money. She always wanted you...More than she wanted me."

Bobby's self control amazed Alex.

Frank continued to seethe. "There must be something...Something...All of the stuff you have...Those suits...This car...That coat...Where'd you get all that money..."

"I've worked for it," Bobby said patiently. "I saved money when I was in the Army."

"Right," Frank sneered. Alex sensed she viewed a scene that had played out between the brothers many times. "Worked for it…You took her money…Money that should be mine."

Bobby raised his hands in exasperation. "You know that's not true, Frank," he said wearily. "I won't argue with you about it." He turned to Alex. "C'mon…let's get out of here."

"And her," Frank said, jerking his head towards Alex. "How much does she cost you?"

Bobby snapped around. It took all of his strength and self control to prevent him from swinging his fist at Frank. "I told you," he said, his voice cold with anger. "Don't talk about her."

As angry as he was, Bobby didn't expect Frank's attack, and his brother's fist caught Bobby with full force. Frank's surprise was even greater than his brother's when Bobby didn't go down. Bobby stumbled, but quickly regained his footing. He faced Frank, and Alex, who had stepped towards the two men, stopped. Bobby's hands formed huge fists, and he moved towards Frank, who shrank back. Alex sensed that Frank wasn't used to Bobby striking back.

"There's nothing to stop me, Frank," Bobby said in the low, menacing voice Alex recognized from the interrogation room. "Our Mom is dead…I'm not powerless…I'm not smaller than you…Your "associates" aren't around…Dad…isn't here to back you up…You hit me first…" A terrified Frank slowly backed away from Bobby. "There's nothing to stop me…" Blood oozed from Bobby's nose, and a bright red mark formed beneath his right eye. "Nothing…" His voice grew lower, and Bobby seemed to speak only to himself. "Except me.

He took a deep breath, pulled out his wallet, yanked out several bills, and tossed them at Frank's feet. "There," Bobby said. "I hope that'll help with the guy who loaned you the money. If you every really change, I'll be there for you, Frank. But I can't save you if you don't want to save yourself. I spent most of my life taking care of Mom. I…I can't spend the rest of it taking care of you…especially if you just want to hurt me…" He shoved his wallet back into his pocket and turned to Alex. "Let's go."

They left Frank scrambling to pick up the money. Bobby slid wordlessly into the passenger seat, and Alex carefully guided his car out of the parking lot.

"You need some ice for your face?" Alex asked tentatively.

Bobby raised a hand to his nose. "I…I'm bleeding," he said in surprise.

Alex glanced at him. Bobby stared at the blood on his fingers; there were red smears on his face.

"He got you good," she said ruefully. "We need to stop and get you cleaned up…"

Bobby pinched his nose and leaned back in his seat. "Oh, God…I've screwed up so badly…The day of my Mom's funeral…I…I get into a fight with my brother…I…my best friend…I…"

Alex pulled into a gas station. "Bobby…you didn't start that fight…Good Lord…You didn't even keep it going…You stopped…That was one of the most remarkable bits of self control…one of the bravest…"

Bobby looked terribly hurt and exhausted. Alex wanted to wrap her arms around him and somehow let him know everything was all right.

"Stay here," she said gently. "I'll get some ice and…"

"No." Bobby roused himself. "I'll go to the bathroom and clean up…"

"All right," Alex said. "But if you're not out in ten minutes, I'm coming after you."

"Yes, ma'am," Bobby said as he opened the car door.

They were on the road again several minutes later. Bobby held a bag of ice to his face and occasionally winced.

"You sure you don't want to go to an emergency room?" Alex asked.

Bobby slowly shook his head. "It's not that bad," he mumbled. "I've had worse."

"And I bet Frank was responsible," Alex said angrily.

Bobby stared out the window. "Some…" he whispered.

He was very quiet through the rest of the drive. Alex hoped he might fall asleep, but he remained stubbornly awake.

"Where are we going?" he asked as Alex turned off the interstate as they neared the city.

"My house," she answered gently. "You…I don't want you to be alone tonight…"

Even if he wanted to resist her, he couldn't. He had nothing left. He said nothing as she drove to her house and followed her meekly.

"C'mere," she said and guided him to the couch.

He fell to his knees before her.

"I'm sorry…I'm so sorry," he murmured over and over as she held him, and she felt hers wasn't the only forgiveness he sought.

End Chapter Eight

I apologize for allowing Frank to hijack this chapter.