Chapter 4 Hermione and Snape
Disclaimer: JK Rowling has infinitely more patience than I do, so she in fact did wrote the series and owns these characters.
A/N: missradcliffe, I believe the answer which you seek lies in chapter one's author note – glad you're enjoying it though!
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Harry Potter was sitting in the library, waiting for his friend Hermione who was rather late. Such a thing, however, had been happening more and more as of late. As Harry tried to busy himself with one of the more interesting looking Quidditch books, he heard from behind one of the bookshelves a "Pssst. Potter! Over here!" It was just loud enough for Harry to detect it, but not for Madam Pince. He looked over, and to his surprise it was Draco Malfoy that was calling his name. Harry stood and walked over to the pureblood and inquired,
"What is it, Malfoy?" his brows furrowed in quite the annoyed way.
"I need your help," stated Malfoy, and Harry hooted in disbelief. "Now, this is serious Potter, I really do."
"For what?" Harry was beginning to feel ill at ease. Draco sighed, he knew convincing Potter was going to be hard, so he supposed that he better go for the gusto.
"Do you know where your friend Granger is right now? Or for that matter where she's been all week when you two had something planned?"
"What did you do to her?!" Harry managed to whisper in a threatening and angry tone.
"Nothing, Potter, you think after she punched me in the nose I'd try something like that again? No thanks. Anyway… she's with Professor Snape."
Harry did not get what Malfoy was implying, so he replied with, "Yeah, so what?"
"Yeah, so what?" said Malfoy indignantly, earning a stern look from Madam Pince, "She's shacking up with my godfather and you don't care?" Harry's face blanched.
"Oh, that kind of 'with'." Malfoy rolled his eyes. "Well, I thought you meant she was in trouble or something. Anyway, how exactly does this concern me?"
Malfoy sighed and leaned against the bookcase, it was a beautiful day and light was streaming down form the giant cathedral like windows in the library. "It concerns you because I doubt you want your friend dating my godfather, and it concerns me because I don't want that mudblood dating my godfather!" Harry looked ready to interrupt with outrage, but Malfoy silenced him by continuing on, "So, I found out through a friend of mine that they're meeting tonight, in disguise at Madam Puddifoots. You should join me there and together we'll catch them, and tell them that they're both better off without each other, all right?"
"If I do this, you know Hermione will hate me," growled Harry fiercely.
"And you think my godfather's going to love me? Come on Potter, think of the children those two would have!" Draco exclaimed, earning another disapproving glance from Madam Pince, who was fortunately distracted by a first year with a flying book before she could come over and tell the two boys to leave.
Harry's face went slightly green, little Snapegrangers wasn't exactly the prettiest picture one could imagine, "All right, Malfoy, you have yourself a deal."
"Good, Potter, eight o'clock tonight meet me by the school gates. Oh, here comes your friend now, you better get going or she might suspect something." And as Malfoy lurked back into the shadows Harry exited them, approaching Hermione with a slightly forced smile. They took their usual table.
"You're late again," Harry observed, and Hermione smiled at him sheepishly. "Too busy shagging old Ron in the hallway to keep up appearances with old Harry, eh?" he wanted to be absolutely sure that Malfoy was telling the truth, as he did not want another repeat of the Wizard's Duel incident.
Hermione blushed scarlet, but then said coolly, "No, Ronald saw it fit to dump me; that is why he is in the hospital wing." Harry was stunned, for when he had visited Ron he had thought a blast-ended screwt had gone on a rampage.
"Really? When I asked him he didn't say a word to me about it. Just sort of mumbled embarrassed like." Replied Harry.
"Yes, well I got my just desserts – thanks to him I've had a week's detention with Snape."
"Is that what they're calling it these days?" said Harry before he could stop himself.
This time Hermione really blushed scarlet, leaving no doubts in Harry's mind that Malfoy was correct, "Re –really Harry, what's gotten into you?"
