Chapter Twenty-Six

"Hermione's acting very strangely today, isn't she?" said Ronnie, reaching for another sandwich.

"Well," replied Harry, "she's been acting strangely all year, but I think you're right."

They look up to the Staff Table, where Hermione was currently singing something about banners and star spangles, and nodded.

"Hermione?" ventured Severus nervously.

Hermione paused in her singing to screech furiously, "my name is 'MIONE!" How many times do I have to tell y'all!?"

Severus cowered.

"Oh," huffed his fiancé, "git 'r dun!"

"Pardon?" asked Professor McGonagall.

"Can't y'all even understand plain-speaking English?" replied Hermione angrily.

"Are you sure that was English?" interjected Professor Vector. "Because I'm English, and I have no idea what you just said."

Hermione pursed her lips together very tightly and attempted to frown.

"What's wrong with your facial muscles?" asked Professor Sprout.

"Did you get stung by a Billywig?" asked Remus in concern. "My mother was allergic too, and she was always just freezing …"

"Oh," yelled Hermione, "shut up!"

Remus looked shocked.

"Y'all are so MEAN!" continued Hermione. "I'm going home!"

"Norwick?" asked Sirius in confusion.

"No!" shouted Hermione. "I'm going back to my birth town - Missouri!"

"But you were born in Sussex," said Professor McGonagall.

"MISSOURI!" screamed Hermione, and, with a flick of her hair, she stomped from the Great Hall.

"Well," said Professor Dumbledore, "that was exciting."

Severus Snape burst into tears.

"Do you think we should visit your dad, Harry?" asked Draco as breakfast ended.

"Yeah," said Harry, "he seemed pretty upset last night."

Ronnie nodded.

"He must be really devastated to miss breakfast," she added, missing the exasperated looks swapped between the two boys.

"Did you say you were going to visit Severus?" asked Rachel eagerly, slipping into a seat near the two.

"Yeah," replied Harry, "we've all got a free period this morning, so we're going to go right after breakfast."

"Oh," said Rachel, disappointedly, "I've got Arithmancy."

Suddenly her face brightened.

"I'll have to go see him later, alone!"

Harry blinked at the bright light reflected by Rachel's wide grin.

"Thanks!" she beamed. "Bye!"

"Well," said Draco, rubbing his eyes, "shall we go?"

CRASH!

"That doesn't sound good," muttered Draco.

Ronnie winced as the sound of smashing glass came again from within the Potions classroom.

Harry reached for the door handle.

"Come on," he said, "we can't cheer him up just by standing out here."

Ronnie nodded.

"You first," said Draco.

Harry popped his head around the door.

"Dad?" he called tentatively.

"Harry," said Severus shortly as he threw another beaker at the stone wall.

"Dad," said Harry, "I know you're upset …"

"I'm not upset," snapped Severus, picking up a jar of beetle wings.

"Right …" said Ronnie, sounding supremely unconvinced.

"I'm bloody well INFURIATED!" roared the Potions Master, executing a perfect overarm.

"Infuriated?" queried Draco.

"Enraged, outranged, displeased, piqued, irate, furious, incensed, pissed off!" elaborated Snape, as he stalked around the classroom, looking for anything else breakable.

"Because Hermione left you?" asked Ronnie.

"No!" said Severus, giving up and sitting down.

"Then why?" inquired Harry.

"Because she confounded me, drugged me on Obedience Potion, Elixir of Euphoria, and a Love Draught and then attempted to bind herself to me for life!"

"Oh," said Ronnie slowly, "yeah, I can see how that'd leave you a bit annoyed."

Severus glowered.

"But hey!" said Harry. "At least now you're back to normal!"

"Not quite," drawled Draco, "he would be taking points from Gryffindor if he were completely normal."

Snape nodded.

"Unfortunately, I still have this dratted Fatherly Love™ thing to worry about,"

"Or perhaps you're just getting mellow in your old age," suggested Ronnie.

"FIFTY POINTS FROM GRYFFINDOR!"

"Welcome back everybody!" said Dumbledore warmly. "I trust you all had a relaxing break. I have a few announcements to make; firstly. Instead of having another Dance-Off, we will be having a Talent Show! Anybody can enter and the winner, or winners, will each win 100 points for their House!"

