PLEASE FORGIVE ME FOR WHAT I'M ABOUT TO SAY...

Telling Charlie

I still couldn't believe last night. It had gone better than I could have ever imagined. Although I played the nights events over and over in head, I still couldn't believe it. I highly doubted that I would fall in love ever again, after Alexander, and so quickly too. Edward and I had just met, but it felt as if we had known each other for an eternity. Like we were meant to be together. I felt a completion like I had never known before. I felt as if I was empty, somehow missing something very important from my essential makeup, and that Edward filled what ever it was that I could not on my own.

After, in a way, declaring ourselves, Edward and I talked until about eleven thirty. We hadn't known it was so late. We completely lost track of time. When we were together it was way too easy to get wrapped in our own little world and forget about everything else. Like nothing else mattered but us. I had him and he had me, and with that came a great fullness, as if we only needed each other. We had become so occupied with our conversation we didn't even realize the hour.

Our conversations were always astonishing, sometimes they were on the simplest of topics, and sometimes they were on more complex issues. I was continuously absorbed in Edwards well-formulated opinions. He was so levelheaded, not like other boys, he knew things, intelligent things. The type of intelligent things that are used to start and sustain good conversations.

Edward drove me home saying, as he walked me to my front door, that he would call later on, before he kissed me softy and whispered 'goodnight'. His lips on my own had to be the most marvelous sensation ever! Although his lips were always hard as stone his kisses were as soft as, what a imagined would be, an Angels wing. They also left a warm tingling long after the kiss ended, and I loved it.

Edward and I talked last night and decided that today would be the best day to tell Charlie. We thought it would be better sooner rather than later because if I waited too long it would probably just make Charlie more mad. And to add to that I was starting to show. I had always been skinny, I weighed about 110 pounds, so it didn't take too much weight-gain for it to be noticeable that I was pregnant.

It was Sunday, so Charlie would be home early. Perfect I thought sarcastically. I knew it had to be done but I still didn't want to have to tell Charlie. I was afraid. I didn't want to get kicked out, having him think I'm some sort of slut. In all fairness, it did look like that, we were going to tell him that the baby was Edwards, and we just met. But that, to me, was better than telling him the truth. What happened with Alexander, It wasn't something that I wanted to go around telling people; 'guess what? I was raped and now I'm pregnant Yay!' sarcasm

The plan was that Edward would come by later tonight, with Carlisle. Carlisle was there because he had experience talking to people who couldn't get a grip on their emotions, just incase Charlie got too angry. We would slowly explain to him that I was pregnant, Edward was the father, and Esme would watch the baby during the day while we were at school.

"Esme won't mind at all, Alice already saw it, she'll be delighted. That way you and I can finish school and then we can move in together, and begin our wonderful eternity." Edward had said ,with a smile mind you, when I asked how all this was going to work out. He looked very calm. Sure of the future, not worried at all. I was a wreck, I wasn't too reassured by just Edward. I was quite nervous because Alice hadn't seen Charlie's reaction. Alice, or course, only saw everything else. That is what made me worry; The unknown. Alice and I had only just met, just like Edward an I, and I was already depending on her visions way too much. I didn't know it was possible to grow so close to people so fast, but I'm not complaining, I'm very content where I am. Minus having to tell Charlie.

I must have chewed of all of my nails due to the nervousness I felt about telling Charlie tonight. What if he hated me for it? I wasn't sure if that was something I would be able to handle. I tried to relieve of anxiety by telling myself that even if Charlie hated me for this, Edward still loved me and that was all I needed. It helped. A lot. I was happy that I had Edward to help me through it, I didn't know what I would do without him. I would have most likely hyperventilated.

In the middle of trying to occupy myself with cleaning, there was a knock on the door. I knew it was Edward when I looked at the clock, six thirty, just like we had planned. Of course he was punctual too. Would I ever find an imperfection?, maybe I really was destined to love everything about him, forever.

I had thought the same thing about Alexander, but there were a lot of things about him that I didn't like. For one, he was never on time, for anything. Dates, school, anything.

