Pete The Pet Catcher

Pete stood staring at Maleficent, feeling his life tick by. They had facing each other for five minutes since she had called him Peter and summoned him over to her. Pete thought that he had finally gone too far. Maleficent looked perfectly calm---well, calm except for a muscle which jumped crazily in her cheek---but it was her eyes which were so terrible. They spoke of terrible rage, so terrible that he had to look away after the five minutes. It was at this point that his mistress chose to speak.

"Peter, are you familiar with what this main panel does?" the question was asked in a perfectly reasonable voice.

"Ah…well…I…that is to say…Tine really is a better name…"

Maleficent held out her long fingered hand, its red nails catching the lights from the ceiling. "I did not ask about any of that. I asked whether or not you were familiar with the workings of the main panel." Her voice, just for the barest instant contained a glimpse of the titanic, red rage she was holding at bay. It was like peering through a cracked door into Hell itself. Pete swallowed miserably and looked at her eyes. They were pits of that red rage in there, and he was dying in them.

"I'm sorry!" he said, throwing himself at the hem of his mistress's nutrient fluid stained robes. He was abruptly hauled to his feet and forced to look into her eyes. What Pete saw there was horrible. Maleficent was not merely in a rage, but teetering on the brink of homicidal madness.

"You're sorry?" Maleficent said in a low, freaky whisper. She moved his face closer to hers as if she was going to kiss him. The muscle in her cheek accelerated its twitching. "Do you know what you've done? Do you?" she screeched. She hurled him into a wall. Pete scrambled to his feet in terror. Malignant, flaring green flames were billowing around Maleficent's robes. She looked like a monster. "Thirteen, the most powerful of my work" she said, still in that weird whispery voice. "You turned my child, my weapon against me Peter."

"I'm sorry!" Pete begged again. "Oh, please, please! I'm sooooorrrrrrryyyy!"

"There are worse places than where you were banished to Peter" said Maleficent. "Much, much worse places, inhabited by much worse creatures than Heartless or Nobodies. I can send you there with a flick of my hand. Or course, the magical strain might kill me. I'm not as young as I used to be. But Peter, right now, I'm willing to risk that."

Pete backed up in horror. This wasn't happening. This was impossible. Maleficent had gone mad. Completely and totally nuts. She was such a rational and sane person most of the time, even if she was a bit or a megalomaniac. But this…this was crazy. He had to think of some way to defend himself. He looked around and saw several pieces of glass lying around from the coffin's explosion. He could, theoretically, grab one and injure Maleficent before she could do something to him. His mind automatically recoiled from the idea. No matter how horrible she was, he couldn't hurt her. She had rescued him from going insane in some comic prison. He owed her a debt that could never be repaid. That was why he stuck around with her, why he endured the orders, the harsh criticisms, the servitude. That and the fact that Maleficent was probably going to rule the universe some day, so it was better to know the right people. In fact, if it hadn't been for the brat with the Keyblade, she probably would be ruling the worlds right now. All of these thoughts passed through his head as he saw his mistress coming toward him, madness in her eyes. He closed his eyes and waited for the worst. But the worst didn't come. Cautiously, he opened one eye. Maleficent was standing before him, her arms folded. She still looked pretty angry, but the madness had faded from her eyes.

"Pete" she said. "Come over here." Well, that was a good sign. She wasn't calling him Peter anymore, so that meant she had regained her sanity. Pete shuffled nervously over to where she was.

"Why" Maleficent asked, "would you do such an abominably stupid thing?"

"I…" Pete gulped. Then he explained what had happened, how he had felt sorry for the poor entity inside the tank. And how he had changed the name and erased the preprogrammed purpose in life.

"It's a good thing that you're too stupid to understand exactly what a perfect synthesis of magic and technology this is" said Maleficent. "You merely damaged the surface data that I was implanting. The core data program---the destruction of all light---is still as firmly lodged in 'Tine's' head as breathing. Roman Numeral Thirteen thinks of itself as a person, does it? Well, I will remedy that." Maleficent seemed to be talking to herself. While her voice hadn't dropped into that weird whisper, Pete was afraid that she was going off the deep end again. So he tried to distract her.

"Ah…what'll happen to me?" he asked.

Maleficent looked at him with a kind of loose recognition. "Why, Pete…isn't it obvious? I'm letting you go."

What? Pete couldn't believe his ears. "What did you say?" he gasped.

"Why, Pete…isn't it obvious? I'm letting you go" Maleficent said again.

"But…but…but…you can't…I mean, I've been faithful…a good servant…I…"

"Ruined the project that was my only hope of standing against Mickey and the Keyblade Master" Maleficent finished for him.

"Please! Don't make me leave!" Pete begged. "What'll happen to me out there? I can't go back to Disney! I can't go back to a lot of worlds…"

"That will be your problem" Maleficent said. "I require an assistant with more brains than you possess, and more…strength." She walked past him. "Pack your things and be gone" she snapped.

"I'll catch it!" the words were out of Pete's mouth before he had a chance to even consider their gravity.

Maleficent turned to him slowly, her robes swishing. "You'll…what? Capture Roman Numeral Thirteen? Providing you can even stand against her attacks, which you won't, what would you use to contain her while transporting her here to be reprogrammed?"

"She can be reprogrammed?" Pete asked.

"Yes, though the process is difficult and painful and there is a 100 percent guarantee that there will be some brain damage, but yes, she can be reprogrammed to our cause. Now, to get back on topic, what will you confine her in?"

"I…I'll use…I'll think of it when I get to that point!" Pete said. "I'll pack and leave…but I won't come back until I have T---Roman Numeral Thirteen with me, ready for a session of reprogrammin'!"

Maleficent sighed. "You do realize that you are most likely going to your death, don't you?"

Pete nodded, and then did a salute, the salute of the Royal Disney Knights. "I do, your Ladyship."

Maleficent gave a small smile. "Very well then." Then her face hardened. "However Pete…you will delay your departure for a day. You will be tried in the Alliance Court. Your sentence will be carried out when you return."

Pete gulped. "O…okay."

"Then you are rehired as my assistant" said Maleficent. "And now your first job will take place."

"What is that?" Pete asked eagerly.

"Clean up this mess, immediately" Maleficent snapped, and then disappeared in a whoosh of green flames.