"Aw, sorry Herm, I guess I'm still a bit peeved that you keep nearly ditching me." Harry replied, trying to swallow the lump in his throat, which was begging him to vomit all over the library.
Hermione, however, became calmer after he had said this, it was jealousy, that was all, she breathed a sigh of relief. "Oh Harry, I'm really sorry, it's just that I've had to do these detentions with Professor Snape and well – it can't be helped."
"Well, that's all right then. So what are you doing tonight? Want to join me a Seamus in a game of Exploding Snap?"
"As much as I'd love to Harry, I already have plans for tonight… er … me and some of the girls are going to give each other makeovers. I hope that's all right?"
"Yes, yes," there was no doubting it now. "Well have fun being girly, we can play snap another time." Replied Harry feeling sicker by the minute.
"Well, I have to go now, Harry - see you around!" said Hermione brightly, picking up her bags and leaving the library.
Draco Malfoy slowly slinked out from the bookcases and sat down across from Harry. "That was a nice piece of detective works you did there, must've scared the nifflers out of her."
Harry inclined his head towards him, "You didn't really expect me to trust you flat out, did you? But I believe you now anyways."
"Of course you do, Potter. Remember, eight o'clock – tonight." And Malfoy left the library, leaving Harry once more to read his Quidditch books in silence.
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Later that day Harry found himself sneaking down from the castle, and going to partner up with his archrival. When he arrived at the gates Harry was surprised to see Malfoy holding a potions vial and two mugs.
"It's a polyjuice potion," said Malfoy, noticing Harry's questioning gaze.
"But Malfoy, those take at least a month to brew, how come?" and Harry trailed off, "Wait, how long has this been going on?"
"No, no, Potter, don't be stupid, I originally yanked this hair out of Parvati's head for a joke I was going to play, this however takes precedence over any joke." He then poured them equal amounts from the vial and bid Harry to drink up. As soon as they had transformed they heard footsteps approaching and had to hide in a nearby bush.
It turned out to be two people neither of them had ever seen before. This, however, did not mean that they had not met them before, as it soon became quite clear who they really were.
"Severus! Stop stepping on my robes! It is rather bothersome!" said the woman, her straight blonde hair shimmering in the moonlight.
"How many times do I have to tell you … Ginger, we cannot go out in public unless you call me Raoul." Hissed the man, obviously concerned about their identities being found out.
"Well fine then, Raoul stop stepping on my robes!"
"As you wish." And with a huff they departed through the gates, leaving Harry and Draco to wait five minutes before following. However, five minutes was a bit too long in waiting as yet another couple was winding their way towards the gates. This time the two were unmistakable, they were Albus Dumbledore and Minerva McGonagal. It was lucky for the boys that the two seemed to be lost in each other's eyes, and thus they failed to notice the two 'girls' crouched in the bush.
Finally, after ten minutes of waiting, the pair proceeded through the gates and apparated to Madame Puddifoots. They figured this was the quickest way to beat the loving pair, as they were sure Hermione would insist on having a romantic stroll. They went in and situated themselves in the restroom until they were sure Snape and Hermione arrived (as they wanted to get a table that would be close to them). When they came out, about ten minutes later they saw the pair quietly discussing life over in a corner table.
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When Severus and Hermione arrived they situated themselves at a corner table as to not be overly disturbed. About a minute after they got there Severus spotted the Patil girls coming out of the bathroom, which was odd since this was not a Hogsmeade weekend. Had Severus not transfigured himself and his date to make them unknown he would have stood up and scolded them right there on the spot, but as it was he just had to ignore them and enjoy his date. Which wasn't a very hard thing to do. Hermione was a sharp woman, gifted with a lot of brains, a lot of heart, and a taste for maturity. It came as no surprise to him then, when Ronald told her that he was having an affair with Lavender, and that he did not wish to date her anymore she hexed him badly. Severus had seen the entire thing, and having had similar relationship problems in the past (involving one Lily and one James ) he took pity on the girl. He gave her detentions, so as not to vex Mr. Weasley more than he already was, but planned to use them more as therapy sessions. To get Granger to talk about her problems, instead of punishing her for justified rage. After a couple of these sessions Hermione had confessed to him that she wanted a mature man, with intellect and that that was not something that Ronald possessed, however, she said that he did. Snape had been reluctant at first, but soon found himself rather comfortable in her company.
