We Can Still Survive

Chapter 2

Memories

Victorian La Belle

"Edward!?" I called sitting up in bed. "Edward!?" I called again.

Slowly I sat up looking around—lost. The room seemed darker, somehow frightening even with the birds chirping and dancing around my window.

"Please Edward, answer me!" I called out into nowhere, my voice blended like honey into tea with the sounds echoing my arrival in alarm.

"Bella?" Edward's voice answered as he vaporized next to me, anger flashing in his angelic features.

How could he have changed do much through the night? He had sworn his loyalty, his love.

Fear lashed through my body like a bolt of lightening, this wasn't Edward, and it couldn't be.

"Bella, what the hell do you want?" Thrashed his voice.

I—I'm sorry you were so loving and quant last night. What happened" I tried to sooth reaching out to grasp his cold hard familiar arm.

"Get off of me Bella! I don't want you anymore! Can't you see that? Did it ever cross your mind that the reason I won't change you is that I don't want to spend eternity with you! I don't even wish to spend another second with you!" He concluded, his voice shaking with anger.

My body shook with convulsions of hurt, the hole ripping apart my soul at the thought of this being true.

"No, you're lying, you love me. You love me… You promised" I whispered trying to make him understand.

"Bella! Hun wake up, are you okay?" Edward asked fear crossing his face as I sat up in my bed, thankful to be awake.

"Um. Yeah I guess, it was just a nightmare." I covered.

"Well, okay. I have something I need to tell you." Edward jumped.

"Do you know why Esme and Carsile were so thrilled when I found you?" Edward asked.

"No," I whispered forced to look away from his face.

"Because 30 years ago today, I was in love—with a woman named Jillian. But she died. Do you know what became of her?"

"No," I answered meekly. Staring into his topaz eyes I tried to understand what he was trying to tell me but my mind always came back to the dream.

"Do you want to know what happened next, what became of Jillian?" he whispered coming closer to me, wonder coursed through my dazed body. I nodded my eyes nearly blind but still steady.

"I'll tell you, then. She died the next day. I killed her." Edward finished looking away ashamed.

My flesh crept at the words.

"You don't mean that," I said shakily. I remember my dream, the hatred that came from his mouth and I forced myself not to recoil from him, I had to tell myself that he loved me, it was only a dream. "Edward, I know you. You couldn't have done that…" I swore. Hesitantly I touched his arm, soothing his ridged structure.

"Bella, don't." Edward threatened looking away from me.

Softly but firmly I grasped his face willing him to look at me, "You promised, you promised your life to me, your eternal drawn life, to me Edward. To me." I pleaded looking into his eyes, my own soiled with tears. He began to relax, eyes softening.

"Bella…" Edward began.

"Shhh…" I stopped him, by placing my finger to his mouth.

"Tell me." I willed him, "Tell me."

"I'm sorry Bella; I'm just not myself today. I love you. Please forgive me?" Edward begged looking into my eyes, like he was trying to unlock a door with a key that didn't quite fit.

"What happened to Jillian?" Was all that I would say.

His eyes blanketed into the past. Though before starting he held my hand with security coloring his features.

30 years prior

"We- we loved each other.

'Jillian, Jillian, where are you?' I called. A giggle erupted from the woods.

A streak of blonde struck my sight with as a scent of jasmine hit my nostrils, along with the tempting scent of her blood, the blood that kept us apart. She didn't know my secret; she never should've, though this would be her last day, not knowing, and living.

'Jillian, come, oh Jillian.' I called, hearing her sneak up behind me not knowing that I knew her every move. She leapt towards me landing gracefully on my back. Pretending a surprise I jumped.

'Ah ha Edward, gotcha' she joked. Her sweet flesh called me like a song singing, and singing. It was too much I grabbed her from my back, and before she or I knew what happened I was drinking, her sweet, blood. Terror flashed across her face.

'Edward, oh God help me, Edward PLEASE STOP!" Jillian cried tears flowed freely down her precious golden face."

"Edward please, you're hurting my hand," I cried as his hand crushed my hand, though he seemed unable to hear me.

"I couldn't stop, though how hard I tried. Every time I close my eyes I hear her screams. I felt her finally stop struggling and pleading with God to help her and save her, little did she know she was wrestling with the Devils minions. When I looked into her eyes they were dead, lifeless. Those beautiful eyes that glittered every time I kissed her. Those eyes that were the colors that painters envied. Sapphires that shown all the way down into the depths of her soul.

"Oh, Edward, I'm so sorry," I cried into his shoulder, tears pouring down my face, him shaking with the memories.

"I'm sorry I just am so frightened that I could loose you the same way." Edward whispers were muffled by my thick hair.

"Edward, it doesn't matter, I want to live the rest of my life with you, be it tomorrow that my end comes, and then I will have fulfilled my dreams." I whispered looking up into his eyes.

"Do you really not want to spend another instant with me?" I asked afraid of what the answer was.

"Bella—Oh God Bella, I love you, I was so overwhelmed, I wasn't rational. I want to spend my life with you, and only you…You're my Jillian." Edward assured me slightly mortified.

"You're my Romeo." I said, tears finally subsiding.

"Why didn't you ever tell me of Jillian?" I asked.

"I never wanted you to know about that part of my life. I wanted to be your Prince." Edward explained.

"What? I don't understand." I said looking up to face him.

"I didn't want you to know that I couldn't ever resist my brand of Heroin." Edward explained hoping that it made more sense.

SO how do you all like it? I wasn't sure; if nobody likes it I can always re-write it! Or just quit the story al together…Let me know. Even if you despise it, let me know that!

-Beth