KitsuneFreak: Eh, sorry if the first chapter wasn't so interesting. I was just bent on getting the main points down on paper. I think I'll try to concentrate more on the humor factor now. Remember, no yaoi. Hope you like it!

Here is the starting triangle if you haven't already noticed:
Atobe–x–Bonsai Plant
Tezuka–x–Bonsai Plant

Super-Special-Awesome-Disclaimer: Mada Mada Dane.

(Badger, Badger, Badger, Badger, Mushroom, Mushroom…)

Oshitari gaped at his captain with the look of absolute confusion. He wondered if Atobe was really pointing at the plant or just throwing a really lame joke.

"You're kidding right?" Oshitari asked.

"Ore-sama never kids," Atobe replied putting a hand over his heart and looked oh so dramatic. He turned back to the plant and kneeled down. To poor bysitters in the café it almost appeared as though Atobe was proposing to Tezuka. Almost. If it not were the fact that he was staring at the plant.

"Let Ore-sama introduce himself…" Atobe started.

Pause.

"Oshitari! Hurry up and do the drum roll!" he hissed.

Looking up Oshitari replied, "Huh?" He then hit the café's table, "There ya go."

"Is that the best you can do?"

"Look, you asked me for a drum roll and that's my drum roll. If you don't like it get somebody else to do it."

"Fine. Does anybody else want to do a drum roll?"

Crickets chirping.

"Anybody?" Atobe tried again.

Crickets chirping.

"Okay, anybody besides the crickets."

Silence.

Sighing he said, "Fine, Ore-sama will just have to do this the old fashioned way" and whipped out a rose from nowhere. Facing the plant he said, "Hello, Ore-sama's name is Atobe Keigo."

Tezuka, who had initially looked with only disgust and disdain, had his features configure to that of horror. Quickly he clasped his hands over the plant shielding it from Atobe.

"No! Blossom don't look!" Tezuka exclaimed, "Where are your eyes, oh nevermind! Just don't look, it's too horrible!" Picking up the bonsai plant he ran away from the café leaving a very dejected Atobe. Behind him was Oshitari laughing on the ground like there was no tomorrow.

"Haha- I don't believe," Oshitari managed between his fits of laughter, "that you'd ever be so- ahaha- pathetic as that!" He just managed to get his arms onto the table after much struggling. "I shall never fall in love throughout the entire course of my life!," Oshitari stated mockingly and was about to continue but he choked on his own spit and began to cough.

Inui suddenly came up behind Oshitari (still in the form of the waitress) and offered a small cup. "Here, drink this; it might stop your coughing."

Oshitari was still skeptical about the waitress for 'she' had an evil glint in 'her' glasses, but he reasoned that it was okay to drink whatever 'she' gave him because, I mean who would try to poison him in front of all these witnesses? So he took the juice and had a little staring contest with it…

Meanwhile with Ryoma and Sakuno…

"…But I'm not really a stalker or a fan girl. Honest! That's Tomo-chan's job." Sakuno pleaded.

Ryoma just went on drinking his Ponta walking away, leaving Sakuno in the dust. However, he was feeling a little nicer today and stopped and held up his hand. "Prove it," he said with a smirk.

"Prove…what?" Sakuno asked, clearly not understanding what Ryoma was trying to get at.

"Prove that you're not my fan girl slash stalker."

"Oh…" Sakuno said looking a little dejected.

"So tell me." Ryoma stated.

"Tell you what?"

"Tell me what you're going to do, to prove that you don't only have me on your mind all the time every time."

"Well, I erm, I can…I will…," Sakuno darted her eyes around trying to find something to latch onto (no not literally) and her eyes fell upon Oshitari who was just awkwardly accepting Inui's drink. Snapping her fingers she said, "To prove that I'm not your fan girl slash stalker I will communicate to other people NOT from our school."

