What If?

a/n: I hope you don't mind but I'm going to change Keith's name to Landon Kyle. I think it'll be cute to have all their (real) names start with an L. I realize that "Rory" doesn't start with an L, but Lorelai does. So see as that's her real name it works! Thanks for the reviews! Luvs!

Friends:

--In the car Lori blared her music. She didn't what was going on. She felt sick. She held back tears, tho she didn't know why she wanted to cry. Was it Jess or Ray?

--Her phone rang. It was Rory.

"Hello," Lori tried to stay strong.

"What happened?" Rory asked concerned.

" I don't know. When Grandma was asking all those questions. I just…" Lori didn't finish her sentence.

"Lori," was all Rory could get out before Lori started speaking again.

"I couldn't stop thinking about him…Them…Mainly him," Lori wasn't making sense.

"Lori, calm down. Who are you talking about?" Rory questioned.

"Jess…Ray…" Lori now let the tears fall, "I kissed Ray. Now, I feel like I'm hurting Jess."

--Rory sat in silence.

"When you get home I need to talk to you," Lori informed her sister.

"Okay. But you should know Grandma's pretty pissed," Rory told her.

"Figures, but I'm almost home. I'll talk to you later."

--They hung up.

--Rory walked back to the living room.

"Is she okay?" Lorelai asked full of concern.

"A little upset about the 'situation'," Rory reported to her mother.

"I thought she was over him," Lorelai thought aloud.

"Obviously not."

"Honestly, Lorelai, you should not let her act this way," Emily said strictly, "she needs some discipline in her life."

"Mother, she is going thru a hard time right now. All she needs is time."

"Mommy, Lori, K?" Landon looked up at his mother.

"Huney, she's gunna be alright."

--Back in the Gilmore-Danes house, Lori fixed herself some hot chocolate then went to her room.

--On her bed she found a red envelope with her name scribbled across it.

--She opened it. There was a card that was intended to wish a simple Merry Christmas. However, the other side got her.

--On the inside of the card Jess had written a note:

'Lor,

I'm really sorry for what I did. I was wrong. Please forgive me. You were my best friend above all else. I miss you.

Jess Mariano'

--Lori felt tears spring to her eyes when she read the very bottom:

'I'm scared'

--This can't be happening! No! Now I'm even more confused. Why is he scared? Lori thought to herself.

--She began to weep until she feel asleep with Jess's card tight in her hand.

--Luke, Lorelai, Rory and Landon arrived at home about 2 hours later.

--Rory, followed by Lorelai, walked up to Lori's room.

"We shouldn't wake her," Lorelai told Rory, "she's had a rough day."

--Lorelai and Rory went back downstairs.

"Well, that was short," Luke was kind of shocked.

"She's asleep."

--Luke nodded.

"Daddy! TV!" Landon demanded.

"Landon, why don't we go outside and make snow angels?" Lorelai offered.

"No! Rudolf!" Landon whined.

"Fine," Lorelai pouted then joined her husband and son on the couch.

--Luke turned the channel that played the Christmas movies.

"RUDOLF!" Landon exclaimed seeing the small, red-nosed reindeer on the television.

"I'm going to go for a walk," Rory informed her parents.

--Rory put her coat on then left.

--Rory pulled out her phone and dialed.

--Jess heard his phone ringing. He was dead asleep. After seeing Lori he came back to his apartment quite distraught and feel asleep. He didn't want to answer the phone…But he did thinking it could be her…

"Hello?" Jess answered groggily from the other end.

"Jess open the diner door. I need to talk to you," Rory demanded.

"What? Who is this?" Jess was completely confused and almost dead asleep.

"It's Rory. Answer the damn door!" Rory yelled.

--Jess hung up and made his way down stairs.

--Rory watched as a bare-chested Jess came towards the door.

--After Jess let her in, he turned to go right back to his apartment.

"Jess, have you been drinking?" Rory asked although she could see the answer. (There were beer bottles everywhere.)

--Jess grunted then threw himself in his bed.

--He didn't want to talk.

"You have to make this better. Make it go away, Jess," Rory pleaded.

"What are you talking about?" Jess was too out of it to think.

"Lori, Jess!" Rory paused, "She's cried herself EVERY NIGHT since the 'real' break up."

"She didn't seem too upset earlier," Jess argued.

"She didn't want you to see her hurting," Rory sat next to Jess on the bed.