"Raoul, you're doing it again," huffed Hermione, her arms crossed over her chest.
Severus raised his eyebrow, "What am I doing again, dear?"
She smiled and unfolded her napkin, laying it neatly on her lap. "You're daydreaming, I can always tell when you are. You get this cute, sort of lofty look in your eyes." She laughed as his other eyebrow flew up to join his first one.
"Cute, and lofty… my dear Ginger, you are doing an impeccable job of keeping us unrecognizable." Snape muttered in a low tone, "Oh no, Albus and Minerva are here." It was true; Dumbledore and Minerva had just picked a table that was not too far from the Patils'. The two, however, seemed of no threat to Snape and Hermione, as they were both staring lovingly into each other's eyes. The two even failed to miss the Patils who had given each other markedly uneasy looks at the couple's entrance.
"Well, this is turning out to be a lovely evening on the town." Hermione fumed, clearly irritated that things weren't going as well as planned.
"Hmm, well we could go somewhere, ah – quieter. If you would prefer that, that is." Snape's eyes gleamed mysteriously, a seductive smirk making its way across his face.
"What I would prefer," replied Hermione haughtily, not wanting their 'date outside the dungeons' to end, "would be that our waitress gets her but over here soon. I am rather famished." Snape's face dropped a bit, but the challenge of keeping their date secret from the Headmaster was ever pleasant bait, so he stayed and became slightly more amorous.
"Oh yes, I too would love some service. You certainly picked a, ah-" he eyed the badly cast resin cupid sculpture as he spoke, "rather classy place." Hermione's eyes followed Severus's gaze, and when she saw the slightly deformed Cupid she giggled a bit. He smiled, they gazed into one another's eyes, and all was well. Yet all too quick it was over as the waitress had suddenly appeared at the table.
"What would you two like tonight?" she smiled, gazing at the adorable couple in front of her (if she only knew).
Snape gestured towards Hermione, "Ladies first." Hermione smiled, and the waitress positively beamed.
"I think," replied Hermione, the lover's connection still not broken, "that I would like a quiet walk in the moonlight. Sorry to trouble you." The waitress looked slightly crestfallen, but Severus seemed to very much agree with her. The two rose, and Severus wrapped his arm around Hermione, bringing her close. They left through the door with a twinkle of a bell, and a breeze from the outside.
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Meanwhile Harry and Draco had become so engrossed in conversation that they had forgotten to keep an eye on Hermione and Severus; they had started talking about Quidditch, and had unsurprisingly got into an argument.
"No way Potter, I know you and Weasley are friends, but that doesn't mean you have to like his crappy team! The Canon's haven't won in ages!" Draco sneered, as a twinkle of a bell sounded and a slight breeze ruffled his loose tendrils.
"Well, that's because they're cursed!" replied Harry, feeling remarkably Hermione-ish.
"They're cursed," balked Draco, "and you still root for them? What just incase they defy all odds? Potter…. since when did Parvati have a scar?"
"Since the same time she had blonde hair and was sitting five feet away from the Headmaster of Hogwarts school of witchcraft and wizardry. Oh hell, Snape and Hermione have gone as well, what are we going to do?" replied Harry, his sense of foreboding increasing.
"Quick Potter, under the table, now!" and Draco pulled him under as the last of their transformations were complete and Dumbledore turned his head.
After this there followed a short scuffle in which the table rose a few feet (they had gotten the idea that if they walked the table over to the door and escaped that way, Dumbledore wouldn't notice), Dumbledore muttered to Minerva about the pair being on a date, and the whole thing was lost when Potter rose to the bait. After a few words were exchanged both boys high tailed it out the door.
