Chapter Twenty-Four
"Morning, Harry," yawned Ronnie, as she sat heavily at the Gryffindor table.
"Morning," replied Harry, wrinkling up his nose, "what's that smell?"
"Dung," replied Draco, sitting down on Harry's other side, and stabbing a rasher of bacon.
"Mooncalf dung," elaborated Ronnie.
"REALLY?!" cried Rachel Grey, vaulting over the Ravenclaw table. "You got it?!"
"Yeah," nodded Ronnie, "it's in Draco's trunk."
"Fouling up my trunks," added Draco, pouting at his eggs.
"We found a Deatheater," chimed in Harry, "that was kinda cool."
"Dung …" whispered Rachel blissfully.
"Look!" cried Ernie McMillan suddenly, pointing to the doors of the Great Hall.
Heads whipped as the students turned as one to view the orange haired man who had apparently appeared our of thin air.
Professor Dumbledore rose from his seat.
"And who might you be?" he asked slowly.
"I," said the man, slipping on his sunglasses, "am Horatio Cain."
Over at the Ravenclaw table, eleven year old Gill Grissom narrowed his eyes angrily.
"And we," continued Cain, "are here to solve … a murder …"
The two women standing behind him nodded and gripped their cases.
"OMG!" cried Professor Granger. "Is this about Paris?"
"Yes," said Horatio, "… do you … know … where she is?"
Hermione nodded enthusiastically.
"Sure thang," she said, "Hospital Wing."
"Thankyou," said Horatio softly, as he looked into the distance, "you've been a great help."
"You're a bit late though, aren't you?" asked Professor Black. "She's been dead about four days now."
"I," said Cain, turning his back to the staff table, "had some … trouble … finding a time turner …"
And, with that, he strode from the room, his assistants trailing behind him.
"That," said Harry, "was the strangest thing I've seen for a long time."
Ronnie raised an eyebrow.
"Well," amended Harry, "since last night anyway."
The next couple of days were filled with electronica, high-resolution close-ups, and several very slow interrogations by Lieutenant Cain.
"Do you think they'll find out what really happened?" whispered Ronnie, as everyone took their seats for dinner.
"I guess so," replied Harry, "it's their job."
Horatio Cain strode into the Hall.
"I," he announced, "would like … a corn dog."
"A what?" asked Professor Flitwick, as the other professors exchanged looks.
"A … corn dog," repeated Horatio, "as the best forensic investigator … ever … I ... deserve it …"
"You're not!" shouted Gill Grissom, pounding his fist on the Ravenclaw table.
Horatio turned slowly until he was facing the boy.
"You …" he said slowly, "are just a bug-obsessed nerd …"
The students gasped in horror and excitement.
"Are you gonna take that?" piped up a small Slytherin boy. "Let him have it, Bug Boy!"
Grissom rose from his chair and stomped to the front of the Hall.
"Watch … what you say," drawled Horatio, "you wouldn't want to … offend .. the star of this show …"
"You're not the star!" said Grissom in exasperation. "The EVIDENCE is the star!"
"I," replied Horatio, "believe ... you are … incorrect … Bug Boy …"
Gill made a noise similar to that of an enraged Kneezle.
"Merlin, I hate you!" he cried, and swiftly introduced his knee to Cain's groin.
"OOOOOOO," chorused the assembled students and professors.
"Ahhhggg," groaned Horatio, as he sunk to the floor, clutching at his crown jewels.
Grissom smiled faintly and turned back towards Ravenclaw table.
Horatio narrowed his eyes at the retreating figure and reached for his handgun.
"Grissom!" shrieked a blonde Hufflepuff. "Watch out!"
Gill spun around with lightning speed.
"Bugatakeca!" he shouted and, with a quick flick of his wand, a huge torrent of black insects swarmed towards the orange haired investigator currently kneeling before him.
"Oh my God!" cried Horatio's two assistants as they entered the Great Hall to see their team leader being attacked by various six-legged creatures.
"Help … me …" yelled Horatio.
"Aerosolia!" shouted Hermione, raising from her seat at the Staff table.
The bugs scattered, leaving Lieutenant Cain alone, clutching at his head as though it was his lifeline.
"H, are you ok?" asked the blonde investigator nervously.
Horatio looked up slowly, his eyes filled with horror.
He drew his hands away from his head.
Everybody present gasped; except for Grissom, who looked quite pleased.
"I," said Horatio, "am … bald …"
Louise Frost smothered a snicker.
"Oh, baby," comforted the second woman, "it's alright. We'll get you a lovely little wig."
"Alex," said Horatio, "…. Callie … let's go back to Miami … Hilton be dammed."
"Right," nodded Callie, slipping the thin chain of a time turner around their necks.
And, with a soft zing! The three Americans were gone.
"Thank Merlin that's over," said Draco, sipping his juice.
"Mmm-hmm," nodded Harry.