The students began to gossip excitedly amongst themselves.

"Secondly," said Dumbledore, holding up a hand for silence, "I'd like to introduce our new Ancient Runes professor – Miss Joan Igmernoe!"

The students clapped politely.

"I have this strange urge to forget I ever heard of her," muttered Harry.

"Yeah," said Ronnie, "me too."

"And, finally," continued the Headmaster, "there will be a Parent Teacher Night held on the 31st of March to display your special projects to your family!"

Draco quirked up an eyebrow.

"Say what?" yelled Seamus.

"Oh," said Dumbledore cheerfully, "I forgot to mention those? You each must create something to demonstrate your understanding of your subjects!"

Several students groaned.

"You'll be making something for most of your classes," continued Dumbledore, "and your best ones will be displayed at the Parent Teacher Night for all to see!"

A few of the younger students began to whimper softly.

Dumbledore gave a Level Four eye twinkle.

"Have fun with that!"

"Are you going to enter the Talent Show, Harry?"

"Nah," replied The-Boy-Who-Lived, "I don't really have a talent."

"Not one that's fit for general viewing, anyway," drawled Draco.

"What about you, Ronnie?"

Ronnie shook her head.

"No," she said, "I mean, I'm good at chess, but that's not very exciting."

"Zabini's entering," interjected Draco, "he's going to be doing impressions, apparently."

"Well," said Ronnie, "he's got a bit of a natural advantage there, doesn't he?"

"Not entering, chaps?" asked Fred, leaning against Ronnie's head.

"Us neither," continued George, watching Ronnie scowl, "we've been trying to convince Louise to enter, but no joy so far."

"What can she do?" asked Harry.

"Swear in 3527 languages," said George promptly.

"Now if that's not talent, I don't know what is," added Fred.

"Impressive," said Draco.

"Speaking of impressive," continued George, "you've been noticeable less moody lately."

Harry nodded happily.

"Harry's been helping me through it," said Draco.

"Yeah," added Ronnie, "they 'work through it' most every night."

"Hey," said Harry, "at least we always use Silencing Charms."

Draco shuddered.

"Riiiight," said Fred, "we don't want to know."

"See you!" said George.

"Oh, and by the way, Harry –" added Fred.

"-wash your face," finished George.

"Whaa-"

Harry's eyes widened as he felt behind his ears.

"Ew," said Ronnie as three large carrots fell to the floor.

"Cool!" said a group of passing first years. "Harry Potter vegetables! Heroic and nutritious!"

"Great Merlin," said Draco, as potatoes began to drop heavily onto the carpet, "let's go outside or something."

"Hey Remus, hey Sirius,"

"Hey, kiddo," replied Sirius, slapping Harry on the back, "you testing out vegetarianism?"

"Nah," said Harry, pulling a large string of tomatoes out from beneath his collar.

"Fred and George," said Ronnie, by way of explanation.

"Ahhh," said Remus.

"Explains a lot, doesn't it?" said Draco, flopping down on a couch.

"Where are the pup-kids?" asked Harry, adding to the vegetable drawer.

"Hogmeade," said Sirius, "they're doing a day a week at Madam McKrills'."

"Just to make sure they get used to others being in their territory," added Remus, taking a seat opposite the teens.

"How old are they now?" asked Draco.

"They're the equivalent of a human six year old," responded Remus, "but technically, they're only six months old."

"That's still confusing," commented Harry.

"So," said Sirius," any of you guys entering the Talent Show?"

"Nah," said Ronnie, as the two boys shook their heads, "are you?"

"No," said Sirius, "Lynx wants to though."

"What about you, Remus?" asked Harry.

Remus shook his head, "no."

"He should though," grinned Sirius, "did you guys know that my little Remy-babe was once a movie star?"

"Really?!" enthused Ronnie, as Remus blushed and stuttered modestly.

"Go on," encouraged Harry, "what movie?"

"American Werewolf in London,"

"I saw that once," said Draco.

"You did?" said Sirius happily. "Remmie was great in it, wasn't he? He was the werewolf."

"Gosh," said Harry, "really?"

"Wouldn't have picked that one," added Draco.

"I'm tall," said Ronnie inconsequently.