"I tried."

"How?"

"I gave her a card telling her I was sorry," Jess paused, "And that I was scared."

"That's what she was holding," Rory thought out loud.

"What!"

"She left our grandparents' house real upset. Then me and Mom went to check on her, she was asleep. She had your card clutched in her hand. She had been crying," Rory explained, "Jess, please talk to her!"

"I want to, but I don't think she does," Jess sighed.

"Yeah, she does," Rory left without another word.

--When she came back she was told that Lori had called for her.

"Tell me what's going on," Lorelai said, "she won't talk to me."

"Okay, promise," Rory swore.

--Rory took off her coat and went up stairs.

--She knocked on Lori's door.

"Lori, it's me!" she called.

"Come in."

"What's up?" Rory asked.

"Here," Lori pushed the card in Rory's direction.

--Rory red the card and was in awe.

"Ya know, he gave me one too. He told me that I was his best friend and that he really needed me right now," Rory paused, but when she saw the look on her sister's face she continued, "Not in a romantic way, but as a friend."

--Lori didn't say a word.

"Lori, just talk to him," Rory advised.

"Why?"

"I went to his apartment while you were sleeping. I told him he needed to make this better. Then he said that he wanted to talk to you, but he was afraid you wouldn't see him."

--Both girls were shocked when Lori's phone rang.

"It's him," Lori was scared.

"Answer it!"

"Hello," Lori's voice shook.

"Can I see you?" Jess skipped any small talk.

"Um. I guess," Lori didn't know what to think.

"Meet me at the bridge in 10 minutes," Jess offered.

"K."

--Lori hung up.

"I'm meeting him. What do I do? What do I say?" Lori was full of questions.

"Just talk to him," Rory reassuringly patted her shoulder.

--Lori turned to leave, but Rory stopped her.

--Rory cleaned her sister's running mascara.

"Thanks," Lori hugged her twin close.

"Any time," Rory winked.

--They went down stairs.

"Hello Sleeping Beauty," Lorelai smirked.

"Hey," Lori forced a smile.

"Lori!" Landon ran to her, "I wuv you!"

"I love you too, Munchkin!" Lori scooped him in her arms and kissed his forehead.

--Landon snuggled close to his sister.

"I'm going to go for a walk," Lori put Landon down.

"Don't be too long," Luke warned.

"We're havin' leftovers. Yummy!" Lorelai smiled.

"I won't," Lori kissed both her parents on the cheek.

--Lori left.

--Lori came to the bridge and found Jess standing in 'their spot' bundled up. Memories flooded both of their minds.

--Lori walked to him.

"Sorry, I took so long," Lori half smiled.

"It's okay," Jess shivered.

"Why didn't we just meet you at your apartment? It's freezing."

"Cuz this is are is 'our place'," Jess reminded her.

"Hmm."

--This was the first place we kissed, basically our first date. This is where we had most of our good conversations, or we just held each other. Lori remembered. I miss this place. I miss him.

"Lor, I'm scared," Jess blurted out interrupting her memories.

"What?" Lori looked at him confused.

"I don't want to hurt you," Jess came closer.

"Well, what do you think you're doing now?" Lori rebutted.

"I didn't want to further our relationship then make you hurt the rest of you life. You deserve better than that," Jess shoved his hands deeper in his pockets.

"Why do you say that?" Lori asked about to cry.

"Cuz I'm a jerk, a liar, and I run off every time something goes wrong," Jess ranted.

"No. Maybe you do tend to run off, but you're not a jerk or a liar," Lori smile a little.

"I lied about the Rory thing," Jess reminded.

"I forgive you for that. That was more of a little fib," Lori came closer.

"But…" Jess started.

"If you need time to think this over, I understand. But I can't take not talking to you," Lori gave in.

"So, I'm basically getting the 'let's just be friends' speech?" Jess laughed slightly.

"Something like that," Lori grinned, "Jess Mariano, I love you and nothing will EVER change that. But maybe…Maybe this could be good for us."

"Maybe," Jess paused, "But before we're just friends…There's something I need to do."

a/n: I made the bridge Lori and Jess's spot instead of his and Rory's. Sorry, about the name change…I was going to do it before I started this, but forgot…Then I just kept forgetting…SORRY! Well, what do y'all think?

Coming up: What Jess needed to do…Ray finds out about the whole Jess situation….He reacts…

MwAh!