Once they reached the safety of the village Draco sighed, "Great, now where do you think they've gone?" Harry contemplated for a moment and then spotted a witch and a wizard whose backs were turned to them in a nearby alley. He pointed at them and Draco motioned that they should sneak up on them and then threaten them with exposure.
As they crept towards the couple they could indeed see that the two were passionate about one another, the woman was clutching the man's hair with such fervor that Harry feared he might go bald. The man, however seemed to not mind this and so he pulled her closer, backing her thin body up against the brick wall.
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Hermione and Severus exited the shop, thoroughly enthralled by each other's presence. It was on this night that they decided to stop by a remarkably un-crowded ice cream stand, just a couple feet away from Madam Puddifoots. As Hermione licked at her vanilla chocolate twist she scowled, and Severus turned to see what she was looking at.
It was a witch and wizard that had so caught Hermione's attention, they were groping each other in a semi-secluded alleyway just diagonal from them. "How tasteless." Hermione remarked, "How's your teaberry, any good?"
Severus blinked, took his eyes off the rather disgruntling scene, and licked his ice cream. "Yes, actually, it's quite good. Very wintergreen, not mild or weak. Would you like to swap for a second?" The two continued to share and switch their cones for a while, until another disgruntling sight distracted Hermione. "What are they doing now?" Severus asked, not turning around to look.
"No, it's not them – they're still going at it. It's just that – hang on! That's Harry and Malfoy!" Hermione practically squealed this, and Severus whipped around to check for himself.
It was true; the two boys seemed to be sneaking up on the people in the alleyway. "What on Earth?" questioned Snape, narrowing his eyes loathingly at Potter, who moments later shouted,
"Get you hands off of Hermione!"
"Oh shit, we should split," muttered Severus, not even glancing at the real Hermione, who had turned to pay for their delights. The two were gone in a moment, apparating together at the Hogwarts gates.
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"Get your hands off Hermione!" Harry screamed, and the couple jumped. Draco gasped, and Harry backed away in horror. It was not Hermione, or Snape that had turned to greet them. In fact it was no one that they even knew. 'Oh shit,' Harry thought, 'I should say something.' So he put his hands up as to signal that everything was all right and said, "This has just been a test, to see how aware of your surroundings you are." He glanced at Draco for help, who piped in with,
"Oh yes, now that the Dark Lord is back it is crucial that you all…" and here he faltered, but Harry picked up the rest of the sentence with,
"…wear condoms. Thank you very much kind lady and sir. We will leave you in peace now." And the two scooted off, leaving a very stunned pair of village residents.
"It is crucial," drawled Draco, with a very Snape-like sneer on his face, "that you all wear condoms? Potter, you do realize that if they saw your scar there's going to be one hell of a newspaper headline tomorrow?"
Harry blushed, "Shut up, Malfoy. Come on, let's get back to the castle, I doubt we'll find them now that we've gone and shouted about it."
Malfoy snorted as if to say 'you shouted', but didn't actually say anything. The two would have to devise another way of breaking up Snape and Hermione, but for now the unlikely couple was safe. Harry and Draco thus headed back to the castle, exhausted.
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A short walk and a few passwords later Hermione and Snape were situated quite comfortably in his quarters. The two cuddled on the soft, green couch, each claiming a mug of steaming hot chocolate to warm their bones from the ice cream. "Severus?" questioned the adorable witch in his lap, "Do you love me?" Snape's throat tightened a bit at this. It had been a long time since he had loved anyone. But did he love her? She was nearly eighteen due to her time turner exposure, but somehow she seemed so much older. He felt he fit with her. This, he acknowledged, didn't happen very often with him and other people.
He nodded, "Yes, I think… I really do." And he kissed her, tenderly and softly. The two would remain curled around each other as they fell asleep, and each would dream of the other.
A/N: Longest update ever, I think. Hope you enjoyed it; I was in quite the humorous mood by the end! Please Review, and my many thanks to those who already have!
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