See the disclaimer of the previous chapter. I am using John's journals to develop, not so much plot but background feelings and thoughts and opinions that will hopefully help things make sense along the way :-)

December 4, 1983

Last night I was sitting in Sam and Dean's room, in the dark, and I heard these noises… Mike said it was the wind, and okay, maybe it was, but it sounded almost like whispering, like someone was whispering a name, under their breath, again and again… like something is out there in the dark, watching us… I stayed up all night, just watching them, protecting them. From what, I don't know. Am I protecting them? Am I hurting them? I haven't let them out of my sight since the fire. Dean still hardly talks. I try to make small talk, or ask him if he wants to throw the baseball around. Anything to make him feel like a normal kid again. He never budges from my side – or from his brother. Every morning when I wake up, Dean is inside the crib, arms wrapped around baby Sam. Like he's trying to protect him from whatever is out there in the night.

Sammy cries a lot, wanting his Mom. I don't know how to stop it, and part of me doesn't want to. It breaks my heart to think that soon he won't remember her at all. I can't let her memory die.tever is out there in the night.

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Bad Things Are Always Easier To Ignore

"Daddy, I hear things." She wanted to whisper when he came into the room to check on her and her brothers. But she couldn't say that. After all she had promised herself that she wouldn't make him needlessly worry so she didn't say that.

But she did hear things, things like laughter, and shouts, and screams and a baby crying. Most of it was all in her head, the nightmares she had every night but she always woke up when Sammy was crying. Dean doesn't cry though, Paige is starting to think that he can't anymore, that his tears dried up with the heat of the flames. But that's okay, she's not sure she could cry any way and she didn't want to be the only weird one out. Sammy would be, since he was the only one who cried but that was okay with her. Her littlest brother would do what the older two couldn't.

Paige still couldn't sleep, at least not properly. And it left her irritable. It all left her very irritable. The thing out there. The nightmares. Sammy's crying. Dean not saying anything. Daddy being a ghost. Mike, Katie, Vickie, and Jerry all asking ... ALWAYS asking if she was okay. If her brothers were okay. Did she look okay? She had finally snapped. Sammy had stopped crying, Dean had just gaped at her and her father became alive long enough to make her apologize and send her to her room.

In her room it was harder to pretend and ignore and there was no one to listen to her so she could speak all she want. Something was out there. Something bad, she knew it. She could feel it, sense it like one could sense a tickle that never stopped or the leftover odor of a bad fart. Silent but deadly.

And she had to go after it. She was six but she knew that she had to go after it.

That scared her.

A lot.

She didn't WANT to go after anything. She wanted to stay at home and pretend it was all alright, of course she couldn't DO that because she was a Winchester and they never ran away from anything. They weren't afraid of anything. Which meant she would have to speak. She would have to tell.

Even if that meant that her daddy didn't want her anymore. Even if he felt that she let mommy die. She would have to tell. 'Cause it would help in stopping the bad things.

"Daddy. Daddy, I have something to tell you."

"Paige, what are you doing here? You know you're punished and besides you're supposed to be in bed now."

"But daddy, it's important. I have something to tell you. It's about the bad things. I hear them daddy."

He looked at her now, really looked at her but he might have not been looking at her with how unfocused his eyes became. As if he was still in denial, as if he was going to deny it to her. For what? She knew what she heard and denying never solved anything. "Paige go to bed." He finally said.

"But da-"

"Now." Came the sharp reply.

Paige frowned up at her father, disappointment clear on her features. If she could have put it all in writing she would but she still had problems with her 's' and 'h'. She would have to just and try to tell him tomorrow. 'Cause ignoring the bad things never solved anything.

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Watching his daughter go, John placed his head in his hands a feeling of dread over coming him. These 'bad things' could Dean and Sam hear them too? Were they haunting his children? What WERE they? He needed to know what they were so he could find them and keep them away from his kids.

It would be best if he kept them away from the 'bad things' as long as he could.

What harm did a little ignoring ever do to anyone?