Disclaimer: Naruto isn't mine, which is probably good. Also, my friend owns half this idea, so thank you to her!
Thank you to chibinecco! She reviewed! And, as per my say, her choice of ninja goes first!
6:15 p.m.
Shikamaru studied the paper, laughter plaguing his usually bored eyes.
"Well," repeated TenTen, "Who goes first?"
"Chouji goes first," mumbled Shikamaru, trying in vain to keep the laughter out of his voice.
"What?"
Shikamaru cleared his throat and tried again. "Chouji goes first."
"Okay, what do I have to do? And can we make this fast? Somebody's cooking barbeque and I intend to get me some as soon as I'm finished here." Chouji looked impatiently at the brown-haired chunin.
"Well, I guess you're wrong," was the muffled answer. Shikamaru was having trouble speaking again, the laughter having returned full force.
"What do you mean? Neji said we could leave as long as we didn't get caught. You don't think I could do that? I hate to crash your little 'I-know-everything' world, but I can be as small and as sneaky as I want to when I want to be, so there."
"I know THAT, Chouji, I'm on you team, for heaven's sake. It's just, the dare, THAT'S why you can't leave."
"Care to explain…"
Shikamaru looked down at the paper, cleared his throat, and then began to read aloud.
Chouji is not aloud to eat anything for 15 minutes. Further more, he must be observed by the other participants to ensure that said ninja does not cheat.
"Like I'd do that!" shouted a very annoyed 'said ninja.'
"WE know that, but THEY don't, they being who ever wrought this note. Furthermore, you aren't allowed to complain and you must do EVERYTHING that the note says, or you do not pass." Shikamaru then proceeded to lose it. Mind, anyone would, with the look on Chouji's face, the lack of sleep and nourishment.
The young genius wasn't the only one, either. Naruto and Sakura had collapsed on the floor, laughing hysterically. Ino and Rock Lee were grinning excitedly. TenTen was leaning on a desk, fighting for much-needed oxygen that refused to come. Hinata was leaning on Kiba, who was trying very hard to stay standing, the former was giggling madly, while the later had given into full blown laughter without much of a fight. Akamaru was sleeping on his master's head, oblivious to all. Shino gave off the appearance of vibrating, but perhaps this was only since his coat never cam off. The only person, other than Neji, not laughing was Sasuke, or supposed to be. Apparently everything from the past few days had had its effects on him to, for a slightly larger-then-necessary smile was gracing his usually blank features. (1)
Chouji, however, was NOT laughing. Actually, he seemed rather distraught, to be completely honest.
"No food! For 15 fifteen minutes! That's just…mean!"
"Come on Chouji, the sooner you get this started, the sooner you can go get that bar-be-que you smell." Sakura was now off the floor, the first to recover from the almost random laughing fit that had seized all of them. She honestly couldn't remember the last time she'd laughed that hard.
"But…but…"
"It'll be over soon," whispered Shino, his movement slowing.
"Fine then," mumbled Chouji, a frown crossing his usually peaceful face.
"It's not like you have any choice Chouji, not if you want to pass this exam."
"Neji, do not enjoy my suffering!"
"Okay, the dare starts at 6:20," Naruto cheered as he bounded up onto a desk to watch the clock next to the door.
"Shut up, Naruto, I don't need to hear your dang cheerfulness right now!"
"Don't yell, Chouji, it's not Naruto's fault. If it's anyone's it's mine, I pulled your name."
"Yes, but isn't blaming a form of complaining?" smirked Neji.
"Stop it!" Oh yes, Neji was really starting to enjoy himself…
…
6:20p.m.
"Start!" bellowed three very hyper ninjas. Naruto and TenTen, having grown bored, snuck out and collected as much of a certain, legal substance that can give oneself excess energy. The two the roped poor Hinata into getting the stuff back into the building. Then, with poor Chouji watching, the 12 other ninjas consumed 25-pounds of, you guessed it, SUGAR! Now most of the said 'mature' ninjas were bouncing around the room and doing other stupid things. The rest were playing a weird game the involved singing, dancing, and keeping an ever changing beat. Somebody had to be pumping something into the air. That or they really were that tired.
Chouji glared at his fellow shinobi. In an act of almost kindness, they had removed his bag from him, hiding across the room so he wouldn't be tempted to cheat. However, his seat was directly under the open window, which meant he was smelling everything being cooked and that bar-be-que was starting to smell way too good.
Perhaps if I can keep my thought off of things that have to do with food then I can make it through this. Okay, um, weapons. There is the kunai, a smallish knife-like weapon. Usually this weapon is carried in a pouch on one's leg, which leg being decided by which hand the person fights/writes with. Um, shurikan: small, x-shaped disks. These are usually small for carrying in a pouch, but can be much larger, and strapped to ones back, or collapsible, and carried in a pack on ones back. They tend to look like pinwheels. Wait, no, that's a food! Man, this is gonna be hard…
…
6:30 p.m.