"Pfft. Show me. I'll be right here watching." Ryoma leaned on a wall nearby while Sakuno approached Oshitari…who was still having the staring contest with the juice. And we all know that Oshitari will lose sooner or later, 'cause hey, it's Inui's juice.

"Umm, excuse me…" Sakuno tapped his back lightly, "hello, umm, nice to meet…you?"

Oshitari didn't pay too much mind to her and just waved his hand and downed the juice. By that time his cough had diminished considerably, but after he drank the juice a new set of coughs was released. Horrified at Oshitari's sudden coughing, she went over to pat him on the back hoping to 'ease the pain' although just poking him wasn't exactly helping anyone here. Sakuno then got really, REALLY scared 'cause Oshitari wasn't getting any better. On the contrary he was hacking so bad that Yukimura would even get jealous. No wait, nevermind. He was hacking so bad that even Yukimura would pity him.

"Ano, are you alright?" Sakuno asked. She was wracking her brains to find something helpful to do. All she wanted was to prove to Ryoma that she wasn't a stalker, 'Why? WHY?' she asked herself. But her attention from herself was redirected to Oshitari since he stopped coughing suddenly.

Putting her hand on his shoulder so that it seemed as though she were to turn him around, Oshitari's hand shot up to take hers. Sakuno saw him turn around and there were hearts in his eyes.

"Oh, the love of my life!" Oshitari exclaimed, while hugging the breath out of Sakuno. Ryoma, who was still intently watching from his end, had a look of confusion and surprise, complete with a trademark shrug. We shall call this 'confu-surprise' since it will probably be a common facial feature from now on. But ANYWAY, Oshitari was still hugging poor Sakuno like Atobe was paying him for it. That is, until Atobe found the sense to stop him. That was followed by Sakuno's mad dash back home.

"Ugh, look at yourself," Atobe frowned, "so…pitiful… You'd never get a girl like that."

Oshitari then gave an overly dramatic gasp and put a hand over his heart, "Do you not believe in me?"

From Ryoma's perspective, you can probably guess that he was somewhat confused. Seeing that Sakuno was no longer around he proceeded home. Untainted.

"But alas, Ore-sama cannot meddle with your troubles for Ore-sama has troubles of his own…" and then he looked off into the sunset.

Oshitari collected himself from his 'angsting-over-his-newfound-girlfriend-that-just-dumped-him' pose and walked back home with his head hung down.

But what you all should have remembered is that Inui was STILL there. Like in waitress form and boy was he getting good data (Eww, not that kind! Get your mind outta there! … But that does make you wonder…ahem, but anyway-).

"Hmm, it seems that symptoms may vary. Atobe displayed a sudden falling over. I should be on the lookout for more vict- err… tasters…" he brushed a strand of blonde hair out of his eyes and remembered that he didn't have blonde hair. Well, naturally that is. He took a mirror out and studied himself.

"Dang, this wig just doesn't go with my eyes," and then he tossed the wig out and ripped of the waitress outfit superhero style and walked home.

The next day at Seigaku:

"Wait; remind me why we're here again?" Oshitari gesticulated.

"Ore-sama wanted to win back Blossom's heart and don't you want to see that girl again? Oh, what's her name?" Atobe tried to remember.

"GASP! I don't even know her name! Well I'll settle for braid-girl until I get the courage to ask."

On the other side of Seigaku:

"Jeez, why can't nii-san come by himself? If he wants to scout out the regulars he should come. He knows more than I do about tennis…Jeez." Ann continued muttering to herself as she walked by the vending machine. Feeling thirsty, she took out a couple of coins, put it in, pressed a button, and got herself a nice refreshing drink. However, drinks from a vending machine was not good for Ann. Her brother tried so hard many times to get her away from them. He succeeded 20 percent of the time, though. You see, when Ann Tachibana drinks ANYTHING from a vending machine she gets ideas. Fun ideas, cruel ideas, creepy ideas, smart ideas, and etc., you know, ideas in general.