Anyway, back to the door. I went to open it and, again, was surprised by Edward's perfection. There he was, my look-a-like a Greek god and his father, Carlisle. I greeted them both with a smile, despite my nervousness.

"hi Edward, hi Carlisle." they both answered with hellos, their smiles were not forced, like mine had been, they were calm and not worried. Edward kissed me softly while walking in the door. I smiled but then blushed when I noticed Carlisle trying to cover up a smirk. I knew his family was happy that he had found someone, I just hoped Charlie would grant me the same emotion.

We sat on the couches and went through what we would say to Charlie. I was so nervous, he would be home soon. Sensing my nervousness, Edward rubbed my back soothingly. His touch was calming, and at the exact moment my heart rate started to slow, Charlie walked in the door.

This is so not good I thought to myself as I stood up and tried my best to smile. When Charlie walked in and noticed Carlisle and Edward he looked very confused, and looked at me for an explanation. When I opened my mouth however, Carlisle stepped in. Thank goodness.

"Mr. Swan, it may be in your best interest to sit down" then Charlie looked worried.

"Is everything alright doctor cullen?" he asked. Poor Charlie, his daughter looks stressed out and there is a doctor here telling him to sit down. He must think I have cancer or something. Picking up on this, at the same time that I did, Carlisle spoke.

"Everyone is healthy, if that's what you were wondering, but, we may have a little problem, but that depends entirely on how you take the following news" I knew that was my cue to speak, and I wanted to, so badly, but suddenly my chest felt heavy and I could find my voice. Edward took my hand, very discreetly, and that helped.

"Dad" I began slowly "I'm pregnant" I thought it best not to beat around the bush and just tell him. Charlie's face began to turn a very strange shade of purple. I silently prayed that I didn't just give him a heart attack.

"Dad...?" I questioned. He held up one hand in front of him and muttered

"give me a moment." while Charlie was taking his 'moment' I used the time to regulate my breathing and my heart rate. Charlie sat down, and so did Edward, Carlisle, and I. Charlie looked me directly in the eye and asked in what can only be described as the saddest tone in the world "why?" that simple word almost threw me over the edge. I stopped breathing for a few seconds just so I would let out the sob of despair, that had been rising in my throat.

It was one of the questions, I knew, that parents ask even though they don't really want the answer. Even if he didn't want an answer, or to even hear my voice because he was so angry, I replied with the only thing I could possibly speak.

"I'm sorry" I looked in his eyes, I could see that he was having some soft or internal struggle. I guessed it was if he should kill me or not.

His face became less-purple, as time passed. Every second was filled with an agonizing silence. It felt like forever, but probably wasn't anymore than a minute or two.

Carlisle decided to speak. He told Charlie, in a very calm voice. How responsible Edward and I were. How we planned to finish school and stay together to raise the baby. Charlie didn't seem to have a problem with my decision to keep the baby. Thank goodness, because there was no way I was going to give up my child.

By the time Carlisle finished talking, Charlie was his normal shade again. It seemed that he was slowly accepting the fact that I was pregnant and keeping the baby. Edward also spoke to Charlie, about his devotion to me and this baby. He said that he loved us both and would never abandon us. Sincerity rand in his every word, and Charlie's, still tight with anxiety face, softened. And I blushed.

By the end of the night, Charlie didn't seem at all upset, shaking hands with Carlisle and Edward, smiling, saying goodbye, and inviting them over for another time.

Edward and I got only a moment alone, he told me that he would need to hunt that night so he would see me later and would call ASAP. He told me that he loved me and kissed me softly on the lips before driving away with Carlisle.

Charlie said goodnight to me when I walked back into the house after saying goodnight to Edward. I was surprised that he didn't grill me out. Seeing my confusion he said

"your not in trouble, I trust you know what your doing, but we will talk about this later"

I replied with the only thing I could think to say "thank you for being understanding dad"

he smiled before heading upstairs to sleep, with me following behind him.