A foot whipped by Chouji's face, barely missing his nose. The chunin leapt back with a yelp of surprise.
"TenTen! What are doing, trying to remove my nose! I like it where it is, thank you very much."
"Sorry, you looked like you were having a bad dream, but you were awake, so I thought I should try to distract you. You know how you shake a person who is asleep, you shake them which distracts there subconscious? Well, I thought spooking you would shock your consciousness."
"What?"
TenTen sighed. "You looked like you were having a bad dream, but you were awake-"
"No, no, I got that; it just didn't make any sense, that's all."
"Yes it does. Maybe the lack of food is dropping your IQ."
"Ugh! Look, you've made you're point, now could you leave me alone, please? I've got," Chouji glanced at the clock, "four more minutes. I think I can last that long, though if you have anything that I could think about that doesn't lead to food that would really help."
"Um, how about you try to remember what everyone's name translates to, nobody's name translates to food-related stuff, right?"
"It's worth a shot."
"Want to say it out loud, so I can correct you if you're wrong?"
"Okay, which name first?"
"Um…" TenTen glanced around the room, her eyes lighting on Sakura.
"What does Sakura's name mean?"
"Um, um, I know this, I do. Um, um, something to do with flowers, right?"
"What kind?"
"Um, fruit related?"
"Yup!"
"Um, um, ah, oh, it's right there. Um, um, I got it! Cheery blossoms!
"Righty-O! Next, um….Iruka-sensei."
"Oh, I got this one, I got his one. Let's see…sensei is master, and Iruka is…..a type of animal?"
"Yup, what kind?"
"Um, lives in water?"
"Right again, now what's the final answer?"
"Um…DOLPHIN!"
"Yes-ser-e-Bob! That's right"
"Wonder what dolphin tastes like…."
"I dunno, but you can go find out, cuz-"
"TIMES UP!" yelled 11 sugar-hyper ninjas (2)!
"Then I'm out of here, I…need…FOOD!" With that, Chouji leapt out of the window and pelted down the street.
"Funny, I didn't really believe him when he said he could be silent, but I can't hear him," muttered Shikamaru.
"Well, you ARE pretty out of it. Anyways, let's see who gets to go next!" cheered Hinata, laughter reappearing in her eyes.
"Okay, since you're so psyched by this thing, YOU pick the name, missy."
"Will, do Neji!" Hinata giggled as she ran up to the hat. Plunging her hand in, she pulled out a piece of paper. "Next victim is…"
….
Chouji leapt nimbly from rooftop to rooftop, eyes seeking out his prey.
Should be heading home, odd creature. Could swear Tenten said they live in water, guess this one disagrees. Bingo, there he is! Upon seeing our poor victim, Chouji jumped onto his back and attempted to bit the creature.
"What the-! Get off, Chouji, I'm not food!"
"You speak?" blinked the confused ninja. "But, animals cannot speak, it is impossible."
"Well, this one can and dearly wishes that you leave it alone. Besides I'm not an animal."
"Animals can experience denial too!"
"For the love of-" But our slightly crazy ninja was off, hoping his barbeque would be fully dead, and most defiantly NOT talk back.
"Ah, that was-"
"Thoroughly amusing. You handled that rather well, Iruka-sensei. I thought for sure you would have lost your temper. You sure are something"
"Shut it, Kakashi-sensei, you are NOT helping. You're actually making this worse, so good job," snapped a very annoyed school-teacher, blushing furiously.
"Well, either way, perhaps I should escort you home? Make sure no more past students jump you?"
"You make it sound like it's such a crime."
"Eating people isn't? Dear me, I had no idea. I must remember that. Anyways, may I walk you home?"
"Knock yourself out, literally."
"Only when you're home."
"Yeah, but not inside my house, okay? Naruto still mocks me because I couldn't kick you out. I really didn't appreciate that, you know."
"I know, but your face was priceless."
"This time I will kick you out, Kakashi-sensei. Or drag you out, if you have the nerve to fall asleep again."
"Oh, then I must fall asleep. I'm sure the night patrolman would love to know what you were doing."
"I said kick you out not take you home!" With that said, Iruka-sensei turned and walked away, the Copy-Ninja following behind, probably plotting, but who knows?
TBC
Notes: (1) Even though I wrote this, I still can't see Sasuke smiling like Naruto.
(2) Yup, even Neji and Sasuke finally ate enough sugar to be considered hyper. Disturbing thought, huh?
A/N: Okay, for all, I DO LIKE CHOUJI! But the idea popped into my head and wouldn't leave, so this is the version you got. Least he is now done and safe, I think. He might be a witness later on, or I might have him sleep. Attacking a talking dolphin must be tiring work.
Also, I think it seemed a bit yaoi at the end. Again, that was the only way it would come out, so please understand and forgive (though I think somebody liked that stuff, not entirely sure…:P)