"You know," she said to herself, "that Momo is actually kinda cute now that I think about it. But there was that rumor that the only reason he was cute was because he has this weird makeup thing…" she thought to herself again. Hanging out with Shinji, really had drawbacks sometimes. Picking up his habit of talking to yourself, is one of them. She snapped her fingers as an idea came to her.

"I know! While I scout out the regulars, I'll check out that Momo. Yes, that's what I'll do…" With that she headed off to the tennis courts.

Slightly off the courts of Seigaku:

"I can't believe we still have to work so hard, even in this hot weather, nya!" complained Eiji to Oishi while heading back to the locker room. Practice was just over and Tezuka didn't really cut them any slack. For some odd reason, he was missing during practice too. He just came, ordered 100 laps (which was rare) even though no one deserved the evil punishment, and while they were running he excused himself and didn't come back. These types of things got Eiji suspicious. But he had to get rid of Oishi first, or at least have him agree to help him sleuth.

"Oishi, don't you think it really weird that our captain was missing for the last half of the practice session?"

"Well, he probably has something important to do. So, I wouldn't really bother him," Oishi replied packing his stuff.

"Well, what if that 'something important' is a girlfriend?"

Oishi stopped suddenly.

"Wouldn't it be cool if we figure out who's that special someone?"

"Eiji, I don't think we should-"

"Oh come on," Eiji begged with puppy eyes, "you know that the captain hardly shows us his social life and this is actually our chance at seeing him interact. Like with people. Normal people."

"Uh huh. I get you…" Oishi stated. He paused, "Wait, are you saying we're not normal people?"

"Umm…." Eiji looked around and pointed, "I think Tezuka went that way last."

Unbeknownst to them, a pair of gleaming eyes was watching them from the darkness…

10 Minutes of Searching Later…

"Psst! There he is nya!" Eiji exclaimed, watching the slightly bent over figure of his captain.

"Wonder what he's doing…" Oishi commented trying to look over his shoulder.

"Looks interesting," popped in a new voice.

Both boys turned around to find Inui, forever scribbling in his notebook. They all turned back to Tezuka and pretty much stood there and stared for like five whole minutes. And there was no change in Tezuka. He sat there, like a pillar…that he was… But Eiji's stomach started to growl.

"Ssh! You'll give us away," Oishi hushed.

"Sorry nya, but I skipped lunch today 'cause I had to study for a test and I'm really hungry," Eiji said rubbing the back of his head.

"Here take this," Inui offered holding three cookies with a pinkish tint nicely wrapped in a napkin.

Eiji hesitantly took the cookies and ate them slowly. 'I'm surprised,' he contemplated, "I expected these to taste horrible like his Inui Juice.' Eiji then quickly, but quietly, ate up the remaining cookies.

"Sugar can hide all…" Inui thought seeing Eiji speed up his eating rate. "Now it takes 3 seconds for it all to take place…"

3…

2…

1…

Eiji collapsed facedown in a very noticeable heap on the floor coughing only very slightly. This attracted the attention of Tezuka and he turned around, revealing Blossom the bonsai plant. In all her greenish glory.

"Ohmigosh, Eiji are you alright?" Oishi flinging himself to the ground after Eiji. Turning to Inui he resonated an evil aura that was complete with an evil glare, "YOU…"

Luckily for Inui, Eiji got up slowly, still somewhat dazed. When he felt a little better he said, "Hey Oishi…" but his gaze landed where it probably shouldn't have…

(Badger, Badger, Badger, Badger, Mushroom, Mushroom…)

KitsuneFreak: Phew! All these studies and exams are piling so high. It's almost impossible to update. Plus, I have to do this section by section and the worst part is that you can forget a part which stinks. Thankfully, Ickiakki's always there to remind me what's supposed to come next. Thank you Icki! Please review since they are welcomed and hoped for. Try submitting like an idea or two; maybe I'll use 'em. Oh, and Icki, you don't count.

R&R!